 |
| Everything! | Dating_for_men |
|
Coaching Everything! E-books Videos Audios Articles News Forum |
Saturday, July 25, 2009Yoni massage - Clitoris stimulation - Advanced technique - FOR MEN - ARTICLE
This is another core advanced technique especially for guys (or women if you and your tantric sex partner are both females).
Women will often be purely clitoridian. This means that they orgasm mainly through clitoris stimulation. You can stimulate the clitoris with your finger or hand. You can use your tongue and lips. You can as well of course stimulate her clitoris through intercourse. Now, when you have intercourse and want to increase stimulation on her clitoris, you do that by pressing your pubic bone against hers a bit stronger. You don’t focus on the ebb and flow of your penetration but rather increase the pressure between your two pubic bones. This by itself stimulates her clitoris. This is what often makes a woman come. Try it! You will be amazed if you never observed that simple trick. While you press your pubic bone against hers, you can engage either in circular movements or in and out movements. Both types of moves will massage her clitoris while stimulating her internally as well. Now, many women prefer vaginal stimulation. In other terms, they prefer the feeling of penetration and get aroused by the stimulation of their G-spot. The best way to find out what she likes is to ask. “If you have the choice between a wet finger stroking your clitoris, my tongue and penetration, which one do you prefer?” Yes! You can engage in sexual communication and find out what she would do if she was by herself. Next point: stroking her clitoris! There is a hood or skin covering her clitoris. For best results, you can pull back that skin with your thumb and stroke her clitoris with your index finger. You see this tiny rose mount which is like a tiny wet seed. The clitoris has thousand of nerve endings. This is why it is so sensitive to stroking. While stroking, you can keep the finger flat on the clitoris and stroke with the full finger’s length. You can as well touch the clitoris with the top of your finger only and stroke her up and down. It’s essential as well to offer the exact right amount of pressure. Start with extreme gentleness! As if you were touching a feather. While you stroke, ask her if she enjoys more pressure or simply try a tiny bit more yourself and see how she responds. When you experiment with this clitoris massage practice, you might be surprised to realize how much pressure some women can take. If you can, get her to be totally physically still so that you can concentrate on her without losing contact with her clitoris. Many women say that they simply prefer the gentle touch of a wet finger on their clitoris. That’s what makes them come the fastest. Take your time by the way. This is not a race or a competition. Compliment her on the beauty of the texture of her inner and outer lips. Let her know that you enjoy what you see. If she orgasms, her clitoris can become extremely sensitive and she might reject your touch. No worries, this extreme sensitivity moment usually lasts only for a minute and if she is open for it, you can head for a multiple orgasm session. How much clitoris or vaginal stimulation she needs is different for every woman. Ask her and explore it together. Listen to what she says and be open to change what you had in mind. Listen! She will give you essential clues about what she likes or not. Rather than a finger, you can of course use your tongue for clitoris stimulation. Try different moves and see what she responds to the best. Play with different pressures, your lips, various angles. You can for instance use your full flat tongue on her vaginal and clitoris area. You can as well play only with the tip of your tongue and focus more exclusively on her clitoris. Again, use a finger to slide the hood that covers her clitoris, so that the tip of your tongue really is in direct contact with her clitoris. Another technique is to slightly bite the clit area between your lips. Be careful not to touch her with your teeth though! Use ONLY your lips. Now, Go and explore! Practice! This is what makes you good at it. Clitoris stimulation represents only one aspect of yoni massage. In another post I will cover other aspects of yoni massage, G-spot simulation and other massage techniques for the Yoni. In this article I talk about the woman having orgasms but in so many of the tantric sex practices it is actually more productive not to bring her all the way to orgasm. In another article, I will cover this question about orgasm or not for women while engaging in tantric sex. To your Tantra! Don't fall into the fanaticism or high expectation trap - ARTICLE
Tantric sex comes from a place of freedom, not demand or pressure.
Life is already perfect the way it is now. There is no distant goal to achieve. You are already holy, sacred and totally fulfilled as a human being. Tantric sex simply ads flavor, color, pleasure, fun, delight, bliss... to what already exists. Feeling pressured is a massive turn off to anyone. If you are in a couple, you must always start from a place of total mutual respect and freedom for each other's choices and preferences. The fact that you practice tantric sex doesn't give you the right to tell anyone what to do (unless it is simply agreed mutual exploration within a tantric sex session). What I mean is that putting pressure on your partner will most likely kill the magic instantly. That's not the way to go at all. Your partner might not be in the mood or have other priorities. That's ok! Don't force them! If you feel that you want to go deeper in tantric sex exploration and are not sure how your partner feels about it, the best is to sit down and have a quick chat about it... You can say something like: "I feel there are a few tantric sex techniques I would love to explore and was wondering if it is an experience you would like to share too..." This is an open freeing discussion where you give each other full space to chose what you want. If your partner is not into these practices at all, you can try to take very small steps together, do some self exploration or find another potential tantric partner. Yes, tanric sex can be a major life changing set of practices you want to bring into your life. Yes, it could be a deal breaker in a relationship if you are full on into it and your partner is not. This type of fundamental difference of views often happens in couples. Other similar examples could be having children or not, where you want to live, key life style choices, life vision, etc. When you face a dead end in your couple, always ask yourself the question: is this a deal breaker? Does it justify us splitting up over this? If it does, then this must not stop your from expressing mutual respect towards each other. This diffrence of persepective is all it is: a difference between you and them. It is ok to be different! Not everyone needs to merge within a given stream. As I mentioned earlier, tantric sex might be suitable for maybe 10% of people. It doesn't mean that the other 90% don't have tantric sex potential of course! It simply means that tantric sex is not for them for reasons like lack of need or interest, other priorities, other belief system, lack of openess, other sexual preferences, lack of time, etc... Respect their choice at 100% and simply be free to make YOUR own choices too. Remember that nobody owns another human being and the planet is a much better place when the only thing we truly control is our own life. To your Tantra! Thursday, July 23, 2009Lingam massage - Detailed advanced techniques - FOR WOMEN - ARTICLE
We now enter into a set of advanced techniques.
This one is especially important for women if you want to understand how to stimulate tantric energy in your partner. In this practice, you are the active one and you stimulate your partner's tantric energy through lingam massage (massaging his sex). I can't give you the exact graphic details of the movements you do with your hands because a short video would be more effective. What I can tell you is that you want to practice this in a very gentle way at first. The goal is NOT to bring him to ejaculation. The goal is to build up sexual energy in him and bring him close to the orgasmic point without crossing the threshold. We won't step into energy orgasm at this stage because it is not needed for this practice. If you massage his lingam and he doesn't lose semen, he will feel totally refreshed and energized after this practice. You focus 100% on him + guide him to stay totally passive. Put some massage oil on your hands. You can chose a sensual massage brand but any oil will actually work. After that, you can sit crossed legged next to him on his side and let him lay on his back. You can as well fold one leg crossed leg like and bring your other leg over his body. This might give you greater stability. You can get aroused of course, but the goal here is to stay focused on him. Focus 100% of your attention on what you are doing with your hands. Don't forget to breathe and watch your whole body posture. You can play with this as well. Start with very gentle touch. You use close to no pressure in the beginning. Simply let your finger slide on his lingam without grabbing it yet. Ideally, a lingam massage could go on for 15 min. You can as well stretch the practice to 30 min once you both want to dive deeper in it. This is only a guide line. You are free of course to play with a session's length, shorten it or stretch it to hours of playful practice at will. It is usually better to have a few short lingam massages spread during the week rather than just one longer session. Now, imagine that you are dancing with your hands. You improvise moves while being very aware of what you do. Let him relax while you take full charge of what you do. This is not a complicate practice that requires some fancy technique with your hands. Simply following your instincts will guide you to the exact pleasure moves. Ask him for feed back a few times in the beginning if you are not sure: "Does it feel good when I do this?" "What do you prefer, this move or that one?" " Does that feel good or does that hurt?" Keep it ideally to only a few questions max in a session otherwise, you'll start appearing to insecure about what you do and it will be difficult for him to relax and trust you. Remember that you are in charge for that session. You are leading it, not him. -------------- Remember that a man's balls can be very sensitive to pressure. Start with very gentle moves always and if you ad rhythm and pressure keep an eye on his reaction. Even if he doesn't get an erection at first, you can keep massage him, gently with a couple of fingers to wake up his desire. No pressure! No question mark! This is not a performance and there is nothing he must do. Once you have been sliding on his lingam with the end of your fingers for a few minutes, start adding slightly more pressure and let more fingers or even your full palm participate in this dance. Feel these delightful moves in your body as well. Feel this energy dancing and waking up in your whole being, not just your hands. If he wants to move, grab you to have intercourse with you, it's always possible to shift the practice but I encourage you to stick to the lingam massage practice for 15 min at least. Why? Because you can go deeper in the way you stimulate pleasure in him. Agree to this before you start. Ask him to let you lead this part of the tantric play. Sometimes, guys will feel uncomfortable with being passive. They feel the urge to reciprocate. Let him know that you will give him space to give back to you either after this session or the following day for a yony massage this time. Let him know that it's ok and that you immensely enjoy doing this. Compliment him for what you see and experience:
If he gives you feed back and has some requests, you can slightly shift your massaging style. Ideally though, it is better for him to give you less hints while you do it and let you find your own way. Otherwise, you get the feeling that he is trying to control your moves and this limits your creativity. There is an exception though: it is if you hurt him or touch him in ways that feel uncomfortable to him. Then of course, it is a good idea for him to say something. The best time for feed back is after your lingam massage session. You can take a moment an hour later or the following day to debrief on how you and him experienced it. Focus on the positives, the things you both really enjoyed (rather than spending too much time on negative comments). The best way to reinforce positive behaviors is to praize what you both did right and suggest some points where you both can still gain skills. The information he gives you is super precious and helps you reorient your massaging style. After a few sessions, you can quickly become a master at this! You are able to play with his energies and desire and get him to experience absolute blissful states. During the session itself, you can ad rhythm and speed to your moves. There is an unlimited range for possible variations in the way you use your hands. You can for instance:
(I know that a vid is worth a thousand words, so I might post a short video on lingam massage techniques soon if it feels appropriate) You see that you have dozens of variations and techniques you can explore. Enjoy and have fun with it. There is no rush. Remember the two key ingreadients of this lingam massage session:
I encourage you to lay still next to each other for a few minutes after a lingam massage session. This will give space for these energies to sink in. Lay next to each other without touching your bodies, simply side by side and observe the impact of this lingam massage session. This tantric sex technique is a powerful transformation tool! If you want to engage in further tantric sex play after your session, you can of course. Be careful with the oils that you used though, they might not be suitable for your yoni. If you are not sure, you can wash him lingam at the end and use another type of lubricant for intercourse. Check the specification of the products you use. Massage oil directly in your yoni could create some hiritation or burning sensation. You notice that in this session, the male is passive, the female active. In your next session (same day or days later), you can alternate roles and let him give you a yoni massage this time. In another article, I will describe powerful yoni massage techniques. This lingam massage is such a powerful technique that can totally establish complicity in your relationship. If you are a woman, I fully encourgae you to master that art. You can't imagine how poweful this simple technique is for creating sexual attrction and play between you and your partner. Especially if you feel you need something to spice up or reawaken your sex life, this is definitely one card to ad to your skills. You can practice a lingam massage for instance even if he feels too tired for sex. In this position he can totally relax and let you take care of him. It is REALLY and incredible way to create sexual attraction between you and your partner. More on this technique in another article. To your tantra! Wednesday, July 15, 2009Shouldn't we try to suppress sexual desire? - Isn't tantric sex like adding fuel to the fire? - ARTICLE
Yes! It is adding fuel to the fire.
This question is essential and it is one that many people struggle with. What is the best attitude towards sex? Is it better to put a lid on it? Or is it better to use it and master it, creating beauty and love? Again, you are free to choose what suits you best. You have so many different approaches because different people have different needs. Sex is beautiful! If it wasn't for it, there would be no life on this planet. How could the act which creates life be condemned? Again, this is only one opinion and you are totally free to disagree with this statement. It probably means that for you, sex doesn't have this dimension of sacredness and tantric sex isn't a stream you want to engage into. If you struggle with your sexual energy and trying to suppress sex didn't work too well for you, then tantric sex is definitely an option for you. In my own experience, embracing and using your sexual energy rather than trying to put a lid on it is a very powerful transformation tool. Again, you are free and you have many possible ways to go. Tantric sex is only one of them. To your limitless freedom! How to know if tantric sex is for you - ARTICLE
Here are a couple of ideas:
The best way to find out is to try it. It is very challenging to know how something is going to feel unless you experience it. Experience is what helps you make a choice. If you take a small step and it feels right, uplifting and opening, then it probably means that you are on the right track. By the way, you can't get it wrong. You can always come back to it later, right? Tantric sex gives you tools to master your sexual energy + Lead you to self realization. It wakes up your cosmic or universal identify and helps you transcend the physical reality. If you struggle with your sexual energy and can't find satisfaction in your present sexual expressions, then tantric sex could be for you. The best again is to take small steps and feel how your being responds to these techniques and ideas. You will usually get a VERY clear answer after that. To your tantra! Is tantric sex for everyone? - ARTICLE
Is tantric sex for everyone?
Of course not! Of 100 people, maybe 5 will feel attuned to this stream. We live in a vast diversity of possibilities, traditions and spiritual approaches. This is what makes the joy of being human. It is the fact that we have choices. Many of them! So, if tantric sex doesn't resonate with you, you don't have to embrace it or practice it. Simply search for something that suits you better. I have a total and profound respect for all traditions. Yes, I prefer certain streams myself but these choices are personal not universal. Everyone is 100% free and so are you. Engage in tantric sex from this place of freedom and respect for any other tradition. Using sexual energy as a mean for spiritual realization is by itself very specific. Not everyone will recognize in that stream practices they want to engage into. To your total and limitless freedom! Tuesday, July 14, 2009This intense fire and profound desire... - ARTICLE
This intense fire and profound desire that you feel through your whole being is a stream of energy which embodies itself in you.
You let this flow radiate through your being and it opens doors of pleasure and delight in your being. This intense sensuality that wakes up in you radiates waves of fire any time you feel a touch on your skin. It can be a delicious kiss, simply the touch of a hand or the passionate embrace with another naked being... These sensual pleasures flow through you and open doors of new awareness in you. They are waves of fire. They are limitless and wake up your inner profound tantric identity. You radiate and exchange energy with everything in and around you. Your chakras open up and you feel your heart tingling with refined beauty. Behind these delightful sensations, you experience something much deeper taking place. It is the profound transformation of your whole being. You are now waking up to a whole new reality. It is a state of total intense inner freedom and bliss. You see life exactly the way it is. No words can describe the magic of this beauty you experience right now. It is as if your whole life had been a path leading to this experience. You now know that life will never be the same again. You feel this initiation took place in you. It is a fresh start which cleared old emotions and brings you into a new sphere of awareness. You see now the profound purpose of the intense pleasures you felt before. You are open! You are free! Friday, July 10, 2009Should you just invite someone to have tantric sex? - ARTICLE
Well... In the expression "tantric sex" there is still the word sex!
People might be intrigued or turned off if you are that blunt. If you are good at it and show extreme confidence, that's something you could try. The question is: Why not? What is offensive about an open invitation for what you might both be longing to share? Why would it be wrong to bring up this topic without wasting time in small insignificant talk. You see, you can talk about tantric sex in subtle ways. You can invoke exchange of energy, the play of forces of nature, the mystical realization when you third eye and heart starts opening up, etc. Most people long to experience this more. Why waste time side tracked in areas none of you care about. This is what you need to ask. Remove taboos! Get rid of insecuritites and postion yourself in a place which is totally comfortable with that topic. In fact own your tantric sex energy before you even enter the room and you will see people opening up to this topic. It goes fast! Very fast! Invoking the energy of tantra by itself, bring the energy of tantra between people. This is why it works. You invoke desire! You call for energy exchange! You whisper subtle images of total tantric union. Realize that this process is magical. Words are tantric power! They cary life force and are tools for manifesting energy! Here are some simple ways to bring tantric sex in the core of your conversation without threatening anyone:
What do you do next? Do you simply invite your potential tantric partner for more intimate exploration? Yes, you do! You can say something like: "If you and I wanted to do some tantric sex exploration together, what would be the next easy step you would be comfortable with? For instance would you be ok with me touching your hand? Or would you rather simply us sit in front of each other and meditate on a simple technique together?" You see how respectful these steps are? You must asses your partner's openess so that they don't feel forced or pressured in any way. This is an open invitation and they can tell you exactly the steps they are comfortable with. Even if the step they suggest seems to be tiny, be thankful, take that step and you will see that this simple action usually calls for another simple small action... Which after that naturally calls for more... Simple... One step at a time. Remember: if it is tantric sex exploration you have in mind, don't get side tracked in areas which are irrelevant to this target. Tantric energies are powerful and if you walk that path, you will naturally attract potential partners who are aligned with that specific energy. It is a very natural process! The stronger the tantric energy is in you, the more you attract people who are in tune with this same vibration. Enjoy! http://vitalcoaching.com/tantricsex.htm Giving up on tantric sex? - Are you actually defeated or simply quitting? - ARTICLE
As I said earlier, it takes focus and consistency to win with tantric sex.
Most people will only scratch the surface, have some experiences and then give up because of lack of focus. When this happens, you are not defeated, you simply quit. The thing is that you don't have too many reminders of that energy. You can easily give up because of lack of support or inspiration. This is why you can see this tantric quest as a battle. The environment you live in is VERY practical and material oriented. It is rare to wake up in the morning and for instance dedicate your day to tantric sex exploration. Why is that? Because tantric sex is NOT main stream in the West. Unless you are surrounded by a community dedicated to that quest, the only place you hear about tantric sex is probably through a book in a bookshop somewhere. THIS IS IT! Your next options are to sign up for a workshop on this topic or check for some resources online. So, when the idea comes to mind to make tantric sex a very core aspect of your life, it can appear seriously challenging simply because of lack of mile stones reminding you of that stream. My answer is simple: don't quit! Even a tiny little step forward is STILL a step forward. Tantra is an energy you build up. It is a source of power and inspiration you can embody through your actions and mind sets. Instead of quitting, simply take another small step forward and you will be amazed by what happens next: you will see the path towards another step after that, and another, and another, and another... Tantra does NOT give up on you. If you trust that stream, if you believe in it, you will always see one more possible step forward. Rather than hesitating, guessing, conceptualizing, simply take that step instead. Hesitation builds up resistance. Action builds up trust. ANY action is a victory. Even if that action isn't perfect or incomplete. It is still one step forward that brings you a little closer to your goal. To your Tantra! http://vitalcoaching.com/tantricsex.htm Conflicting interests and other priorities - Tantric sex challenges - ARTICLE
Your mind is filled with lots of stuff.
On a daily base, after work, practicalities + a whole lot more things, what is actually left for tantric sex might not be much. This is the main reason why people will often fail to break through with tantric sex techniques. They simply don't have enough time and energy to invest in them. When they do, they might face challenges they are not sure how to overcome. So, the key to get results is to be consistent and make it a top priority in your life. There is often a tendency to focus on anything but what matters most. Your mind gets distracted and you simply pick up what is there first. This means that you might engage in sexual practices which give you little satisfaction on the long term. Honestly, because of these reasons, tantric sex might not be for everyone. Those who succeed in establishing this energy in the core of their being do get tremendous pleasure and satisfaction out of it. It is such a fine tuning process. It IS an art. One that can take years to master. To your Tantra! http://vitalcoaching.com/tantricsex.htm Social freezing - ARTICLE
This one is a big one!
When you engage in tantric sex and actively express that energy, you will challenge people around you. Suppose you talk about it at a social event or discuss some ideas with a close friend, you will get feed back and very often resistance as well. To transmit these ideas further and express tantric sex in your life you need extra power, focus and energy. This tantric energy is VERY specific. It involves clear mind sets even though there is infinite room for interpretation, the dynamics I mention here are usually present... That is unless you are surrounded by people who already want to experience tantric sex. If they are already in that stream living it day by day, resistance will be very low, it could even be non existent or even turn into a positive force. So, this impact from your environment is always there. If you feel resitstance, it is usually coming from you + people around you. These ideas CHALLENGE most individuals. In fact even talking about sex is challenging for so many. So, when you dive into the technical details of a tantric sex exploration, of course many people will react. Even if they say nothing, you still pick up a "wave" of energy resistance. So, here are some ideas to tackle this specific challenge: ------------------------
If what you talk about stays on a conceptual level and you don't own yet this energy or techniques, you will waste precious life force hitting walls in other people. ------------------------
If you already own these tools, then take tantric action. This means that the moment you are sharing intimacy with someone, you can introduce a practice and inspire others with tantric sex. Again, you don't need explanations, simply slightly direct the exchange you have and ad tantric elements to this exchange. This must be subtle of course because you don't want your sex partner to feel overpowered or controlled. You can ask for permission first. For instance, if you want to use oils on their body, ask them if they are ok with it. If you want to take a sitting position together, again, gently guide them that way. You need to be super flexible with that. I'll say more about the art of guiding your partner in another post... ------------------------
People need what you have to offer them. Your future partners will be delighted to share tantric energies with you. Most people crave for that but rarely have the tools to develop that energy in them. They simply don't master it. They will probably still resist because a tantric approach can conflict with other minds sets people can have. They can:
The point is that unless you are leading a seminar on this topic or you are faced with a social audience which is really open minded, you don't have to convince everyone. It is much better to focus your action and hit your target. Your target is an experience! The trick is to be armed with extra trust and a couple of break through techniques. http://vitalcoaching.com/tantricsex.htm ArchivesJuly 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 August 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 February 2009 July 2009 August 2009 December 2009 February 2010
Yoni massage - Clitoris stimulation - Advanced technique - FOR MEN - ARTICLE
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
|
|
