Why would you blame someone else for the experience you are having?
Why would you victimize yourself instead of taking action and shifting the frequency of your experience?
Because it’s easy!
And it is disempowering as fuck!
When you own your experience, you accept your flaws, shadows or imperfections.
You accept the fact that you are an active cocreator of your experience!
Owning your experience gives you tremendous power and a unique ability to shift your reality at will!
It gives you access points to shift what you don’t like!
Why would you blame instead of owning your experience?
Because accepting responsibility means as well that you accept flaws!
And accepting flaws, shadows or imperfections means accepting them in others as well.
It gives you the responsibility to do something about it if you don’t like it!
This “doing something about it” might require time, energy, focus, instrospection and… EFFORT!
Blaming others is WAY EASIER!
No need to invest yourself in a transformational process!
Transformation and change requires ENERGY.
So blaming someone else is our way of minimalizing effort.
Here is another dynamic that plays a role as well:
Being guilty of imperfection usually is seen as a lowering of your power.
If you are a leader, traditionally, you don’t want to show weaknesses or vulnerabilities.
That’s the old model!
The new model is BEING REAL!
OWNING YOUR SHADOWS IS SEXY!
This is the new story!
A mature human has awareness rather than denial!
A mature being takes responsibility for shifting their actions, attitudes, emotional responses if their experience doesn’t satisfy them.
Positively influencing others is beautiful and can still happen of course!
Offering your partner constructive feedback, reflections on your experience is still precious in any coupling experience!
And… The new attitude that might open a whole new range of possibilities and expansion in your relationship is to…
OWN YOUR EXPERIENCE!
“Here is how I am contributing to this experience…”
“Here is how I am attracting this is my field…”
“Here is what I can do to change our dynamics…”
“I take full responsibility for not showing up in a mature way…”
“Here is how I underperformed in this situation…”
“Here is how my response escalates conflict between us…”
You get the picture, right?
QUESTIONS FOR YOU…
– In what specific situations did you blame someone else instead of taking responsibility?
– How does it feel when you own your experience?
– How does it feel to acknowledge your shadows?
– What happens to your couple when you stop blaming or projecting?
– Think of a couple situations where you could own your experience instead of blaming the other?
– How would you voice it or share it?
Blaming others is addictive!
Owning your experience requires a conscious decision to shift your response to your shadow outbreaks, conflicts, tension or discomfort.
It’s within range!
Make it happen!
If you don’t know were to start or feel stacked in blaming cycles, I can help!
I LOVE YOU!
(JAYA = VICTORY)