It goes like that:
YOU DON’T COACH SOMEONE WHO HASN’T GIVEN YOU THE PERMISSION TO COACH THEM.
This works as well for social situations, family, couples, friends, colleagues, managers, etc.
Have you ever been in this situation where you open up with vulnerability and the friend you are sharing to, tries to jump in with advice straight away.
They might try to fix you or stop you from feeling what you are feeling.
It interrupts your sharing and emotional flow and blocks the natural completion of the emotional release you are going through.
If you do that within a professional coaching context, that’s one of the most fundamental coaching mistakes:
It’s called “Jumping in too soon with advice”.
Don’t do that.
Offer a safe sharing space instead.
If you notice that a friend or lover is in trouble, ask them respectfully:
“Are you open for some coaching or advice on this topic?”
Sometimes, they will say “Yes” to be polite but what they really mean to say is “No, thank you, not now”.
To find out if their “Yes” is real, start with a few words and feel how they energetically respond to your advice or suggestions.
You will get instant hints through their body language, facial expression and know if they are opening up or shutting down.
If you get a “Yes”, keep going…
If you feel a “No”, you can say something like:
“I feel I am making you a bit uncomfortable here… Maybe I’ll share this another time”
ASK FOR PERMISSION BEFORE COACHING SOMEONE