The number one early dating trap is giving too much too soon.
Avoid that one and you are in for the ride of your life.
Maybe the dating challenge is as simple as that.
When you give too much, you have very higher expectations.
You fall in love and straight away start imagining a long life together.
Expressions like “Soul mate”, “He is the one” or “Mr. Right” come to your mind.
You met this guy two hours ago and your emotions are already galloping, building dreams and incredible expectations about the future.
This is the “Romantic Dream”.
True, it is beautiful in itself.
The good news is that there is nothing wrong with you.
Dreaming has to do with desire.
It is normal to project yourself into the future and have wishes.
This romantic dream can power your day and give you immense joy.
The risk however is to be very disappointed when it does not happen.
The goal is simple: enjoy the romance, enjoy the dream, fantasies and add this dimension of realism which says something like:
“You know what? I dream and I like it. It’s okay for me to dream. It feeds me and makes me happy. I know it is just a dream at this stage and there are no guarantees. I stay awake and don’t give myself away.”
“I enjoy this love experience right now for what it is. A beautiful moment. I enjoy the moment for what it is. I don’t give myself away. I don’t make promises. I don’t give away my life. I simply enjoy a romantic vision in this moment. I have no expectations and while I do enjoy this experience I know I am and stay 100% emotionally free!”
Can you see what happens?
You dare to trust.
You know you will be fine no matter what.
You will be fine with or without him.
You don’t try to control the outcome of your dating experience.
You are not attached to it.
You trust that tomorrow will give you similar gifts.
Now, you don’t try to fix or crystallize a romantic moment.
You don’t take pictures as if it won’t happen again tomorrow.
Your romantic and flirting power stays awake.
It is yours.
You can use it again whenever you want to.
You can be in love again because this experience belongs to you!
You don’t give it to just one man.
It is your experience.
Your flirting power wakes up this experience.
If you are in love one day, you still keep your flirting power.
You don’t give it away.
You don’t say something like: “Well… I give up my flirting power because now I found a man…”
Keep your flirting power.
If you step back, what you say is: “I make myself dependent towards the love of that man. I now rely only on him to validate me”
If you do that, you emotionally commit yourself to him; which is not good.
This is the first and major dating mistake.
Why is it a mistake?
Because you have no guarantee that he takes the same step on his side.
In most cases, this type of emotional commitment is a one way thing.
We are in a stage before you even talked to him about serious relationship.
You might have flirted a couple of times.
Maybe you have been slightly intimate.
There is still no relationship.
However, you emotions are already being polarized and you are ready to drop your other options.
If you like him and can imagine a steady relationship with him, first check out where he is at.
You don’t ask him straight questions.
Read through his words, attitudes, body language, etc.
Use your intuition and be realistic about it.
Is he behaving like he is committed to you or does he want to stay free?
Does he look like a player?
Does he have an ex with who he is still very close?
In at least 80% of the cases, the guys you can meet are not emotionally free or ready to step into a relationship!
Sometimes, it’s their job which keeps them very busy.
They can as well have other priorities or be coming out of a tumultuous divorce.
They might be enjoy the flirting game but want to stay free.
They might have someone else in mind.
Maybe the idea of commitment is simply not part of their way of thinking.
Don’t commit yourself emotionally!!!!
Check it deeper!
Where does he stand?
Even if he gives you some signs of serious interest, it still means nothing in terms of commitment!
Stay free and keep your options opened!
This early non committed stage of dating can last a few months.
It is okay!
During that time, the goal is simple:
Build up chemistry.
Stay free and keep your options open.
This is a battle strategy.
What is your goal in this battle of energies?
Stay master of your life!
You want to stay in charge of your existence!
If you stay in charge of your life, dating and flirting are fun!
It stays fun and freeing as long as you stay emotionally free!!!