HER SHADOW COCKTAILS

A woman’s shadows are complex.

What she projects on you is often the result of a mixture of emotions, mindsets, beliefs or wounds.

It’s not just one emotion!

It is a multidimensional energetic experience that involves beliefs, feelings, conditioning, influences, bodily sensations and much more.

On the surface you can have what I call shadow cocktails which are a mixture of multiple shadows.

Lately I was interviewing a few women in my social circle and here is what came up:

FIRST WOMAN

My core shadows when relating to men:

  • Wanting to feel special 
  • Ego shadows 
  • Always be validated
  • I want him to only have eyes for me
  • Competitive with the guy
  • Jealousy about other girls

My core reactions when men don’t respond to my expectations:

  • I say really bad things about them
  • I go into negative self talk about them
  • I disconnect
  • I delete everything about them like pictures and other memories
  • I go into closed hearted attitude

SECOND WOMAN

My core shadows when relating to men:

  • Abandonment issues / Dad issues
  • Feeling not good enough
  • Being demanding 
  • I get attached
  • It pisses me off when he doesn’t listen or stay present

What I would need?

  • Compassion
  • Listening
  • Not reacting

Men’s reaction to my shadows:

  • He made me look at myself and forced me to be alone
  • He didn’t want to hear about my feeling after a while

THIRD WOMAN

My core shadows when relating to men:

  • Caring too much about what other people think
  • Fear of being judged
  • Fear of not being good enough with work or looks
  • Abused by girls, beaten up by them
  • Fear of being used sexually by men
  • Clinical depression and anxiety

Men’s reaction to my shadows:

  • Men would run
  • Because they couldn’t fix me, they would run 
  • Rejection
  • Objectifying me
CONCLUSION

The reason I share these examples is to make you realise that the shadow sets you are exposed to are not just one emotion or one action.
These shadow cocktails can be complex and intricate and women expect a very specific set of reactions from men.
As soon as I ask, women tell me exactly how they expect men to respond to female shadows.
In this case, they said things like:
  • I want you to stay present
  • Listen
  • Don’t disconnect
  • Have compassion
  • Hear me
  • See me
See what’s happening?
They want to sustain connection in the core of their challenges.
At least this is what comes through from these examples.
Of course, it’s more complex than that!
If it was that simple we would be done by now!
Stay tuned for more!