Am I asking too much?
Hi, how are you? I know my bf really loves me but the problem is that he has too many female casual friends. This seems to be the cause of the problem for me. We have been seeing other for 5 months now. We are in the same university and spend a lot of time with each other.
The problem is he doesn’t share much about his female friends he has back home and keeps in regular touch with them through email and phone. He doesn’t share what he discusses and shares with them in detail.
I know there is nothing going on between him and his friends but I am not comfortable with the fact that he is so close to them. They all share their personal problems with him. He thinks I am the too much of an “issue type” and should not get affected by this.
THE FACT IS I AM NOT COMFORTABLE IN MY MIND. WHAT DO I DO HOW DO I MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND. IS IT ASKING FOR TOO MUCH THAT HE SHOULD NOT BE TOO CLOSE WITH THEM THEY ARE HIS OLD SCHOOL (FEMALE) FRIENDS
Thank you for your question,
Yes, it is asking for too much. Having friends, female friends for him outside of the relationship gives value to him and to what you share together. It allows him to understand women better and he might use what he learns to please you better as a woman.
Jealousy is a destructive force when there is nothing going on. Being possessive, clingy or controlling is not good for any relationship. On the long term it kills love, destroy the romance, build mistrust, and… shall I go on?
You get the message. There is another way: it’s called trust and respect. Put it that way: amongst all the women he knows, it’s with you he chooses to be! That’s a gift for you!
Instead of learning how to express your jealousy, develop your trusting skills. Sure, protect your relationship. Don’t be blind with real threats. Give him love, trust, respect and freedom. If you try to control his life, sooner or later, he’ll explode! 50% of break ups have to do with control issues… Believe me don’t go there. Open the space and the freedom instead.