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Is he still interested? Why is he suddenly acting distant?

Question from jfv

I have been talking to this guy for about 4-5 weeks now. We have been on multiple dates, all of which ended up being a lot of fun. After 2 weeks of talking, he started calling me almost everyday and/or texting me multiple times in a day. He even brought up the fact that he had been talking to a couple of other girls before he met me and wanted to end all of that because he thought him we had shot at something real here. He would send me texts that would say, "I’m going to make you fall in love w/ me…" He even wanted me to meet all of his friends when they were all hanging out at a bar to watch a football game and was genuinely disappointed when I couldn’t make it.

For the most part, he was the one expressing his feelings or rather, thoughts this way and I felt the same way but I would almost always say things [i:3f6ze5py]after [/i:3f6ze5py]he would say something. I just want to be cautious because I’ve been hurt in the past and when I get involved with someone, I get very emotional.

Anyways, we even spent a night together at a hotel (which was his idea) because both of us live w/ our parents for now (he even said we would simply hang out and not have sex. He just wanted to spend some time w/ me.) We decided to take things slow day one because we felt a strong connection. Therefore- we barely had sex when we spent the night (if the "barely" part makes sense..)

After that, he got really sick which was two weeks ago & things have suddenly slowed down. I’m not sure what to make of it. We talked while he was sick but it felt very distant as opposed to how we had been talking before that. I finally emailed him and told him that I wasn’t sure what was up with him so he called me a couple of days later and said that he had just been sick and wanted to catch up. We went to dinner the next day (earlier this week) and the date started a bit awkward but things picked up and I felt like we were almost back to where we left it off.
But now, I feel like he is really acting distant again and it has only been 3 days since that date.

Since we aren’t really exclusive yet, I’m trying to date other people (which i don’t think he knows about) but my heart is just not into anyone else right now.

Any advise as to what he might be thinking? I feel like he is interested but something happened that pulled him back and now I’m not sure if it is worth it for me. By the way, everyone adivises girls to play it cool during the 1st few stages of dating so I’m trying not to ask him to spend time w/ me unless he brings it up. However, since he has wanted to see me twice after our date this week and sounded a bit irritated ‘cuz I haven’t been able to, I sent him a text to ask if he wanted to go to lunch with me today which he never responded to and it is now evening…

Should I even bother to to make an effort to act a bit more interested in him? Is that even the issue here? Am I just being impatient or is he just not into me?


Saturday, January 13th, 2007

One Response to “Is he still interested? Why is he suddenly acting distant?”

  1. vitalcoaching says:

    Here are some ideas

    There can be dozens of things going on in his life which have nothing to do with you: problems at work, worries, money issues, health problems, ex suddenly shoing up in his life, him meeting someone else, etc.

    You notice that none of them are caased by you.

    Sometimes a guy just needs space and pulls back.

    One of the reasons he can do that is because the relationship starts loosing its freshness, spontaneity or challenge. Basically, he gets bored with it. Everything becomes predictable and he looses interest.

    This is just one possibility.

    Any form of demand or pressure in the initial stages of dating are massive turn offs.

    Most guys respond [u:3jmtajfb]very[/u:3jmtajfb] negatively to any form of pressure, especially if they notice that you are extremely needy.

    These are only possibilities.

    Shifts can happen very fast! He can go from madly in love to totally gone in a day!

    Most of the times, this will hapepn for one of the reasons mentioned above.

    Check this video

    http://vitalcoaching.com/videos/d1/keep … months.htm

    might be the clue you are looking for.

    Get this e-book:

    http://vitalcoaching.com/dating/forwome … _a_man.htm

    It’s free access right now and gives you dozens of cool extra strategies to be successful with dating

    Good luck! :wink:

    vitalcoach