The core is personal power! - 5 min
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How to reach your goals without the support of others - 5 min
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We moved to our mid-sized town 6 years ago, our two children are in primary school and I am a housewife. We simply haven't made any friends here. I have joined groups, helped out at school and with local organizations and taken day/evening classes. I've invited people for lunch and dinner, had dozens upon dozens of children to play at our house and helped lots of people when they needed a few hours childcare or other support. Hardly any of this has been reciprocated.

My husband works very long hours, so he can't really contribute much. So, we have no social life, I have no one locally I can call a friend and - worst of all - my kids have hardly any social life either. (My children are polite, well behaved and fairly popular at school, so they aren't causing the problem.)

I know for sure that other people have good social lives and that their kids do too. The only time we make it on to the "A" list is when people need someone to look after their kids for a few hours. Sadly I keep saying yes because I want my kids to have their friends back to the house as much as possible.

In the last couple of months I have become quite withdrawn and feel I can't bear to make the first move again, for fear of being rejected.

We can't move away, so I have to find an answer to this. I didn't have this problem before we moved here and (thank goodness) I still have many long-distance friends.

Somewhere I have gone really badly wrong, but I just don't know where. Can anyone help me work out what the problem might be and how I can try to solve it?

Thank you.

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Don't let this stop you

When you move into a small town like you did, no matter how hard you try in the beginning, you will be seen as an outsider.

You bring in something which can feel “different” to locals and that’s what they tend to naturally reject.

The main difference is simply that they have deeper roots in the area than you have.

If you move to a foreign country, this response can be even multiplied. People tend simply to be protective of their own space and territory. They simply don’t let you influence what they had in control till now.

People who travel a lot know this dynamic quite well and simply tend to mix with a community of expats. This community of expats becomes their social circle.

I think that what you are experiencing is something similar but on a smaller scale.

What to do? As you say: you tried everything. Congratulations with that. You did put out lots of good will and I am sure people got the message.

Now, instead of reciprocating your action, they are using you without giving anything in return. They simply do not validate what you are giving.

So, what to do?

Keep on participating on the local activities you started. If you repeat the message, it will eventually sink and you’ll become part of the community but in my opinion, it can take a few years. Do things because you want to, not because you expect something in return.

Another thing you can do is set up new boundaries. If your neighbor ask you to take care of their children, don’t always say yes, as if you had nothing else to do. Ask them as well for something every now and then when you need to: simply dare to ask: “Hey our lawnmower just broke up… Would you mind if we use yours today?”

This might challenge them but will send as well a clear message: It’s not just about taking… It is about giving as well. You have to educate them with that.

What I see happening behind the scene is simply a conflict of power. They are in charge and want to make you feel you are not.

I would definitely keep on insisting. Do not push them but don’t let them stop you. Keep on going the way you went with your activities and do not withdraw. Do not isolate yourself. On the contrary! If you respond to rejection by shutting down, you loose the “battle”.

Learn to create your own space and roots in that community.

You keep on doing what you want to do. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Do all this without expecting too much in return, but dare to ask when you need something from someone. Call another parent when you need an extra info about school. Keep on taking small steps like these.

Keep your other friendships alive as well. Email, cards, visits. This gives you another type of roots and support which does depend on your local community.

Connect with nature and the surroundings. That’s another way of truly establishing roots with a place. Go on hikes, explore and get to know the region.

When you have a chat with a local, tell them what you like about this town. That way, they’ll recognize that you “vibrate” on the same level.

When you start with something new, it’s natural to get rejected at first. Simply repeat the message and look beyond. You eventually strengthen yourself immensely. Use your conquering power with that, not to get validation from the locals, but simply to break through whatever is trying to limit you right now.

Truth / Rectitude - Gi

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Courage - Yu

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Benevolence / Compassion - Jin

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Respect / Courtesy - Rei

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Honesty / Sincerity - Makoto

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Honor - Meiyo

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Loyalty / Faithfulness - Chugi

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What do these values represent for you?

When and how do you apply them in your life?

Could you go deeper in applying one of these values in your life?

In what field would you apply it?

What would you do?

Why would you apply it?

How would it impact on your life?

How would it influence your relationship to others?

Strongly shift your mind if you have to.

Getting money means getting power. Money is a translation of business energy.

To get money, you need to play the game of the business world, follow the rules of marketing, promotion, etc…

In other terms, you need to market yourself. Come with a positive outgoing image and attitude.

• Be ready and prepared for interviews.
• Have a fresh attitude.
• Be positive and outgoing.

Here are three steps in the empowering process:

• Preparation
• Decision area. The interview space
• Follow up. Once you get the job

The follow up itself is what happens once you get the job or position…

Here are three follow up key qualities to focus on:

• Effectiveness
• “Clean” space
• Fresh attitudes

You function in a clear space by strengthening your core values and inner integrity. “The place” from where you function in life must be in accordance with the larger life purpose. It must be aligned with the needs of the larger human community.

Here are two key values to focus on:

• Respect of others
• Care and sympathy for all human beings on this planet.

Nothing is holding me back

I got your question about happiness. You visited vitalcoaching.com recently and posted a message.

Happiness is magical and I am sure you deserve more of it.

Apparently nothing is holding you back. All you need just now is some motivation and emotional fuel.

Having a desire in your mind is not enough. To make it happen, you need to make it a priority.

This is a clear shift and a clear decision to take. Happiness is a choice! Once you decide to go for it, nothing will stop you.

What is the most important thing for you just now?

Gaining clarity and focus towards your goal is accessible to you. All you have to do is become superconductive to life.

Doubts, fears, hesitations are closed doors. They are what holds you back. When you listen to your doubts and fears, you are holding back from life. You are feeding inaction and passivity. To break that cycle simply take action. Start by one small step. The first thing that comes to your mind.

You can be a renewed person within a couple of months. Action is what takes you from where you are to where you want to be. Trust and do it. Start feeding your goals!

Action is your friend! You love action!

Recognize an open door when you see one.

I wish to hear again from you soon

Enjoy!

Invest in yourself! You are worth it

Everything is energy in and around us. Some activities, behaviors, locations tend to drain us; some others pump us up. There are simple approaches to gain vitality and energy in your life. These techniques do work, but they do require some form of action on your side. This means that you have to invest at least some time into it.

I know our lives are busy. The only thing I can say is that you are worth it.

Happiness is magical and I am sure you deserve more of it.

Not much is required from you to make it happen. Simple key shifts in your daily habits can do wonders.

The first step for you is to take action and gain new understanding and new skills. The second step is to invest at least time and energy into finding what you are looking for.

Here are some simple solutions we could work on together

Isolate the problem and break it in small parts

When you isolate the problem and you break it in small parts, you bring the challenge to a size you can handle. By doing that you can clarity and focus and find options to handle the challenges one by one

Choose the best strategy

Once you write down you options, you choose for what you feel is the best approach. Often a solution is a combination of actions and you will breakthrough by tackling the problem from various sides

Take action

In most cases action is needed to breakthrough. Taking action and following up is the key.

Learn from it

Is there a way to avoid facing the same problem in the future? What can be done to prevent this from happening again. Are there any new skills you have to learn? Understand the dynamics of what happened.


Enjoy!

Get fit - I don't have time

When you say: "I have no time", you are in fact saying: "I have other priorities".

This is fine. It is okay. We all have very busy lives. The trick to create time is to block space in your agenda. Make a choice, like twice 1 one hour somewhere in the week.

The second step is to focus on a way of exercising or training which is fun, exciting, social, energizing, etc. The fun aspect of training is essential. If your training is purely based on discipline and long term goals, forget it, it won't work.

To succeed, exercising must be fun and flow naturally for you. Surround yourself with people who train. Get to meet new friends and make training a more social event. Give yourself a teat or do something together after training. That way, motivation will double.

Enjoy!

I would like to move

I would like to move to Montana and live and work there. I have a family; husband and 4 children. I do not know what it really is like living in Montana after living here all my life but I would like to live a completely different life than the one I live. My husband could possibly transfer with his job but I would have to get one there. I do not know how to start living a dream and I don't want to change everything and find out it was a mistake. We are not rich so it would be a big challenge. How does one move totally across country and do it right?

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The best is to take a small step and go there first to check it out. Take a trip to Montana and see how it feels first. Establish contacts there. Ask lots of question to the locals. Visit real estate agents. Do all that in a non committed way, simply to gather key information.

Sometimes you are in a period in your life where you want to change something. Changing location can be the first reflex, but there could be other options.

Explore other "changing" options, like career and jobs, new life directions, putting some fresh energy in your relationship, etc. make sure that if you decide to move, you do that consciously because you know that it is what you want.

Take a white page and write down the 10 key elements you will find in Montana that you can't find in Louisiana.

When you know what you are looking for, it greatly strengthens your motivation and gives you a kick to go ahead and do it.

You are realistic and that's excellent. Don't lose it. Stay with your two feet on the ground. Estimate how much the moving will cost and how you will finance it.

Enjoy!

Simple, sign in for a one time coaching session.

I will give you support and show you how to do it.

I know what you are thinking: "too complicate, too expensive, too whatever..."

Doubts, resistance, hesitation!

See the dynamic?

I can help you but you need to invest at least some time, energy and money into it.

Motivation is an energy. It is priceless. Once you have it and know how to access it, you'll have this skill for the rest of your life.

I know, it's not always an easy equation to understand: Motivation does have a monetary value.

Consider coaching as a "life market" where you can literally "go shopping" for qualities like these?

Of course you have other options: Find motivation inside yourself, ask friends, wait until it comes, etc.

If you already tried these and it did not work, I suggest you try another strategy and see what happens.

You and I want the same thing.

What you want is to get results with a minimum of effort, time and energy. That's exactly what I want for you as well. I am 100% committed to it.

Now, take a second to imagine your space without clutter. Imagine how it feels. You get this feeling of satisfaction and achievement. Done!

You have now space, time and extra energy. It feels really good doesn't it?

I know, on the net, you come across lots of stuff. You are bombarded by a flow of propositions to buy products you often don't need. It is truly tough to sort out what is needed and what isn't, specially when dealing with professional marketers whose only goal is to push you to blind consumption.

Now, it is essential for you to use your discrimination.

If what you see in this message is just another marketing scheme, please, do run away fast! You have more than enough of that kind of stuff. My task is to protect you against stuff like that, not to make you a victim of it.

If on the other hand, you recognize in this message something "different" which is here to fulfill a real need with a powerful product, then go for it. The sooner you take action, the sooner you'll get results.

Now, what I want is simply to give you space.

How does that feel?

Francisco

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More on clearing clutter

Everything is made of energy. We have an energy or psychic link with absolutely everything we have around us. Every object and element in our personal environment impacts on our daily lives.

There are a few places you can start

Administration

Take this pile of unsorted bills and paper and sort them out. Throw away what you don't need.

Emails

Sort your inbox. Create folders for what you need to keep. Organize and delete.

Clothing and personal stuff

Create space. Clear the past. Clean your personal environment. This will greatly clarify your mind.


Clearing clutter is a great way of freeing energy. Once you start, you feel this energizing and stimulating force. When you finish, you can almost touch the clarity you created.

Take steps. This will greatly clarify your mind and prepare you for enjoying more the present and the future.

Change something in my environment

Your personal space is yours. Did you know that it's one of your basic human rights to have some for of control over your environment.

Do you feel like you live in the wrong place, or is it your personal space which gets invaded?

Whatever your situation, it is your right to do something about it. It takes extra power and energy to unblock situations.

Why? simply because environments are crystallized. They simply stay the way they are unless you go and do something about it.

Some aspects of your environment are beyond your zone of influence: this goes for the general context you are in: nature, your city, etc. You ca shift small aspects of it but it is usually beyond your control because it does not belong to you.

You can however make a real difference in the space which is yours. Suppose you own a house or live in a flat. It is your right and within your power to change your personal space so that it fits with your needs.

Every time you want to change, you need extra energy, extra power to break through.

You are the designer of your environment. You are the architect of your personal space. If you don't like something, change it! It is your right. Wake up your power and do it.

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Something is resisting in me

The first step is to identify what is resisting in you.

• Fear?
• Doubts?
• No clear idea or strategy?
• Not sure of what you want?
• Etc.

Resistance is very natural when wanting to change something. Why? Because change generates stress on your system. It generates pressure. The integration of something new, new energies, new ideas is always something you have to take inside and integrate in your own terms.

This integration part requires extra energy and focus. Sometimes you simply don't have the time or energy to invest in it, so you often let it go instead of doing something about it.

From the moment you are born, your mind is being conditioned (Nothing scary. It is positive and just happens for everyone). This conditionings are your thought patterns, behaviors, attitudes, emotional reactions, etc.

When you want to break through and free yourself from an old conditioning, you need extra energy and extra power. It is quite natural. When something new wants to take place, something old has to be dissolved.

Enjoy!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

More about change and renewal

I have a lot of sources of information, but i just can not find the time to use it to change my life how can I organize my time to do these vital things that i like to do i spent most of my time working?

I know, it's tough sometimes to find out where or how to start. The best thing is to take small steps. Even if you have just 5 minutes in the morning or 1 hour in the week end, that's where you can start.

It takes a bit of practice to see where the flow of life force can take you. You have 5 minutes right now? I can show you step by step how you can do it:

Take a white page

What is the number one thing you want to ad or change in your life? Just one simple thing... Write it down.

Now, if you have only 5 minutes a day or 1 hour in the week, what steps can you take in that direction.

My advice is do not focus on discipline. Rather go for fun, enjoyment, energy and life force. Something that truly makes a difference and makes you life better.

I believe that you can put aside 5 minutes in the day. The real challenge is to breakthrough what you believe are your limits. There are no limits, only the ones you accept.

If you want to get angry with me right now for saying that, it's fine, no problem. Anger is a form of frustration, your fire wanting to breakthrough.

That's my role. I challenge you to look beyond. The technique is one step at a time.

You tell me where you want to go. I'll help you get there. You are in charge! You are in power! You are the designer of your existence.
Enjoy!

Francisco

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

How to change my life

How to change my life into successful future. I feel I am not lucky at all

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When you look for happiness in the long term, it is essential to start by small steps. Start by doing one thing that makes your really feel good. Think of something which is healthy and energizes you.

Here is an idea: first thing in the morning, wake up and stand up in front of the window and breathe in deeply. Close your eyes and breathe in and out consciously ten times, slowly, no rush. Just do that. It takes you one minute. Then forget about it for the rest of the day. Following morning do it again. So on for a week.

Second week. Keep the same practice and add 5 new practices, like having one peace of fruit in the day, giving at least one compliment in the day to a person you love, etc.

Third week. add another 5 practices. That way you have ten daily habits which stabilize your day into a positive direction. This is where I would start: the foundation.

Success is an accumulation of small steps. A long journey starts with a little step. What is that simple next step for you? You see it? Don't think too far, just do it, start moving. To gain success, you have to take action. Start moving and taking little action, you'll see that soon this timid stream of action can turn into a powerful river. Let go of your doubts, just start!

Enjoy!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Mind reprogramming

The expression “mind reprogramming” itself sounds like an experiment from Star Trek.

In fact, reprogramming is very close to us. It is in our genes. It is a natural instinct, a natural drive to look for perfection by integration of new mind patterns.

Reprogramming is not an option! It is a condition for survival.

As human beings we have no choice but to adapt. We have to change, shift, integrate new behaviors, new mind patterns.

Stepping into the future is quite thrilling. In fact, any time we have a glimpse of our true potential, a window of futuristic visions opens in us.

The magic of change, the dynamic through which we integrate a new mind pattern is a great mystery. Luckily, most of us are still somehow able to consciously do it: we learn, grow and expand our awareness. A lot of what is studied in the cognitive sciences evolves around understanding this integration mechanism in us.

Life is a complex phenomenon. The same forces which gave birth to our human bodies, gave us as well the ability to expand the limits of our minds. The stream of evolution is limitless. We might perceive some milestones along the way. We might as well have a clear vision of the very ultimate result of our human evolution.

Our intuition is a powerful ally in this initiation process. Feelings, impressions, common sense: our mind is an interactive tool!

Inspiration is the fuel… “in–spiration": Taking the spirit inside, breathing in the life force. Magic! This inspiring stream is what stimulates the inner move.

We can try to rationalize all that but at the end, it all comes to trusting and daring to take steps: we advance by feeling. Feeling is the inner sense of touch. We take one step forward, hold it there for a second, listen, and get a feeling and impression - literally an internal “blueprint”.

This is how evolution happens: trying, experimenting, discriminating and naturally selecting what works and what doesn’t work.

Stepping forward means going beyond the comfort zone. There is always a “risk” involved. This risk can be minimal when the move is only a small step.

Try! Experiment!

Freezing your moves, projecting doubts or fears on any of your actions is equivalent to killing your life force. Evolution has its own pace, its own rhythm. Take the step! Go with the flow!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Identify and eliminate top resistances

I am not sure I can do it

If you are not sure you can change or take action, ask yourself these questions:
What are all my options? Take a white page and write down all your possible options

Amongst these options, which one is the easiest?

What is the level of urgency for you taking steps?

What is the real risk for you taking steps?

What would is take you to be successful?

Are you missing any skills, key information, resources or support?

What are they?

Where can you find it?

What is your desire telling you?

What is your instinct telling you?

Sometimes, something deep inside you knows that there is only one option. The only thing you need then is an energy or motivation kick to start moving. Is this the case for you?

Enjoy!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

No way!

No way! You can 't change in life without at least giving it some focus and attention. This means that you need free energy. You need time and space and often some resources as well.


Don't give yourself some attention once everything else has been fixed in you life! Give yourself first! You are priority number one! Your well being and happiness impacts on the totality of your sphere of influence. Job, family, friends, environment. You are radiating the waves of your emotional state to all those who surround you. You impact! Your well being is a source of freshness and happiness which reverberates and influences everyone.

But do it for yourself first! Your body and mind are your 2 greatest assets. Put priorities in the right order.

At least 10% of your time, energy and resources should be focused on perfecting yourself, your being, your mind. It should be invested in this sphere you call you! You decide how and when you invest but take the steps! Don't hold back from giving it to yourself! You owe it to your being. Whether you go for some exercise or decide to take a cruise to the Bahamas does not really matter. The important is that you give yourself this treat, this reward for having performed and succeeded as a human being. It is simple: invest in yourself! Nurture your life and your being! Do what it takes to feel good, live good, enjoy to the most!

The idea that you wait for life to give you its blessing and you take no step yourself is wrong. Blessings come as a result, a side effect of the love and care you give to yourself. If you think you are not worth it, this is how life and people will think about you as well. Love is an open door. It is a stream of life force you let radiate in all directions and direct to some extent on yourself as well.

You are part of this sphere of love and care and you deserve to receive the benefits of it as well.

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Change

Change is an exciting adventure. Every time you engage into a renewal process, you shift patterns and stimulate life in your system.


There is challenge and exploration and risk and thrill in it.

Going from where you are to where you want to be is thrilling! It is an exciting experience which moves you forward and brings life and energy into your system.

When you are sitting back and simply comforting yourself in a crystallized unhappiness, you are cheating yourself and others on your true presence and what you really have to offer.

What's the point of being just half of who you can be, simply because you are afraid of getting wet and going with the flow.

Resisting life drains you. It drains you being and makes you unhappy.

How do you change? By saying yes when opportunities arise, by saying yes to life in and around you. By saying yes to opening up to your real potential.

You can't cheat with life and with yourself. Taking action should be your priority number 1.

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Resisting change?

Change means one simple thing: risk, exploration.

This is why you do sometimes resist change. The effort of going and exploring a new territory is a move you can't always afford.

You know that next door, there might be a best situation waiting, you still hesitate taking the step.

Why? Your present mind state is your comfort zone. This mind state might not be perfect; it is still your mind.

This inner landscape contains a set of thoughts, behavior patterns, etc. You know them very well. This inner architecture of beliefs gives you a sense of security. It is like walking into your kitchen to prepare a drink... The fridge, glasses are here on the left, etc.

You don't want to lose that sense of security, so you stay in the explored territory of your mind.

A mind pattern is like a road you walked thousands of times. You know it so well, you could walk it with closed eyes.

When your intuition tells you about another land, another territory to conquer, doubts or fears can often be the first emotional response.

This emotional response, this fear of losing security might block any further effort. This fear can be coming from you or it can be a projection from your environment, your family or friends. There is this voice saying: "Hey? Are you sure you are up to it?"

Three ingredients can play a significant role in gaining change:

Deep dissatisfaction about your present state

This is a great motivator. "I had it with that situation!", "I just want something new!"

Securing the new path

Knowing more about a new life direction can give you a sufficient sense of security. This might be enough to clear your doubts. Talking with people who "did it before" is a great motivator.

Exploring spirit

This need to go beyond the "final frontier" is part of the human spirit. We are curious beings always looking for the new. There is a natural instinct to grow and expand. Change is part of that growth. Expanding the limits of your mind is a natural need.

With anything which concerns change, the idea is to be very specific. Talk about what you want to change. Say it! Write it down! When your vision is clear, taking action becomes much easier.

Change is an investment! Somewhere your mind is calculating this life equation: "Is it worth it?".

Change can often require a conscious decision. Did you already take that decision, or are you still hesitating on your door step?

Drastic change is not always a wise move. The choice is always in your hands and there is no shame in simply being satisfied with a present state. The security of your comfort zone is a valuable base that you should not neglect.

I believe that understanding these underlying dynamics is already a big step. As a coaching client, the choice is always yours! As your coach I will help you move in the direction you want to move.

If you are not sure about what you want, we'll first clarify that and together find the answers you are looking for.

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Are you resisting change?

Hesitation is a very draining resistance in your life. It stands in the same line as irrational fears, doubts and other negative mind patterns.

Every time you hesitate, you feed doubts, and simply stop life from happening. Your whole being resists life endlessly simply because you are afraid of making the wrong choice.

You can as well be afraid of not having built enough inner energy to go ahead with your choice.

All that is human! Very human. You can live with patterns like these for years wishing things were different.

You are made of energy and any mind pattern which simply resist life drains your system. It's as if you were trying to gain speed and breaking at the same time. It's okay until one day you have enough of it and realize you can do better. Flow! Performance! Increased happiness!

When you try to change a habit or a mind pattern in you, you are faced with 1 direct form of resistance: resistance to change.

Why do you resist change? Because change is stressful. New forces and ideas manifesting in your life put you under pressure and force you to integrate new patterns and behaviors.

Most people who feel unhappy about their lives do actually nothing to change simply because of that: resistance to change: unhappiness is still a form of comfort in which one can relax. This comfort is not perfect but it is still less stressful than change.

So you choose for stable unhappiness rather than stressful change. Again... Human, very human!

Change requires free energy. You can't go for change if you have no time, space or energy to invest in it. Change demands investment, focus, attention, follow up, etc.

Rebuilding even a simple pattern in your mind is demanding and this is why you might simply postpone it endlessly. Taking steps would be too demanding. Your mind is not available. You have conflicting interests and your number 1 priority is somewhere else.



What do you do now?

Sometimes, a negative mind pattern becomes so destructive in your life that you decide to do something about it. At that moment, something magical happens in you: you take a decision!

You realize that changing requires time, energy and focus and you still go for it.

The force that moves you into a renewal and transformation cycle is very precious. It is backed up by ambition in you. This ambition is saying: "I want better", "I can do better", "I had enough of that". This ambition is your emotional fuel. It is the motivation which feeds you action.

The question is not what technique you will use, it is whether or not you will engage yourself into it.

You have the power of self determination! This is a gift but means as well that you are responsible for your own happiness. You are the one who decides and take decisions about your life.

You decide to move mountains or to stay where you are.

Are you the master of your emotions or are your emotions controlling your life? Who is in charge here?

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Can power kill the magic?

Yes, it can!... If you don't use it wisely.

Controlling forces can kill life power. They can annihilate inspiration and creativity. True!

Reasoning on everything can destroy spontaneity, trust and life flow.

Now, imagine for a second that you shift your power. Shift it from a controlling and limiting force to a protective power.

Imagine children playing in your garden. You can limit them, stop them with fear of them getting hurt or you can offer them a form of distant protection which will "secure" the environment they are in.

If you reached a point of "power saturation", then you will probably use the extra to conquer new "territories".

Power and the other forces in your mind are there to collaborate and work with each other.

Take the example of the artistic profession: it often happens that artists are very creative but miss the marketing skills to promote their art. This is what we could call the old fashioned way. You might be struggling to make a living and then say things like: "I hate marketing".

Marketing uses conquering power. Artistic expression uses creativity. With artistic expression, the term power is not really want comes first to mind. What happens is very simple: there is a rejection of power (I hate marketing) and at the same time, an incredible need for it (I'm broke).

You can see the dilemma.

In the artistic world, those who succeed usually collaborate with the marketing power in one way or another. They might create a website to promote and sell their work, or they might hire an agent to do their PR.

Power does not kill the magic, it protects it.

Power is an incredible force. If you aren't yet, get acquainted with it and develop the skills to use it wisely.

Too much control is boring, specially when projected on others. It is like cooking: only the right combination and proportions will create the perfect taste.

Forced to fight a war you don't believe in? - 5 min
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Taking action - Where to start?


If you want to take action, the best is to start with small steps. Initiative is a skill which can be built. To do that you have to slightly shift your mind frame and start thinking in terms of taking risks and action.

Fears, doubts, hesitation, perfectionism... All these hold you back from just going for it. Every time you sit back and hesitate, you feed your doubts and loose confidence.

The trick here is to aim for good rather than perfect and see any experience, any action as an opportunity to learn rather than something which takes you all the way to your goal.

The best way to get closer to your goal is to take a small step. This step might not be perfect, it still brings you closer to your goal.

Together we could check what your options are. You would quickly realize that what you see as a mountain to be climbed is actually a refreshing swim in a streaming river.

Next step? you decide!


Enjoy!

How do you feel about yourself, about your life?

Value your life!

What are the key qualities you want to invest in a friendship?

What are the key qualities you have to offer?

What does truly matter to you?

Invest the core of your being. Build friendships around what truly matters to you.

Market yourself... Even with friends. Simply be at your best.

What are the elements or aspects of your life, behaviors, attitudes, actions which vehicle a positive marketing image? Which elements reflect a negative marketing image?

Design your friendship... What are 10 qualities that represent or express your ideal friendship?

What is the larger picture behind relating?

What are you truly looking for?

Find answers before you start

Best practices for a winning mind

Are you sabotaging yourself with negative thoughts and feelings?

Are you tired of missing opportunities or letting yourself be taken in a negative belief spiral?

Having more power over what happens in your mind is a great challenge.

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Possible sources

Is your life revolving around negative patterns? Here are some possible causes:

Negative past experiences

Difficulties in your childhood. Feelings of failure. Negative professional or affective experiences.

Isolation

Lack of support in your environment, lack of love from family, friends. This includes as well lack of social recognition.

Negative perspective

You actually achieved a lot in your life but maintain a negative opinion of your successes. You forgot to celebrate your victories and moved by an inner drive, you created an “ambition tension” in your life. You are a typical overachiever.

Too comfortable

Your self limiting beliefs have become your comfort zone. Deciding to be happy means taking a risk. It is stepping beyond the limits of what you already know. You are not truly willing to take an opening step. You feel that your negative beliefs are your only protection.

“Success” is too much for me

Somehow, terms like success, achievement, victory, triumph, and accomplishment scare you. The idea of succeeding and being suddenly in the “front line” is a challenge you can’t face. You prefer not giving anyone the impression they could envy you. You feel more comfortable with keeping a low profile.

Already tried

You tried a few times to shift your mind and faced rejection from your environment. Or you might feel that your trials were not successful. Decided to give up.

“Happiness is silly”

Deep inside there could be this subtle belief that “happiness is silly”. You identify positivism with pink clouds and eternal spring. You simply don’t recognize or access the “power” and “refinement” dimension of happiness.

Not decided yet

You did not take a conscious decision to do something about it. You might not like the way your mind works but life still goes on. You did not reach yet this crisis point where you decide to do something about it.

Lack of success

It seems that life is not responding. You tried everything you can and still hit yourself on a brick wall. After son many unsuccessful attempts you start believing there is something wrong with you or your approach towards life.

Fatalist?

You might be fatalist and simply don’t believe that anything can be done about it.

Lack of resources

You might be ready but miss time, energy, financial resources. You might have other urgent priorities and can’t manage to set up time for yourself.

Too high expectations

Having too high expectations can put your life under tremendous stress. Trying to reach a distant goal can on the long term make you extremely dissatisfied and unhappy, generating a feeling of inner failure.

Yes but how?!!!

You want to shift your self-limiting beliefs but miss strategies, approaches, techniques, and external support.

Other causes


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External sources?

There can be clearly “external” causes to your self limiting beliefs. Your environment can definitely create a blockade and reinforce a poor self esteem.

Are there any external causes stimulating your self-limiting beliefs?

Here are some examples:

Someone is pulling you down

Is a close friend, a parent or your partner destroying your self-esteem? You might be willing to try new things but get systematically turned off by someone else’s negativity.


Negative context

Negative professional environment. Difficult home location. Etc.


Negative events in your life

Poor health, sickness or accident. Death of a loved one. Relationship crisis, separation or divorce. Etc.



Other causes

What do you need to organize?

Take a white page and write down your top 5 priorities.

How would you feel if these 5 key areas were flowing harmoniously without friction.

What is the value of having this done in your life?

What do you feel it takes to succeed with that?

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What is holding you back?

Is it lack of action?

Lack of focus?

Lack of skills?

Lack of motivation and energy?

Is it simply a pattern, habit or a way of doing things?

Is there any sense of urgency about changing your present situation?

Why is it important to do something about it?


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What are your possible options?

Where can you start?

What are 5 simple steps you can take today to get your life more organized?

What is your medium term vision (3 months) concerning your life effectiveness?


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Strategies, fun, thrill

Being disorganized has this kind of lightness, fun and spontaneous connotation to it.

Deep inside, being organized is sometimes associated with lack of life and fun.

The key is to organize your life without loosing its spontaneous touch.

When you do organize your life around a free structure which fits you, you create more freedom, enjoyment, and life satisfaction.


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It takes only 1 month to shift essential behavior patterns in you. The key is motivation and decision.

What you can create in your future is an environment which supports your dreams and desires. It is an environment which works with your rather than against you.

Imagine for a second that all the resistance and friction you might feel in your daily life is replaced by flow and effectiveness.

How much would this change your life?

How much longer do you want to wait before taking action?

Enjoy!

"Choice making" tips

If you can choose between freedom and limitation, go for freedom.

If you can choose between a rigid time frame and a flexible one, go for the flexible one.

Try giving a bit of attention to various fields rather than a lot of attention to just one field.

If you can't choose between two lines, choose for both alternatively if you can.

If you systematically choose for practicality, try choosing for pleasure, fun or beauty for a while.

If you usually choose for discipline, try freedom or excess every now and then.

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Shift your habits, shift your choices!

If you always tend to listen, try speech for a while.

If you speak too much, try listening.

If you spent the day inside, go outside for a while

If you eat fish today, try meat tomorrow, tofu after tomorrow.

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Simple... Shift habits!

Why, because you use your creativity, your imagination when you do so. You use your freedom, experience new things...

Consider and respect as many elements as you can in your choice making.

But say "stop" when your reach your limit.

If you can't choose between two possibilities, try looking for a third one.

If you can't jump into the water, just feel the temperature with your toe.

In other words if you can't choose for a big step, try a little step.

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Choice making questions

> Who are your reinforcers?

> What is the resistance?

> Where is this resistance coming from?

> What small steps can you take to test the waters?

> Do you have all the information you need to make your choice?

> Are you excited about your goals?

> What excites you the most about the future?

> Is it the right time?

> Are there any conflicting interests?

> Is it your destiny to go there?

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Practice self-confidence

Outdoor practice

These few days you are going to be in an environment that might be new. If you know it already, simply take this practice from where you are and practice self-confidence one step further.

Everything you start creating in this environment is new. Imagine yourself with just a blank mind space. You are now the creator who will decide what goes in it.

This is how you build your mind, your ideas, and ways of looking at what you do.

In front of such challenging environments like the mountains, you can have two kinds of thoughts.

• It is hard
• It’s dangerous
• Hope nothing happens
• What if the weather turns bad?
• Is this supposed to be fun?
• Etc.

Alternatively, you can have thoughts like:

• Wahoo!!!
• I have never been here but I feel at home.
• Love this stormy weather!
• It is easy.
• I love those challenges.
• Etc.

The first group of thoughts is self-limiting.

The second group of thoughts is self-empowering.

Why would you manifest self-limiting thoughts? They are natural reactions to fear and doubts. They are instinctual reactions. Your instinctual reaction creates an irrational response. You feel with your guts and just say the first thing that comes.

The thing is that instinctual responses can be trained. Think of the first time you took an airplane. You might have encountered a few limiting doubts about the safety of this 150 tons flying machine! (Yeah, right!).

Now, you simply take off and enjoy the ride, the movies, the delightful food and the good company!

Fear as a protection is great, but only when the danger is real! When the danger is not real, fear, and doubt limit you!

Self-empowering thoughts open space

They are freeing

They create fun in life

They make you more successful

They make your life easier.

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The practice

This outdoor event is an occasion to learn about those mechanisms.

• Observe your thoughts and feelings…. Simply observe your reactions to things.
• Imagine you are on stage. Hundred people look at you and surround you. Imagine you are in a play. Show the public your self-confidence.
• Create self-empowering beliefs. Consciously design some key thoughts and self-empowering beliefs.
• Observe the “try hard” attitude. Self-confidence can be practiced as a “try hard” technique. You try to convince your audience with fire, strong projection. This is the hard way. This attitude is demanding and requires constant focus, awareness and outpour of energy.
• Observe the “smart self confidence” attitude. “Smart Self Confidence” means simply being! You are centered and stable. You smile and your attitude is generous towards your surrounding. It is a key attitude for being on stage. If you are a public figure, this is your platform from where you can act and be.
• Use fire to kick out the self-limiting thoughts. Simply imagine it is like a challenge and fun.

These practices can be experienced when sitting and having a session with the coach. They can as well be experienced or remembered throughout the day.

What type of energy do you need?

• Physical energy?
• Mind space?
• Time?
• Resources?
• Free energy?

What would your ideal day look like, in terms of energy and vitality?

Where is the greatest energy drain in your system?

• Mind?
• Body?
• Location/ environment?
• People?
• Activities?

Do you believe your situation or the way you feel can be different?

What would you do to change your situation?

Strategies to energize:

• "Declutter"
• Strengthen your boundaries and protect your personal space
• Change your diet: eating, drinking habits
• Exercise, refresh
• Focus 100% on exciting and thrilling projects

What exactly do you feel?

• I feel isolated
• I have lots of negativity in me
• I wish I had a partner
• I had difficult experiences in the past
• I am in the middle of an identity crisis
• I hesitate too much
• I can't see meaning to my life
• I am facing difficulties with my profession
• I feel empty inside
• I am in the middle of a financial crisis
• I am angry with everything
• I have no real challenge

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What would you like?

• I just need to share with someone
• Ask some questions and get some free advice
• I want to change something in me!
• I want to change the way I feel
• I want to change something in my environment
• I want to change the way I act
• I need some simple techniques for my daily life
• I need to understand what is going on
• I am determined to take steps. Not sure what they are
• I would do anything as long as it works

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Do you believe things can be better?

Who can do something about it?

What would you do to make things better?

When can you start?

So, what about love?

Love is such a powerful energy!

It's clearing, opening, unifying!

Love is this incredible powerful motivator which gives you an immense sense of freedom.

Dare to love!

This message is not a return to "flower power".

Love is timeless and universal.

There is not a moment we will be done with it.

Why?

Because it is the guiding force which always takes you back home.

No need to overuse or overstate it.

I would rather set it free like a mysterious whisper.

It's in your core.

It's in your genes.

Love is this sacred substance which creates the perfect reaction.

In the alchemy of life, it is one you can't forget.

Enjoy!

Love and power

In my opinion, this is the real secret: the art of balancing up these two qualities in the right proportions.

Of course at the end you simply go for it and forget about these ideas. Life simply flows and it doesn't really matter what we call it. You might think that love and power are just two ways of naming a same substance. I agree!

This was a short one, don't you think?

Today's focus is on motivation.

Motivation is one of the great secrets of our mind. Motivation is emotional fuel. It is the starting point to any step in life. Having clear energy sources and motivation channels is one of the main keys to success.

Here are three direct ways to pump up your life:

Step 1: Focus on what thrills you!

Motivation is about excitement. To be motivated in life, simply focus on what thrills you.

If you face a motivation gap, focus first on your passion.

When you take action out of excitement, you build up emotional fuel, emotional reserves. When you prioritize life around what truly matters, you see your motivation rise in a very spectacular way.

• Are you excited about your goals?
• Are you doing this for yourself or for others?
• Let go of "shoulds"!
• Take a white page and write down 10 things you feel excited in doing.

Step 2: Identify what drains you

Everything in and around us is energy. Some activities, behaviors or locations tend to drain us; some others pump us up.

We are bombarded by millions of psychic impressions each day. Our being is a vast system digesting and integrating new energies every single minute.

Check your environment:

• Is anything draining your energy?
• It can a demanding partner who puts you down.
• It can be this colleague at work who does not respect you.
• It can be draining friends who feed themselves from your presence.
• Spend more time with those who believe in you and stay away from those who drain you.
• Design your environment to support your goals.
• How much more do you want to give up before you say: Enough! Develop clear boundaries and give when you want to give, not when you are forced to.
  

Build clear boundaries to protect your mind and personal space. Learn to say "No", "maybe", "Later, not now".


Step 3: Take action

Doubts, fears, hesitations are closed doors. They are what holds you back. When you listen to doubts and fears, you hold back from life. You feed inaction and passivity. To break that cycle, simply take action. Start by small steps. What is the first thing that comes to your mind.

• Aim for good not perfect.
• See any mistake as a learning experience.
• Shift your mind and start loving risk rather than avoiding it. "I love risk!" "Any challenge is an opportunity to grow"
• Action is what brings you from where you are to where you want to be.

Why does action give you energy? Because action gives you life. The moment you take action you manifest your natural life power and stimulate your body and mind. Action means life.

These were the tips for today.

Enjoy!

Stop negative thinking

Is negative thinking ruining your life?

Negative thinking patterns are these ongoing loops of thoughts which endlessly drain your energy.

They are cycles of guilt, anger, frustration, doubt, disbelief, etc. There is a pretty long list of limiting mind patterns like these ones.

You know how they work because you probably experienced them every now and then.

A "stop negative thinking" session is extremely practical and targeted. It is by phone one on one with your coach.

How do you get rid of negative thinking? You bring in more power.

The first goal of a coaching session is to give you the tools to tap into your natural sources of power. These sources are already in you and you can discover a simple system to access them. We apply these techniques to negative thinking because this might be your first need. This might be your present challenge.

How do you get rid of negative thinking? Here is what we do in a session:

Identify what you want: This is the first step. You discover exactly what your needs are and what you want to reach. You identify exactly the key mind pattern you want to target in this session.

Understand inner resistances: Negative mind patterns exist for simple reasons. You'll understand the dynamics of negative thinking and discover exactly what to do when you feel "attached" to these patterns.

Dissolve negative thinking: You have a natural resource in you: it is called renewal power. It is the force you use to delete what you no longer need in your life. You can observe this force at work in your environment when you throw away old things.

You have a similar type of force which works on your mind level and has the power to dissolve old mind patterns you no longer need. If you want to move forward, it is essential to create space and free energy. This is what you do when you dissolve negative mind patterns. In this "stop negative thinking" session, you'll get a simple technique which does just that.

Gain power: These sessions are geared to give you more power. It is first the power to protect your mind space.

In other terms, you empower your emotional foundation. Your emotional foundation is your core of energies. It is the foundation on which your mind rests. When you feel vulnerable and dissatisfied, it is related with a weak emotional foundation. When your emotional foundation is strong, you feel stable and secure.

There is a very simple quality in you which strengthens your emotional foundation. It is easy to tap into it when you know where to find it.

In a "stop negative thinking" session, I will show you a very simple technique which connects you with this inner source of power and stability. It is a natural instinctual resource you can strengthen effortlessly.

Positive mind design: your long term goal is to prevent negative mind patterns to appear in the first place. Discover the basics of consciously recreating your mind.

Key ideas: You'll discover a wide range of key concepts which help you understand how negative thinking works. We'll touch upon ideas like: Your inner defense mechanism. Instinctual responses. What is an energy sponsor? Your inner power architecture. What is mind power, body power and instinctual power? etc. you won't be flooded with complex concepts, simply offered some simple models to increase your understanding.

Life power: The key to successful power building is integration. You'll discover some simple dynamic techniques to make sure that both mind and body are vitalized.

As you can see, a coaching session is packed with tools and key ideas. The goal is that you get your needs met. So, you'll discover exactly what you need.

Once you feel empowered on an emotional or mind level, you know you can respond to opportunities and simply go for what you want. Doubts, hesitations and negative beliefs simply bounce on the surface of your mind. You feel confident.

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What are negative loops?

Negative loops are the visible part of an inner conflict.

It is the conflict between two energy realities: The first energy reality is you, your desires, wishes, will power, etc. The second energy reality is your environment, external sources of influence, negative past experience, etc. It is simply the force which stops your natural flow of power and life force.

When you solve this "inner conflict" by empowering your mind foundation, negative thoughts naturally disappear because you break through.

What we do in a coaching session is first identify exactly the forces at play in your unique situation.

The second step is to give you two easy to use techniques which stop negative thinking.

A third step is to build new empowering beliefs. This is part of the gaining power process. This means replace the negative mind patterns by positive ones. This is a very natural step. A negative mind pattern has no use. It is an anchor which stops you from moving forward.

The fourth step is to check for potential pitfalls and make sure you have all the tools you need to maximize your mind power in the future. This means clearing the way. You discover simple ways to prevent negative thinking from appearing in the first place.

What you get from a coaching session is extra power in very different forms. It is extra tools and techniques, understanding and free energy.

I offer you support and together, we create an empowering cluster of energy. This is why a coaching session is such a transformative experience. You create a new support network and break through limiting forces.


There is more! Much more. Power is such an essential aspect of your life. Within a single coaching session, you can discover simple tools you'll use for the rest of your life.

Here are some key extra benefits of increasing your power:

A stronger personal base: This is what we call emotional or mind foundation. It's the very core of your thoughts and beliefs. Power strengthens this core and gives you extra confidence and energy.

Tools to create healthy relationships with others: No more space invasion from others. Everyone benefits from clear and respectful boundaries. No more withdrawal of your own desires or needs. You find it easy to stand for who you are and what you want.

Negativity proof: what it means: you feel stronger psychically. No more rejection set backs. No more people impacting on you with negativity. It simply does not reach you anymore.

Higher energy level: Emotional fuel. There is no suppression of wants and therefore much higher vitality level. You feel energized by your actions, thoughts and interaction with others.

You go for it! Your conquering power is multiplied. Your break through fears, doubts and hesitations and empower your action stream. You trust life, trust yourself and trust your instincts. You find it easy to take risks and step beyond your comfort zone.

Now, simply sit back and imagine for a second how your life would feel if you had more of these qualities in it.

Understand that these are tools, resources and skills that you already have in you.

If you did not use them before, it might simply be because you went another way.

Something natural happens when you meet someone: it's called balance of power. It's an instinctual response which establishes a spontaneous exchange of energies between two people. If you did not use your natural power in the past it is often because you did not want to hurt anyone or simply did not realize it was your right to use it. On the long term, this attitude makes you smaller than you truly are.

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2 powerful, easy to use techniques which will stop negative thinking

I know what you think: "If these techniques exist, how come I did not find them earlier?", "If it's so easy, how come people still get trapped within negative thinking patterns?".

The answers are simple:

These techniques are new. I have been experimenting with them on myself for about 10 years. In fact they became so much part of my life that I almost forgot they were there. It is only 2 years ago that I have been confronted with client's situations where I thought: "Maybe this would work for others as well". I first started experimenting these techniques with other coaches and some friends. And it is now that this "system" is really mature that I offer it on the net.

As these techniques are truly the heartbeat of these coaching sessions, I decided to reveal them only to those who truly need them.

There are about 2000 free articles on vitalcoaching.com . Literally hundreds of tips and techniques you can get for free but with these new techniques, I take another road. Why? because I believe this is how you get the best results: Direct transmission of the technique within a coaching session.

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Why does negative thinking happen?

In a coaching session, we'll find answers to the most basic question: "why does negative thinking happen and what can you do to avoid it?".

Understanding and getting clear answers is part of the coaching and your long term success with gaining mind power.

You will discover new and refreshing perspectives on the hidden dynamics of your mind.

Solving negative mind patterns is one step. Giving you all the tools to prevent them from happening is the second step.

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In what situations can you use these techniques?

Here are some classical examples of negative mind states.


These techniques can be applied successfully in the following areas:

2. Fears, etc

3. Anger, etc

4. Negative thinking, etc.

5. Sadness, etc.

6. Guilt, etc.

Partially covered

1. Hatred, etc.

8. Identity crisis

Not covered by these techniques

7. Mental heath issues like depression, I would definitely recommend you visit a mental health specialist (Psychotherapist or psychiatrist)

I use techniques which are definitely on the empowering, self growth and mind power area. The key quality input is power. My first goal in a coaching session is to give you or help you tap into your natural sources of power.

Here are some classical life situations where these tactics will have the greatest impact:

• Dating success
• Divorce support
• Break up recovery
• Burn out
• Male identity crisis
• Social skills
• Etc.

Waking up your power happens first in your mind and you can use your new skills in almost any life situation. These techniques will simply give you a stronger base and the tools to tap at will in your inner natural sources of power.

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Why life coaching works

I love e-books but they have one limitation: They are static and don't respond to what you say. You still have to do all the work by yourself. Life coaching is different because it establishes a synergy (a greater energy reality focused on your goal). You get much more support, create momentum and energy simply by interacting with your coach.

What about forums or friends? Again, this is a great source of help when you want to break through something in your life or gain new skills. Now, Life coaching takes this to the next level. Why is that? because you interact with an expert. A coach is not someone who comes with general tips and advice. It's more than that: It's a system, a whole dynamic designed to wake up your deep potentials. You immerse yourself in a renewal stream conductive for specific life shifts. You truly connect with your unique line of evolution.

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Sign in for your first coaching session

Coaching is direct, user's friendly and super effective. Sessions are targeted to your needs and no time is wasted. My main expertise is helping clients get their power back.

http://vitalcoaching.com/coaching.htm

Dialogue

Create a Forum Space.

Renew, Refresh

Be open for new ideas, change. Think of modern trends, etc.

Spontaneity

Anything to break the habits. Respond to inspiration, to new streams.

Have "Relationship Ambitions"

Material, business, travels, discoveries, projects, etc.

Maintain a dynamic individual integrity

Maintain activities where you are not together with your partner. Keep space for "external friendships"... "Time off"... Allow it to happen and go for it, even if you might miss the other person during that time.

Refreshing Life Style

Take time to be in nature. Go out. Do something physical, sports, outdoors. Eat healthy.

Sex Life

Give attention to your sex life.

Create Romance, Flirt, Play.

There must be a place in the relationship where you can be like kids, young teenagers. Plan a romantic holiday.

Dynamise your social life as a couple

Go beyond family and usual friends. Be an "interesting" couple, a "generous" couple.

Have a harmonious material base

Live in a place you like. Healthy finances. Harmonious work/free time balance.

Powerful solutions in 8 steps

1 Isolate the problem

Break it into small pieces! One of the risks when problems arise, is to blow them up beyond proportion. Refrain yourself from performing this reality distortion. Keep a healthy perspective on the situation instead. Limit the problem to its real size

2 Expand your awareness

Identify the real challenge! Expand your awareness about the situation. Identify the underlying dynamics. Shift perspectives etc.

3 Build up strength

Gather information. Find support. Focus. Keep your mind clear. Focus on solutions rather than building negativity or putting yourself down.

4 Design the solution

Sometimes, by simply expanding your awareness, the problem will dissolve altogether. In the cases where action is needed, design a strategy, an approach to handle the situation.

5 Take action!

This is the real test. Do something about it. Move forward. Take risks. Do not hesitate. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

6 Follow up

Make sure you don't stop half way. A solution often comes in a few stages. Follow up on your strategy.

7 Learn from it!

Challenges are always an opportunity to grow. Learn from your experiences and develop your effectiveness in taking up challenges and implementing solutions.

8 Be proactive

Instead of waiting for problems to arise, prevent! See, identify problems in their early stages, before they even surface. Listen to warning signs. Don't be passive! Start looking at life as an opportunity of taking up challenges rather than responding to problems.

Dealing with a conflict means realizing that a battle is going on. To win a battle or to solve the conflict, you need power and breakthroughs.

You have the power and potential to solve a conflicting situation and you need to take action to achieve that.

Design a strategy

Take a white page and write down your options. All of them, even the ones which aren't realistic. What options feel the easiest. Which ones will be successful?

Select 2 or 3 of them and design a strategy, a plan to handle the conflict.

Focus on win-win

Focus on win-win when possible.

Gather power

Do you need extra info, resources, support or skills before you take action? Is there anything you still need to strengthen your confidence? Go and get it.

Take action

After that: take action!

Follow up and repeat your message if needed. Following up is often the key to a definite breakthrough.

To solve a crisis situation, take this 4 steps approach:

1. Isolate the problem

Making the problem bigger than it is, is a natural tendency. Isolate the problem first and reduce it to its real size.

2. Design a strategy

Write down your options. Take a white page and write down all the possible options you have, even the ones which do not seem realistic.

Select some one or more of your options and design a more detailed course of action.

3. Take action

Taking action is what shifts a situation. It is what makes the difference. It always means slightly going beyond your comfort zone.

4. Follow up

Sometimes a message needs to be repeated a few times to be effective. Be sure you follow up on the steps you have to take.
Learn from your experience. Be sure you do what it needed so that the problem does not surface again. You can as well design quick responses strategies in case the same situation happens again.

It can take a while to integrate how to do it. Once you learn it though, you'll realize how easy and direct it is to find solutions. It is a single life skill that you'll use for a life time.

It is good to remember that with crisis situations it is okay to focus on short term or temporary solutions. Look at what you can do straight away to go through this transition period. This will give you a bit of extra energy to start looking at longer term perspectives

Enjoy!

Here are some key ideas on finding and implementing solutions. The following model is a 6 steps process I apply in many of my own life situations.

I successfully use this model with my clients as well. It is effective, easy to implement and gives you great results. Here it is in 6 easy steps:

Step 1: Isolate the problem

Making the problem bigger than it is, is a natural tendency. Isolate the problem first and reduce it to its real size.

Step 2: Write down your options

Take a white page and write down all the possible options you have, even the ones which do not seem realistic.

Step 3: Design a strategy

Select some one or more of your options and design a more detailed course of action.

Step 4: Take action

Taking action is what shifts a situation. It is what makes the difference. It always means slightly going beyond your comfort zone.

Step 5: Follow up

Sometimes a message needs to be repeated a few times to be effective. Be sure you follow up on the steps you have to take.

Step 6: Learn from it

Learn from your experience. Be sure you do what it needed so that the problem does not surface again. You can as well design quick responses strategies in case the same situation happens again.

It can take a while to integrate how to do it. Once you learn it though, you'll realize how easy and direct it is to find solutions. It is a single life skill that you'll use for a life time.

Enjoy!


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More on this...


A solution is much more than a tip or a strategy. It is a complete evolution and action line which contains all aspects of success in it.

When you want a solution, you are looking for an energy connection, a stream, something which gives you not only the ideas but the energy to take action as well.

This is why a solution is much more than an idea or a strategy. An idea is part of a larger energy reality. An idea is the visible part the iceberg. Under the water, there is a larger plan and vision.

This larger plan is the true solution. This larger plan is formless. It is free and can be adapted to your own unique situation.

What truly matters is the path you choose and where this path takes you. Does the path you choose have the capacity to deliver what it says it can deliver?

Good luck and stay in touch

Francisco

How to strengthen your emotional foundation

In most cases of negative thinking and negative emotional patterns, what is missing is a stronger emotional foundation.

Imagine your mind as an inner architecture of thought forms, education, habits, instinctual reactions, etc.

Imagine now that it is this mind architecture which protects your mind space.

Your life connections and the support you get from your environment are as well strengthening elements.

When you have a negative emotion invading your mind space, it simply means that you miss the power to defend your inner territory.

If you want to stop negative thinking and negative emotions, all you need to do is to bring in a new power quality in your mind. This new power quality will naturally strengthen your emotional base, give you security and simply protect your mind.

With certain negative emotions, like doubts and fears, this increase of power is combined with an increase of awareness. You identify why the doubt is there in the first place: is it a real "warning" doubt or is it simply an irrational useless instinctual reaction.

These are very powerful techniques. The reason why you have never tapped into these resources naturally by yourself is simply because society and normal education does not always put you in touch with these resources.

This strengthening of your emotional foundation is related with your instincts. For instance your survival instinct contains in itself a very empowering emotional base. This means that if you are confronted to survival in nature for instance, these powers naturally wake up.

There are of course other ways to wake up these natural inner resources, for instance any form of martial art training like aikido, karate or kung fu trains your emotional foundation and naturally wakes up your power.

When you find yourself in situations which are emotionally challenging, you might feel a gap on that level. You might feel a gap as well when you see yourself trapped in negative thinking patterns.

A negative thinking pattern related with irritation for instance is simply an inability to get what you want. You can as well feel touched by a negative emotion you can't truly identify. These types of emotions can be correlated with an invasion of your mind space, the incapacity to protect yourself and to use your power effectively.

If you spend an afternoon in a city, you are bombarded by thousands of psychic impressions. These impressions can anchor themselves in the core of your being or they can bounce on the surface of your mind. The difference between those who enjoy a city and those who don't is simply a difference in this level of inner power.

If you have the skills, you have a good time. On the other hand if you feel permanently threatened by the judgment of others or simply feel insecure, you'll have a terrible time and feel drained after a couple of hours.

When you wake up your power, you wake up your natural ability to protect yourself.

Your emotional foundation represents this inner architecture which sustains your emotional body.

There are some simple steps to wake up this inner power. This is what we do in a coaching session. It is a form of initiation, an awakening of an inner potential which is already in you.

If you eat a peace of fruit, your respond to a natural instinct. You are hungry and you eat.

Now, if you feel threatened and want more power, what would you do? where would you start? Is there a fountain of fresh power you can wake up and simply drink from naturally? Yes there is.

All you need is to wake up this stream and know how to tap into it at will. It's easy and it takes you only a few minutes to get initiated into it. By phone or in person. Both work perfectly

Power kick

Sometimes, all you need is this extra power kick. It's a formless energy. You can feel exactly when you need it. It's like an adrenalin rush.

Coaching sessions are targeted to give you such a kick. It is about getting the right support at the right time and adding a very special and simple energy to your mind.

This energy comes from you. From within. In fact you already own all the tools to fully empower your life. You simply might not know exactly how to access it or where to look.

My role is to help you with that. I give you all the space and time you need. What you get with coaching is a safe and respectful environment where you can develop new abilities and tap fully into your inner natural powers.

In that space you can trust, relax and simply take steps in your own time. There is no rush. It is a simple and natural opening of your inner potentials.

The last few months have been such an inspiring time. The coaching space did immensely mature and my approach is now 100% focused on giving you your full power.

A potential power gap expresses itself in so many ways and life situations. It's good to realize that most life challenges can be overcome with a simple power kick. It gives you energy to break through, solve, choose, strengthen and realize.

What does a coaching session give you? If you are in a crisis situation, it will give you this extra energy support to gain clarity and take your next step.

If you are in a stable life situation, it will help you define your vision and give you the emotional fuel to move forward.

Trust your instinct and give yourself what it takes to break through.

Looking forward to coach you soon

What is your emotional foundation?

Emotional foundation? Have you heard that term before?

It is your core system of energies, your beliefs, what you have in the middle of your mind and gives you an inner structure, an energy base.

Part of this emotional foundation is formless. It can be your connection with nature for instance.

It can be a connection with a property or a land. It can be a connection with a person. It can be a diploma, a community.

Another aspect of your emotional foundation are your thoughts, beliefs, ideas, thinking patterns, etc.

As you can see, many element can play a role, strengthen and empower your emotional body.

Intuitively you can perceive what is behind that term.

You might realize as well that sometimes you feel emotionally very sensitive or vulnerable.

Sometimes, you simply feel great, powerful, in harmony, balanced and free.

What state do you prefer?

What are the key elements which create your emotional foundation?

A strong emotional foundation is of course more conductive to happiness.

The key question is: what can you do about it? Suppose you feel too vulnerable, what can you do about it?

Do you feel that sometimes your thoughts and emotions are sabotaging your chances of success?

Is a negative past experience keeping you from fully enjoying life?

Is your mind super conductive or is it slowed down by irrational fears and invisible doubts?

Again what can be done about it? The solutions or techniques are endless: Therapies and healing techniques, spiritual directions, mind power, NLP, positive psychology, mind machines, yoga, personal development, self growth, coaching... Did I forget anyone?

There is lots! In fact, it's simply overwhelming! It's a bit like sitting at travel's agent's and having to decide on the spot for the right destination.

In my opinion, everything works to a certain extent. Every one of these techniques or approaches has something to offer which can empower your emotional foundation.

Hang on a second... Empowering your emotional foundation is not about stopping to cry or stepping out of depression. These are "extreme cases" in a sense. Emotional foundation concerns anyone. It's simply the art of establishing key and empowering forces and frames in the core of your mind.

The truth is that your "mind vehicle" probably functions okay. It's often only when you come in a situation of crisis that you decide to do something about it. Crisis situations are often the moment you decide to find out more about your mind and the way it functions.

Part of the goal of coaching is to empower your emotional foundation and give you back strength and tools to simply have greater life satisfaction.

The strengthening of your emotional foundation is a build up work which is done consciously, identifying gaps and positive points.

Imagine yourself going to the gym. What you do is building up your fluidity, energizing your body and sometimes building up muscle and power as well.

Where do you train your mind? Where do you train and empower your emotional foundation?

Find your power

Some years ago, I was in a situation where almost everything was gone: job, friends, money, house, car. I ended up with nothing! I went to live in nature for 6 months. I stayed in forests and simply tried to find in me resources to go on.

After a couple of months, something started waking up in me: some form of survival instinct. It's something we all have but somehow I never felt it before.

I realized that even though everything was gone, there was something in me which did not die or disappear. I would call this my life power.

I started "rebuilding" my mind and life around this new base. This was almost 10 years ago and it is still my "energy" base today.

That's the base from which I coach. It's a very specific core of energy which gives me trust and power in life.

It's so precious that I can't understand how I spend most of my life not knowing about this resource of energy inside myself.

My role as your coach is to help you get in touch with this source of natural power. It's a source of power you could find anytime which gives you a stronger mind foundation.

After some years of coaching and developing ways of tapping into that, I realized that there are actually very simple ways to wake up this natural power.

It is in fact like getting in touch with something very basic in your being. The moment it wakes up, you definitely feel the difference. It gives you trust, confidence and the way you relate to others fundamentally shifts.

It is a connection with a very basic source of inner energy.

It is always in you but it simply gets covered by layers of education and conditioning. The modern life style tends as well to limit the expression of this natural stream of power.

This power gives you the ability to protect your personal space. It strengthens your will power, energy level and life force.

It gives you as well this extra energy kick to breakthrough whatever is limiting you.

Writing a book about it could work but at this stage, it's not yet created. It might come in the future.

At this stage, the only way I help you connect with your inner natural power is within a coaching session.

Wake up your personal power

Have you ever felt like you are using only a small fraction of your personal power?

Have you ever felt like there is much more potential than the one you are using right now?

What is that potential? Is it magic powers? Is it new skills and abilities? Is it a new life, belongings, money? Is it a new network, friends, family connections?

All these are fine but there is another one. Something deeper and direct you might not think off. This potential is an inner strength, and inner power which is waiting to come out and be manifested.

What is it waiting for? Very simple: a sign from you.

You might not realize that, but you are sitting right now on a dormant gold mine which is ready to boost your life, energy, career, and whatever you can think of.

This force is an inner power. It is in the very core of your life simply waiting to come out.

You were born with a powerful gift: the seed for a physical body, your mind, a channel of life force.

Now, something strange happened in your childhood though: it's called conditioning. It came through education, family, friends. It's not a bad thing. It's simply needed to shape your life in a way which fits society: good manners, speech, skills, etc.

All these integrated forms create a very special set of structures in your life. This is your vehicle. It is your mind, a set of belief system, habits, actions, behaviors, attitudes, emotional reactions. All these are forms: mind patterns.

Again, they are positive ones. This shaping of your mind. This character building is what created your mind as you see it today. Millions of life experiences, feelings and emotions.

Every single time you laughed in the past, there is a stream of life force which crossed your mind. It created a channel of energy. It created a frame which is still present in your mind today.

Imagine how many times you laughed in your life. Imagine how many times you felt a giggle bursting in you. If you had the ability to do it, you could recall hundreds of those moments.

The same goes for any emotion. The same goes for any thought. The same goes for any action and any spoken word.

Now take a second to step back and compare your mind today with your mind the way it was the day you were born. What do you see?

Do you recognize this virgin mind you had when you were a child? No thoughts yet, only some instincts and emotions. Your character was not yet built. There were no memories apart from what you felt in the womb.

Many years later, there are layers of experiences and literally millions of micro memories imprinted in your mind.

So, what is this power you are not using? You could call it your original instinctual force. It is a clear channel of energy which activates your mind and life.

Do you feel sometimes like you are carrying the world on your shoulders? Do you feel sometimes these hundreds of life anchors which stop you from moving forward? What are these anchors? They are undigested memories, undigested emotions which haven't been cleared.

Your mind is a powerful tool. Now, sometimes it needs a little help to breakthrough and take the next step.

Imagine for a second a powerful force which has the ability to give you this extra power you need to move forward and activate the skills you need.

Imagine again that this force is there, waiting for a signal from you. It's simply waiting to be activated.

The question is: "How do you tap into this inner potential?", "How do you wake up this inner natural resource which is waiting to come out?"

The answer is simple: by connecting with it.

Mind foundation techniques

Mind foundation techniques are direct tools to manifest a certain quality in your mind. Imagine how it would feel if you could at will decide what quality you want in your mind.

Suppose you need more power. You can use this unique technique to strengthen your power base. You need more happiness, use your happiness technique. Need more love? no problem, simply use your love technique.


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Impact areas

A technique can impact on various parts of a personality:

• The person's environment and belongings
• It's relationship to other people
• It's relationship to nature, city or environment
• The physical body
• The thoughts and belief system
• The emotions
• The chakras

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Types of impact:

• Crystallized. This happens when there is a visible result. For instance a writing, a change in the personal environment, etc.
• Volatile. This happens when there is no visible trace of the technique. For instance inner concentration, spoken words, etc.

You are the master of your mind

There is a mystery in us called emotional freedom.

Most experiences leave a “mark” on our mind.

This mark can be deep and visible or invisible.

Your present limits are simply a series of mind frames that you accept as your present limits.

Now, to breakthrough your present limits, you need a force strong enough to break the existing patterns and open new doors.

This is what a meeting with someone special sometimes does for you. A simple conversation about your goals with someone who is open minded can have an amazing impact on your life.

It is like opening a new door in your mind landscape.

A mind frame can be a limitation or a protection depending on the moment or how you look at it. Mind frames are structures which support your mind.

A mind frame is like a roof above your head. It protects you from the rain but stops you as well from seeing the stars at night.

The ideal: have flexible mind frames. When the sun shines, you simply open the doors of your mind and take in the warmth and the light.

When destructive winds are blowing, you are able to shut down those doors and simply feel 100% safe.


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It’s all about mastering your mind

This type of intelligence is priceless. Instead of riding a vehicle you can’t control, decide to actually own all your tools.

This ability to play with limits and boundaries, to be flexible and aware, has a lot to do with emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence could be described as the ability to shift mind patterns at will and recreate new ones when needed.

A new mind pattern can be an open channel of creativity. It can be this flow of inspiration which takes over your life and floods you with bliss.

When you build a new house, you can see the scaffolds. You can see the walls rising, the windows being set up, etc. It is visible.

With your mind, it’s another story. Mind frames are invisible. A positive emotion is not visible for the external eye. You might feel someone else’s joy because of its external expression in the form of speech and body language. You’ll see a smile on the face. You’ll hear it in the tone of voice.

These signs are the visible part of the iceberg. Behind the surface, there is a sea of emotions and thoughts.

If you could have a real blueprint of your mind frames, it would be easy to actually find where joy or pain is created.

You could simply go there and replace an old, undigested emotion by a new stream of life force.

So here is the challenge: awareness. To know where to start with mastering your mind, you must first have a picture of your mind. You need to wake up your awareness and explore the way you function and are built.

This first step will give you this blueprint of a region of your mind. You might be looking at your emotions, thoughts, feelings or desires.

You might be looking at the present, past or future.

The mind is multidimensional.

There is a dimension of time in it.

There is as well a dimension of space in it. It can be a certain region of your emotions for instance. The region associated with the way you handle your professional life or your spiritual connection for instance.

Then there is another dimension: the type of mind frame we look at. This could the materials. Is it an emotion or is it a thought? Is it a feeling? Is it a formless inspiration? Is it a desire?

All these mind frames are like different materials composing your mind.

You see, you miss something here: A map of your mind.

We have glimpses, perceptions, vague ideas or beliefs, but if right now, I say: ”Where is your soul located? Where are you past thoughts stored? What is the relationship between a thought and the emotion associated with that thought?” we probably have no clear answers to these questions, only glimpses and intuitive beliefs.

The mind might be such a complex vehicle that we still did not find a way of “mapping” it successfully using a truly suitable model.

The three dimensional design of a house is easy to comprehend. Same for a country’s road map.

If you take a time planner or agenda, what you see is a time frame with various activities. Again, this is easy to comprehend. Now, the mind might be so complex that at this stage, any attempt to comprehend it with our logical skills will be too simplistic and miss the point.

So, we use simple models. We write a diary of the day’s events and feelings, We might as well take it one step further and engage into a psychotherapy. A session with a hypnotherapist might unlock some keys in the past or open new doors into the future.

These are still simple glimpses.

Now, what would you do if you had more awareness and more power to actually change things in your mind? Imagine for a second that you can easily see where there is friction or energy wasted in your mind. Imagine that you can actually do something about it and remove a painful emotion or set up a new activity channel which will multiply your sense of joy and pleasure.

Would you take that chance? Would you go with it and attempt to understand your mind?

Master your nature link

Nature is an essential part of your life. That's where you have your real roots. That's where your body and part of your mind comes from.

When you go in nature, spend some time on a beach or in a forest, you connect with that part of yourself.

Layers of thoughts and habits can stop you from seeing deep enough and connecting with what is truly there: your instinctual nature.

You can't forget about this aspect of your life. In fact the life force in your body is a reflection of the life force in nature. A tree contains the same life force essence as a human being. On an energy or etheric level, life flows in the same way in the whole of nature. It is basically the same mechanism.

The moment you feel life disharmony, the best is to go back in nature and let nature's harmony reflect on your being. This naturally creates a frictionless flow of life force which harmonizes your being. This flow of life force is the essence of wellness.

A sickness can be seen as a disharmony in the flow of this life force.

Nature impacts on all levels of your personality and spirit. It impacts on your body and your mind.



Our mind is always using nature as an example for its own evolution. Nature is our original model. If you cut yourself from nature, you simply cut yourself from a precious source of inspiration.

Have you heard about bionics? Bionics is the development of new technologies using nature's models. For instance engineers try to imitate spider web when creating ultra resistant rope. That's bionics.

If we go beyond the physical body and technology, we enter into a field we could call "mind bionics".

Mind bionics is the art of using nature as a source of inspiration for developing your mind. It simply means connecting with your instinctual nature.

Nature is one of your key environments.

Would you feel comfortable when spending a week outdoor in nature by yourself. What would you do? How would you relate to this environment?

This is not a form of survival test. It's more than an experiment.

A house is a protective structure which simply stops elemental forces from impacting on your being. Imagine you remove the protection of a home and simply confront your being with the elemental forces of nature. You might have experienced a couple of nights outdoor. How did your feel?

What happens when you spend time in nature is very special and very magical. You tap into new (or ancient) instinctual abilities and simply create a new equilibrium with this environment.

You can take different "roles" when you go in nature:

• Personal development, team building - a week-end training with your company
• Vitality, relaxation, free time - a relaxing holiday on a tropical beach
• Scientific approach - Biology, Geology, bird watching
• Artistic expression - Photography, painting, music
• Mystical, spiritual - mediating under a tree
• Challenging sports - don't forget your mountain bike
• Family time, social time - Sunday outing

Now, when you master your relationship with nature, you tend to go beyond the limits of these activities and see what happens when your drop all that. You simply relate to nature and discover how it impacts on your mind.

When you master the nature environment, you simply feel at ease and comfortable within that space.

There are hundreds of ways of "communicating" with nature and waking up your instinctual mind.

If you want to try it out, simply go and spend a couple of day in nature every now and then, this will automatically reconnect you with your instincts.

Here are as well 10 simple techniques to wake up your life power when you are in nature.

If you want to build up mind power, all you have to do is apply your natural power to areas of your life.

The first step is to gain back control over what is yours.

Controlling power is one of the most misunderstood forces. It is a very positive force when channeled in the right direction.

When people think of power they often interpret it as the power you have over others. This is one of the greatest misconceptions about power.

The first step is to shift your attitude and use controlling power first for what is yours.


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Personal power areas

Here are the key life areas where you can first express your power:

Your thoughts

Your emotions

Your belongings

Your time frame

Your personal space

Your actions and behaviors

It's very simple. Your actions belong to you. When someone tries to control your actions and tells you what to do, they are stealing a basic right from you. Check these exceptions

If someone tells you what you should think and tries to force you, they are again trying to control something which does not belong to them.

If someone takes the keys of your car without your permission, they are trying to have some control over something which does not belong to them.

You get the picture?

Where to start with personal power?

If you feel you gave away your power and want it back, the best is to take small steps. Start claiming back what is obvious. For instance clean your room and personal space and get rid of what you don't want there. No need to be aggressive with that. Remember: you are backed up by a basic natural law.

Gaining back control over your life is a thrilling experience because you start using tools which were always there.

When you do this, you set up new boundaries and simply strengthen your personal foundation. You give power to your base and simply establish a new equilibrium in your life.

Are you resisting power?

I come from the "spiritual" world. In fact I spent more than 10 years 100% engaged in an inner quest.

When I was 16, one of my best friends argued that my opinions were too "spacey". I remember his exact words: "Go back to your clouds".

The spiritual dimension focuses a lot on Love. It is the key of most teachings and the top quality one tries to develop.

After actively practicing a path single minded on love, something strange happened: I did run out of energy. True! I simply realized love was not enough. That's the moment I searched for another quality to balance up my approach.

What came out? Power.

The first thing you might realize when you try to connect with your own power is that you might have lots of misconceptions about it. In fact deep inside, a part of you could be rejecting the very idea of power.

You associate "power" with "abuse of power" and in your mind these two become one single reality.

This is the greatest misconception about power. It is the number one reason you might be running out of power: deep inside, something simply rejects the idea of power.

The first step to empower your life is to get used again with the idea of owning power.


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Take this simple test:

If right now I ask you: "how do you feel about power?" what would you say?

1. I love it! I want more

2. I am okay with it

3. I am afraid I will need to look at it

4. I don't like power

5. I don't want power. I will stay out of it



I guess the conclusion is obvious. If you answered anywhere from 2 to 4, this means you are luke warm about power.

To get more power, the first step is to open up to it. In fact become super conductive to power. If you don't like power, power won't like you back. It's very simple: you can't get more of it if you reject it in the first place.


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The second step is to realize that with greater power comes greater responsibility.

The moment you tap into your sources of power, you have to be very clear about what you want to do with it. You need to be clear about your values and ethics.

Why? Because power can be a very destructive force.




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That's it! we are done.

Once you remove resistances and set up a course of action, all the rest flows naturally.

Power is a very natural essence in your life and you were born with all the abilities to use and manifest it. You connect with it by waking up some natural reflexes. All your "power moves" are already in you. All you have to do is wake them back.

Unleash your power

Yes! Set it free!

Your power is an instinct. It is a force which exists in you and can be constricted by thousands of limiting thoughts forms.

It is called conditioning. It is permanent flow of doubts and limiting disbeliefs.

On the other hand, the natural stream of power can keep on flowing and create a mighty stream of life force.

You have the choice of what you want to feed. You can feed your limiting thoughts or you can empower your life in an endless stream of action and energy.

You have the power to tune into a wide set of energies. You can reflect them inside and give them space to grow and expand.

Power is a choice. Don't listen when someone tells you power is a bad thing. It comes from a misunderstanding. It is the confusion between power and abuse of power.

Many people believe that power corrupts. This is why they stay away from it. They associate power with abuse of power. When they see the word "power", it brings in negative images of armies, battle fields and fanatic dictators. This is very misleading.

Power has nothing to do with that. Power is an essence you can use for anything. It's like atomic energy or the energy of the sun. It is a freeing force which leads to immense life satisfaction.

There is competition for power. Sports and business are all geared towards being the best. Politics is often a battle for power as well. This competition for power is again a natural instinct.

When someone is trying to stop you from gaining more power, they are simply expressing this competitive spirit. It's like being on a 100 m sprint race and having next line's runner trying to stop you.

In life, this happens all the time: it can be your next door neighbor who tells you to shut up. It can be your family, coworkers, friends. Some people simply don't want you to grow!

On the other hand, those who feel confident about themselves and in a way "are already there" will have a reinforcing effect on your convictions and desires to gain more power.

Power is great! I love power!

Can you say it? can you write it down?

Take this simple test:

If right now I ask you: "how do you feel about power?" what would you say?

1. I love it! I want more

2. I am okay with it

3. I am afraid I will need to look at it

4. I don't like power

5. I don't want power. I will stay out of it



I guess the conclusion is obvious. If you answered anywhere from 2 to 4, this means you are luke warm about power.

To get more power, the first step is to open up to it. In fact become super conductive to power. If you don't like power, power won't like you back. It's very simple: you can't get more of it if you reject it in the first place.

Read full story here: Are you resisting power?




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Clear your mind channels

Your mind is the key to your success. What drains energy is friction. Negative beliefs and doubts simply create thousands of invisible anchors which act like resistance when you try to take action.

On the other hand, if you are clear about your choices and simply empower yourself by clearing doubts and self limiting beliefs, you are in for an incredible life ride.

Unleash! Free! Liberate!

An action is supported by thoughts and beliefs. Before you take action you usually create a mind set which will support your moves. You build up skill and any sports person will tell you. It's all in the mind. In fact it's not true: It's in the body as well. It is in the support structures and the sponsors. Now, if you take two competitors and give them the same tools, what will make a difference is their mind.

When you are in a race, you can be empowered by different forces.

The key to success is flow and maximum efficiency. This means removing resistances in the form of limiting emotions, thoughts and beliefs. What is the force which helps you do that? It is precisely power.

To "clean your mind", you can use a force which is called renewal power. This is a natural instinct and it is there! It is already part of the game. Are you using it? How do you access it?




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Inner doubts, your surrounding's limiting beliefs are this "leash" we talk about. This is what keeps you from flying 100% free in life.

To unleash, your need to tap into a stronger source of power which removes resistances and sets you on a fresh action and energy stream.

It is like an oceanic current of power and energy which moves you forward. It is the thrill of connecting with an inner force which connects you with your destiny line.

Mind power is instinctual. You can set up yourself on a "reasoning course" but what matters at the end is emotional fuel and the way you use it.

You can discuss strategies, design techniques and practice the moves, but what gives you the final win is stamina, life power, determination. These are not thoughts forms. They are free energy.

Your mind is great and powerful but your ability to conceptualize can slow you down. The goal is to hit the target, whatever that target might be.

You can talk about it or go ahead and do it. If you have to jump in the water, you can stand next to the waves and think about it, and reason about or you can jump in the water and let your instincts guide you. Thoughts can be limiting.

Ignorance can be bliss. Even if you practiced the moves and know the recipes for success, what gives you the win is your instinctual power to go for it.

This instinctual power is a conquering force. It is similar to survival instinct and does not need thoughts to enter in action.

Your inner drives are your fuel. Focus and determination are dynamic energies in your system. The moment they flow freely is the moment you act and take decisions in a second. You are 100% in tune with your destiny line and there is no separation between your action and your thought. Mind and action are one.

You can make yourself life lists and keep on delaying success because deep inside you hide in the security of your comfort zone. The moment you connect with your action thrill, something else builds up. You realize you love this flow of life force and can't live without it. Life speed is your natural state.

Techniques become reflexes. You have hundreds of natural reflexes in you. The art of running is simply the art of reconnecting with natural moves. Artificial modern life styles overlap and constrict these instincts. When you unleash your instincts, you unleash a power which was slightly dormant in you. You establish it back in the core of your being and give it full power and trust.

Most of life power has nothing to do with reasoning and conceptualizing your existence. It means going for it fearlessly and destroying delay.

Inspiration, mind set and action are one. Synchronized. This is the moment magic happens for you. What's on the way? The limits of your comfort zone. Your instincts naturally wander beyond the limits of what you already know. Fear and doubts call them back. They reason an impulsion and take away its strength.

Your inspiration can be fragile in its original state. You can kill that inspiration by building up a "resistance mind set", or you can build up the inspiration by being super conductive to it.

The difference between super flow of life force and blocked energies is simply a mind set. Change your pattern and what you feel is a slow vehicle can become a high speed jet any time.

Sure, there is conditioning. 20-30 years of thought forms build up do create a mind set. Now your own inner renewal power has the ability to shift thoughts faster than you can imagine. It does not take long if you set your mind into it.

It's like connecting with a cleaning force which gives you the tools to move forward. The challenge? Gaining speed and simply removing obstacles. 90% of obstacles are related with wrong conditioning. Millions of seed of doubts projected and anchored in your mind.

Now you are the master of your mind. The power to get what you want is yours. It is a high speed movement which can take you where you want to be. This is a move of energies and instincts which are already alive in you. All you have to do is use them and accept that your present mind set can be shifted and evolved. Your present mind landscape is only a temporary identity you did build over the years. The only reason why this identity is there is because you accept it there.

There is a natural over glorification of your memory world. Memories are simply mind frames which create an identity. It is this identification which stops you from moving forward to another dimension. Let go of this identification and you can truly shift your existence in no time.

Your instincts have the power to guide you with that. Your can consciously replace what you no longer need by new tools and mind sets.

It is very simple and it is always your choice. Gaining speed in life is stepping beyond your comfort zone. After some time, your new life speed becomes your new natural comfort zone. What is thrilling is the acceleration, not the speed itself. You can be in an airplane traveling at 800 miles/hour and not even notice it.

What is thrilling is the acceleration. If you stay too long within your comfort zone, it's the passion and excitement which are gone.

A daily dose of challenges on the other hand keeps you alive, fresh and moving. That's the magic!

When I say, the word "control", what comes to your mind?

Is control a force you want to have more off in your life?

I believe that the way you use control is one of your keys to life satisfaction and performance.

Control is a force which can be wasted. Take for instance most political talk going on in cafes. Check for a second the amount of energy you spend sometimes trying to influence events which are beyond your sphere of influence.

Control is very precious. Not in the sense of controlling others. This is already an abuse very often. No, we talk about another type of control: the control you can have over what is yours.

When you build a fence around your property, you define very exactly what is yours and what isn't. What you are saying is: "Everything inside this fence belongs to me. Everything outside this fence is beyond my authority."

When you try to control what is beyond your territory, you simply tend to waste energy.

Trying to control other people's lives is a waste of time and energy! Of course there are systems and organizations which create delegation of power. This happens in organizations and politics. they are agreed transfers of power. An organization naturally needs some form of control to be sustained. Nowadays, network organizations which empower and free their members to the maximum seem to be the future. This means that control is minimal so that individual and small teams creativity is maximized.

But let's come back to you and your life. Where and how do you use control? Here are some possible examples:

• Parenting
• Work
• Coworkers
• Personal space
• Thoughts and emotions
• Relationship
• Diet
• Time frame
• Government's directions
• Environmental issues

You can use two forms of controlling power: One is real control. Another is influence.

You can see with these various areas that you have very little influence over some of these areas (for instance: the government's directions and choices... You use your vote and that's about it). Environmental issues can as well be far beyond your control. You can take action, and manifest disapproval and have long conversations with friends about it. The truth is that it can create an ongoing stream of worries where no matter how hard you try situations do not shift.

Parenting: In that case, some of the controlling power of your children is delegated to you. You receive extra authority and responsibility. This extra power is given to you by an instinctual parenting arrangement (the way it happens in nature). It is an arrangement which is sponsored as well by society (there is a legal set up which explains exactly what the rights of parents and children are).

Your thoughts and emotions: here we enter into a new territory. your thoughts and emotions are definitely within your sphere of influence. same for personal space, etc.

When a couple splits, It is very often related with control issues. One or both partners feel that their personal and mind space gets constricted to the point of them not being able to evolve anymore. This can easily be translated as an overuse of controlling power from one or both partners.

The need to protect the family space gives your some extra power. This extra power is sealed in the form of a marriage for instance or a mutual commitment to the relationship (moral agreement). Now imagine what happens when you partner goes around flirting with someone else. Your protective power wakes up and your reinforce your control over your partner so that he or she does not run away with someone else. Jealousy is originally simply a way of expressing that power. It is a psychic power or pressure which is simply struggling to stay in control.

Now, irrational fear and doubts can trigger you to overuse controlling power. Literally you become over jealous and start limiting your partner's inner space. You react to their freedom and simply tend to oppose their moves.

This is the moment the relationship can literally die. It stops breathing! All that because of irrational fears and trying to have greater control over someone else's life.

When you love someone, you don't limit that person's dreams and desires. Loving means offering support, care and being truly happy for someone else's success. What brings you to overuse control is the fact that you love the relationship or the marriage more than your partner. You are attached to the security of the relationship. In the name of protecting the marriage, you might kill your partner's dreams.

Control can kill life force. It can kill the natural flow of energies and simply block evolution. When this happens, tension builds up until the destructive power overcomes the limiting controlling forces. What happens then? Break up, drama, divorce, separation. Evolution always finds a way to keep moving.

If the relationship space is over controlled and there is not enough freedom for individual growth this destructive force (can as well be called freeing or renewal) starts building up until it reaches the breaking point.

Why is this happening? Overuse of controlling power from one or both partners. Control limits the free flow of energy and life force and tries to stop evolution for a while.

The same can happen with your personal life, with political systems, with friendship, career, businesses, etc.

It is always the same combination dynamic: overuse or misuse of control.

Time to use your wisdom: if you feel that you are overusing control in one area or another you have a few options:


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Situation 1

The first one is to transmute a controlling force into a protective one: If you have a dog and a property with a fence around it, you can keep the dog leashed or you can leave it free within the limits of the property.

1. fence + leash = control + control

2. fence + freedom = control + protective power

You express your protective power by feeding the dog.

As you can see, situation 1 brings saturation. The dog might become extra aggressive. Situation 2 means balance. Some power, some protection.

This example is symbolical but the same type of situation can happen for hundreds of life situations involving your controlling power and the way you use it.


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Situation 2

You can reorient your controlling power. Here is a classical couple situation: you are not really satisfied with your career. On the other hand your partner is doing great and would like to take it one step further with a new business idea. When your partner mentions the idea, you come with all sorts of suggestions. You later get frustrated because your ideas or not being used or even taken seriously.

In that case, you are trying to influence your partner's professional moves. It is basically beyond your sphere of control but still within some sphere of light influence. He asks you for support, you give back controlling influence.

The obvious solution for this situation is to transfer your controlling power and simply use it on what belongs to you: your own career.

What often happens is that you transfer your controlling power to your partner's business choices simply because you don't know how to take control over your own career.

Imagine what would happen if you direct your controlling power on your own life and use it to transform and move forward with your career path. This would of course have greater impact because it is your life. That's where you are supposed to use you control.


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Control is a force you can use first on your own life. I would say that what is left or extra can be transmuted into a more protective or preserving style.

For instance, as a parent, you can shift from controlling to protective style. What does this mean? Opening your arms around a person rather than shutting down on their space. It means supporting their dreams and desires, focusing on their potentials, etc.

Power delegation within organizations often requires a similar set of choices. Your leadership or management style is crucial. The way you use your power will either lead to success or to failure.

Control is an incredible force. You have a certain amount of it and what truly matters and makes a difference is where and how you use it.


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If you feel your present balance of power is not working and is sabotaging your life, you can do something about it. Using your power is a skill you can train and learn. It is very easy to assess what you want and the results you create.

A second natural direction for developing your controlling skills is to gain back control over what is yours.

If what you want and what you create do not match, it is simply because somewhere along the line energy is misoriented or wasted.

What can stop you?

I will be very direct with you okay? You simply get used to your comfort zone.

Nothing wrong with that. The modern life style and set of habits and behaviors simply tends to create this inner landscape.

Your inner landscape is a conditioning. It is what you eat, in the morning. It is your thoughts, beliefs and emotions.

This present landscape is of course not your ultimate limits. It is only the limits that you accept for now. That's as far as you traveled and yes! Definitely yes! There is more. So much more.

Your present limits are not your real limits.

Your real limits will never be reached because no matter how far you go, you can always evolve further. There is no risk of ever reaching the end of your evolutionary journey.

To go from where you are to where you want to be, you need to go for the challenge. There is no way you can gain extra power by sitting back and simply comforting yourself within the limits of what you already know.

More power means more speed. It means extra opening, awareness, dynamism, perspective shifts. To gain power you need to change significant behaviors and life attitudes and check your belief system. You might discover that what you call your world is not yours. It is a temporary mind set that you accept as yours for now.

In fact, when you start evolving, you shift as well your environment. You shift friends, work situation, habit patterns, etc.

This is not a one day radical shift. It's more like a progressive evolution of what you call you equilibrium. You are never in empty space but you do accept to throw away some old "clothes" you no longer need.

What can stop you? Too much attachment to your past and present. This attachment is a form of controlling force. If you invest too much in your past, this is where your consciousness stays. Your life can either be an old photo album or a dynamic flow of life force moving you into the future.

Of course you need memories. What matters is how much weight you give them.

The more comfortable you feel within your present environment, the less energy you have to rebuild your life, present and future.

To gain power, you need to respond to challenges. Risk taking builds up power. Anything which allows you to grow beyond your present limits builds up your confidence.

What can stop you from looking beyond your present fence is simply fear, doubts and hesitations. It's not only in you. It can be as well what you heard from others, years of conditioning and self limiting beliefs.

Building up your personal power is a choice. It is a choice between security and challenge. It is a choice between past and future. It is a choice between shutting down or opening.

The moment you make that choice and decide to connect with your own forces of evolution, there is no limit of what you can achieve. This can take you forward, and stimulate every single step along the path.

This choice is yours, always. When you see opportunities, you can embrace them and nurture them. You can feed your dreams or let them die. You can refresh your existence by trying new things or simply comfort your life within the limits of what you already know.

Don't waste your power

Power is precious. You have an infinite reserve of it but if you start wasting it, it will be gone very fast.

Here are some situations and attitudes in which you might be wasting your power:

Trying to change others

Wanting to have it your way always

Disagreeing systematically

Over criticizing

Etc.

These attitudes can easily create a waste of your energy. It is like trying to bend something which can't be bent.

Why these attitudes don't work? Because you are using control and influence to change something which is often beyond your control zone.

Nature created things in a very healthy and positive way. When you are born you are given a reserve of power. This is a given human right to every single being.

You are given a reserve of free power to control what is yours. That's the ideal picture.

Let's take the example of relationships


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Power dynamics in relationships

Imagine you are a woman in a relationship. There are tensions in the relationship and your male partner is thinking of splitting.

When you use your power to try to make your partner change, you will usually be faced with massive resistance.

When you want your partner to change, you are creating a conflict between two energy realities. It is a conflict between what is in his mind against what is in yours.

In a situation like that one, you are simply using your control power to try to influence or shift his behavior.

The problem here is that self determination is a human right. This means that your male partner was given the right to decide for himself.

When you are trying to control or greatly influencing his actions and he does not want it, you are breaking a natural law of nature.

At the end, he will feel pressured, try to escape this pressure, eventually fight back or respond by shutting down.

The more you use power and control in a relationship, the more dead ends you create. Why? because by using excessive control and will power on your partner, you are precisely working against nature.

So, what is the answer. In most cases, the best solution is to give space. If you turn your controlling power into protective or preserving force, it changes everything. You take some distance, disinvest your will power on your partner and simply give him space.

When you do that, two things happen: the first one is that you allow someone to grow in their own time. The second thing which happens is that you express your love and respect fully by giving that person what he needs.

If you take the example of jealousy and check how it works, you'll quickly realize that jealousy has nothing to do with love. It is a conflict of power: Your task as a woman is to protect your relationship. You see your partner flirting with a girl and her presence threatens your relationship space. In fact, what you see is an attack on the relationship.

To defend your territory, you simply project a significant psychic blast on what is happening. You either challenge your partner or the girl he was flirting with.

Jealousy is an instinctual defense mechanism. Originally it is a very useful tool designed to protect your children and family space. So, nothing wrong with that.

Now, if you take it one step further, jealousy can consume you. Why is that? Because this power can be overused. You start responding to irrational fears which have no real ground. Have you sometimes felt like your partner was with someone else when in fact nothing was happening? You checked it out and felt really stupid about it?

Sometimes you perceive the unmanifested potentials. You have a dream about your partner sleeping with another woman and you assume that it is truly happening.

Jealousy is an example of a power that you can use in a very constructive and healthy way. It can be a fun game to be jealous. It can be a subtle force you use when it is really needed. Now, when it goes out of control, it can actually destroy your trust and your relationship.

In fact you will get exactly the opposite of what you wanted in the first place: the end of your relationship and unhappiness.

What is the solution? Master that force. Jealousy is an inner fire. Again it is related with an instinctual defense mechanism. Now you can be a slave of that mechanism or your can be its master.

When it comes to instinctual reactions like this one, you have always these two choices. The first choice is to work with the forces of nature, be synchronized, frictionless, harmonized. The second choice is to be the slave of these forces.

As you can see, mastering power dynamics within your relationship is truly one of the keys to create harmony on the long term.


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The challenge

The challenge is always to use your natural instinctual powers wisely. Most people simply avoid waking them up because they don't know how to handle them. They fear what could happen.

Imagine being given this black inner stallion (symbol for your natural wild instincts) and having to tame it.

Many beliefs systems see this waking up or freeing of your inner powers as a form of initiation. It can be the passage into adulthood for some ethnic groups. It can be the moment your give birth.

There are though other types of initiations which are simply the waking up of emotional patterns. These usually come up in crisis situations or are the results of sudden adrenaline rushes in threatening situations.

Survival can generate such awakening as well.


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Controlling power

The most common waste of power is related with the use of controlling power. The first place where control can be used is within your own life.

Being in control simply means being in charge. It's a force which simply gives you the resources to be directive with what happens in your life.

Using power outwardly to control other people's lives is already a deviation. It tends to create disharmony in family, relationships and friendships for instance.

Imagine now turning your controlling power into a more protective form. If you love someone, open your arms around that person rather then shutting them down on them. Imagine a form of opening embrace which sets free rather than limit the person.

Imagine for a second what does actually happen when you have the strength to do that.

Part of you natural role as a human being is to tame your instincts.

If you feel disharmony in your life, that's the first thing you can check within a coaching session: How are you using your power?

In many case, it's simply lack of power which creates an energy gap. You simply are in a situation where you blocked the awakening of your natural powers because you simply don't like power. You associate it with control and abuse of power. You can as well be in oppressive situation and have an overpowering force limiting your natural growth.

I work with 5 key instinctual powers at this stage. When I make a quick balance check for someone, I will notice that those who are unhappy with their lives usually miss one power in a way or another. A simple increase of power gives you usually the tools to remove obstacles and break through limiting forces. This in itself removes frustration and hopeless feelings.

In other case, it's not lack of power which creates unhappiness, it is the way power is used. Again, excessive control over your partner will hit you back in one way or another and create useless tension. These type of tension building situations are a waste of energy. They drain both partners and create dead end conflicts.

When you track back the original cause of these types of tensions, you discover a basic conflict of power. Two persons wanting to be in control of each other's lives.

In these cases, the solution is simple: Set your partner free! Trust your partner. Focus on your own life first. There is nothing in the other person which belongs to you!

I mean, do you realize that? There is no place in this relationship arrangement where you are given the right to control the other person's life. If you think you have the right, than it's a massive misunderstanding. It is a basic human right for everyone to have control over their own actions, beliefs thoughts, emotions, etc. If you step into your partners life and tell them what they must do, think or feel, you are breaking a natural law.

When you do that you constrict the other person's spirit and literally kill their life force. Sooner or later, life reacts and destroys this arrangement so that your partner can simply keep on growing.

I know, this is an accepted social behavior. Many forms of marriages state that you give your life to the other person. Now, why on earth are the divorce rates so high? Maybe it is because this type of agreement does not fit with today's spirit anymore. Individuals need more space and freedom than ever. Is this a sickness? Not at all! nature is trying to tell you something. You tend to suppress these natural desires to break free because some form of conditioning tells you you should sacrifice yourself.

It's time to wake up and listen to what your own nature is saying. Your desires and wishes are your fuel. This is the fire which keeps you going. If you suppress that fire, that's the very essence of your life power that you are killing. Who ever tells you that you should suppress and limit yourself is simply wanting to limit your life within boundaries they can control.

You see, the moment you break free, you challenge other people's beliefs: what they think about you, what they want to believe. When you decide to grow, you expand your power and naturally take back some of the power you have been delegating to others.

This means that people close to you, friends, family, collegues will sometimes loose some influence they had over you. This is why you simply face resistance when you want to grow. It is related with conservative forces (these are positive stabilizing forces) which simply sustained your growth for a while.

Now, when you decide to take back control over your life, you regain your natural power. Symbolically is is like removing the scaffolding which have been sustaining your growth.

It is your right to be in control of your life.


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Conclusion

If you feel like your life is not going where you want, take a minute to sign for a one time coaching session. You might be surprised with what you discover behind the scene. Unveiling the underlying dynamics which eventually drain your energy is the first step and very often the only one you will need to take. After that, it all flows naturally simply because you connect with your own natural forces.

Opening your eyes and seeing what is going on is a revelation in itself. Once you see it, you wish you had known that all your life.

The only tactic you'll ever need

With power comes competition. Any game, any sport, any business needs tactics and strategies to succeed.

When you create your own business, you start with a business plan. This is your vision. It is your system.

Tactics and strategies take this one step further. They are designed to lead you to victory within a competitive environment.

Tactics tend to be secret. The moment you unveil them, you loose your competitive edge. This is why businesses fiercely protect their R & D sectors. They do not reveal the details of their marketing strategies because this would of course give advantage to their competition.

The usual equation has always been: win or loose. Effective tactics can lead you to victory.

In the world of coaching, personal development and progressive business concepts, we have been evolving to new "battle" models which focus on win-win or even third win.

When you focus on win-win, no one looses. Everyone wins!

If you experienced that type of victory even once, you know that this type of "scoring" takes the thrill of winning to the next octave.

There is something immensely exciting about win-win. It's exhilarating to realize that it is now within your range to focus your strategies and tactics on making everyone win.

Competition takes a totally new meaning in the win-win mind set. Your opponent is not the one in front of you: your "opponent" becomes a new set of forces which simply resist the flow of victory to happen.

For instance, if you train for speed, as a team, your first opponent is gravity itself.

The tactics are designed to take the team one step further.

Creating a win-win is an opportunity you can't miss. When confronted with the choice between the two models "win-loose" or "win-win", which one do you choose?

Team work definitely requires win-win. Now, what is team work? If you stretch the limits far enough, a country becomes a team, the whole of humankind becomes a team.

Take a divorce situation for instance: You can fight with your ex in court or focus on win-win solutions.

The need to fight is there of course. There is a natural instinctual pattern which sometimes calls for a win-loose mind set. Win-loose happens in nature. Look at a predator with its prey. Look at competition for growth in the rain forest: the trees which reaches the light first will survive. The others might die hidden in the shade.

When you see Russia and the US collaborating on a space development program, that's obviously a win-win, isn't it?

There are of course still some forces in the US government which would rather focus on the win-loose model and keep competing with the "enemy".

The moment, the Berlin wall did fall, this was symbolically the moment the planet shifted from win-loose to win-win. What an initiation! I don't know about you, I had tears coming into my eyes.

With mind power, the number one tactic is to go for win-win. This could be the only tactic you'll ever need.

Does it mean that the "fight" is over? not at all, the target has simply shifted. The true challenge is now somewhere else.

This is not a new age idea. This is not about turning your life into a dull stream of sensitive actions. Keep on using and developing your conquering power. Your fighting power won't die. When you need an adrenaline rush you will still get it.

What happens now is that you can focus on a target which really matches the size of your ambitions.

Should you drop you win-loose tactics? Not at all! win-win takes two sides to make it work. For instance, if you are in a fight with your ex, it might sometimes be impossible to stop the conflict from going to court because of too much resentment.

On the other hand, the win-win mind set is gaining more power today. I think people simply get tired of fighting and wasting energy. if you try it out, you might embrace the win-win model and be thrilled by the results.

Collaboration for survival is another win-win example: the coral fish and the sea anemone is one example of such win-win tactic.

Win-win is in your genes. It is already there. All you need to do is sometimes tame your fighting spirit and repolarize your energy within a new mind set.

Sometimes, you have no choice of course, but if you check it further, you might wake up to the realization that the real tactic is not to destroy your opponent, it is to become a partner of their success.

You've got the power

I love this expression!

Have you read the universal declaration of the human rights?

Here is the essence of article 19:

"Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression"

I wanted to start with that one

You've got the power over your life. You are in charge of your thoughts, actions beliefs.

This means as well that when someone tries to control your thoughts or beliefs it is your basic human right to decide for yourself.

On a daily basis, integrate this idea and express it within yourself and with others.

One of the basic forces you have in you is the power to be in charge of your life. Use it or loose it.

Power dynamics

When you look at a landscape, you can see it from various angles: you can look at the shapes, you can look at the colors. You can see the moving forms, the harmony and beauty. You can see the architecture, the balance of life forces, etc.

Two persons will see the same landscape and describe it in very different ways depending on their experience, senses, background, etc.

You can look at your life and unveil the power dynamics. That's the first step of a coaching session: we observe how power works in you, how it is expressed, where are the gaps and what you can do to get more of it so that the areas of stress and tensions get harmonized and empowered.

When you meet someone else, there is always a set of power dynamics being established. Power dynamics are your power architecture. It is the way you use your power, where you apply it, etc.

When you clearly see these mechanisms, it expands your awareness and gives you straight away directions to expand and explore further.

Connecting power is bliss. When you feel pleasure and delight, you have a rush of life force flowing through your being.

Pleasure is the breakthrough of energy in your system. It is the opening of new doors in you. Eating, sensations, communication, laughter, sexual pleasure, bliss, all these forms of pleasure have something in common: They express an exchange or flow of life force. Your senses are simply the way your body perceives an external impact.

When you hear, someone speaks. When you touch, you connect with a substance. When you taste, you relate to a substance or to food.

The quest for pleasure is one of the greatest driving forces in your life. It is the desire to connect.

Bliss is another form of connection with some form of universal reality.

If you can't feel pleasure you can see this as a lack of connecting power.

To relate and connect and therefore feel pleasure, you need simply clear channels of life force through which you can interact with your environment.

You can feel pleasure when you give and when you receive. It doesn't really matter. What matters is that there is an exchange of life force.

Pleasure is an exchange of energy.

The term "communication" sounds a bit business like and corporate, but it is effectively another expression of the same connecting power. Communicating means exchanging.

The truth is that if your connecting power is weak, you simply won't relate to your environment and feel isolated.

Unless you feel the pleasure of exchanging, you won't take steps to connect with others.

The way we look at it within is coaching context is that we see pleasure, enjoyment, delight or bliss as a power. It is the ability to react to exchanges of energies.

We call this ability the connecting power. That's the power which stimulates you to respond and exchange with your environment.

Find your destiny

A destiny is a plan, a line of evolution.

You can see your destiny as a formless space of energies which create an invisible architecture of opportunities actions and behaviors.

When you look into your past, you can see an architecture of events. In fact its 'easy to recognize a pathway.

Now, imagine that there is a similar architecture for your future. It is not static or crystallized. It is rather created by a myriad of infinite options.

We could call these destiny lines.

When you choose between two careers for instance, you clearly see two lines of evolution. It is the same when you choose for a place to live, a city or even an outing for an evening.

Personal power areas

Here are the key life areas where you can first express your power:

• Your thoughts
• Your emotions
• Your belongings
• Your time frame
• Your personal space
• Your actions and behaviors

It's very simple. Your actions belong to you. When someone tries to control your actions and tells you what to do, they are stealing a basic right from you.

If someone tells you what you should think and tries to force you, they are again trying to control something which does not belong to them.

If someone takes the keys of your car without your permission, they are trying to have some control over something which does not belong to them.

You get the picture?

Your question

Hi, my problem is that I understand and am open to all your views on happiness and each day I continue to make efforts to conquer my fears and go for what I want... bit by bit literally.

Unfortunately, because of my disturbing family experiences, I cant seem to shake this deeply embedded feeling that I'm just so ugly and hideous and really not worth the effort...often I find it incredibly painful to even look at myself in the mirror... I know how awful it is to say and see such terrible things in one self and I would never say it to my worst enemy...

But the problem is when I force myself to talk positive to myself, it never lasts long and I often don't even believe myself... When others compliment me, I always accept them but secretly and deep down I just feel people are simply trying to be kind or maybe they have ulterior motives... Ie they want something from me.

This leaves me feeling incredibly isolated and lonely and often deeply sad... I still keep working on myself and attempt to connect with others and I never give up... I tell myself that my fears and beliefs are just lies from the past, that I'm not as bad as I think, that I'm not disgusting or gross ( harsh I know) but my self belief is very tenuous and gets shattered at the slightest thing.

It takes a superhuman effort for me to maintain my self belief... It really does. Sometimes I am successful but my core is still weak I think... I guess I'm writing because I am so so tired of being stuck in this dark lonely world and I want so much to get out of it...

I am 30 and have never had a partner in my life, have never shared my passions with anyone, my family has never supported me and I want so much for a family of my own but have never dared to connect truly and genuinely with others and I feel so sad about it...

It's what I want more than anything in the world but it utterly terrifies me at the same time ... I just don't know how to believe that anyone would want to be with me.

There's a chap who I really like very much but I don't know what to do... I couldn't face the rejection... I've asked guys out in the past, not many, but there have been times that I've gone for it and thought: "come on girl you can do it! etc etc" which was great. But each time I was met with horrible rejection... And then of course it just confirms my worst fears about myself...

And nothing I do seems to lift me... and you would never know this when you look at me because I present such a confident go-getting active persona which I am in many ways (sorry to sound confusing) but at the same time is a broken heart hidden inside of me for all the years of loneliness and emptiness.

I just want a bit of comfort and genuine joy in my life. I just want a true soul partner to share all of my love with... Gosh I hope I don't sound too mad...

Any advice would be deeply appreciated. Thank you a million!

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Answer

Hi and thank you for sharing your story so openly.
You are right in so many ways with what you say and the words you use.


It's true: Self confidence and inner strength are related with an inner core of emotional stability.

I have been looking at this issue a lot within myself and in others over the last 10 years and discovered that what is missing is simply power. It's a very simple quality.

This core of power is an inner validation which strengthens your emotional foundation.

It's like finding a core in yourself which cannot fail you. That's the base of your being and your life.

Now, this "core" is already inside yourself. All you have to do is reconnect with it.

How do you do that? By shifting direction and using some inner resources that you might have rejected in the past.

Again, establishing this core of power happens simply by shifting directions in your mind. It's not something complicate. It's more like a realization which suddenly hits you.

The greatest obstacle for you finding happiness is not external. It's in you. It's called a comfort zone.

Right now, you are not happy but you are comfortable with a set of mind that you know very well. Shifting direction is definitely like heading to a new land: It's unknown.

Changing your "energy base" means as well saying: "Now I had enough of this inner "landscape" and I am going to do something about it".

Do you see the picture? You have a natural resource in you: it's called renewal power. Basically it is the power to change and evolve.

When you are repeating daily habits and simply doing what you always did, you are using the exact opposite power: preserving power.

Right now, you are standing between two forces: one which is crystallized in habit patterns and the other one which simply wants to move forward and evolve.

Renewal power is a refreshing stream of life force. This is what motivates the movement of the planets, the cycle of the seasons and your inner need to keep evolving.

Usually this renewal power is underused in a person's life. Why is that? Simply because there is a natural tendency to accumulate memories and past experiences. These accumulate in the form of layers in your mind and after a while the renewal power simply gets blocked. There is too much weight and resistance to move forward. Every single memory is like and anchor in the past which stops your from seeing the coming opportunities. You keep on feeding these past memories rather than connecting with your present and future potentials.

Take this example: You take off on a trip to Japan. The first time you get there, you only have a map and a couple of addresses. After a month, you have 10 rolls of pictures, postcards you sent, new addresses, desires, memories, experiences, etc.

You see the difference between the starting point and the end result? The starting point is a virgin space. There is still nothing in the landscape of your mind. After one month travel, you saturate. You want to go home. You have enough memories to last for a whole year.

If you decide to go again to Japan the following year, you will take with you new addresses and all the experience you gained the previous year. Now these past experiences might stop you from seeing new opportunities rising. Basically, your mind is already busy and set in terms of what you want to experience. That's fine if you are happy with your line of travel and evolution.

On the other hand, if you feel you are meeting the wrong people in that trip, it's time to shift your spirit and get a new travel plan. When you do that, you let go of past memories and actively create space in your mind to open up for new opportunities.

This creation of space is essential. You need free energy to receive the new.

That's a metaphor of what happens when you grow up as a human being.

You naturally tend to underuse your renewal power. Why? it's simply the way society functions: "Buy a car", "buy a house", "steady job", "stability", "security".

Renewal force says something different: they say: "go for it", "take risks", "shift", "change", "move on", "throw away", "do stuff you never did before", etc.

Can you see the difference of tone and energy?

This is a fundamental change!

Now, you can stay within the limits of what you already know or decide to go and explore new territories in your mind and tap into fresh resources.

Right now, you are isolated in your effort: basically, you carry all that on your shoulders. When you stop, everything stops.

What you do when you send me an email is reaching out. You tell me: "look, I have been doing that for a while and I don't seem to get anywhere. This is big time effort. What can I do?"

This move of reaching out is a risk. You take a risk and trust your instinct. You talk about the intimacy of your life to a perfect stranger but you go for it.

This "going for it" is exactly the kind of renewal power we are talking about. You explore a new land.

It is an essential move because what you say is: "I am in charge and I want to do something about it".

This exchange of emails is like a little stream of energy you build. The essence of this stream is renewal power. It's a regenerating force.

You send me a deep felt email and I take some time and energy to answer your email. What I do is I nurture this stream of renewal power. I feed it.

Now, the ball is on your side, you can let this fragile stream of renewal force simply die out or you can feed it further and make it grow.

To make it grow, you need to make a second shift in your mind: make this a priority. You see, what could happen now is that you get 10 emails in your inbox. The energy in this email I send could be dissipated between others. You might go for lots of other activities in your week and simply delay the answering of this email or altogether forget about it. You could simply get side tracked and forget about the original impulsion of why you sent an email in the first place.

The moment you sent an email, you planted a seed. Now you can let the seed die out or you can consciously feed it and water it so that it becomes a tree.

The truth is that this seed is in the garden of your mind amongst many other seeds. Maybe bills to pay, a birthday card to send to a friend, work to do, etc.

You see the challenge? You actually choose what comes first. Is it you? your mind? your happiness? or is it all sorts of other things which do not shift your core but simply keep on repeating an existing pattern.

You can obviously read between the lines that I would be honored and excited to work further with you.

You see, what I am sending you is a compliment. How are you taking this one? Do you think it is some form of trick or do you actually trust me? The truth is that I care. I would go out of my way, take a flight tomorrow to come to see you and help you. Why? First, because I care. Second because it is my job.

You see, I am ready to invest time, money and energy to help you. For this to work, you need to do the same: invest time, money and energy. It's a two way thing. If you think you are not worth it, that's fine, that's the message you send me out as well. You are simply saying: "I have other priorities right now"

You might feel I am being pushy here... I am! I am pushy and trying to sell you something. What I am trying to sell you is your own potential. This is not about coaching or a product. It is about something which is in you, which belongs to you. This is a window of opportunity and it is important. Make it your priority number one.

The choice is yours, always.

Respectfully

Francisco

Your power has two aspects to it:

The first one is formless power.

It's the one you feel inside. It's not in words, nor in action. It is there, suspended in your being like a sustaining force.

The second one is in forms and "embodied".

When you make a statement, give an order to someone, define your territory, make a new marketing move, you put your power into action, a word or a behavior.

When you come to a coaching session, your receive both forms of power.

You receive a form of invisible power (first aspect) which is related with the simple action of being in a coaching session. This in itself gives you a base or foundation. This aspect is formless. It belongs to you and is already in you but the coaching space tends to stimulate its flow.

You receive as well techniques to manifest your power through action and new behaviors (second aspect). You will get in touch with new thoughts and beliefs. These new mind patterns are empowering. This means that they are more conductive to empowering your being.

Power transfer

Now, there are many situations where a transfer of power happens without you noticing it. You can for instance take someone's power without you having any right to do so. You can as well loose or give up part of your power without realizing what you give away and how this happens.

For instance, when the week end comes your agenda might be filled with appointments, or tasks you really did not plan but were forced upon you.

You end doing things you don't want to, and simply loose control over your time frame.

Time is very precious. When you give away your natural right to control your time, you give away some form of power.

If you repeat this over and over again without being aware of it, you get frustrated and simply feel powerless.

Does this make sense?

Agreed transfers of power

Here are some examples where an agreed transfer of power happens:

One example is the power given by an organization. When you are a manager you are given an extra power. This is the power to direct and have some form of control over other people's actions, time frame etc. If you are an employee, you accept to transfer part of your power to an authority in exchange of a financial reward. When you sign a contract, what you agree is upon a specific set of power dynamics.

Another example is the power given to a parent. Parents have some authority over their children. This power transfer is a natural instinct and is as well backed up or implemented by society. When the child becomes a teenager, they usually rebel against the authority of their parents. That's the moment they start recovering their power. This transfer of power can mean struggle and tension until a new balance is found.

These two examples (organizations and families) show situations where part of your natural power is transferred to another source.


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Power transfer is called delegated authority is sociology. It is what happens with democracy or organizational power.

What is your power balance

Here are some simple questions to check up your personal situation:


Are there any aspect of your personal life you don't control?


What are they?


Who else is controlling them instead?


What can you do to get your power back?

A basic human right

Mind power building is simply about using what is yours. There are ways you can build "reserves of power" but a more direct way to build power is simply to recover what is already yours.

You realize that this often means taking it back from someone else who has been "carrying" it for you.

Getting your power back means taking responsibility. It means gaining back control over your time frame, personal space, thoughts, emotions, actions and behaviors.

As you can see, basic forms of power have nothing to do with controlling someone else's life. On the opposite.

Disinvest from what is not yours and can't influence, and focus on gaining back control over what is yours.

The real magic of this is that: having power over what is yours is one of your most basic human right.

Sometimes you give away that power because you don't want to hurt anyone or you don't dare to use it.

Freedom of thought

This aspect of your inner power is actually a human right expressly described in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

Article 18 states:

"Everyone has the right to freedom of thought..."

Article 19 states:

"Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression..."



As you can see, being master of your thoughts and beliefs is a basic human right. No one has the right to force your thoughts or beliefs. This declaration of human rights has of course a political connotation. However deep inside, these laws are natural human laws which define human power and dignity. They do set up the ground for healthy relationships between human beings.

Once you are assured of this freedom of thought, the next level of mind power is to have greater influence over the thinking streams in yourself.

Sometimes you feel trapped in a way of thinking which feels like negative or self sabotaging. In these situations, you often realize your own limitations in terms of choosing your "mind set".

This is the moment you start looking for tools to maximize the way your mind functions.

Imagine being able to click on an empowering stream of refreshing thoughts and beliefs. It's a bit like shifting TV channels.

Would you like to be able to choose your "mind channel" and consciously decide about the color of your thoughts?

If you had the power to step out of a sudden negative thinking pattern, would you do it?

There are many streams of wisdom and teachings which aim just at that: having greater influence over what happens in your own mind.

The usual deviation is wanting to control someone else's thoughts. Big mistake. Going that way is precisely like breaking these basic human rights - article 18 and 19.

Remember: with greater power comes greater responsibility. The question is: "what do you do with your mind power?".

Let's take another example and check ideas like manipulation and influence. Check the world of sales. What about a political campaign. It's all about influence, right? The question is: "when does influence become unethical".

Some years ago, I heard that "advertising subliminal messages" were banned from adverting in movie theaters.

Subliminal messages were very short flashes and images which were projected on screen. The "image flash" was too short to be consciously recorded by someone but was still recorded unconsciously by the human mind. The result: if the image was for instance, a picture of a fresh glass of Coke you could have people rushing to the bar at the end of the movie and ordering a Coke without really knowing why.

Society decided: That's one step too far.

When you wake up your natural sources of power, you have to consciously choose your ethical "territory". It is like a resource of energy you can polarize in so many directions. Everyone is responsible for their own actions in that territory.

What about "positive influence"? Take this example: You see a street fight starting in front of a night club. Would you like to have the power to step in there and "positively influence" an aggressor so that the fight stops on the spot?

Another example: One of your friends is on an alcohol related "self destructive loop". Would you like to have the power to positively influence them so that their state of mind shifts? Imagine what would happen if after a short talk with you, your friend says something like: "You know, I don't know what has been happening to me lately, but I can see clearly now what I am doing to myself. No good!"


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We could discuss this further but I feel that at this stage the best solution is to use your intuition and common sense.

With greater power comes greater responsibility. Be wise!

Power of thoughts and emotions

It is relatively easy to understand how to use controlling power over physical elements like time frame and personal space. You can see the results. Now, what about your thoughts and emotions?

The ideas of mind power, personal development, self growth, etc. are all aimed in that specific direction. Some of these streams aim even at controlling or directing other people's thoughts, feelings and emotions. As long as we stay in our own mind, there is no ethical problem. Now controlling someone else's thoughts is crossing the line. There is a clear ethical boundary and the moment you are stepping into someone else's "territory" you fundamentally shift your target.

As this is an ethical discussion, we won't go into it here.

We'll focus 100% simply on what belongs to you.

Gaining back control over your thoughts and emotions is a vast topic, so, we'll need another article for that. There is a simple idea which summarizes it: "You are the master of your mind"

What would you do?

I must confess, some years ago, the expression "mind power" was calling to my mind scary images of "Dark Vadors" trying to convince me into turning to the dark side.

Our lives are full of misconceptions and wrong mediatic programming.

Check it out: what do you see when you think "mind power"?

Do you want to embrace the concept and idea or would you rather... well... simply pretend this kind of things does not exits.

I believe there is a contradiction here:

On one hand the idea of designing your mind can feel super attractive. The idea of being master of your emotions, working with your passions and simply using your mind to the best can feel super attractive.

On the other hand you might reject the very key inspiration stream (mind power) which contains in itself part of the resources you need!


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Let's do some "cleaning" here:


What does the term mind power mean for you?


What are the images which come to your mind when you think of this expression?


If you could have more mind power, would you take it?


Why yes? Why no?


How would you define what is missing in your life for you to have 100% satisfaction?



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Mind power is again "one of those terms". We need to redefine it, get familiar with it, reshape the concept in our minds and give it a fresh new inspiration.

Again, mind power is about life mastery. It is about being in charge of your existence. It means being able to use wisely the full resources of your mind.

There is a difference between "mind power" and "misuse of mind power".

With more power comes greater responsibility.

If you were given your full "mind power" potential, what would you do with it? That's the real question.

What would you do?

Mind anatomy

Personal foundation, self growth, mind power...

These concepts are just emerging in our times. After a period of personal development mainly in the last decade we are developing new ways to look at our mind and the way we function. We are only scratching the surface at this stage, but what appears is exciting and thrilling because we are just starting to understand the mechanisms of the mind and emotions.

You might start to see now how you can influence for the best your mind and emotions.

Is it best to simply leave it there without opening this mystery or would you rather go into it and start unwrapping these profound secrets of your mind?

I feel it is such a powerful movement... We have no choice but to go with the flow and see what appears in front of our eyes.

Physical anatomy is relatively recent. It took humankind about 300 years of exploration to integrate immense amounts of knowledge and experience.

Now, the general architecture of a human body is common knowledge.

If you move to the mind area, you might quickly realize that your knowledge and experience in the field of the mind is very limited.

What do you know exactly about mind anatomy?

At this stage your exploration tools are intuitive and instinctual. It's almost as if you are still afraid of opening a door and seeing things you would rather avoid.

There is a veil at this stage. It's a very symbolical veil which can be lifted and open up a world of mysteries.

You can as well decide to leave the veil the way it is and simply go with the flow and use your instinct and intuition.

Mind power and magic

Magical?

When it comes to mind power there is lots of mystery going on.

Is any of your mind power magical or supernatural. Does it give you access to magic powers? Is this what you are looking for?

Mind power is magical in the same way as the mind itself is magical. It's not magical in the sense of playing tricks or developing super natural abilities.

Mind power has become a tradition but its line is not yet clearly defined. In fact we are only scratching the surface and I don't want to limit its natural sphere. there is much more behind mind power than what we presently know.

Mind power dynamics is a fresh approach which simply gives you the tools to use better your natural power abilities.

It is simple. At birth, you received a certain quantity of power and the goal is to use and put it into practice.

The goal is simply to find ways to use your power wisely and minimalize the friction.

The first goal is to empower your existence and give you the tools to master your life.

This is life mastery. This simply means having a life you love. It means using your natural mind power to strengthen your personal foundation.

Power is one of the essential qualities in your life and finding ways to use it wisely is an essential life skill.

Mind power dynamics is a system which helps you build your mind foundation.

It is the energy behind positivism. It simply gives you extra power and strengthens your inner empowering beliefs.

It simply reveals in you an internal life quality which is very much at the core of your being.

This is an essential step in developing a powerful personal base.

Values and ethics

With greater power comes greater responsibility.

When you step into the field of empowering your life, a natural need for greater wisdom, ethics and clear values rises as well.

An empowering step is to design and choose your own core set of values.

Here are some examples of what these values (inner laws) can look like when expressed:

• Universal Declaration of Human Rights

You heard about that one of course. Check it again to strengthen key inner values

• Professional standards

This is my own set of values as a coach. They came to my mind very intuitively over a period of couple of weeks.

• Samurai code of honor

These are the 7 principles of Bushido. The ancient samurai's code of honor

How to change my life?

How to change my life into successful future. I feel I am not lucky at all

----------------------------------

Hi,

Thank you for your question.

When you look for happiness in the long term, it is essential to start by small steps. Start by doing one thing that makes your really feel good. Think of something which is healthy and energizes you.

Here is an idea: first thing in the morning, wake up and stand up in front of the window and breathe in deeply. Close your eyes and breathe in and out consciously ten times, slowly, no rush. Just do that. It takes you one minute. Then forget about it for the rest of the day. Following morning do it again. So on for a week.

Second week. Keep the same practice and add 5 new practices, like having one peace of fruit in the day, giving at least one compliment in the day to a person you love, etc.

Third week. add another 5 practices. That way you have ten daily habits which stabilize your day into a positive direction. This is where I would start: the foundation.

Success is an accumulation of small steps. A long journey starts with a little step. What is that simple next step for you? You see it? Don't think too far, just do it, start moving. To gain success, you have to take action. Start moving and taking little action, you'll see that soon this timid stream of action can turn into a powerful river. Let go of your doubts, just start!

Enjoy!

How to succeed?

"how to have force of success? how to exploit my inside forces?"

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Simply start acting. Action is what makes things change. You action might look insignificant in the beginning, it soon makes a difference. You inside forces are stabilized by a powerful and strong emotional foundation. On the long term, you clear your mind from doubts, fears, etc.

Let me know in a week how it goes if you feel like. Start acting.

Enjoy!

What to do about disturbances or suffering in life?

What to do about disturbances or suffering in life? How to realize self? Is there any particular way?

------------------------

Hi,

Thank you for your question.

If disturbances or suffering are caused by external sources, like people around you, job situation, etc. the goal is to gain back mastery of your life, mind, emotions, personal space, time frame, etc.

Suffering and unhappiness is related with feeling powerless in these areas. It often means that your personal boundaries are not strong or that you don't know how to manifest them. Building respect for yourself and getting this respect from others is an essential step in spiritual development. It has to do with personal power. The disturbance is always a challenge and an opportunity to grow.

Physical suffering is another story. We are programmed to feel and respond to pain simply because that's the way our body tells us something is wrong. Pain is a warning. At this stage mastering our organic reaction to pain is still a long way but human development might reach a point in the near future where we know more about that.

In what situation are you? physical or emotional disturbance?

Enjoy?

Trusting my first voice

The best way to gain confidence with your intuition and feelings is to respond to your intuition. This means taking action. Take small steps. If you feel unsure take a little step which does not involve a major risk. Doubts and fears are what keeps us from learning, trying and experimenting. You don't have to succeed in everything you try. The goal is to keep on learning by experimenting and trying. Every time you sit back and doubt, your reinforce the doubt. Every time you move and act, you reinforce your trust and initiative

Go beyond your comfort zone, go beyond what you already know!

Enjoy!

How do I overcome the feeling that I cannot learn?

How do I overcome a life long problem with feeling like I cannot learn, when all other indicators would point to the fact that I am at least of average intelligence?

---------------------------------

I am not sure what the problem is... You have a problem because you cannot learn or because of other people thinking that of you?

Learning is a mental ability. This ability is only one amongst other life skills which can make you happy. Other abilities are your emotional fuel, passion, excitement for life, instincts, intuition, creativity, social skills, etc.

If learning does not flow for you, try focusing on what really flows. You have gifts and natural talents. What are they? focus on these...
Enjoy!

I have this urgent need to complete a lot of things

I've just turned 50 and I have this urgent need to complete a lot of things I want to do. My PR has been bad due to economy and also have been looking after my ailing mum who just passed away - so I've been on a 3year hiatus from mainstream. Ii need to get back. I'M DEAD BROKE. And I'm getting confused trying to reinvent myself. Help!!!?

-------------------------------

Hi,

When there is just too much on your mind, what can get you where you want to be is your instinct. Purely your instinct. Focus on the priority number one at that moment and forget about the rest while you focus on that.

You can get where you want to be! All you have to do is take a few steps every day which bring you closer to what you want.

It's great to work on projects you feel really thrilled about. Excitement is your emotional fuel!

The key is really to prioritize. Give attention first to what you want and truly matters to you. Don't let anyone distract you or put more on your shoulders. Stay emotionally free!!!

My best friend is having problems


My best friend is having problems which she can't even mention to me and she is so depressed and its tearing us apart. What do I do?

-----------------------------------------

Hi,

Going down with her is of no use. I know this can sound strange but the best way to help her is to stay in a clear space yourself. If you both go down in a depressed state, who is going to help you both then?

The compassion reflex of picking up on her mood is a wrong one. Her emotions or what is happening in her life is in her, not in you.

So, the first step is not to take responsibility for someone else's feelings or problems. This is by far the most important.

Once you secure that, and you still want to help, see if she is willing to receive help from you or not. As a friend, you can be supportive and come with ideas and insights. For this to work, she needs to be open for it and clearly make a step to start sharing with you.

There are professionals who are trained to help people solve crisis situations. I suggest you pass her my contacts and encourage her to send me a mail to get free advice. If it' beyond my range, I'll refer her to other professionals...

I have a younger brother who's taking all my chances

I have a younger brother who's taking all my chances. He's making my life miserable. What can I do?

---------------------------

Hi,

What chances exactly are you talking about? Professional? Women? Social life? We live in a competitive environment and the one who is the most performing and has the most to offer will usually get the job.

This is a chance for you to be more competitive and develop skills you still do not have. Pick up the challenge and do what it takes to be competitive.

You have very unique gifts he does not have. Everyone is unique and you are as well. What are the unique qualities you have to offer? focus on these.

If you feel miserable it's simply because you let it happen. Don't let this impact your mood and your feelings. You are stronger than that.

Here are three more options:

• Walk to him and tell him what is going. Ask him to step back sometimes and give you some space
• Don't give him a hint about your moves. Keep the rising opportunities for yourself
• Stay a bit more away from him, develop your own network.

Good luck!

I hate looking serious


MY NAME IS PATRICIA. I AM A GIRL. MY QUESTION IS I HATE LOOKING SERIOUS PLEASE IS THERE A WAY I CAN MOLDEN MY FACE AND BE HAPPY OR LOOK HAPPY ALWAYS. I WANT WHEN PEOPLE SEE ME I LOOK CHEERFUL AND APPROACHABLE.

---------------------------

Hi,

Body language is already great. If you smile and express that with your full being, that's how people will see you. If you want to increase that, think about what you say as well. Be generous with the compliments you give to people. Find out what is really special about them and tell them how much you enjoy their company.

Don't sound clingy, attached or desperate. Act free and feel free always. This is extremely magnetic. Someone who expresses this inner freedom is extremely magnetic.

Finding answer

If you need to find answers, the best is to start asking questions.

Reply to this email and tell me what your questions are. I can give it a go. You have thousands of experts online. You can tap into this infinite source of wisdom.

If you feel you need to find the answers yourself (it's okay, it's very stimulating to search and get excited about getting closer and closer) I can ask you the questions and simply let you answer them.

If you feel you don't want anyone else but you to get involved, simply take a white page and write down your question in the middle of the page. Then write down any idea which comes to your mind, even the ones that you believe can't be right.

You might notice at the end that you get a strong feeling about one of your answers...

What are life skills?

Your life skills are your personal abilities. Here are some examples:

• Ability to be happy
• Capacity to love and help others
• Ability to succeed in everything you try
• Ability to face and overcome challenges
• etc.

The list is endless.


Enjoy!

Francisco

I would like to ad more "having and giving" to my life

Hi,


Thank you for your feed back...

Having and giving?

I believe this can start right here. I believe that what's stops us from receiving and giving is resistance, resistance to life. When occasions rise, there is a natural tendency to stop the flow rather than going with it.

Result? everything slows down. Frictions, tensions, problems, increased effort to make it work.

Now, imagine for a second that you say: "YES, and...." in every single interaction you have with people. Instead of resisting life, you go with the flow and understand that every single minute is an occasion to create magic and take life one steps further. How? opening up, moving with it! Respond to an impulsion someone gives you and instead of resisting to it, you can actually take it inside, spin it up and multiply its energy.

Everything your receive is a gift. It is a seed of life force that you can either nourish, energize and transmit further or block and simply let die.

Every minute you make a choice. Now imagine reprogramming yourself to be super conductive to life. No more wasted occasions. You have thousands of second in a day which all have the potential to expand in a memorable event. Synergy is everywhere, all the time, not just in a monthly business meeting.

I am thrilled by who you are and what you can achieve. Give yourself the tools to take your life to the next level. Your potential is infinite.

This email is a seed. For this seed to grow and expand and multiply, you have to give it a spin of your own unique touch.

Enjoy!

I would be honored to collaborate with you in the future

• Accept that there is more! Your present limits are not your real limits.
• Willingness to take action
• Willingness to take risks and experiment
• Accept mistakes as learning experiences
• Accept that you are the architect of your existence
• Gain clarity about what needs to be added, shifted or changed
• Reduce the life skill to a size you can handle! Make it specific, situational
• Have a strategy or a plan
• Clearly identify limiting forces (limiting beliefs, negative mind patterns, personal limits, environment, negative influences, context, old habits, etc.)
• Connect with sources of inspiration
• Have a vision of where you want to be
• Urge, desire, emotional fuel, excitement, motivation. Are they strong enough in you?
  

Developing a new life skill is your choice!

What does it take? 1 hour? 1 day? What you invest in yourself is priceless. Why? because you live with yourself 24 hours a day. Take the skill you want to develop: for instance taking action. Imagine for a minute that your ability to take action goes from x% to 80% or even 100%. How much would it change your life?

You are the priority number 1 in your existence! Your life skills are the key to your happiness and life satisfaction.

There are 3 key qualities you can invest in yourself: Time, energy, money.

How much did you invest in yourself in the last year?

How much do you think you should invest in yourself to be at your best? Maybe it is not much... What do you think? The choice is yours: you have this simple equation:

More life skills = More life satisfaction = More success

How much does it take? My experience as a coach tells me:

One life skill >>> 1 hour coaching + taking action

What you receive in a coaching session is exactly what you need. In your case:

All of that

It is always exciting to step into something new. It's always thrilling to realize that your present limits are not your real limits... What brings you from where you are to where you want to be? Action!




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What could be your next step?

Any time you want to change something in you, in your life, or develop a new life skill, you will face the same type of challenges.

No matter what you want to add to your life, you have to accept these simple facts:

I have to step beyond my comfort zone

Stepping beyond your comfort zone means that you take at least small risks and open to something new.

I have to do it myself

You are the architect of your life. You design your existence and no one can take steps for you. If you want things to move, you have to go ahead and do it yourself.

I have to experiment

Experimenting and trying is still the best way of learning. If you don't try, you'll never learn. Accept any mistakes, rejections or set backs as part of the learning curve.

Enjoy!

Take a white page and write down one of these questions.

Follow your inspiration... What comes to your mind?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Right now, what do you want?

-

What is the number one thing you would like to change in your life?

-

If you could have more of one quality in your life, what would that be?

-

What is your life long dream?

-

What are 2-5 short term goals you would like to accomplish in the next 3 months?

-

If you woke up tomorrow and life was perfect, what would it be like?

-

Want more enjoyment from life? What are the 3 key areas or skills you would like to focus on?

How do I know coaching works for me?

That's the single most natural question to ask before starting. Thanks for asking it. This allows us to move forward much faster.

Your doubts are a natural, valuable protection. They are like intuitive drops that you can't clearly define.

Sometimes doubts can as well hold you back. They stop your from taking steps. They are invisible barriers that stop you from acting.

Doubts mean : "I don't know"

Having doubts is being unsure. I suggest you shift from having doubts to knowing.

I believe that the fastest and most direct direct way of learning is by experiencing, trying!

Do you agree?

You can experience coaching with me any time absolutely for free!

In fact you can experience coaching with 20 different coaches for free. Most professionals in that field offer you free trial sessions.

What I am saying here is not about me coaching you! It is about you moving forward in your life. It is your agenda, your future, your vision.

Try coaching and get a clear answer to your question.

How long to find out? 30 min of your time. That's all!

Sometimes you look back in your past and think:

"I wish I had known that ten years ago..."

Don't make that mistake.

Coaching has powerful tools and solutions for your life!!!

Experience coaching today and decide for yourself. Easy!

Take the lead!

Challenge is part of the coaching game.

It is essential for me to challenge you because the goal is to build extra power.

When you are in a therapy context you tend to focus more on nurturing energies. You focus on sharing and understanding. What you need then is healing the wounds, finding answers, etc.

We can sometimes use this "soft" style within the coaching context when you touch on very sensitive areas of your life.

If I feel you go that way and for instance share a negative past experience, I will of course be sensitive and always respectful and modulate my style to fit the needs of the moment.

However, as most client's situations have to do with gaining more power and simply performing better, challenge is a communication style I will easily use because it is an essential way of connecting with your inner resources. Competition is challenge. What gives you the ability to compete is the ability to stand the challenge and go for it. This is why the coaching space is based on a high energy exchange.

I don't want you to get too comfortable because if you do, you might miss your target altogether.

A coaching session always tends to challenge your comfort zone. This the way you go deeper and connect with your extra sources of power.

Once you link with your inner power within the safety of a coaching session, you wake up these resources for life. You discover how to access new energies inside yourself. This is thrilling and happens spontaneously while you tell me about you goals.

A coaching session does not involve buggy jumping (yet!) but you will certainly feel the thrill and excitement of something new.

To tell you the truth, you don't need me to reinforce your comfort zone. In most cases, your ability to take risks and go for challenges is simply underused. On the other hand, your tendency to stay within the limits of what you already know might already be strong. What you want with coaching is reinforce new mind sets and ideas.

You are always given a virtual "red safety button" which is just there, accessible under your desk. Simply press it and it sends me a warning red signal. It's symbolical but this is the way we work. I always ask you for feed back at the end or during the session to see if you get everything you need from a coaching session.

It is always about your needs and agenda. My task though is to hear even what you are not saying, and make sure that your session hits all its targets.

How does it work?

You have a source of infinite energy in you!

A source that moves you forward!

This source is your emotions, your desires, your ambitions.

Coaching stimulates your ambitions, and offers support on how to...



Turn desires into reality!



Very simple, so simple!

How do you turn a desire into reality?

By acting!

Action!

You take action!



Acting with vision means having a strategy...

Your coach is here to help you with both: Vision and Strategy!



Let me put it this way:

What you do with a coach is:

tell him about your desires, ambitions.

From desires, you create Vision.

From Life Vision,

you design a Strategy, a course of action.



The last stage is implementing that strategy.

You go ahead and act according to your plan

to create the Reality you want.



The coach is always a sounding board... How does that sound?

He mirrors and reflects.

He stimulates you in moving from Vision to reality!

This website is not only about coaching.

Coaching is the external vehicle.

The spirit behind Vital coaching is much vaster.

It is not an abstract philosophy; it is a life approach.

Saying it is spiritual would already be limiting.

Spiritual tends to be associated with religious or love or wisdom.

Life is more than these qualities and the spirit we embody is in everything!

The spirit is present in every aspect of life, not just in so called spiritual practices.

What is meant by that is simple: there is more than what we see with our physical eyes.

Vital coaching functions within that reality.

What is offered in the coaching space is a vision, the potential of what we can be as human beings.

It is not a distant idealized plan. It is realistic and targeted to our personal needs.

I believe that it is when our lives are totally fulfilled as individuals that humankind reaches its greatest potential. Respecting organizations, humankind, countries, governments as well as individual lives is a priority nowadays.

Life coaching is first about you and your individual needs, desires, vision. It is a service to you for your future and your well being.

The roots of coaching are solid and based on clear ethical boundaries. The goal is to empower you as an individual and support you in gaining any skills you might need to function harmoniously in today’s world.

Life is a magic gift and it flows in our bodies. External structures are a reflection of our inner beliefs and are here to serve humankind.

The human being comes first! Always!

We know about our archaic roots. We know about our past. But we need to give ourselves the possibility to grow beyond our past limits. The human spirit has the potential to expand, explore new behavior territories. To do that, we often need to redesign our life environment.

I believe this is today’s challenge. This is the context in which coaching can play a significant role. I wish the value of my coaching is clearer to you now. I am looking forward to meet you or speak with you soon…

Enjoy!

Remember your sport's coach?

Have you been competing in your young age? I don’t know about you, but I have a clear memory of one of my soccer coaches at that time…

We would get ready in the club’s changing rooms, putting on our freshly washed red T shirts.

Before going on the field, our coach would drill us! He would first explain today’s tactics, moving little magnets on a black board designed like a mini soccer field. He would then build up the team’s spirit and confidence by a powerful motivation speech… That’s the emotional fuel, the very essence of a great performance.

Once the game would start, his voice would shake the game and bring out the best of each player’s potential. See last soccer’s world cup for some colorful examples…

Today’s life coaching functions with the same basic ingredients: designing life tactics and visions, building up the emotional fuel, encouraging the action, and celebrating victories!

The fiery motivational style has been replaced by more diplomatic and respectful approaches. But that’s not the main difference: In today’s life coaching, the coach partners with the client. It’s this alliance which creates magic, bringing out the best and most powerful results.

I am excited and looking forward to create one day such sacred alliance with you. I would be truly honored to be a catalyst in your life’s present and future success.

Enjoy!

Get rid of an addiction

The best to get rid of an addiction is to focus on something better than that. Most addictions are self destructive. They literally destroy your life. The only reason they stay with you is because something in you tolerates their presence.

Who or what can do something about it? YOU! Mainly you! You are in charge of your life. You have full responsibility for your actions and behaviors.

The key for shifting is to increase your power. You have an infinite source of power in you which can simply break through any form of self destructive behavior.

The only thing you have to do is decide once and for all to be in charge and win a battle against anything which is stopping your from being where you want to be.

I believe in you simply because I know your potential as a human being.

The moment you take a decision without looking back and aim for where you want to be, nothing will stop you.

Enjoy!

Conquering power and leadership

Do it for more than yourself!

Conquering power means that you are connected. Your actions are synchronized with a larger reality.

There is no conquering power without a spirit and a cause.

If you merely rely on yourself and your own isolated desires, your conquering power is very small and limited. You won't impact on people around you!

Conquering power is the force behind earning money. It is the force behind getting a diploma. That's the basic self centered conquering force. That's what you do for yourself.

To increase your level of manifestation power, find the cause you are working for, deeply. This cause can for instance be the well being of all life on this planet.

You have values in you. Your being has a vision of what the planet can be.

When you look only at your well being and your own comfort, that's fine, great, no problem. You then get a basic "amount" of will power to protect and preserve your own life.

If you want to drastically increase your level of manifestation and conquering power, all you have to do is take a leadership role.

Leadership involves greater impact and influence on those who are around you.

Leadership is a quality which is given to you like a form of blessing. You can take a leadership position by force (that's autocratic!) or you can develop your leadership skills and let that extra conquering power merge with you.

With greater power comes greater responsibility.

As a leader you have a greater sphere of influence. Your behavior will impact on a larger sphere of people. This is why it is not given to everyone.

Why? Because you must learn to speak in the name of something vaster than yourself. If you are a leader you speak in the name of a larger reality, group of people or spirit.

Here is a simple truth: when you use your conquering power, the environment will react. People might try to stop you.

Why? Because there is competition.

When you set up yourself on a conquering course, your life shifts because you are using your own will power. You transform yourself and your environment.

Here is another truth: a part of your environment does not want change. Your environment is sustained by what we call preserving power or conservative power. It is a positive force which simply maintains structures, in your life and in your mind.

The preserving force is what you challenge every time you use your conquering power. Conquering means opening doors. It means challenging people and making them readapt to a new "you" or a new behavior.

This goes for big steps and as well for small steps.

The reason you sometimes don't breakthrough is because of these "freezing" forces in and around you. They are the resistance.

To breakthrough, your conquering power has to be stronger than the resistance.

Suppose you want to go for a career shift and start your own business. This will impact on the company you are presently working for, your family, friends and environment. It will as well create competition with those who already are active in that field.

In other terms, when you take the decision to start your own business, this will impact on maybe hundreds of lives. "Impact" means that everyone has to slightly reshape their world because of your move. Your present boss will have to find new staff, your family might need to move, etc.

This is why conservative forces test you. They are the underlying power sustaining society. These forces are saying: "Are you for real? Do you truly mean to start your own business or is this only a pipe dream?". This is why they put you to the test.

You see, change takes energy. It stresses your environment by asking it to readapt to a new equilibrium.

We live in a very subtle balance of forces. Preserving forces are like a form of gravity. They keep society together and stop it from splitting in all directions in incoherent ways.

So, what can you do to take action? Simple: build up your conquering power.

If your conquering power is too weak, things won't move. Your boss, family, company, city will freeze your moves before you even start.

What you do is build up momentum. Gather information, get ideas, design a business plan, gather funds and sources of financing. All these steps are telling your mind: "Change is coming. Something new is happening"

Once your mind is ready, you start telling others who will hopefully join and support you with your plans.

This moment of opening is the key. This is when things can shift into change or get frozen by resistance.

To be able to breakthrough, you must understand what forces are involved and why they exist in the first place. They are simply part of nature (like gravity!), they are part of the human mind .

To overcome gravity, you concentrate your efforts and will power. You gather knowledge, know how, and build a space shuttle able to breakthrough resistance. That's one option.

Seagulls on the seashore found another way to stay in the air. They master another force of nature, the wind blowing on the sand dunes, and use that force to fly forever.

Conquering power works in a similar way. We were born with it. It is part of our mind, our inner engine. We used this force to survive in primal times.

It is still in us today, organized, transformed, transmuted. It is this same original instinct translated in modern time: stock markets, trade, selling propositions. Today's economy is a reflection of the same original conquering power. It is related with the desire to create, the desire to earn more, the desire to conquer a new holiday get away on a Pacific Island, etc.

Some years ago, I saw a fascinating program: the crocodile Hunter. You are maybe familiar with it. This guy would catch a 3 meters long crocodile on his net and then try to keep it immobile. As he was laying on this massive powerful beast, he uttered: "She is building up! What a beauty!"

Building up! Building up energy to overcome resistance. Then she (the crocodile) exploded into this massive burst of energy giving the crocodile hunter a solid first class Aussie rodeo.

Conquering power! That's what this female crocodile was building up.

Nature invented many strategies to breakthrough preserving forces. There is a way as long as you collaborate with the forces of nature. It's a matter of mastering your own resources and understanding the underlying dynamics.

Now here are the good news: at least some aspect of your environment wants to change. This is what we call the renewal forces. Transformation. Change. These are part of nature as much as the preserving forces. Look at the cycle of the planets around the sun. This movement creates the cycle of the seasons which is the force behind birth and renewal in nature. Organic growth is a permanent changing process.

Then, you have the creative force. The creative power. 99.9% of civilization and today's society was inexistent 2'000 years ago! Where did it all come from? How did it rise? It wasn't the will of one single man. It's not even a creative process humankind controls. Cities simply rise. What we are doing as humans is responding to instincts. First you decide to put a roof on your head, then you go and get some food. The rest is history.

Check an orangutan under a tropical shower. It takes big leaves from the palms around it and puts them over his head. It's a reflex. Rain is cold! It is uncomfortable. That's how everything started: protecting ourselves from elemental forces.

A city is a simple expansion of the same original instinct. This is creative power.

From a leaf on our head to a community of 12'000'000 people!

Now, the frames within the sky scrapers could be called the conservative forces (nothing to do with a political party!). They are the sustaining power.

The creative and conquering forces are there as well. Conquering more space. Expanding technology. In Vitro Fertilization (!!!). It all comes from a creative drive which moves civilization forward.

If you want more conquering power, simply connect a little bit more with that part of nature which want to evolve and create. Use this force in a creative and wise way. Conquering power is strong in and around you. The only reason you would not breakthrough is because the preserving forces are too strong for a reason or another.

In another article, we'll look at it from a very human and practical point of view.

11 steps to find your conquering power

Assume a leadership position

Act in the name of a larger reality. If thousands of people were doing what you do, what would be the impact on your local community, your country, the planet or humankind?

See life as a battle

When you think battle, winning, you straight away shift your mind from your daily mood to a high energy mood.

Focus on win-win

You don't want to annihilate resistance, you want to join forces whenever possible. Conquering can be diplomatic, no need to be destructive.

Build up trust

Every action has an impact on your environment. Be true to yourself and those who believe in you. Be authentic.

Gather your weapons

These are the tools you need to have an impact. It can be life skills, for instance communication skills. It can be key habit patterns, like healthy eating. It can as well be real tools like a lap top or the latest cell phone.

Join forces

Recognize those who are on the same stream and join forces with them. Create strategic alliances. Get support and offer support in return. This is the power of uniting people in the name of a common cause.

Challenge yourself!

Systematically stepping beyond your comfort limits gives you a kick of power and energy. It stimulates your survival instinct and connects you with the forces of nature. You can do that with challenging sports or immersing yourself in challenging nature environments.

Train yourself!

Make sure that the skills you need are effective and updated! You must feel on top and ahead in many ways. This gives you as well the competitive edge!

Use your mind!

Make sure that your mind is your greatest ally. Replace self defeating beliefs by self empowering ones. Be superconductive to life. Empower your mind.

Be awake! Be aware!

Listen to signs. Use your instinct and intuition. Synchronize your actions. Be aware of perfect timing. Develop a sense of peripheral vision and total awareness. Balance determination with flow, wisdom and opportunities.

Keep in mind the larger picture

No matter how good you perform, 99% of what you created on the physical level will be gone within 100 years. What remains is a memory of a behavior or energy pattern which you embedded when you were alive. It is the sum of all the actions, thoughts and emotions you performed over your whole life time.

No fear!

Fear is the greatest slow down force you can find in your mind.

On top of that, it's useless 90% of the time, so why bother? Why let an irrational instinctual reaction break your rhythm and self sabotage your chances.

No way! That' s what you can say right now. No way!

The best trick is to feel the fear and do it anyway.

The second best trick is to surround yourself with people who dare.

The third best trick is to have an empowering affirmation. No way! is a good one to remember, specially if you have a challenge coming up in a couple of days.

Irrational fears don't stop you anymore from taking steps because you breakthrough no matter what. Now, you see! Now you simply move with this empowering flow of energy which supports your actions.

You are born superconductive to life. It's gift given to you. It's a birth right.

You have it in your blood. You have it in your skin. This fire burning with passion that nothing can remove. So!

Nothing can slow you down. You know where you are going.

A simple equation isn't it?

No fear!

Do you realize how much time you spend hesitating, wondering or worrying. The amount of energy which goes in feeding resistance is immense. It's incredible what you can achieve when you simply clear doubts and trust your instincts.

To do this, you need two things:

The first one is: make sure that what you are about to do is your best choice

The second one is: Extra conquering power which allows you to overcome resistance.

An hesitation is warning light. Originally it is an instinctual reflex to make sure that you don't hurt yourself. It is concentrated in this moment just before you start moving or give up.

Now, time and energy are precious. You can't afford to waste any of these. Time and energy are two key essences and when you hesitate or spend too much time guessing, you simply throw this energy in big buckets through your window. Basically, you waste it!

When you get an idea, usually, instead of going for it, you develop all this endless testing of it. You simply kill the impulsion and tell your spirit: "I don't trust you!".

The whole idea is to reduce this "testing time". In fact the idea is to totally delete and develop clarity and synchronicity so that action and inspiration are totally aligned.

This is what makes a massive difference in life. It's when there is no delay between the thought and the action.

To do this you need this clear mind. You need to be clear about your inner vision, strategies and recognize a flow of opportunity when you see one.

Going for action means working with the forces of nature. Will power is multiplied by trust and inspiration. Ad emotional fuel, conquering power and you get the picture. You can basically break through about anything when your remove hesitation and friction.

Can you see this potential. Can you see how this attitude shift can impact on the way you live your life?

You are not supposed to get it right every time. Perfectionism can be an incredibly slow down force which is simply the expression of the fear to fail.

You fail when you hold back. No matter what! You win when you become super conductive an delete resistance.

90% of what you call mistakes are simply life experiences. It becomes a real mistake when you keep repeating a learning experience precisely without learning anything from it. So experimenting is okay! It's not just okay, it is the best way of learning in life.

One of the most precious life skills is the art of resilience, the art of bouncing. Imagine how much your life improves when you discover the art of dealing with set backs and what you call rejection.

The art of dealing with set backs is truly the skill which replaces hesitation time.

Instead of hesitating over one single step for two days, try 20 small steps in all directions to get a a feeling of your different options. You see, experimenting is the real alternative to hesitation.

The best way to test the water is not to stand 2 meters from the pool, it is to stick your toe in the water. You get a direct answer in no time!

Hesitation gives you nothing. It's simply a loop of energy waste. Experimenting on the other gives you answers, feelings and real responses to your answers. It gives you key information to make the right choices.

What truly deletes hesitation time is extra conquering power. This is the force which moves your forward and stimulates you to take action. Stop delaying and start living!

Anger management

Questions

Is there something you want to tell to your partner?

How would you describe your situation right now?

What is the ideal picture?

What would you like instead of anger?

How would you express that?

What is anger?

What is your anger?

How do you get rid of anger?

Is it okay to be angry?

Are you abusing your partner?

How to overcome anger?

How to use anger?

Dealing with anger?

---------------------------------

What are your options when dealing with anger?

Suppression?

Use it as an emotional fuel to break through something?

Have a good fight?

Express it?

Hold it and express it when the moment is right?

Control?

Let go?

Forgive?

---------------------------------

Techniques

Forum space

Solutions

Emotional freedom

Forgiveness

Peace

Control

Suppression

Positive use

I am angry with everything



Hi,

Anger is simply a fire or energy which is trying to break through. There is always a positive source of energy behind it and anger is the only way your mind manages to express that energy.

Behind anger, there is a positive source of power.

Look at a volcano, what do you see?

On one hand a volcano is this formidable source of energy. Engineers know now how to canalize that energy and use it to heat water in villages. An active volcano is as well incredibly magnificent. One of the great shows of nature.

On the other hand, a volcano can be powerfully destructive and annihilate life all around it.

How does a volcano work on the first place? A simple process: excess of pressure underground.

Your anger is the same: an excess of pressure inside. You can use this excess of pressure to channel it in the most creative directions or you can use it as a destructive force. It is energy wanting to break through.

What you need to add are new skills to use your source of energy in a creative way. Trying to suppress a volcano won't work. The energy is there. You have to use it.

How do you use that energy?

Take a white page and write down what comes to your mind.

What is the best use of the energy you have in you?

Enjoy!

Establish better boundaries for yourself

Learn to say "no", "not now.." or "Maybe later..."

The first key to establish new boundaries is to accept that you won't please everyone with that. At least not in the beginning. If you have to say "no" to someone, "not now..", or "Maybe later...", it always requires the other to readapt to a new limit.

It's okay. Gaining back control over your life goes with expressing that power in a diplomatic way without truly hurting anyone. You are in charge of your existence and you should really be in control of your time, personal space, activities, belongings, etc.

This gaining back control always means that someone else has to accept that you decide for yourself.

Repeat your message

This is the second key to establish a new boundary: repetition, follow up. Repeating a message is the best way to make sure the other gets it. It works in any situation: profession, relationships, friendships, etc.

Let go of trying to control other people's lives

It will make it much easier to protect your personal space if you focus on yourself. The areas where you can express you "boundary power" are the areas which truly belong to you. Other people's lives, activities, behaviors, agendas is their business. It is their responsibility, not yours.

Enjoy!

Protect your personal space

If someone gets angry or upset next to you, you have two ways or strategies to deal with it:

Stay detached

This means laughing at what is happening and not identifying yourself with the other person's emotions. Stay cool and don't get involved.

Someone else's anger is simply a form of provocation and an invitation for a fight. You don't have to go with it. Don't take responsibility for the other person's emotions, stay cool and laugh inside.

When you stay detached, what you are doing is protecting your inner space, your mind space and not allowing intrusive negative emotions to touch you

Strengthen your boundaries

Put distance between you and the person. Don't tolerate this in your environment. You want harmony and peace around you and there is no reason for you accepting a destructive behavior in your personal space.

Strengthening your boundaries means using your protective or preserving power. This means preserving your space from external attacks.



Developing these two skills is essential if you want to stay master of your space and strengthen your personal foundation.

Staying detached is a very powerful strategy when there is no other choice. However, anger is a very penetrative and challenging force and it requires and energy to stay centered. Imagine yourself next to a heavy source of disturbing sound. How long before you just give up and explode with irritation.

You can of course train yourself to deal with disturbance by strengthening your mind power and personal mind space.

An easier solution is to simply step back and stay away from that disturbing sound. Simply don't tolerate or allow it in your personal space.

Protect your personal space by keeping away any nuisance. Close your door to it. You don't have to accept it in your house. What you need is harmony, peace and respect in there, not a permanent disturbing sound in the background.

How to deal with a toxic friend

My husband and I have this friend who we feel is using us.

His cars have been reaped, his dog almost died and he took in his delinquent nephew, all of which we are doing most of the work for him. I got mad at him and told him we would no longer take on his responsibilities, but he talked to my husband and my husband said he really needs us.

I have caught him trying to lie to us on more than three occasions. The only thing he has done for us is rush the remodeling of his house, which we are living in, so we can be more comfortable... We have paid well worth his time and money for the remodeling.

His daughters are spoiled rotten and he tries to use them against me to get me to take them places and do things for his family. We have enough problems of our own being two full-time students in college and work full-time jobs and care for our 11 pets. I don't know how to make him leave us alone and just let us be with out moving out, but even then he will still be working with my husband, who feels the same way I do to, but doesn't know what to do either.

Our friend is too defensive and childish to talk to. there has to be a way to make him realize he has to take control of his problems and fix them himself. If you have any advise I would sure appreciate it.

---------------------------------

Hi,

It is your right to protect your house, personal space and family. You have not only the power to do it. You have as well the right to do it.

The challenge with toxic friends is to realize that what is happening has nothing to do with friendship. It is a battle for energy and power in the disguise of a friendship.

I have have the feeling that you don't owe that person anything. The fact that he does work with your husband does not give him the right to drain your personal space, actions, etc.

The most important thing to realize is that you and your husband have the right to use your power simply not to let him in.

If he comes visiting at unexpected moments simply be firm: "Now is not a good time...". Even if he insists, keep the line.

When you want to shift a pattern like this one, you need to repeat the message over and over again until it goes through. He won't like it, might get angry, etc.

Again, it is not about friendship. It is a battle for power. It's his power against your power. If he comes in, he wins.

Simply be firm and repeat your message. It might take a week or even longer. Be ready for his anger or other strategies but stay focused. Your number 1 priority is to protect your family space. Don't let anyone but your partner and yourself be in control of what happens in your house.

If it's therapy he needs, there are professionals for that. Your partner is not responsible for someone else's well being. Don't take responsibility for someone else's life. This creates an immense load of extra stress.

Simply dare to use your power, stand there and don't bend

Good luck and stay in touch

Francisco

I can't say "no"



I can not communicate effectively with people or public and the second one is i can not say "no" to anyone, so in this way i have wasted much of my time. How can i overcome my this problem. plz

-------------------

Hi,

In both situations, what you need is extra power and confidence.

When you say "yes" to someone when in fact you want to say "No", it's their power against your power. You say what they want to hear and your loose "the battle".

How to shift that?

The reason you say "yes" is because you don't want to hurt anyone. You are afraid that if you express yourself, you'll simply start a fight or a conflict.

People can get upset. The reason they get upset is because they loose control over you actions.

They realize they are not getting what they want. Them getting upset is their way of fighting with your own will power.

When you give a message to an audience (with public speaking), it is the same dynamic. You have a message you want to get it through and you feel psychic resistance. This impacts on your mind and emotions. Makes you doubt, sweat. Stage fright.

Can you see how in both cases, all you need is extra power?

The question is :"where can you find this extra power?"

Good news! It is already in you. You are simply not using it.

Imagine a dense forest. Reaching the place of power in you is like creating a path in that forest. You need to clear vegetation and simply open the way.

These pathways you open in your mind are power channels. they are the power architecture in your mind which allow energy to flow freely.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Another answer

The only thing you need is extra power and confidence, right?


Where can you find it? you have extra power already in you. The truth is that you don't dare using it yet. You are afraid to hurt others by rejecting them. The truth is that when you put aside what you want, you betray your own spirit: yourself.

When there is a battle of energies, there not not need to be a looser. Everyone can win. When you are able to deliver your message to an audience, it's everyone who wins.

When you say no to someone, you are simply saying: I have other priorities. It might mean: I need to spend more time with my wife, I have another client on the line, I need to study, I need to go out and have some fun.

If you want to say "no" without hurting, you can say: "Look, I would love to help you with that, but I can't... I have an appointment in 5 minutes and I have to go". When you tell people why you can't say "yes" to them, everyone understands and accepts better.

You are respectful and don't want to hurt anyone, now protect your mind space, personal space, your time. You are in charge and in control of your life. No one else is. It is your right to use that power.

Good luck and stay in touch

Francisco



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another answer

The extra power you look for is already in you. You were born with it. The reason you don't express it is because you are afraid of going to battle.

Right now, you are missing daily opportunities, not taking your chances because you don't dare speaking from your own core.

You have that power. Express it. Say no when you want to. You'll feel great as soon as you do.

Nothing and nobody can stop you. It is your birth right so express it.

Going on stage? the same! You can take the sword and go on stage right now. You are confident and successful and are able to deliver your message to any audience!

You know your target. You know exactly what you want. So, do it!

Your mind is clear! You are perfectly aligned. You are in charge! You are in power!

You can do it anytime, anywhere. You are diplomatic and even when you say no, people still respond to you in a friendly way.

This is your nature. It is your mind frame. It is your essence and the core of your being and obstacles have disappeared forever.

take care and stay in touch

Francisco

Change job

The first step is to make a quick assessment of where you are at:

• What does your dream job look like?
• What realistically can you expect?
• How competitive are you on the market place?
• Are the other areas in your life secured?
• How do you feel about your past professional experiences?
• What can you get in a new position that you are not getting right now?
• Do you need extra training?
• What steps did you already take?
• What key information do you still need?
• What are you deep reasons for shifting jobs?

At the end, what takes the decision is an emotional impulsion. To strengthen this emotional fuel, the best is to envision the future and to gather power to take steps.

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Change my diet

I don't know where to start

Here are some common unhealthy eating patterns

•Late dinner
•Lots of snacks
•No regularity in the meals
•No breakfast
•Only 2 meals a days
•Large meals with second serving
•Sweets, candy bars, etc
•Poor in vegetables
•Poor in fruit
•Lots of meet and fish
•Lots of bread
Do you recognize any of these?

Here is what you can do for a start: simply choose one of these and replace it by a better pattern. No need to take a drastic step. We are talking about a very simple and small affordable step you can take.

Here are some healthier examples:
•Regular meals
•Replace bad snacks by good snacks (fruit, muesli bar, etc.)
•Cook smaller meals
•More veggies, less meat
•Buy more fruit
•…
Give yourself 1 week to establish 1 simple change and nothing else. Just choose one, write it down on a "post it" and stick it on your fridge as a reminder.

Once this habit feels established and natural for you, focus on a new step.

Choose what feels natural for you, something which does not require a big effort.

The key for long term success with eating patterns is to focus on fun, healthy and enjoyable food, and find out natural habit patterns that fit you.

Enjoy!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Change my life

Change comes with taking action. What stops you from taking action can be lack of confidence, lack of strategy, lack of energy or resources, lack of skills or emotional fuel, etc.

All of that can be overcome with some determination and power. This is what we focus on in a coaching session: building up confidence and support to take small affordable steps.

Stepping beyond your comfort zone is always a challenge. No matter what step you take, changing something in your life always creates pressure or stress on your system. This is why there is a natural tendency to resist change.

The way to handle that is to increase your awareness and get familiar with the emotions and forces which are involved in any change.

These are concepts and ideas. Once you want to change something, the best is to focus on very practical steps you can take.

Accept that there is always an opening or some form of minor risk involved but don't let resistance emotions stop you from taking action.

Every time you sit back and hesitate, you feed your doubts. If you want to build up trust and confidence, the best is to take action in one way or another.

Enjoy!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Change my life style

The best is to take a white page and write down the options which come to your mind. The easiest way to start changing your life style is by taking small affordable steps.

Any step you take should be oriented towards gaining more fun, freedom and excitement from life. Why? because unless you are excited about the changes you make, they won't stay for long.

Don't take hard steps that limit your spontaneity and freedom. If you focus on discipline, you are looking at short term success. If you want long term success, the best is to follow your instincts, inspiration and excitement.

Allow space for creativity. Don't rigidify frames or habits. Focus on increasing personal freedom instead.

Enjoy!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Change something in me

What do you want to change in you? Usually the answer will be "an emotion", "my way of responding to a situation", "the way I feel about myself", "the way I relate to others", etc.

All these are mind patterns.

What is a mind pattern? It is a thought form, an emotion, a habit, etc. All these are the result of either conditioning or genetic imprint.

Conditioning is the result of education and it can be changed. All you have to do is to reprogram your mind.

If your computer is not efficient, you'll usually ad a piece of software, reprogram an aspect of the procedure, etc.

Your mind functions in a similar way. To shift a mind pattern, all you have to do is replace it by a new more efficient pattern.

Here are some examples:

If you tend to doubt a lot, all you have to do is replace doubt by trust and confidence.

If you miss social skills, go and get what you are missing.

How do you do that? By retraining yourself, retraining your reaction in very specific life situations.

You start by reducing the challenge to a size that you can handle. Divide the problem in very small parts and focus on one aspect at a time.

In the beginning of the week, you identify a key area you want to focus on. For instance if you want to strengthen your confidence, you consciously focus on taking risks or steps you did not take before. You go beyond your comfort zone by taking action. Focus first on small affordable steps. Once you feel confident with small steps, take bigger steps, and so on.

Focus on one target for 1 week. Make it your priority and focus number one.

The following week focus on a new target, for instance communication skills. Develop that skill for a week and move on to another target the following week.

Change will happen if you take action. This means taking steps and going beyond the limits of what you already know.

It is possible, easy, and within your range.

Action is what takes you from where you are to where you want to be.

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Change the way I act

The best is to gain focus first: take a white page and write down exactly the behavior you want to change. Take a specific life situation and describe in detail how you behave in that situation.

Take then another white page and describe the way you would like to act in this situation.

Take a real example and write in detail your answers.

Next step is to train yourself in this new behavior. The best is to be extremely aware next time you face this situation. Observe your emotions, feelings and what is happening in you. Then try to act according to what you feel is your best behavior in such situation.

Another option is to simulate the life situation you described and train your new behavior. The key with training a new behavior is repetition. It might not flow and feel really awkward in the beginning. Very soon though, you will notice how you new behavior starts growing and taking roots in you.

Enjoy!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Change the way I relate to others

The best to change the way you relate to others, is to make it very specific. Describe the situation and the key behavior you want to change in that situation. For instance start by focusing in the way you greet someone.

Focus on your attitude in these 5 first seconds. Spend 1 week focusing only on that aspect of relating. The following week, focus for instance on the way you say good bye. Think of words, smile, body language. Etc.

To establish a new behavior, the key is training and repetition. You have to repeat your behavior a few times (real life and simulation) until you feel confident with your new skill.

Here are the 4 simple steps to establish a new behavior:

• Choose a very specific situation in which you want to change your behavior.
• Find out what your new behavior could be. Describe it in detail on a white page.
• Practice in simulation. Repeat until you feel confident
• Do it in real life

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Moving house

Ask yourself these questions:

Why do I want to move?

What will I find in my new location that I don't have right now?

Is this the most important step I can take right now?

What are my possible destinations?

What is my financial plan for this move?

Is this plan realistic?

What is exciting about moving to this new location?

What will it change in my life?

Is there anything which needs to be secured before making the move?

Take a white page and answer these questions one by one. It will give you clarity and focus towards your target.

Enjoy!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Something has to change

Here are some key ideas on how to change:

Change is stressful

You, like anyone else have a natural resistance for change. Why? Because change requires energy. It requires the integration of new mind patterns. This means that if you engage into changing something in you, you'll be under pressure or stress during this transition period.

Sometimes you will choose for stability rather than change simply because of that. Stepping beyond your comfort zone and trying something new is challenging no matter what.

I love action! I take risks!

To go for change, you need to totally shift your mind set. Action is your friend. Every time you sit back and hesitate, you feed your doubts and comfort yourself in the present situation. Going for change means picking up the challenge. You go for it even though you know that taking action means stepping beyond your comfort zone.

The easy way

The easy way is to get help! Instead of seeing change like a mountain to climb, see it like a swim into a refreshing stream. You can reinvent the wheel if you want to. You can as well simply benefit from other's experience. The hard way is to isolate yourself and reject interaction and sources of support.

Look beyond

Focus on what comes after. Focus on what you can do once you changed what you needed to. Your mind, body and life are your vehicle. The sooner you make that vehicle performant, the sooner you can focus on taking it to the next step. Get rid of what holds you back. Move forward. Don't stay half way.


Enjoy!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

I am determined to take steps. Not sure what they are

Hi,

Determination is the first step. This means you are on the right track. Your will power gets things moving.

The next element you need is a strategy, an approach, a system to take you from where you are to where you want to be.

You want a plan of action! You want the vision!

Connect with your destiny line. Your destiny line is not a fixed set of events: it is an energy stream, an energy line which supports your actions.

The first step is to gain clarity.

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

I would do anything as long as it works

I like that! This shows that you have determination. Your will power is an immense resource of energy in you. You are in touch with that resource. This is your first fuel.

"Do anything as long as it works"?

You want solid results, right? You are ready to invest but want to reach your target as well.

What is the target? Greater harmony, power, happiness?

Happiness is a life path.

I can help you find what you are looking for. Contact me

vitalcoach

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

I am not sure things can change



Let's make a test: raise your arm! put it down again!

You have some form of control over your physical body right?

What about your mind? Can you change an emotional pattern in your mind? The trick is to find the key to unlock and give yourself the power.

How much did you know about mathematics when you were born? How much do you know? What happened? How did you learn what you know? Training, developing new skills.

For me, you are fine as you are. I have total respect for you, no matter what you feel inside. I accept you the way you are.

You are the one in charge. You are in power and the decision is yours.


Enjoy!

Labels: change in life, change in my life, change life, change life style, change my heart, change my image, change my life, change myself, change of life, change your brain, change your life, changing life, changing life style, changing world, changing your life, how can I change, how to change, how to change careers, how to change life, how to change myself, how to change something, how to change your life, life change, life changing, life changing event, life changing events, life changing experience, life changing experiences, mid life career change

Making the right choice

Making good choices has a lot do with seeing the underlying dynamics and seeing where actions take you.

It is tough to make a choice when you don't have all the information, so the best is of course to gather all the tools you need. You need to own all the key information to make your choice.

Saying "yes" to something always means letting go of something else. It is this conflicting interests zone which gets us hesitant at the crossroad.

To let a choice mature, it is essential to test the waters and take small steps in many directions to see how it feels.

You desire, passion, emotional fuel will do the rest! I'm sure that your instincts have been guiding your steps in your past. This time again, they'll color your spirit and guide your steps. Trust!

Making choices effectively

To make choices more effectively, you need to have all the info. Gather all you can and get expert advice as well. Most of the times there is no need for guessing: you can use other people's experience.

If you are struggling with daily simple choices, there is a simple way to overcome this "doubting" pattern. It is by alternating your choices: one day right, on day left. You learn more by exploring all the possibilities than by thinking there is only one right way for you. We do walk with one right foot and one left foot, not one right and one wrong foot.

Making choices is about gaining clarity as well. Together, we could work on that. I can show you simple super effective techniques to clarify your vision.

As you can see, there are many strategies available which help you in making the right choices. Once you learn more about these skills, you'll realize that making choices can be fun and thrilling

Next step? you decide!


Enjoy!

Take an important decision

Before you can decide you have to find out what your options are.

Ask yourself these question to gain clarity:

• Is there something you have to let go if you choose for one of the possible directions?
• For every option, you could choose, what is it that you would have to let go of?
• Do you have enough resources, energy and time to follow up with your choice?
• Are there any conflicting interests?
• Where is resistance coming from?
• Is this resistance in you or outside of you?
• What is this resistance telling you?
• Are there any risks involved if you take your decision?
• What are these risks?
• How will you feel once you take your decision and move forward?

Sometimes, all you need is simply a little bit of extra power and confidence. Is this the case for you?
Enjoy!

I have no time, energy or money to invest in myself

Why? I believe you are the most important person in your life. If your car has little scratch, you go and fix it. Are you worth it? You! Your being! You are your greatest asset and your well being and full life satisfaction should be your priority number 1.

Invest at least time and energy in yourself. Take at least a couple of hours in a week to invest in yourself, gain new skills, gain life satisfaction.

What would you do to nurture your being?

I hesitate too much



Every time you sit back and hesitate, you feed your doubts and strengthen your present situation.

The key to take steps is to accept that your actions won't be perfect. The best way to learn is to experiment. To clear your doubts, and get answers, you test the waters with some small steps.

The key behavior here, is to take small non committed steps instead of hesitating.

Another key behavior is to choose one time right, on time left: alternate your choices and give some space to both options.

To stop hesitating, you have to train a new behavior in simple non challenging life situations. It would take you just 1 week to ground this new behavior in your life. Taking action is a life skill you can learn and train.

When you stop hesitating and take action with trust and confidence, your life will radically shift and flow with renewed freshness.

Enjoy!

Francisco

Give structure to your life

See structures as pillars, invisible architecture that sustains your mind. Have a good balance between freedom and structure.



Have clear boundaries

You are the master of your space. Know your limits and send out a clear message. Mutual respect of boundaries is the base to harmonious relationships.



Give when you want to give, not when you are forced to

We humans have a natural need to share. Be sure that the choice is yours. Be generous when the time is right.



Be cool, always!

Even when you get angry! Play with your emotions rather than the other way around.



Face your fears

Go into the forest at night (Not in Central Park…). Stand half naked under a tropical storm. Just go beyond your comfort zone.



Have ambitions

Motivate yourself. Feed your ambitions. Develop strategies for your future. Develop your life vision and act towards it.



Develop your social skills

Practice self-confidence… Be generous in your attitude. Smile. Be open.



Clarity!

Develop a clear mind. Touch on clear sources of knowledge. Don’t overload yourself with useless information.



Integrate the term “power” in your life

Power is beautiful… If you don’t like power, then power will not like you either!. Power is great. If you have negative feelings towards that term, simply realize that those feelings are related with “abuse of power” not power itself.



Actively care for life and other human beings

Life is a gift! Use part of what you gain to protect and preserve what you love. Simply care!

Confidence boost

Hi,

The key to self confidence is power. It is personal power. It is what I call instinctual power.

You have sources of energy in you, you are not using. The goal is to wake them up and simply use your full resources.

The number one reason you don't use your power is because you are afraid to hurt anyone or get negative reactions.

Confidence is a battle for power. When you feel a confidence gap, you simply let your mind being invaded by what others think or believe. This freezes your move.

To gain confidence, you need to accept to go into this battle of energies and simply reaffirm what you want and what you need.

You give yourself space to do it. The moment you take steps in that direction, you do shake your environment. You stay focused on your target and simply go for it.

Don't make yourself smaller than you are. You have the power to win! Anytime!

Establishing your power means giving yourself the victory. Whatever the race is, you will win! Go for it and hit your target, whatever your target is.

Good luck and stay in touch

Francisco

Confidence building

Your next step : self confidence


Confidence is a skill you can develop and learn. The most importa