< Break up - For men > BACKUP

I called the cops because she would not get off me and we both went to jail

2010-02-23T04:06:00.000-08:00

Just got that one...

"I was doing great, no contact for about 2 weeks. Valentines Day rolled around and my ex called me. I felt that I was confident and comfortable enough with my newfound power to meet up with her.

Well one drink turned to more than one and it is true what you said that drinking=depletion of power. We went back to my house (bad idea) we began to argue, she pushed me, hit me, and I slapped her out of non-thinking instinct. I called the cops because she would not get off me and we both went to jail. It was terrible.

This goes to show how important it is to really pay attention to the readings, videos, etc. and follow them. If I had this would have never happened. I made the situation much more difficult for myself by giving into the temptation of seeing her again when we still had intense feelings for each other underneath, that alcohol inevitably uncovered. 1 step forward, three steps back.

I am VERY thankful to have your material, "break ups for men," and have been delving into it now twice as attentively and seriously than before. Now I know how important it is to truthfully incorporate the material into my day to day behaviour through this tough time so as not to take anymore unnecessary steps in the wrong direction.

I have started to read the dating again portion and already have plans to meet beautiful girl soon who I like very much. I have been incorporating the part where you talk about replacing an ex by interacting with other women and this is going well.

Even if I don't hook up with them it doesn't matter! It just feels good to talk to them and have my mind off my ex during that time.

Thanks again for your material, WELL WORTH IT! I am getting back on my feet faster than I could have imagined. Thanks again for having such an honest way of presenting your advice.

Sincerely - BE"

Getting over your ex - BREAKING UP - FOR MEN - 6 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:12:00.000-08:00

Breakup recovery - Get your life back! - 5 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:11:00.001-08:00

No contact rule after breakup - See your ex or not? - 6 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:11:00.000-08:00

Breakup survival - Step out of the breakup zone - FAST! - 5 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:10:00.000-08:00

Break up support - 3 keys to get your power back - 5 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:09:00.000-08:00

Break up recovery! - Get your life back! - 5 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:08:00.000-08:00

How to get over being dumped - Power back! - 5 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:07:00.000-08:00

Break up advice! - Here is your battle plan! - 5 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:06:00.000-08:00

Getting over a girl - How to move on - 5 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:05:00.000-08:00

Getting over a breakup - Your life back! - 5 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:04:00.000-08:00

Life after divorce - Win your emotional divorce - 5 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T06:01:00.000-08:00

How do I get her back? - I want my ex back! - 5 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T05:59:00.000-08:00

How to get over her - 7 min - VIDEO - PROMO

2010-01-22T05:54:00.000-08:00

What's next? - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T04:27:00.000-08:00

There is a way to multiply the power kick you got from this material!

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Within less than an hour, you could be talking live with me.

All these strategies are powerful.

Now, sometimes, you do want the extra live support which gives you a safe space to share your story and a clear set of strategies.

I can give you both and I am always excited to help you recover your full emotional freedom.

Check what these men say about their coaching experience:

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Listen to Mark’s success story – 4 min – MP3

http://vitalcoaching.com/files/all/mark_bryant.mp3

"Coaching gave me something to focus on and look forward to on a weekly basis. It helped me structure my life very purposefully and move on very quickly. I now feel very good.

I feel like I have a very good future and that I am in control. I can handle whatever comes my way. I understand myself much better. This coaching that I had over the last month has been very good for me.

Definitely try it! It can really orient you in the right direction."

MB – US

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Listen to Angelo’s success story – 10 min MP3

http://vitalcoaching.com/files/all/angelo.mp3

“I’m a smart guy and I didn’t know what was going on with my life.

Within a few weeks, I was back on my feet.

I am beyond satisfied. It would have been silly not to do it”

AD – US

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I made it very simple for you to get targeted help so that we can focus instantly on what matters most:

Getting your full life and power back!

How does it work?

It is very simple. Follow this link:

http://vitalcoaching.com/coaching.htm

and sign in for one or more sessions.

If I am online, I’ll get back to you straight away and you can get instant support via phone, chat or email (you choose!).

If I am offline, I always get back to you within 24 hours (week days). Straight after you make a payment for one or more sessions, you are directed to a sign in page where it is easy to schedule a session for later.

It is usually easy to get your session within 24 hours if you want to.

You are on the right track!

Guaranteed!

You took a first step by getting this e-book.

I applaud your for deciding to take your life back in your hands.

Way to go! I like that!

I thank you for your trust!

Now, if you want to speed up even more your recovery process, and get back on track in no time, contact me straight away!

This is about personal power and life satisfaction.

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Because of my experience, I can tell you exactly what works and what doesn’t.

You are on the right track:

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Shift your mind - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T01:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, what I am going to say is radical.

The truth is that half measures do not work with break up recovery.

You have two options:

· The first one is to nurture her memory.

You can go to therapy and spend hours talking about the way she made you feel.

You can spend months trying to understand why she did it.

After a while, all your friends will run away.

They will use words like pathetic and loser when they talk about you.

· The second option is to get your full power back.

A break up is a battle situation.

It is a crisis.

You have been invested in this girl for months, maybe years.

After you break up, you keep on giving.

You get back nothing.

Your whole mind set needs to shift and be repolarised to one single priority: you!

There is no soft approach here.

She is in your mind and it is killing you.

It is a self destructive spiral which annihilates your life.

Why?

Because she is in your mind.

More! She has power over you.

You are no longer master of yourself.

What you want is a new mind set.

The old mind set of the victim or loser is killing you.

You want to defend your life and your territory.

How to do that?

You radically shift the way you stand in it.

You wake up your survival instinct and get over it.

When you are not over it, you are under it, right?

Being under it means carrying a useless weight which drains you and takes away your strength.

Why is this happening?

You have no power.

In fact, she does.

Here are some key mind sets you need to wake up in you.

These are survival strategies.

They are not optional.

If you don't apply them, you are dead!

· You are not a victim, you are a winner

In fact this break up might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Put it this way: you are free!

· She is gone and gone forever

You won't get back together. In other terms don't hope she'll change her mind. If you meet her by coincidence, don't see this as a secret sign that you two are meant for each other!

· You don't need her

This is an illusion. You are perfectly fine with or without her.

· You will meet new girls or women

Right now, she does not deserve the attention your give her.

· Alcohol or drugs do not help

Getting drunk is the worst thing you can do. Drinking does not give you your power back. In fact it does exactly the opposite.

· You owe her nothing!

A relationship is a temple with two pillars. If she takes off, consider yourself 100% free. Let it totally collapse. It's not your responsibility anymore.

· What she does is none of your business!

You might believe you have rights? You don't! It is as simple as that. She does what she wants, when she wants, with whoever she wants. You have no control over that.

· Get real!

There are many reasons she did what she did. Most of them have to do with fulfilling her needs. Get real about who she is and what she wanted. Don't defend her.

Again, in a break up situation, you need to wake up your power and see this as a battle for survival.

Soft approaches don't work!

It is a waste of your precious time.

You have the power to force yourself into a new mind set.

This new mind set gives you freedom, space and instant recovery.

Sure, you won't get all the negative attention from friends and family.

The question is: what do you want?

This is about your own survival.

Do what it takes to express your full power.

This is a battle for power - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T01:47:00.001-08:00

This is a battle for power.

It is a battle for energy.

Your mind is your mind.

So you need to gain back control.

You need to be in charge.

Does she want you to succeed?

No!

I will be direct with you: right now she is your enemy.

She is the very reason you are in pain.

There is only one way to get your power back and this is to kick her out of your mind.

What is happening in your mind right now has nothing to do with love.

It is 100% based on a power struggle.

You see, as long as you are focused on her, she gets some attention.

It’s not physical attention.

It is psychic attention.

No need to believe in telepathy.

You are emotionally linked to her and she knows that.

She feels it.

If you want to get your power back, you need to kick her out of your mind.

Totally? Well not exactly.

All memories won’t be gone.

What will be gone is the power she has over you.

How do you remove her power?

You give it to someone else.

In fact, you consciously invest in others.

You establish new friendships.

You don’t stay at home waiting for her to call. She won’t.

What else?

How do you take away her power?

You remove traces of her presence in your physical environment.

Whatever this might be.

Even stuff which has financial value.

Rebuild yourself a personal base where she is not present.

She takes too much place in your mind - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T01:47:00.000-08:00

What stops you from being happy right now is the place she takes in your mind.

She simply takes too much space.

It’s not just space.

She has power as well!

Why is that?

Because during the last few months or years, she has been feeding a part of your being.

Now, she is gone.

You need to find other sources of support and validation.

What hurts you is the fact that you love a ghost.

You love someone who is simply not there.

If you want to free yourself, you need to radically shift the way you stand in it.

What if she calls you? - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T01:46:00.000-08:00

There is always a “game” going on when two persons break up.

It is a battle for attention and power.

It is very rare for a person to just walk away and never feel the need to get in touch again with an ex.

The day this happens, you need to know why it happens: it is because she misses something you shared in the past and wants to feel part of it again.

Strangely enough this will often happen just in the moment you feel you are ready to move on.

You rebuilt your power.

You let go.

And suddenly she calls you.

Memories come back.

Feelings.

You want to believe again.

Don’t!

She is not saying: “Look, let’s get back together”

What she is saying is: “I miss a small part of what you and I shared and I want to feel it again for a moment”

It is not an invitation to start all over again.

So, don’t get all turned on by this apparent opening.

It is usually a dead end.

How often should you meet? - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T01:45:00.001-08:00

Well, it is truly up to you.

I would say that having a chat on the phone once a week is okay.

More than that?

She would take too much space in your mind and keep you focused on her.

Remember: what you want right now is to create space, not to have your mind cluttered with past memories.

Memories are fine.

There is nothing wrong with them but when you break up, it’s time to better focus on your future.

So, bring in elements which move you forward rather than hold you back.

Is it wrong to meet? - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T01:45:00.000-08:00

Not at all.

You need to redesign your boundaries.

There is nothing wrong with going for a drink and having a friendly chat with your ex.

In fact it is very healthy.

It is healthy as long as you stay in your power and expect nothing from it.

Don’t make plans.

They would be limiting for you.

You want to stay free. So don’t let her grab any part of your life.

Don’t let her give you stuff, pictures, memories, plans, or anything else.

In a situation like this one, she will often try to control a part of you, judge your actions or blame you for stuff that happened.

If she goes that way, simply put a limit and say something like: “I came here to have a friendly chat with you. That’s what I will do. If you want to fight, I’ll be gone in a second!”

If before you meet, you feel there is a risk of her starting along that line, don’t go.

Who wants another argument?

There are hundreds of things you can do which are much more interesting than having someone blaming you.

Here is an essential rule: spend time with people who value your life and being.

It is simple.

If someone puts you down, don’t spent time with them.

No contact? - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T01:44:00.000-08:00

It is an option of course.

Your instinct guides you with that.

Do whatever feels right for you.

Observe the way it makes you feel.

Suppose you don’t see her or don’t talk to her for 2 weeks.

You feel your life blossoming.

You speak on the phone with her one time and everything goes down?

Take this as a sign or indication.

Do what it takes to preserve your emotional security.

Is there a chance of you two getting back together? - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T01:43:00.000-08:00

That’s the most common dream in break up situations.

When you break up, you have to let go.

There are actually very few chances of you two ever getting back together.

This hope you have in your mind might be the number one force stopping you from moving forward.

The wish for things to be different is like a doubt, fear or hesitation.

It is related with the fear of being alone or the fear that there is nothing in the future for you.

WRONG!

You have a future!

With or without her!

Chances do open up the moment your mind is available.

When is your mind available?

When you have control over your life, not her.

In 95% of cases, getting back together does not work.

Why is that?

Because the emotional patterns you two shared that created the “saturation” leading to your break up are still there.

In fact when you get back together, you usually recreate exactly the same emotional patterns as the ones which were there before.

You might shift things around for a couple of months.

But eventually, you tend to fall back into the “old model” and make the same mistakes.

It is much easier to simply move on and create a new life with someone else.

When you create a new life with someone else, all you have to do is create.

If your try again with your ex, you need first to clean up, remove old patterns and redesign your relationship.

This usually requires too much time, skills and energy and partners tend to give up on that.

Are there any situations where it can work?

Yes, of course there are.

For instance, if you have been together for a few years and one of you cheats.

This could be a one time thing perceived by the cheater as an incredible mistake.

You might split for a while and eventually get back together when you have the power to forgive and move on.

“Once a cheater, always a cheater?”

I disagree.

Some people can effectively perceive the destructive effects of an affair and consciously decide to stay away from it.

They consciously choose to be faithful to protect the relationship or the family.

What about guilt? - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T01:42:00.001-08:00

After your ex bombarded you with reproaches, you might end up with this impression that you did something wrong.

I’ll be honest: maybe you did.

Maybe you did not give her the attention she deserved.

Maybe you missed a Valentine’s Day.

Maybe you cheated.

Maybe you abused her emotionally or even physically.

Sure, you are not perfect.

Sure, you might have committed mistakes.

Now, a mistake is a real mistake only when you repeat it without learning from it.

In fact, experimenting in life is the best way to learn.

That’s what you did, right?

You did your best even when you didn’t.

What is the answer to guilt?

Forgiveness.

To forgive yourself, you need extra power again.

I know; some people are very good at blaming.

You might feel others angry or upset about things you did.

It is time to forgive yourself no matter what.

We aren’t talking about crimes here.

This is a different chapter… Too long to be treated here.

The truth is that if you stay stacked on guilt, you won’t get anywhere.

To free yourself from guilt, you need extra power.

If she makes you feel guilty, defend yourself.

Sure, apologize for anything you did wrong.

Develop a new behavior.

Learn from it and do move on.

Forgiving yourself is a skill.

It is time to empower your life with it.

Do you feel pain right now? - ARTICLE

2010-01-22T01:42:00.000-08:00

Pain can take many shapes and many forms.

Let’s look at “missing someone”.

Missing someone?

What is that?

It is an emotional gap, right?

When you miss someone, something strange happens with your emotions.

It is like some form of energy inside tearing you apart.

It is the same as hunger but on an emotional level.

You want to hug, to hold someone.

You want to kiss, make love, share, talk… Do all these things.

This is the toughest challenge when you break up.

You can go into therapy and nurture these feelings.

You can try to understand them.

It’s like mourning, right?

You feel this gap and want to act on it.

What I will say now might surprise you:

Your mind is a battle field.

When you feel pain, there is a battle of energies going on.

You feel pain because she is in your mind.

The way to get rid of the pain is to get your full power back and take back control of what happens in your mind.

When you saw the title of this book, you read the term power: “Get your power back”.

It is exactly that: get your power back.

This is the key to successfully moving on.

What is this key?

It is called emotional freedom.

Emotional freedom is exactly the opposite of missing someone.

How do you gain emotional freedom?

By reconquering the territory of your mind.

You feel pain because she is in your mind.

Tough to say, but a part of her wants you to be where you are right now: in pain.

It is a battle.

It has nothing to do with love.

A part of her is burning your mind and emotions and this is why you feel pain.

This has nothing to do with love: it is simple emotional attachment.

Love is empowering.

This is not empowering.

It creates a gap and destroys your being.

You think that by suffering you show you loved someone?

Not true!

When you suffer, you show only one thing: that you are a victim and that you don’t know how to let go.

A part of you wants to nurture the past relationship.

The temple of your couple did collapse.

It is gone.

Your dream does not match the physical reality.

This is why you feel pain.

Missing is an emotional instinctual response.

You can live with someone’s memory in your mind and still be totally happy.

You have the power to digest this pain and empower yourself through the process.

How?

By going for change rather than resisting it.

Change is “renewal power”.

Missing is “preserving power”.

You try to hold onto something that no longer exists.

It is like trying to eat an imaginary pie.

It won’t feed you.

It will create a gap eternally.

A part of you has been “trained” to respond to a person’s memory by expressing a desire.

This is why your emotions respond.

You feel desire but also realize it’s only a dream.

What maintains this dream?

Pictures, memories, hopes…

All these elements stop you from moving forward.