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When you try to help someone who is in a self defeating attitude, they will usually resist the change you propose.

Why because a negative mind set is still a comfort zone

People will often say they want to change but when the change process starts taking place, they will often resist it, step back and try to avoid the catalytic forces you use to stimulate that change.

Yes! This emotional reaction is logical - It is a reaction of fear to the unknown.

The question is "How do you handle that resistance as a coach?"

What do you do every time someone withdraws their energy or input just when you are about to break through?

Basically, they retreat in their well known self defeating mind sets.

What do you do when this happens without feeling like you need to carry them energy wise.

Ok!

An important shift needs to happen at that moment!

The reason they shift their mind or withdraw is because energy wise, they will get more energy from you if they resist.

The partnership you create when they start moving forward is based on the combination of your two energies.

When they slow down or resist, it would usually force you to put up a higher level of power to keep that ship going.

If they complain, say it is not working, it is simply their way of offering resistance so that you feed that partnership more.

It is a power game!

It is a battle between your mind set and their mind set!

Once you understand that, you need a new posture to stand in so that their emotional reaction does not touch you.

You need an instinctual instant response so that specific moment.

Here are the options:

• Force to move forward whatever doubts or resistances the person has
• Let them take the lead and redefine the goals or shift directions if they want to
• Let them know what they are doing and telling them about these dynamics we just mentioned
• Challenge or attack them.
• Dissolve the relationship on the spot and stop working with them as soon as they show resistance
• Don't work with them in the first place when you foresee that type of problem or behavior.
• Simply agree with what they want
• Simply shift target instantly and let them reorient according to the new targets or needs

The thing that you need to understand is that they don't actually want you to succeed!

It is your mind set against their mind set.

Your energy reality (positive, oufgoing, fresh, etc) against their energy reality(depressed, unhappy, moody, self defeating, moody, etc)

When these two energy realities enter in conflict within a coaching session, they will do anything they can to stick to their mind set and defend their position.

It is a battle for securing their mind set.

yes! It is a contradiction because this mind set makes them unhappy but it is logical because they are "comfortable" with that mind set.

If someone has been living in a swamp for their whole life, the idea of moving to a sunny beach location is threatening!

It means change.

It is the same type of process of change people will face when they shift from unhappy to happy.

It's a profound transformation of their inner beliefs and emotional base.

This is why they are afraid to step out of that unhappy comfort zone: it is because unhappiness has become their base.

They are familiar with it.

When you bombard them with positiveness, it challenges that base.

This is why all the resistance builds up!

Yes! There is a perfect response to.

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Obsviously, challenging or attacking could strongly reinforce the conflicting attitudes.

Instead, you need to give them the control seat and let them realize that they are in charge!

If they want to stop, you stop on the spot!

Why? because you have other clienst and if they can't go faster, you will go fstaer with others.

This stays their agenda, alwways.

Even if they feed their agenda with negative self limiting beliefs and target changes.

It is their right to stand still if they want to.

Social anxiety means that when you are in social situations you feel a high level of emotional discomfort.

You feel people's judgements, looks, etc.

You respond to them by feeling anxiety.

You can feel this anxiety when being in the situation or before it even happens.

you can compare this to publisg speaking anxiety.

It is the idea of being bomababrded by psychic pressure and not being able to manage that pressure.

This happens for one simple reason; lack of power, psychic power.

You feel that your energy space is invaded and you don't have the emotional resources to protect yourself.

You feel vulnerable.

Anxiety is simply a mild version of fear.

But because of its permanent or recurrring nature, it can create quite a discomfort.

The key is to ad a new level of power to your mind, a few new minds sets and train these new behaviors.

Again, these types of fears are along the same line as stage fright or public speaking anxiety, except that social anxiety refers to a pressure which is usually smaller.

More coming soon

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By Christopher Kent, D.C., J.D.

An article titled “Retail Therapy1” caught my attention. It described the results of a study where “compulsive shoppers” were treated with either the drug Citalopram or a placebo. The lead researcher was thrilled with the results, “Patients said to me: ‘I go to the shopping mall with my friends and I don’t buy anything.’” Well, this patient at least bought something -- the notion that excessive shopping is a disease to be treated with medication.

What constitutes excessive shopping? The article states that one of the subjects “owned 55 cameras.” I once collected cameras. Perhaps that makes me a “victim” of this disease. By the way, the treatment came with a price -- “some side effects, which include loss of sexual desire and sleepiness.” The study further admits, “It is not known why Citalopram is effective for treating compulsive shoppers.” With big pharma seeking new markets for existing drugs, and developing drugs in search of diseases, it is not surprising that many of life’s challenges are no longer considered legitimate components of the human experience, but are now medical conditions amenable to treatment.

The Definition of a Medicalized Society

Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary 2 defines “medicalize” as follows: “To handle or accept as deserving of or appropriate for medical treatment.”

Sato3 offers a more specific definition for medicalization: “A process or a tendency whereby the phenomena which had belonged to other fields like education, law, religion, and so on have been redefined as medical phenomena.”

Examples abound in psychiatry’s code book for psychiatric disorders and “conditions or problems ... which may be a focus of clinical attention and require appropriate coding ...” This remarkable tome is DSM-IV4. DSM-1 was first published in 1952, titled Diagnostic and

Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

My journey into DSM-IV made me think I had fallen into Alice’s rabbit hole.

Normal Human Experience Now Masqueraded as “Disorders”

Do you have difficulty sleeping after drinking coffee? The problem isn’t a product of your poor judgment in guzzling java immediately before retiring. You are a victim of 292.89 -- Caffeine-Induced Sleep Disorder F15.8. If you reflect on your shyness while tossing and turning, the problem could be the epidemic of 300.23 -- Social Phobia F40.1. Don’t worry. Drug treatment is available.

Unfortunately, if you’re thinking about your place in the cosmos or spiritual issues, you’ve got V62.89 -- Religious or Spiritual Problem Z71.8, and I couldn’t locate a drug for that.
Bad parenting is about to become a thing of the past. It’s not your fault, or your child’s fault. Besides the ubiquitous pandemic of ADHD, there are other disorders you may not be aware of.
Your ill-behaving child may be suffering from 313.81 -- Oppositional Defiant Disorder F91.3. If your child often argues with adults, loses their temper, deliberately annoys people, etc., you’re dealing with ODD. Of course, this must be differentiated from 312.8 -- Conduct Disorder F91.8, and 312.9 -- Disruptive Behavior Disorder Not Otherwise Specified F91.9.

Should the problem be getting along with a brother or sister, the condition is V61.8 -- Sibling Relational Problem F93.3. And should you argue with your spouse about whether the child should be grounded or drugged, you might be looking down the barrel of V61.1 -- Partner Relational Problem Z63.0.

If math homework is a challenge, be sure to check for 315.1 -- Mathematics Disorder F81.2. You must be careful not to confuse this with a V62.3 -- Academic Problem Z55.8. If things are OK in the math department, but you have a teen experiencing uncertainty about life goals, career preferences, values, loyalties, etc., you’re dealing with 313.82 Identity Problem F93.8. This has been downgraded from a “disorder” in DSM-III-R, to a mere “problem” in DSM-IV. I’ll bet that makes you feel better.

A Pill for Every Issue You Don’t Want to Face

A plethora of sexual issues are described as “disorders.” We are all familiar with Bob Dole making erectile dysfunction a household word, with the blue pill offering a solution. But that’s just the tip of the, um, iceberg. If the target of your libidinal interest is ignoring you, the problem may be 302.71 Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder F52.2.

Lest anyone be offended, I will not address the other disorders codified in Chapter 20. Simply be happy that there are solutions that do not require you to address issues in your relationship.
Men can obtain testosterone cream if a doctor determines that it’s “right for you.” The stuff is said to work well. According to an ad in JAMA5, “Sexual enjoyment and satisfaction with erection duration were improved vs. baseline, but these improvements were not significant compared to placebo.” The ad shows a couple dancing, a couple riding a motorcycle, and two pictures of men swinging golf clubs (alone) and smiling.

Perhaps the next version of DSM will have a category for “golf disorders.”

REFERENCES

Wood H: Retail therapy. Nature Reviews Neuroscience 2003;4:700.
Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary. Barnes and Noble. New York. 1996.
Sato A: Medicalization and medicalization theories.
Reed WH, Wise MG: DSM-IV Training Guide. Brunner/Mazel, Inc. Philadelphia, PA. 1995.
JAMA 2003;290(11):1427.

from mercola.com

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http://www.youtube.com/user/CharlesLinden

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http://www.thelindenmethod.co.uk/

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operant_conditioning

Operant conditioning is the use of consequences to modify the occurrence and form of behavior.

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Learning through repetition

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala

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Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric anxiety disorder most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive, distressing, intrusive thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or "rituals") which attempt to neutralize the obsessions. It is listed by the World Health Organization as one of the top 10 most disabling illnesses in terms of a diminished quality of life.[1]

The phrase "obsessive-compulsive" has worked its way into the wider English lexicon, and is often used in an offhand manner to describe someone who is meticulous or absorbed in a cause (see also "anal-retentive"). Such casual references should not be confused with obsessive-compulsive disorder; see clinomorphism. It is also important to distinguish OCD from other types of anxiety, including the routine tension and stress that appear throughout life. Although these signs are often present in OCD, a person who shows signs of infatuation or fixation with a subject/object, or displays traits such as perfectionism, does not necessarily have OCD, a specific and well-defined condition.

To be diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, one must have either obsessions or compulsions alone, or obsessions and compulsions, according to the DSM-IV-TR diagnostic criteria. The Quick Reference to the diagnostic criteria from DSM-IV-TR (2000) describes these obsessions and compulsions:[2]

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OCD

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotomania

Erotomania is a rare disorder in which a person holds a delusional belief that another person, usually of a higher social status, is in love with them.

The term erotomania is also sometimes used in a less specific clinical sense meaning excessive pursuit of or preoccupation with love or sex.

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