I often see women engaging in the dating scene with lots of undigested luggage.

Most of the time, this luggage is the result of abusive past relationships, a cheating event, a challenging break up or divorce.

You need to clear your mind and realize that what happened with one man is the past.

It does NOT reflect how most men are

Guys are great!

They are fun!

They are interesting!

You love them!

That's the general attitude you want to project!

You want to express the fact that you enjoy the company of men and you feel great and confortable when you are around them.

See how it works?

If you appear bitter or angry and express that through your tone of voice, body language or over agressive attitude, you will of course miss many chances.

Guys won't respond to you because they will feel threatened by you.

So, again... Clear whatever negative emotions are still undigested and realize that men love you.

They want to be with you if you want to be with them.

Of course don't be naive and keep your protective strategies handy but assume that men are on your side and want the best for you.

Enter the love scene with a good reserve of love, not anger or frustration.

Enjoy!

Absolutely! But not straight away.

Here is how a relationship builds up:

• Stage 1: Build up complicity, fun, chemistry
• Stage 2: Getting committed and exclusive with each other
• Stage 3: Build a life together

When you are at stage 1, you are still exploring if you are good match.

Many guys don't like the idea of talking about commitment when they don't even know you.

It is jumping too fast.

Serious "Us" conversations come later, after you already met for a few dates and it is clear that your mutual life plans seem very similar.

Remember that wanting children or not can be a deal breaker in a relationship.

It can be a major point of agreement or disagreement and bringing it too soon can destroy the magic instantly.

Focus on building up a good connection first and stay on this romantic mood for now.

Keep serious discussions about the future and key life choices for later, ok?

What if your biological clock is ticking and you can't waste time? What do you do?

Well, give yourself at least a couple of dates with a guy.

In the conversations you have, you will see occasions to ask undirect questions about life choices.

You can mention a pregnant friend and see how he responds to it.

The key is to not put him on the spot!

If he feels this sudden responsibility and pressure projected on him, you might really scare him off, even if you two are a good match.

Enjoy!

There is nothing shallow or cheap about being sexy.

This is the first association to delete in your mind.

Sexy! Strong! Beautiful! Smart! Attractive!

... are all positive qualities!

You can develop a sexy attitude you really enjoy and play with it to create what you want.

Being shallow, slutty, vulgar, loud are the other extreme, right?

These are the real turn offs.

So, choose the qualities that make you attractive and don't get mixed up.

Guys ARE attracted to sexyness!

That's a quality women envy that gives you a solid advantage in any social situation.

You can chose exactly how sexy you want to be of course.

The key is:

Don't hide your feminine beauty!

Be sexy and beautiful!

Labels: being sexy

I know this is a dilemma for many women?

What works best in attracting a guy you fancy?

Showing kindness or behaving like you don't care?

Is it better to play hard to get or tell him directly that you like him?

Honestly, any of these attitudes can work and get a guy attracted to you.

What doesn't work is when you express these attitudes but appear VERY uncomfortable or needy.

These are the turn offs.

I see women stimulating attraction in guys through very simple acts of kindness.

They might make a cool compliment to a guy they never met.

They will offer help if they see him lost in a city.

He will see them responding politely to an old lady or a child.

All these acts of random kindness say something very special about you.

And yes! It can be one of the key attractive attitudes you can express with any guy, especially when they know you didn't have to.

There is a way of freely giving which makes you very attractive.

The key is to own that behavior and expect nothing in return.

You can express kindness without losing your edge.

What happens next can be pure magic and create instant connection with those around you.

Enjoy!

The key is to give and committ only when it is clear that he reciprocates that love.

You get hurt when you give too much and don't get back enough.

Here are situations where you might give yourself away and get back nothing in return:

• You fall for a guy who is already taken.
• You fancy a colleague at work but he has no intention of dating you.
• You fall for your personal trainer at the gym.
• You have a crush on your best friend.
• You have high expectations about a guy you met once but he never returned your calls.
• You committ to a guy who lives on the other side of the planet, promisses everything but takes no action to be with you.
• Etc.

All these situations have something in common: attraction goes mainly one way.

Yes! Falling in love can be like an addiction that consumes you.

If you want to win the dating challenge, you need to tame your passion.

Love and passion are beautiful and exciting forces in you!

Now, if you feel enslaved by your passion and it actually makes you misrable, something is wrong.

Gaining back control means taming that power and giving it direction consciously.

It is really like surfing the waves in the sea.

Waves have an amazing power!

They are fun and refreshing but can as well crush if you are not too skilled at navigating them.

With love and romantic emotions, the same applies.

No pain at all is needed in your love life.

You can surf the waves of your passion and dating life IF you develop the skills to tame this fire.

How does it look like:

• You consciously drop it when a guy does not return your call.
• You reason yourself and realize that your personal traner is in fact VERY kind with any woman not just you.
• You let go of wanting to have a relationship with that guy who is already married.
• You lower your romantic expectations about this guy you met online.
• Etc.

See how it works?

Keep your mind clear and head for what makes you REALLY happy and excited.

True! Dreaming, fancying and crushing on a guy IS exciting by itself.

Sometimes it doesn't even need to be "real" for it to give you a boost of energy and thrill.

Simply stay awake and watch your emotions.

If you feel that any aspect of your romantic fantasies turn against you, take back the control seat and give them direction.

You win, always!

To your love life!

A man can put you in the friend zone.

He will call you, be flirty and when the natural flow would call for a romantic kiss, he does nothing.

This can happen because he is either shy or insecure.

It can happen as well if he sees you as friend rather than girlfriend.

If he does not initiate intimacy and seems uncomfortable when you do, he's definitely putting you in the friend zone.

What to do?

You can either let go and focus on other guys or try to increase your value in his eyes.

Here are a few elements that will make him more attracted to you:

• He sees that you are prequalified by other men and other guys like you.
• Your life is exciting and you appear independent and happy.
• You know how to be sexy and flirty.
• You are socially active and are in touch with a whole network of interesting people.
• You know how to take care of yourself and live healthy.
• You have ambitions and are very creative within a fascinating career line.
• Etc.

All these elements ad "value" in his eyes.

The interesting part is that all these qualities can be consciously increased and developped.

If you feel you don't "score" high enough in his mind, start taking steps to increase this social value.

You might be amazed to see him radically shifting the way he relates to you.

By the way, adding value in some of these areas is not just a one time step.

It is a long term consistent focus to be better in that field and does build up the "attraction" factor in you.

It can easily take 1 to 3 months to actually gain a few points in one of these areas.

Stay focused and follow up on your strategic steps!

To your love life!

Labels: does he like me?, understand guys

Sometimes, you say something lightly that offends him.

He takes it personally.

Yes, this can happen.

A guy can as well lose interest and realize that what you two are experiencing is not exciting enough for him.

In so many cases, though, guys will stop communicating because they have other options or are busy with something else.

It can be work, worries, health issues, an ex bothering him, etc.

If you are unsure, get in touch and we'll check it out within a quick coaching session.

Usually, within a few minutes, we can easily pin point what's going on in his mind.

Yes, it is super important to find answers so that there are no misunderstandings and you can shift dating strategies if needed.

To your love life!

Every day, I get feed back from women telling me how a simple attitude shift had a massive impact on their life.

It can be taking the risk to casually ask a guy out.

It might be changing an attitude at a first date.

It could mean relaxing when he did not return a call and letting him initiate contact.

You have dozens of positive strategies you can express within your dating life.

Many of these patterns even though they are so simple, can radically change the way a man sees you.

I want to congratulate you for taking the steps you take, for following up on these strategies and basically getting results!

You deserve to be loved and I am sincerely touched when I see a woman going for it fearlessly.

It's YOUR love life!

WIN!

This has to do with social skills.

When a man hears you complaining a lot, he sees someone who struggles and is unhappy.

He feels this in you and by being with you he picks it up.

What uplifts you more? Being with someone who is radiantly positive or someone who seems very stressed and totally unhappy?

See how it works?

When he hears you complaining or criticising a lot, he sees someone who is difficult to be with.

Shift that pattern and start expressing positiveness! It will multiply your chances with guys!

To your love life!

PS: positiveness doesn't need to be shallow. You know that, right?

If you have been searching for the right guy for a long time and don't seem to find him, you probably are disqualifying them too soon.

Why?

Because what they express doesn't match your high expectation romantic dream.

Sometimes, this ideal picture you have in mind simply does not manifest.

So, lower your expectations and give the new guy a chance.

Go on a few dates.

Dare to shift the way you look at some of his "flaws" and realize that he is just human and still VERY lovable.

To your dating power!

Friends can be VERY possessive.

You might have a female friend who steals all your chances or systematically disqualifies all your suitors.

Why would a "friend" do that?

Because you are in fact competing with each other and the atention that you will give to a new man in your life is all the attention she won't get from you.

To your beauty and magical charms!

Be flirty and sexy.

In other terms, play the game!

Guys get turned on when they recognize your beauty, radiance and feel sexually attracted to you.

The main mistake you can make in the dating world is wanting to be loved but not expressing the qualities that make you attractive.

You can do a quick checklist with who you are and what you offer.

Check your qualities one by one:

Attractive or not attractive?

If it is not attractive, get rid of it and replace it with something that is.

If the thing you find unattractive are physical features you can't change, learn to love them and guys will love them to.

To your radiance and beauty!

Of course, that's something your deserve.

Let me ask you a question:

Who are you?

You say "Love me for who I am" but who are you?

Suppose that there is an aspect of your personality neither him or you like.

Suppose you are not really outgoing or communicative for instance.

He misses emotional intimacy and so do you.

When you say "Love me for who I am", what you are saying is:

"Even though there is something there I could be better at, I don't know how to change it and therefore I want you to accept me exactly the way I am."

The thing to realize is that the dating world is a competitive environment.

If a man does not recognize in you qualities he can embrace on the long term, he will look for these qualities somewhere else and eventually date another woman.

I know... There is something unfair about this but it is simply the way it works.

You will do EXACTLY the same with guys.

Maybe half of the men you meet are instantly disqualified in your mind because of some aspect of their personality, appearance or behavior.

EVERYBODY does that.

So, the dating world is CHALLENGING because it forces you to be at your best.

If being who you are gives you what you want, that's great!

If it doesn't, tap into something called CHANGE!

When you change you don't betray yourself, it's more like puting a new top.

You integrate new skills and ad a new edge to your personality.

It is still YOU! right?

That's all!

This is something I see women frequently do:

They come up with demands, make it difficult to date them or behave in very agressive or even abusive ways.

They then are surprised when the guy they are interested in stops returning or initiating calls.

Guys want to have fun.

They want to be happy and have a good time when they are with you.

If the feelings they get after seeing you are mixed, then of course, they won't encourage contact with you.

If you are fun and exciting to be with men enjoy your presence and come back to you.

It's logical of course.

If you see a guy and he stops returning your calls, ask youself these simple question:

Was it fun last time we met?

Is there anything I did that was a turn off?

In many cases, a guy can lose interest because of many other reasons, but the demand, abusive behavior or unwanted complication can play a major role in how much a guy gets attracted to you or not.

Remember that next time you think of puting pressure on him.

To your power!

Jealousy and controlling attitudes from your partner can be super abusive.

The moment this happens, it can make your life miserable.

The first question to ask yourself is:

Is his jealousy justified or not?

Suppose that you are in a committed relationship and that you cheat on him.

His reaction justified jealousy. You are betraying the exclusiveness aggreement that you have with him.

On the other hand, if he systematically questions your behaviors, verbally attacks you without reason or engages into self pity and insecure discourses, that's unjustified jealousy.

In 95% of the cases, jealousy is unjustified.

Partners feel jealous not because of something real but because of what could happen if...

They imagine things that don't exist.

If your partner is in that category and wants to limit you, you have the right to defend your space and freedom.

When you enter in a relationship, you are not saying: "From now on, I give you the right to tell me what to do."

No, what you are saying is: "I want to partner with you because we are a good match and I want to stay in charge of my life."

See the difference?

So, when a partner tries to limit you without reason, it is your right to defend yourself.

Your right for self determination and freedom is actually one of your most basic human rights.

If your partner tries to limit you, he robs you from one of your most basic rights as a human being and abuses a power you didn't even give him.

You need to educate him!

Here are a few strategies you can use:

• Reassure him - Sometimes that's all he needs - "I love you and have no intention of cheating on you..."
• Strengthen your boundaries - "I don't remember giving you the right to tell me what to do"

Educating him is a big chunk!

It can take lots of focus and consistency + It can really feel exhausting.

Actually, many women break up with their partner over this type of jealousy or insecurity issues.

If your partner is in that category, you might really wonder if it worth even trying.

If you date a guy who is more emotionally mature, your relationship gets way easier!

So, yes... If educating him bears little results, stepping out might be your next logical option...

To your power and total happiness!

Take your time!

There is no rush.

If you meet a guy who is really in a hurry, then he might not be the right one to unveil your virginity.

I encourage you to nurture this as much as you can.

Create complicity and harmony before you engage into sex with anyone.

The best way to go is to take small steps.

You engage into light intimacy until the next steps naturally unfold.

This progressive build up will gives you space to create complicity with a man you are attracted to.

Take your time! That's the best way to go!

When you start dating a guy, it is not enough to simply hang out.

If you are dating and having a great time, then your can skip this article, ok?

Now, if you face some rising boredom with the guy you date, you can start stretching what you do together and engage into new types of activities:

• Do some training together - Go for a jog!
• Take a road trip.
• Get him involved in your social life.
• Have a challenging discussion on a specific life topic.
• Dive in sexual exploration.
• Etc.

This is one of the key life skills you can develop.

Giving an edge to your dating life takes a bit of focus and follow up.

Another option is to find someone else with who you feel a better match.

If you discover that you are serial dating without finding what you look for, it probably means that something else is missing.

Take a yoga class or do a meditation course.

What you are looking for might be on the inside, not the external expression of your relationship with a man.

To your power and happiness!