Yes! The word shadow attack might feel a bit strong, but as a man, that’s how you might experience her energetic projections.
It can get pretty intense.
If you are a man, it’s useless to position yourself as a victim of her shadows.
You always have at least two players! So take full responsibility for your side!
Once you master shadows individually, you have to master them in combinations as well.
For instance your lover might be angry, manipulative, resentful, sad and betraying you all at the same time.
You need to respond to a shadow combination.
That obviously requires a higher level of shadow mastery.
Here are some examples.
You date a woman, are in a relationship or married and she expresses some of the following shadows:
- She spies on you, goes into your email account, facebook private messages and totally invades your privacy.
- She gossips about you.
- Her friends check you out and report to her.
- She talks to your friends behind your back and conspires to manipulate or hurt you.
- She steals your ideas or creations and makes people believe that they are hers.
- She is emotionally unpredictable – She shifts from extremely happy to extremely sad with simple innocent triggers.
- She creates drama and conflict out of nothing.
- She is emotionally intense all the time and never relaxes.
- She is unhappy and finds ways of blaming you for that.
- She builds up stories and assumes they are true.
- She is explosive and communicates in very emotional untamed ways.
- She is packed with baggage and traumas from her past love life.
- She is demanding and requires full unlimited attention when she’s around.
- She shuts down sexually to you to punish you or just because she feels like it.
- She disqualifies and sabotages what you have.
- She says she wants intimacy, sex and connection but doesn’t provide emotional safety.
- She asphyxiates your space by cutting you from the things you need and love.
- She attacks your friends and is rude to them.
- She feels challenged by any woman who approaches you.
- She is extremely sexual with other men in front of you to trigger you and make you jealous.
- She misleads you by telling you she wants something when in fact she is manifesting the exact opposite.
- Her words, intentions and promises don’t match her actions.
- She wants to be number one in your life but doesn’t give you that position in her life.
- She lies to you about her sex life and her lovers.
- She manipulates you and plays games by getting you trapped in situations that work against you and hurt you.
- She attacks your core qualities to weaken the sexual attraction you create in other women towards you.
- She negates your core qualities, skills and life experience to make you weaker.
- If you don’t do what she wants or contradict her, she makes vindictive choices to hurt you.
- She does everything she can to open you up and then attacks you.
- She asks you to share your feelings and freaks out or totally disconnects when you do.
- She argues and systematically talks over you.
- She is often ungrateful for the gifts she receives from you.
- She rejects your gifts them and sabotage her ability to receive them in the future.
- She betrays you and then wonders why you don’t trust her.
- She unconsciously sabotages many precious sacred moments by expressing untamed emotions.
- She is highly insecure about her body.
- She feels threatened by other women’s beauty and sexiness.
- She enters in competitive games with other women.
- She plays nasty tricks on you, knows she was hurtful but never apologizes or apologizes months later.
- She uses her weapons and manipulation on you but instantly reacts and attacks you when you or anyone else uses the same tactics on her.
- Rather than taking responsibility for her own shadows, she blames you and criticizes you incessantly for what doesn’t work in your connection.
- She is totally unfair when judging a story, her behavior or your behavior.
- She gives a totally distorted picture of reality to her friends to appear as the victim and good girl to them.
- She has double standards which means being ok with her doing some things and freaking out when you mirror the same behavior.
- She gives up on dialogue or the relationship as soon as she is faced with a disturbing truth or disturbing emotion about herself.
- She avoids telling the truth by playing being offended when asked simple questions.
- She stays in the upset or offended zone to trigger guilt in you.
- She says she is sorry and does it all over again without changing her behavior.
- She goes in sudden physically and emotionally abusive explosive behaviors.
- She consciously ignores you in front of her friends to make them believe she is on top.
- When she has a new lover and just wants to take a break out of the relationship, she finds a detail, triggers a fight or makes up a story to get out.
- She laughs at her own flaws and shadow experiments but is totally unforgiving when you make a small mistake or play with your own shadows.
- She says she wants to be committed to be together but gives up and leaves as soon as a challenge hits her.
- She isolates you from other potential lovers and friends and then cuts you off or deprives you from love and sex.
- If you face a conflict, she will be cruel and do anything she can to hurt you.
- She submits you to pressure, demands, threatens you and gives you ultimatums.
- She is constantly seeking attention from you and everyone else. She has this deep urge to always be the center of attention.
- She tries to emotionally asphyxiate you by bombarding you with her hatred.
- She starts on a project with you and then almost instantly poisons it and sabotages its chances of success.
- She gets really loud and curses a lot but gets offended the moment you raise your voice.
- She goes and has sex with other men and uses that energy to attack you or exclude you.
- She is evasive, doesn’t give you clear answers, doesn’t reply to your questions or your messages.
- She sends you message questions but abandons or ignores your chat as soon as you respond or asks her follow up questions.
- She is self defeating for your couple, destroys or breaks up one moment and wants to be together for life the next.
- She goes through emotional extremes and provides little emotional continuity or energetic stability.
- She abandons virtual chats, disconnects, doesn’t invest energy in them, doesn’t reply to your questions or ignores your messages but reacts strongly if you don’t reply to her messages within the hour.
- She is cryptic and mysterious in the way she communicates, doesn’t state her intentions, isn’t clear or doesn’t reply to your questions. She plays communication games.
- She avoids or ignores your deep questions and stays in chit chat mode instead.
- She interprets what you say, misrepresents it, modifies it, gives it her own spin, exaggerates it. She eventually tells you that you said certain things that in fact you never said.
- She puts you down by saying things like “You are bad for me”, “You are not worth it, “I don’t want to be your lover”, “Being with you is a big mistake”, etc.
- She attacks you ruthlessly when you do or say something she disagrees with but doesn’t thank you much when you get it right.
- She complains and blames you endlessly.
- She expresses intense emotional threats and puts you under strong pressure to get you to do what she wants.
This is a long list example!
I don’t think anyone on this planet has them all but you might recognize a few either in you or in others.
Which ones do you recognize?
As a woman?
As a man?
It does strike me that once you are looking at them, the diversity of shadow tactics is stunning!
Just labeling someone with an easy word like “disrespectful” or “unclear” doesn’t do it anymore.
Shadows are way deeper and refined than that as you can see!
A blanket term is way too general.
It is like suddenly discovering the vast diversity of green shades in a tropical forest.
Shadows really have their own beauty when you start looking at them from that angle.
When you understand them, you befriend them, you can play with them or receive them with grace.
You realize as well how seductive shadows can be.
They give an edge to those who express them and that often makes them attractive to others.
Sexual seduction is often anchored in shadow play.
You will trigger mystery, emotional threat or dominance to get someone aroused.
If a woman doesn’t own any shadows and is just pure, she might appear flat or naive.
I am not glorifying shadows or lights now, I am simply pointing out some essential human dynamics that create power and attraction.
Right now I wrote these examples targeted to women but of course the same type of shadows apply to men as well, so don’t get offended if you are a woman, ok?
Simply shift the “she” to “he”.
This is not an attack on women!
And it is not an attempt to defend men either!
Both genders have equally strong shadows!
Are specific shadows gender specific?
Are women or men more prone to specific shadows?
That’s a questions I will check soon!
Everyone has both aspects.
- A smile from her makes your day.
- Sex is deep, intense, delicious, fiery, explosive, wild and passionate.
- You learn a lot when you are with her.
- Your connection is high energy.
- She loves you and cares for you.
- She validates you and acknowledges your power and skills.
- She likes the way you treat her.
- The spirit connects you really well.
- You have common goals and similar life intentions.
- Your destinies match in many ways.
- Your sexual desires and sexual energies are a perfect match.
- She is fun to be around.
- She is connected with sources of energy that open you up.
- You respect and love her.
- You engage in intense energetic battles and go through fire together.
- Her innocence and desire to learn touches you.
- She wants you in her life.
- She opens you up in many ways.
- She is a shadow trainer to you.
- She reveals human dynamics that you didn’t see before.
- She is a mirror.
- She is powerful.
- She manifests things.
- She is high energy.
- You have huge potential together.
- She is forgiving and knows how to let go.
- She can communicate in deep and sincere ways.
- She often shares her vulnerabilities.
- She is aware of her shadows.
- She wants to expand, explore and evolve.
- She has high ambitions.
- She is grounded and realistic.
- She is professionally and financially successful.
- She is in integrity with financial agreements and understands the art of giving and receiving
- She is connected with a strong, supportive, powerful network.
- She cares for people, the planet and humankind.
- Her body is high energy.
- She knows how to take care of her body and nurtures herself.
- She eats well and healthy.
- She has a personal spiritual practice.
- She is very free, open and adventurous.
- She asks for what she wants and often gets it.
- She has high impact on those who know her.
- She knows how to be leader and inspire others.
- She respects sacredness and is deeply connected spiritually.
See what happens?
An interesting game to play is to make a list of your own lights and shadows.
If you are in a relationship and are ready for VITAL TRUTH, that’s a game that you can play too.
With the shadow cocktail like what I describe earlier, you might be able to master some of these aspects and be more challenged by others.
For instance you might not care about your girlfriend gossiping about you, or having some emotional explosion or attacking you or even cheating on you.
But you might be totally disarmed when you see her sad and depressed.
You might be ok with her lying to you or abusing your friends but freak out when she disconnects in a moment of weakness.
It takes some deep skills and understanding to master a shadow cocktail.
You might get it almost right one day and then fail miserably because she hits you with another shadow that you didn’t see coming.
What’s fascinating as well is that you might get used to some shadows that triggered you in the beginning.
For instance you might be used to her lies or denial and find them almost cute.
You might hear her say that her ex wanted to see her when you know it’s her who is seeking him.
Or she might tell you they shared a couple kisses when in fact they had sex.
Changing or educating someone can be really tough because shadows might keep on coming in other forms.
If she’s always been the shadow type, shadow energies have become her landscape and it is hard for her to shift that.
You might tackle one pattern.
She might shift from just telling soft lies to entering in highly manipulative tactics.
Why is that?
Because shadows are first formless energies!
The patterns you see appearing are the reflection of the energy behind them.
The visible expressions of these shadows are only the visible tip of a much vaster reality.
If you tackle the pattern you tackle the symptom not the deep cause.