< Break up news >

Okay,

It has been more than 3 years now since I coached a man for the first time on break up recovery.

Breaks up are tough. If you are married, it is even tougher because of the legal aspects involved in it.

There is always two aspects to a break up.

The first one is the emotional one.

The second is the material or legal one.

If you are not married, it is of course much easier because you don't have to go through any legal divorce battle.

(Did you know by the way that 80% of divorces do actually get "dirty".)

If you are struggling with legal issues, there is plenty of help available. You can check with a lawyer and you'll usually get straight answers.

Now, when it comes to the emotional side of a separtion or break up, it's a totally different story.

The goal is simple: you want get your full power back as an individual as soon as possible.

There is no need to stay in these "in between" emotional turbulent waters for too long.

The challenge is simple: you want to shift your personal and emotionla base from a "couple" base to an "individual" base.

You know of course how to live as an indivdual.

This is where you were before you entered a relationship.

The goal is to reconnect with this part of yourself.

Get back your power means regaining this personal base as an individual.

This is what I help you with in this e-book.

It is powerful because it gives you direct strategies and mind sets 100% targeted to a break up situation.

Some strategies or approaches never work.

Some others do work.

My goal is simple: make sure that you win this life challenge.

The way you negotiate this curve can put you on a clear succcess line for your future. You want to come out of this as a winner, not a looser. This is what I help you with in this e-book:

How to get your power back after she breaks up

Feel free to get in touch if you need extra ideas or live help.

I do offer as well targeted coaching sessions on this topic.

If I coach you on that, I'll pass you the e-book anyway.

Take care

Francisco

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I'll be direct, okay?

My goal here is not to show lack of respect for any friendship or natural support network you have.

These are important but often not enough.

Why is that? Because a friend is not a professional coach or a therapist.

In fact a friend has often many worries and other priorities in his own life.

When you face a challenge, it is normal for a friend to offer support for a while. He will take you out or invite you for dinner, listen to your story and try to help as well as possible.

The truth is that your friend is not a break up expert.

He imporovises answers to the challenges you face hoping that his words will have an empowering impact on you.

They hope that this will be enough.

I have many friends and many of them did break up in the past.

When one of my friends breaks up, I say:

"Do you want me to help you as a friend or as a coach"

If he says he wants help as a friend, I get actually very frustrated. I get frustrated because I see a massive difference between professional coaching and helping someone as a friend.

As a friend, I get frustrated because I have only a fraction of the tools I have as a coach.

As a friend, I can't be that direct, I can' use tools, strategies, models, tactics and a whole range of approaches available within the coaching space.

As a friend, I sit down, listen and ask a few questions. In most cases, months or sometimes even years later, my friend's story is often still the same. I meet this guy who broke up 2 or 3 years ago and he will say things which show me straight away that he did not recover his power. In fact, he still talks as if he was in the middle of his break up.

As a professional coach, it is a different story.

Why? Because you hire me for my expertise.

You don't hire me to reinforce your pain and tell you, that you are right.

You hire me because you want to shift from where you are to where you know you could be.

I have this experince because I "travelled" the break up recovery path with many men like you.

I had of course my own share of life experiences as well, but these experiences alone are only a small fraction of my expertise.

I know the pitfalls, the areas where you can get stacked or need a significant power boost.

I become an agent of your evolution and help you with that.

I won't take the steps for you but I do walk the path with you, side by side.

This is the type of support I am committed to offer every single time you sign in for coaching.

I coach because I care.

I still practice this as a professional because for coaching to work we both need to invest ourselves in it.

This is what a friend can't do after a while. A friend will simply run out of ideas and energy.

He can offer you moral support in the earcly stages but after that, his social life is geared on fun, lightness and excitement. Your break up can only be the center of attention for so long. After a while, everyone wants to move on, specially if they don't see a change.

Here is another trap: negative attention.

When you are in a break up situation, this is what you get. Sometimes, it is real compassion.

Many times, it is only pitty.

Pitty is not very useful in helping you get your power back.

In fact it does exactly the opposite.

It reinforces your position as a victim.

The truth is that many people do feed themselves from altruistic attitudes.

The moment you start feeling great they almost look disapointed because they actually get something out of seeing you low.

I know that I am very direct here but this is the truth. It is not the case for everyone of course but the "negative attention" model is the core of many people's lives.

In fact, deep inside they don't want you to solve this challenge because seeing you in trouble reinforces the idea that they are actually doing great.

I know. We, coaches tend sometimes to fall in that category as well: "look how good we are...", "Look how happy I am...", etc. (I am working on that one! Remind me if I ever put you down in any way, okay? :-))

It is good however to move beyond the victim role as soon as possible.

You want to be a winner. You are no victim.

I won't give you pitty or negative attention. What I want to give you are strategies, tactics, power and tools to win this challenge.

This is the difference between being a coach and being a friend.

So, what hat do you want me to wear? (hope you got the message and say the coach's one :-))

http://vitalcoaching.com/allareas/signin.htm

Take care and get in touch

Francisco

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There are basically three avenues you can take if you just broke up:

• The first one is to go solo. You don't look for help. You only rely on yourself and on your inner resources. You might ask some friends for advice and tips on how to handle this situation. You might ask some people for feed back on what to do next.
• The second one is to get a book or e-book on the topic. Check my example. This option will give you strategies, ideas, mind sets to solev this challenge wisely and effectively.
• The third option is to get live help. Live help means signing in for coaching sessions. You get a whole support structure which gives you a space to share your story, understand the dynamics of your break up, get targeted strategies to deal with the challenges, be warned by break up pitfalls, etc.

You are of course free!!!

You decide the way you want to handle this challenge.

What is the best option?

To tell you the truth, it totally depends on your own life skills and the way you feel right now.

A break up can be very smooth or totally devastating depending on the way you look at it and handle it.

I know many guys who would take 2 or 3 years to recover from a break up.

During that time, they won't date, they will put their whole social life on hold and try to forget while longing every single day to get back to their ex.

2 to 3 years is a long time!!! Far too long if you want to go on with your life!

Imagine the amount of time and opportunities wasted because you are not emotionally ready to move on.

In worst case scenarios, you might not even truly heal because this break up might have eroded your self esteem and confidence.

What I see is that your life is under attack.

If you break up, you are challenged by a situation which can negatively impact on all aspects of your life and personality.

The truth is that there is a direct and simple way to handle this situation.

If you get a break up "road map" you can actually avoid many break up pitfalls and jump to your next life stage much faster.

This does not mean avoiding the mourning period.

It does not mean avoiding key break up or relationship issues.

This is not denial. You don't try to blind yourself from reality.

No, you simply face reality, learn what you need to learn, develop new life power skills and discover how to move on much faster.

This is what I can teach you via my e-book or coaching sessions.

What works best?

Well, both approaches are excellent and they will both give you the targeted support and strategies you need. With live help I will spell out the strategies in greater detail and give you as well continuity in your power recovery path.

I am very much aware that this is an investment. If you sign in for the "1 month total support" option for instance you will get weekly sessions, e-book, call back option, email and phone support between weekly sessions in case you need an urgent power boost.

I know this system works because I have seen the results. It is rare to have one of my clients need more after that. Usually after one month, you are ready to start focusing on dating again and manifesting your full personal power.

What does this mean? That within one month, your life is back on track.

After a break up, specially when she is the one who decides to split, your level of power can be low, sometimes only 20% to 50% of your true potential. You might have difficulties to eat, work, sleep and stay healthy. This is what I help you with first.

I make sure that your life stays on track.

My goal is to help you get back to a full healthy 100% personal potential within one month.

Imagine the impact that this can have in the months or years to come.

It is of course priceless.

After making sure you stay on track, I help you find answers. You probably have this questions in you: "why did that happen?", "why did she leave?", etc.

We'll find direct answers to these questions.

The next step is to design a strategy for the future. Many guys want to try to get back together with their ex. This is one of the key break up challenge because in 95% of the cases, getting back together does not work.

Why is that? It would be too long to explain it here. I would actually need a whole e-book to tell you.

So, the first challenge is to bring back the full focus on your life.

This is the next step we focus on. Basically, this means shifting from thinking "us", "couple" to thinking "Me!", "individual".

You know exactly how to do that. I simply help you recover your natural skills.

A break up is a crisis situation.

A crisis requires emergency resources.

What are these resources? You can call them survival drive. These are natural instincts which wake up when your life is in danger. It is like an adrenaline rush or a specific shift in your consciousness.

A break up means that the relationship vehicle has collapsed.

This relationship vehicle used to provide you with an emotional base. This was your life foundation. It was giving you security. It is like a temple or a building with two key pillars.

When your partner is gone one of the pillars disappears. This is why you need emergency resources to deal with that.

Usually, your physical survival is not threatened. You have usually enough food and shelter.

What is missing is emotional security. You feel a gap.

This is why your mind and life need to speed up to tap into new resources.

This challenge can actually be one of the most empowering moments in your life. It is a period where you can realize deep truths about your life and yourself and simply tap into resources you did not even know you had.

This is why I am excited in working with you during such period.

I use the term excitemnet with total respect. Don't get me wrong, I am not excited if I see you in pain.

I am excited because I can see a whole line of potentials in you ready to wake up and be expressed.

This is what I want to help you with if you give me your permission.

Check these two links e-book or coaching sessions to find out more.

Take care and stay in touch

Francisco

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No need to isolate yourself!

If you just heard that your girl friend is taking off, simply connect.

There is now a total break up support service and structure available on vitalcoaching.com

You get targeted help, a safe environment to share your story, the "how to get your power back after she break up" e-book and so much more.

This comes from someone who has already been helping hundreds of men in break up situations.

There are key strategies to get your life back and I can share with you all the tips and ideas to make your next step work.

What these sessions give you is clear: extra power.

I support you in taking action and keep you focused in the moments you need it.

Sign in is very simple.

Direct help is available within less than 24 hours. Even fatser if I am online.

Check this link:

Break up coaching

to see how it works

Take care and take the step. You're worth it!

Francisco

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The truth is that life is calling.

I know exactly how it feels to have the person you love take distance from you.

Many guys I know stay in emotional pain and turmoil for far too long, waiting for a miraculous hand to take them out of this situation.

It is your life and you are the one in charge.

Wanting to recover fast is natural and healthy.

You don't have to punish yourself, her or your relationship.

Staying isolated only attracts negative attention for a while and after that, even your friends tend to give up.

It does not need to be that way.

You can fight your battle and do what it takes to get your power back in no time.

What does it take? A real awareness shift!

You need to realize that your life is under attack.

You want to tap into your survival skills and defend your territory.

These survival skills are instinctual.

They are part of your being and you need to wake them up.

The moment you do, you tap into what you could call emergency resources and wake up a new set or power in your being.

This is your life. Don't waste months or years staying in an emotional no man's land.

Sure, share and mourn for a few days. Take a week to digest and then, start looking into your future.

For more check this link

How to get your power back after she breaks up

Take care and stay in touch

vitalcoach

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Okay, what I am going to say is radical. The truth is that half measures do not work with break up recovery.

You have two options:

The first one is to nurture her memory. You can go to therapy and spend hours talking about the way she made you feel. You can spend months trying to understand why she did it. After a while, all your friends will run away. They will use words like pathetic and loser when they talk about you.

The second option is to get your full power back.

A break up is a battle situation. It is a crisis. You have been invested in this girl for months, maybe years. After you break up, you keep on giving. You get back nothing.

Your whole mind set needs to shift and be repolarised to one single priority: you.

There is no soft approach here. She is in your mind and it is killing you. It is a self destructive spiral which annihilates your life.

Why? Because she is in your mind.

More! She has power over you.

You are not master of yourself anymore.

What you want is a new mind set. The old mind set of the victim or looser is killing you. You want to defend your life, your territory.

How to do that? You radically shift the way you stand in it. Wake up your survival instinct and get over it.

When you are not over it, you are under it, right? Being under means carrying a useless weight which drains you and takes away your strength. Why is that happening? You have no power. In fact, she does.

Here are some key mind sets you need to wake up in you. These are survival strategies. They are not optional. If you don't apply them, your are dead!

• You are not a victim, you are a winner. In fact this break up might be the best thing which ever happened to you. Put it this way: you are free!
• She is gone and gone forever. You won't get back together. In other terms don't hope she'll change her mind. If you meet her by coincidence, don't see this as a secret sign that you two are meant for each other!
• You don't need her. This is an illusion. You are perfectly fine with or without her.
• You will meet new girls. Right now, she does not deserve the attention your give her .
• Alcohol or drugs does not help. Getting drunk is the worst thing you can do. Drinking does not give you your power back. In fact it does exactly the opposite.
• You owe her nothing! A relationship is a temple with two pillars. If she takes off, consider yourself 100% free. Let it totally collapse. It's not your responsibility anymore.
• What she does is none of your business! You might believe you have rights? you don't! Simple as that. She does what she wants, when she wants, with whoever she wants. You have no control over that!
• Get real! There are many reasons she did what she did. Most of them have to do with fulfilling her own needs. Get real about who she is and what she wanted. Don't defend her.
  
  Again, in a break up situation, you need to wake up your power and see this as a battle for survival. Soft approaches don't work! It is a waste of your precious time.
  
  You have the power to force yourself into a new mind set. This new mind set gives you freedom, space and instant recovery. Sure, you won't get all the negative attention from friends and family.
  
  The question is: what do you want?
  
  This is about your own survival.
  
  Do what it takes to express your full power.

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