Her mind and emotions are not permanent.
Blaming her for something she did years back is missing to recognize that maybe today, she would respond in radically different ways to the same situation.
Do you get that?
Her shadows evolve!
They can be highly impermanent!
They can highly vary in intensity as well.
When you describe her being, are you describing what she is today or are you tapping in a story from the past?
Keep that in mind.