POLY WISDOM – KEYS FOR POLYAMORY MASTERY

Raw insights about polyamory, monoamory, marriage, sexual respect, boundaries and much more.

This is a VERY sensitive topic for many. Apologies if anything I say here offends you in any way.

My goal is not to force you into any mind set, Rather give you new frames that might be useful to you.

If what I say here is of no use to you, that’s no problem, move on and search for something else that is.

Feel free to share your insights.

Love you!

IF IT DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU

The fact that polyamory doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean that polyamory doesn’t work

POLYGAMY IS QUITE COMMON

Many societies around the world are based on polygamy

IF MARRIAGE DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU…

The fact that marriage doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean that marriage cannot work

YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP MODEL

Design your own relationship model. You have plenty of possible variations

STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE OTHERS

Stop trying to convince others that your relationship model is better than theirs

IF IT WORKS FOR YOU…

The fact that your relationship model works for you doesn’t mean that it will work for everyone

MONOAMORY IS STILL THE MAIN MODEL

Right now, monoamory is still the prevalent model for 95% of people in the western world

TRADITIONAL FAMILIES ARE STILL BASED ON SEXUAL EXCLUSIVENESS

The reason why monoamory is still the prevalent model for most people around the world is because traditional family structure is still based on sexual exclusiveness

CHEATING IS A FORM OF POLYAMORY

Cheating is a form of polyamory in disguise

SERIAL DATING IS ANOTHER FORM OF POLYAMORY

Serial dating is another form of polyamory in disguise

YOU CAN BE POLYAMOROUS AND SEXUALLY EXCLUSIVE

You can be polyamorous and sexuallly exclusive. This means that you only have sex with one person and might share various levels of sensual or emotional intimacy with multiple partners

DIFFERENT LEVELS OF INTIMACY

You have different possible levels of intimacy

RESPECT EACH OTHER’S CHOICES

We won’t get anywhere as a human race until we learn how to respect each other’s beliefs, choices or sexual preferences. Respecting both monoamory and polyamory is no exception to that rule

SAY “IT DOESN’T WORK FOR ME”

Saying that polyamory doesn’t work is as limiting and narrow as saying that homosexuality or marriage doesn’t work. Say “It doesn’t work FOR ME” instead

DON’T GENERALIZE BASED ON ONE EXPERIENCE

The fact that a polyamory partner betrays you doesn’t mean that polyamory doesn’t work, it simply means that one human being betrayed you. Don’t make assumptions or overgeneralize based on one experience. Stick to the facts

MARRIAGE DOES WORK

In a similar way, the fact that cheating and divorce often happens in marriages doesn’t mean that marriage doesn’t work

MAKE IT HAPPEN

If you want monoamory make it happen. If you want polyamory make it happen. It’s in your hands

NOBODY CAN FORCE YOU

If someone tries to force you into a polyamory relationship against your will, they betray your right for self determination

WHAT WORKS FOR YOU

It’s up for you to decide what works best for you

TAKE SMALL STEPS

If you don’t know what you want when it comes to dating, relationships, mono or polyamory take small steps in various directions and see what makes you happy

RESPECT

Don’t be a polyamory hater or a marriage hater! Being a hater of any sort doesn’t serve you! Respect!

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DISAGREE

If someone tries to convince you that polyamory is right for you, you have the right to disagree

IF IT CHALLENGES YOU

The fact that you experience discomfort and challenge with polyamory doesn’t necessarily mean that it doesn’t work for you. It could mean as well that it expands you.

TAKING YOU TO YOUR EDGE?

In the same way, the fact that you experience challenge in monoamory doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work. It might mean that it takes you to your edge and makes you a more powerful being

CONTRADICTIONS?

Many people claim to be monoamorous but their actions, attitudes and choices tell you the exact opposite

SEXUAL FREEDOM?

If you want to enjoy your sexual freedom you must be ready to embrace your partner’s sexual freedom too

SEXUAL INTOLERANCE

There is such a thing as sexual intolerance. It’s what people do when they say that homosexuality, polyamory or monoamory are not normal

YOUR CHOICES

The fact that you embrace certain sexual choices doesn’t mean that everyone else has to embrace them too

MIGHT NOT WORK FOR OTHERS IT

If you are polyamorous, stop trying to convince others that your sexual choices are better. What works for you might not work for others

OPEN INVITATION

If you are polyamorous and have something to suggest or offer to others, offer it as an open invitation rather than an experience or belief you try to force on others

NEW DEFINITIONS FOR POLYAMORY?

New definitions for polyamory? monoamory = you love yourself – duoamory = you love just one other person – polyamory = you love more than one other person

UNLIMITED

You have an unlimited number of possible relationship model variations

CHECK IN FIRST

Before you sexually engage with someone, it is always a good idea to check sexual preferences first to make sure you are a good match

BOUNDARIES

When we talk about relationship models we mainly talk about boundaries, values, what is ok and what is not

HOW DEEP?

Sometimes, you might have a 1 minute one time experience that goes way deeper than many marriages. How long it lasts is not an indication for how deep it went

GO DEEP WITH MULTIPLE PARTNERS?

You can go deep with multiple partners

FEELINGS EVOLVE

Feelings change. You might say I love you to someone and I love you to some else the following day, week or year. Both of these experiences can be true and real

IMPERMANENCE?

Being polyamorous or monoamorous is not necessarily a permanent thing, it can evolve and shift over time

INCONGRUENCIES?

Some people say they are monoamorous but behave in polyamorous ways. Some others say they are polyamorous but behave in monoamorous ways

POLYAMOROUS AND SEXUALLY EXCLUSIVE?

You might be polyamorous and decide to be sexually exclusive

IMPERFECTION

Polyamory is not a perfect model. It is an evolving experiment and has it’s own set of unique shadows and challenges, like any other aspect of life expression