tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34678795206356475452010-02-14T02:56:49.289-08:00vitalcoachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314585457515516430noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467879520635647545.post-50102512940573972742009-07-18T01:51:00.000-07:002009-07-18T02:18:55.410-07:00As promised, here is a deeper explanation of what communicating cleanly means.<div><br /></div><div>Communicating cleanly means:</div><div><ul><li>Making whole complete sentences</li><li>Asking clear questions</li><li>Removing repeated expressions like "you know..."</li><li>Grounding more your tone of voice - Usually, this means speaking louder with more confidence + being aware of your tone and modulating it according to the situation.</li></ul><div>How high do you score on any of these?</div><div><br /></div><div>Again, the best is to simply record a session and listen.</div><div><br /></div><div>You will get an instant hint of the quality of your communication style.</div><div><br /></div><div>---------------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>How clean does your language need to be?</div><div><br /></div><div>This can sound like a strange question but here is why I am asking it:</div><div><br /></div><div>One day, I saw an interview of Richard Branson and I was stunned to actually see a man in front of an audience who appeared totally insecure and hesitant.</div><div><br /></div><div>His body language was absolutely not the one of a winner.</div><div><br /></div><div>His legs were crossed in the weirdest postion.</div><div><br /></div><div>He was not sitting straight.</div><div><br /></div><div>He didn't end his sentences or express clearly what he meant in a posed way.</div><div><br /></div><div>Even though he had all these flaws he still appeared incredibly likeable.</div><div><br /></div><div>This question appeared in my mind:</div><div><br /></div><div>This could actually be an attitude he perfected over the years and this lack of almost confident presence was actually what was making him so successful and magnetically attractive.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, this is not the attiutude one thinks would work but guess what? It seems to actually work.</div><div><br /></div><div><div>---------------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>Another example comes from Thomas Leonard.</div><div><br /></div><div>When you listen to sessions or teleclasses from him, he really goes on refining his explanation of a topic. His speach flows like a river but not like a political discourse with clear statements.</div><div><br /></div><div>It is much more like a river that flows through the valley taking time to feed all aspects of nature and forests.</div><div><br /></div><div>Honestly, I really likie that! It is alive and prefectly works for communicating a message.</div><div><br /></div><div>The core of what he wanted to say could have been communicated in just a couple of sentences though.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, why strectch this explanation on and on when everyone got it after the first few words?</div><div><br /></div><div>Well... It is because speech is an art.</div><div><br /></div><div>Artistic expression has a dimension of beauty and refinement in it, not just functionality.</div><div><br /></div><div>This dimension of refinement and beauty is what makes us enjoy any artistic expression.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is why communicating with any of these two persons is much more than a simple partical experience.</div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes, a nicely curved and playful trajectory will give more pleasure than a straight line.</div><div><br /></div><div>How to summarize this?</div><div><br /></div><div>Ad refinement and beauty to your communication style. </div><div><br /></div><div>I know there is a better way to say... Any ideas?</div><div><br /></div><div>How much refinement and art you want to ad to your communication style?</div><div><br /></div><div>How direct and functional you want your sentences to be?</div><div><br /></div><div>It is really up to you to find out what style suits you best.</div><div><br /></div><div>Enjoy!</div></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3467879520635647545-5010251294057397274?l=vitalcoaching.com%2Fblogs%2Fa10%2Fcoachingsuccess.html' alt='' /></div>vitalcoachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314585457515516430noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467879520635647545.post-76213255556910994522009-07-18T01:03:00.000-07:002009-07-18T01:49:01.700-07:00To keep on learning it is super essential to analyse the way your communicate in a coaching session.<div><br /></div><div>Did you know that Michael Jackson would view tapes of his concerts straight after the event to observe flaws and places where he could perform better.</div><div><br /></div><div>That's ABSOLUTELY what I encourage you to do to perfect your skills.</div><div><br /></div><div>You could do that either with a coach or by yourself.</div><div><br /></div><div>At this stage, this second option is what I encourage you to try because it won't cost you a thing except recording the session + taking the time to analyze it.</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, if you need extra feed back after that, you can always get in touch and ask me to review your session with you. I'll be happy to do that if you feel that can help you.</div><div><br /></div><div>-----------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>Here is a real life example of an autocritique I did on a session I had recently:</div><div><br /></div><div>(unfortunately, for confidentiality reasons, I can't share this recording with you - I might do some session recordings in the future and ask clients for permission to share them with you - That way, you will have some examples of what my coaching sessions look like - This is something that could happen at a later stage...)</div><div><br /></div><div>-----------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>Here is what happens when I listen to my recording...</div><div><br /></div><div>First thing that comes up:</div><div><br /></div><div>My way of communicating is not clean enough.</div><div><br /></div><div>I saw myself not finishing many sentences and asking questions in a way which was not grounded enough and too hesitant in their expression.</div><div><br /></div><div>It doesn't hurt the results but a more professional communication style would have a higher impact.</div><div><br /></div><div>score 70% on that one.</div><div><br /></div><div>My aim 100%</div><div><br /></div><div>-----------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>Overall session quality and impact.</div><div><br /></div><div>overall, I am happy with the impact + quality ---> 90%</div><div><br /></div><div>I do feel that the client walked away with EXACTLY what he needed.</div><div><br /></div><div>I had him for one session only and was not sure if he would be taking more after that, so basically, we had 60 min to hit the target.</div><div><br /></div><div>Yes, he got all the answers he was looking for + strategy + course of action for the future.</div><div><br /></div><div><div>-----------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>Coaching style - Very directive</div><div><br /></div><div>This means that I do ask questions but lots of very directive advice is given as well.</div><div><br /></div><div>I will say things like: "Here is what you must do if you want to win this challenge..."</div><div><br /></div><div>Yes, in my book, in that case, that the best way to coach!</div><div><br /></div><div>This client hired me for my expertise on this specific topic (in that case, it's break ups)</div><div><br /></div><div>I would have wasted his time if I was asking him open ended questions.</div><div><br /></div><div>People want solid answers.</div><div><br /></div><div>You can ask them to guess and "find answers in them" but guess what? If you have a short cut that will save them weeks of guessing with a solid pathway to win a challenge it is your duty to share this with them.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you go to a surgeon, imagine him saying something like:</div><div><br /></div><div>"I know I could operate you but you will learn so much more if you do it yourself. Here is the scalpel... what do you think is the best step to take next?"</div><div><br /></div><div>Honestly? Operating yourself would probably be one of the most incredible life experiences you can go through.</div><div><br /></div><div>The limiting factor is time and energy though. You usually simply don't have the resources and space to explore something as deep as that.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, you want to hire a professional who will do it for you.</div><div><br /></div><div>With coaching? Same story!</div><div><br /></div><div>Clients are looking for extra power, support, strategies, answers, etc.</div><div><br /></div><div>You can lead them in finding their answers themselves or share with them a power and energy filled strategy that you know works the best.</div><div><br /></div><div>Why do you know that your strategy is best?</div><div><br /></div><div>Because you have years of experience on this topic!</div><div><br /></div><div>They don't!</div><div><br /></div><div>This is what gives you and edge and positions you as an expert in that field.</div><div><br /></div><div>Giving advice or asking open ended questions are two tools!</div><div><br /></div><div>They are both super essential in the coaching process.</div><div><br /></div><div>Experience is what tells you which tool will work best in a given coaching situation.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is a vast and sensitive topic in the coaching world!</div><div><br /></div><div>More on this coming soon...</div><div><br /></div><div>--------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>Oups... I went a bit off track here... Guess I needed to get this off my chest! Thanks for listening and hope this info is useful to you.</div><div><br /></div><div><div>--------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>Back to the session...</div><div><br /></div><div><div>--------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>Conclusion on that one:</div><div><br /></div><div>communicate more cleanly - this is your top priority for coming sessions - go from 70% to 100% on that specific skill.</div><div><br /></div><div><div>--------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>This is it!</div><div><br /></div><div>You see what happens when I make my own autocritique that way?</div><div><br /></div><div>I tackle a specific element I would have missed if I didn't listen to the recording or was open to perfecting my coaching style.</div><div><br /></div><div>In just 30 min, I identified a strategy that will help me perfect my coaching style.</div><div><br /></div><div>If I implement this strategy, the quality of my coaching will be improved for years to come.</div><div><br /></div><div>I could have missed that one and score only at a fraction of my potential for years to come...</div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, you can see now the benefits, right?</div></div><div><br /></div></div></div><div><div>--------------------</div><div><br /></div><div>What is next?</div><div><br /></div><div>Impementing this strategy of course!</div><div><br /></div><div>I will make a mental note + post a reminder somewhere I can see frequently.</div><div><br /></div><div>Next, I will practice this in coaching sessions until that specific skill is fully grounded in me.</div><div><br /></div><div>I will as well write another article to explain EXACTLY what I mean by communicating more cleanly...</div><div><br /></div><div>See how it works?</div><div><br /></div><div>To your coaching success!</div></div><div><br /></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3467879520635647545-7621325555691099452?l=vitalcoaching.com%2Fblogs%2Fa10%2Fcoachingsuccess.html' alt='' /></div>vitalcoachhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15314585457515516430noreply@blogger.com0