Me and this guy with who I work have started to grow very close
Me and this guy with who I work have started to grow very close but we are both shy/nervous people and I don’t know how to proceed into starting a personal relationship without endangering our professional relationship. I am just so afraid that if I make a move that it could weird him out and make things difficult to be around him as much as we are. I want him to make a move to take the pressure off me but he is just so shy. I also don’t want to wait till this project is over because if I wait too long he may find another girl in that time.
What do I do?
Your concerns are real: often people who work together will have an adventure one day and then feel totally awkward about having to work together again. It’s nuts but it is like that. The best is to be open with him. Break the ice and find out what he feels himself. I know, the mystery and magic are pretty exciting but it’s good to bring in a dimension of realism in that case (without killing the sparks of romance!!!).
Invite him for a drink and tell him you find him attractive. Don’t offer yourself to him in sentimental waves. This has to be fun and light. Just tell him about the feelings which are growing and that you feel the two of you could have a great time together.
Tell him exactly what you told me here about your professional situation and that you don’t want to mess it up. Make a move and let him respond. Get a feeling of what’s going on in his mind.
If he is attracted to you, it will be easier. If you start something with him, distinguish between your two hats: business partners or lovers. Be clear with what you are doing when you are doing it. Keep the two realities separate to protect the project you work on together. Stay awake and realist!
If he does not respond, step back and take back your “professional hat”. Stay open and friendly in the future.
This could be great fun! I wish you 2 a good time!