First of all, when I say “Master her shadows”, I mean “Master the way you respond to her shadows”, “Master your response to her shadows”.
This means have a clear set of successful tactics to respond when she exposes you to her shadows.
Stay steady in the middle of these shadows, welcome her confusion, anger, whatever is up for her.
If she needs space, give her space, if she is angry, let her be angry!
Let her dive in the labyrinths of her own shadows, she’s used to it.
She loves it!
There is no part of her that really wants to give up on that frequency.
It’s part of her nature, her being.
So, soften up when you feel her shadows.
No reactive mode!
Let go of the stories associated with that expression of her shadow attacks.
Stay in your truth!
You know who you are!
This means a certain sense of acceptance!
You might spend months trying to rescue her from her shadows, trying to help her shift patterns.
And you might achieve some success.
That’s called educating her, supporting her, coaching her, guiding her or holding space for her.
But at the end, she might go back to her conditioned nature.
A woman who has been a lot in her shadows her whole life will be conditioned to repeat that same pattern.
It’s embedded in her genes, in her neuro pathways.
As a partner or lover, identifying how to relate to these shadows is key!
Trying to control or shift her shadows might trigger an even deeper shadow response in her.
If there is a certain shadow volume in her, this volume might stay steady unless she engages in a deep transformation process she wants to honor and own.
But that process is not something you can control or direct!
It must come from within her, from her whole being.
If you try to avoid or reject her shadows, they will probably come up in various ways.
By trying to avoid her triggers and shifting your behaviors, you might achieve some temporary peace and success.
But at the end, her shadows will re-emerge because the deep source of these shadows is still active.
If you tackle the symptoms which are the external aspects of her shadow expression, you don’t tackle the real source, you just tackle what you can see on the surface.
So what is the real source of her shadows?
We will check that in another article