That's a key skill in life:

How to set up boundaries when others are systematically invading your space or even abusing you emotionally.

This can happen in relationships or with exes.

It can happen in social circles, at work or with family members.

It takes the form of over emotional reaction to things you do.

You end up feeling like you walk on egg shells all the time, afraid of making mistakes that will call for emotional retaliation from those who abuse you.

This emotional retaliation can take many forms.

Sometimes it is expressed in the form of projected emotional anger.

It can be physical abuse.

Other times it might simply be silent treatment.

You feel there is tension build up but nothing is being said.

These patterns are called cohercive power.

They are an expression of threat.

The principle is the same as any form of threat.

When someone expresses cohercive power, their goal is to conquer, dominate and get things their way.

People use threat all the time against each other.

If you start observing it in daily life, you will see dozens of examples popping up all around you.

Any time a person uses threat either against you or someone else, observe what happens.

On one side, you have an angry person wanting to have control or power.

On the other side, you have another person wanting to avoid emotional pain.

If you take this to a wider scale, you will see that nations use the same dynamics against each other.

They use military threat.

This is still cohercion, simply expressed on a larger scale.

Now, that we defined emotional threat or harassment, the next question is:

What do you do with it, especially if you are the victim of it?

Well... Suppose that you are the victim of some bullying form, the reason why it happens is because part of you lets it happen.

In probably 80% of the cases, the person who is victim from this harassment forgets to stand up for themselves.

Suppose that an ex bothers you for instance.

They keep calling and invade your space.

You can say something like:

"Look, I don't have time for that - I hear you and wish I could do something about it but I can't - Let's talk about this another time - I have to go..."

DONE!

I know, it takes courage and power to do that.

You can practice this with anyone who steps on your toes.

The moment they no longer can reach you, they usually start looking for another victim.

If you are strong and put strategic walls to protect yourself from them, it literally takes you 5 min to shift a negative pattern that might have been there for years!

What if someone else is the victim of this emotional harassment and you want to help?

That's like a whole new skill.

We'll cover that one another time, ok?

To your power!

Labels: social power

Social anxiety means that when you are in social situations you feel a high level of emotional discomfort.

You feel people's judgements, looks, etc.

You respond to them by feeling anxiety.

You can feel this anxiety when being in the situation or before it even happens.

you can compare this to publisg speaking anxiety.

It is the idea of being bomababrded by psychic pressure and not being able to manage that pressure.

This happens for one simple reason; lack of power, psychic power.

You feel that your energy space is invaded and you don't have the emotional resources to protect yourself.

You feel vulnerable.

Anxiety is simply a mild version of fear.

But because of its permanent or recurrring nature, it can create quite a discomfort.

The key is to ad a new level of power to your mind, a few new minds sets and train these new behaviors.

Again, these types of fears are along the same line as stage fright or public speaking anxiety, except that social anxiety refers to a pressure which is usually smaller.

More coming soon

Labels: social power

That's called tolerance, right?

We live in a world of diversity and people experience existence in many different ways.

This diversity is natural and when you want to force others into your belief system, you are betraying one of their most basic human rights: Their right for self determination.

It is ok to disagree!

Really!

Mature relationships between human beings allow space for differences of opinions.

Here is a simple way to tame any conflict and bring back peace:

"It looks like we have a different opinion on this topic and that's ok! - The fact that you have different belief than mine does not stop me from fully respecting you!"

Wahou! We just created a whole new wave of world peace!

Imagine for second what happens if this attitude is systematically adopted when conflicts arise.

Can you see the impact?

Start with a small step: YOU!

Once you fully master your own conflicting patterns, take your sword and start positively influencing others!

To your power!

Labels: social power

This is a big one!

People who harass you can really make your life miserable.

It can happen at work, between family members or friends.

The reason why it happens is because that's simply how some people spend their lives.

They feed from offensive behaviors and take pleausre in putting other people down.

You have to realize that this gives them energy!

That's why they do it.

It is a strategy in competitive behaviors and they simply want to win over you.

This is a vast topic and I won't cover everything here.

Simply know for now that the reason they harass you or anyone else is because they can.

If you are their target, it is because your level of power is not high enough.

To step out of this role, you need extra power.

This is what I encourage you to do.

How do you get extra power?

Well you have a few possible sources:

• Body power - Build up muscle and fighting skills.
• Confidence - That's another skill you can practice and train.
• Network - Partner with the right people.
• Diplomacy - Communicate in respectful ways so that no negative responses are triggered.
• New boundaries - Trun off your cell phone or stop connecting with those who don't respect you.
• New exit strategies - If you can't win, wisely stepping out and working on your exit strategies could be the way to go.
• Etc.

If this is an issue in your life, the moment you focus on it, strategies and lines of action show up.

The next step is of course to implement action.

It takes focus and consistency to build up extra power but it is ABSOLUTELY within your range.

To your power!

Labels: social power

Have you ever gone out to a social event, meet this person who might look interesting at first but everything in their body language and tone of voice reflects insecurity!

A pity, right?

Have you noticed the impact this has on you?

Most of the times, it is a total turn off.

Their insecurity reflects on you and you start feeling really bad for them.

When you speak with someone, around 90% of your message is transmitted through these two!

This means that people assess you much more through how you stand and the way you say it than through what you actually say!

Here is what you can do:

• Assess yourself now: between 0% and 100% how high do you score on those two specific points (Tone of voice + Body language)
• Speak louder - That's a simple way to boost your confidence
• Next time you go out, before you enter the room, take a minute to concentrate on those two! - Think "confidence" and assume that posture!

Easy, right? ;)

Enjoy!

vitalcoach

Labels: social power

http://vitalcoaching.com/wakeupyourpower.htm

How to be a kinder person - Be nicer to others - Love everyone! - Protect yourself - Change! - Recondition your mind - Practice active kindness - Open up - Compliment - Validate people

http://vitalcoaching.com/wakeupyourpower.htm

Labels: social power

Don't take action to prove them anything - You simply recognize their possible negative reaction and follow up with what you were planning to do.

You don't do it for them, you do it for yourself.

For instance, if you arrive at a social event and you notice a few people staring at you or judging you, make it your point to connect with as many women/people as you can, being super friendly and approachable.

The key is to not let these people's doubts or judgements stop you ever!

makes sense right?

Labels: social power

When you face other people's judgements or feel insecure, it is always a power battle between you and them.

The only way to win is to increase your power base and not let these attacks stop you.

People attack you if they feel an opening, the moment you are strong, they stop bothering you.

So, when you feel a negative thought rising, you simply don't let it grow!

You don't let it expand!

You tackle it with the opposite mind set.

A negative thought is:

"You can't do it"

The opposite is

"I can do it"

You are the center of your life and if you don't let your own doubts crawl in your mind, you win the battle.

Any time you recognize fear or doubts and you know you could step back if you negatively respond to this fear, move forward instead and don't let doubts stop you.

Your winning strategy is forward action.

People will know they can't stop you when they see you systematically moving forward when they project their doubts on you.

The more you hesitate or doubt, the more you let them stop you.

The more you take proactive action the more you prove anyone that you have no fear.

You can apply this is any situation: job, dating, social life, etc.

So, how can you use any objection to make you stronger?

You use that challenge as an opportunity to grow.

The more proactive action you take, the stronger you become.

You can't build muscle if there is no resistance, right?

With mind power it is the same.

You don't build character if you face no challenge.

Does that make sense?

What is your conclusion?

Labels: social power

In my experience it takes one month of practice to get familiar with a new mindset and 3 months to totally intergrate it.

The best way to go faster is to practice a lot without being too attached to the immediate result.

It is a bit like going to the gym. You get results by building skills and power on that level.

If you focus on it and make it your top priority, you will have no problem being at 90% to 100% of your true potential.

Don't ever let rejection, doubts or hesitations stop you, ok?

You now know what the target is and all it takes is focus, consistency and some determination

Labels: social power

• Smile + Be friendly!
• Be 100% rejection proof! - Don't let rejection put you down ever!
• Be super confident, not arrogant! - this one is for not putting yourself above others - Behave more like an equal rather than being superior - You can as well do that by validating and complimenting people very easily
• Be ougoing! - Engage! - Connect!
• Be more social and caring!

Labels: social power