A man’s jealousy is at 90% a desire to control you: control your moves, your actions, what you do.
He justifies this needs to control by thinking things like: “she’ll betray me”, “I can’t trust her”, etc.
Extreme jealousy from a man is a form of emotional abuse.
No matter how much you give away, he’ll tend to stay dissatisfied about your attitude.
As you can imagine, jealousy can lead to violent behavior. We enter straight into the field of domestic violence and emotional abuse. All this supposedly in the name of love? No way!
There are limits of course. There are boundaries in a relationship. Some of these boundaries are healthy. Some others are not.
Giving each other sexual exclusivity is a healthy step. Now, if your partner asks you to never look at another man again, he obviously crosses a border! This is back to the middle ages!
This is battle for your own personal power. The way to maintain a harmonious relationship is to separate what is healthy and what is not. Some boundaries or limits are useless. They kill the relationship. They kill your life force and make you very unhappy and alienated.
When a man has very high requirements, you can bend and accept them or fight for your basic human rights. A relationship is not a prison. It is a place to feel good about yourself. It is an occasion to expand your inner freedom and grow as a human being.
Is your partner helping you with that or is he limiting your growth? That’s the real question to ask.
The goal is to express your full power while establishing real complicity within the relationship.
You want to reassure your partner and at the same time educate him to trust you.
If you are on the edge of being in an abusive relationship, it’s sign that it’s time to wake up your power again. How? Get help, support, shift your mind set from victim to winner.
No need to make yourself smaller than you are.
Don’t stay in abusive situations in the name of love for your partner. Love yourself first! You are the first person you need to respect. Defend your territory and self worth. This is about protecting your personal space and freedom of action.