I have been dating a WONDERFUL man for 5 months.  Neither of us have been married before but we are both sure that we want to marry each other.  I cannot imagine anyone being as good to me as he is. 

He makes me very happy and says that I make him very happy as well.  He is 100% sure that he is in love with me but I do not know if I am "in love" with him. 

I sometimes wonder if my motives for marrying him are selfish (because I think that he would be a very good husband and I would always do my best to be a good wife). 

Everyone keeps telling me you have to be "in love" with the person.  I am not even sure what that means anymore.  Should I consider marrying him under these circumstances?

Hi,

How are you today?

Congratulations for that. Looks like an exciting step for the two of you.

The feeling of being in love is a very key emotion or energy. It is not the only component of marriage though. Personality traits, personal situation, past, fun, pleasure, connections... There are so many dimensions to a relationship. Feeling or being in love is one of them.

I feel that what you are missing is one simple part fo the puzzle. It is an important one of course.

Can I ask you a couple of questions? To find the answer to your question, it would be good if you could quickly answer them and send them back to me...

• Have you been in love before meeting this man?

• How high is the level of passion in your relationship? (0-100%)

• Have you ever met someone that turned you on much more than this present man does? (I don't mean just sexually, I mean emotional excitement)

• Are you a loving person in general. I mean, do you feel like you care a lot for people, nature, your family, etc? (0-100%)

• Is this feeling of being in love something which is missing in your life in general or is it missing in this relationship only?

Enjoy!

Francisco