Jealousy and controlling attitudes from your partner can be super abusive.
The moment this happens, it can make your life miserable.
The first question to ask yourself is:
Is his jealousy justified or not?
Suppose that you are in a committed relationship and that you cheat on him.
His reaction justified jealousy. You are betraying the exclusiveness aggreement that you have with him.
On the other hand, if he systematically questions your behaviors, verbally attacks you without reason or engages into self pity and insecure discourses, that’s unjustified jealousy.
In 95% of the cases, jealousy is unjustified.
Partners feel jealous not because of something real but because of what could happen if…
They imagine things that don’t exist.
If your partner is in that category and wants to limit you, you have the right to defend your space and freedom.
When you enter in a relationship, you are not saying: “From now on, I give you the right to tell me what to do.”
No, what you are saying is: “I want to partner with you because we are a good match and I want to stay in charge of my life.”
See the difference?
So, when a partner tries to limit you without reason, it is your right to defend yourself.
Your right for self determination and freedom is actually one of your most basic human rights.
If your partner tries to limit you, he robs you from one of your most basic rights as a human being and abuses a power you didn’t even give him.
You need to educate him!
Here are a few strategies you can use:
- Reassure him – Sometimes that’s all he needs – “I love you and have no intention of cheating on you…”
- Strengthen your boundaries – “I don’t remember giving you the right to tell me what to do”
Educating him is a big chunk!
It can take lots of focus and consistency + It can really feel exhausting.
Actually, many women break up with their partner over this type of jealousy or insecurity issues.
If your partner is in that category, you might really wonder if it worth even trying.
If you date a guy who is more emotionally mature, your relationship gets way easier!
So, yes… If educating him bears little results, stepping out might be your next logical option…
To your power and total happiness!