Raw insights about polyamory, monoamory, marriage, sexual respect, boundaries and much more.
This is a VERY sensitive topic for many. Apologies if anything I say here offends you in any way.
My goal is not to force you into any mind set, Rather give you new frames that might be useful to you.
If what I say here is of no use to you, that’s no problem, move on and search for something else that is.
Feel free to share your insights.
IF IT DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU
The fact that polyamory doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean that polyamory doesn’t work
POLYGAMY IS QUITE COMMON
Many societies around the world are based on polygamy
IF MARRIAGE DOESN’T WORK FOR YOU…
The fact that marriage doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean that marriage cannot work
YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP MODEL
Design your own relationship model. You have plenty of possible variations
STOP TRYING TO CONVINCE OTHERS
Stop trying to convince others that your relationship model is better than theirs
IF IT WORKS FOR YOU…
The fact that your relationship model works for you doesn’t mean that it will work for everyone
MONOAMORY IS STILL THE MAIN MODEL
Right now, monoamory is still the prevalent model for 95% of people in the western world
TRADITIONAL FAMILIES ARE STILL BASED ON SEXUAL EXCLUSIVENESS
The reason why monoamory is still the prevalent model for most people around the world is because traditional family structure is still based on sexual exclusiveness
CHEATING IS A FORM OF POLYAMORY
Cheating is a form of polyamory in disguise
SERIAL DATING IS ANOTHER FORM OF POLYAMORY
Serial dating is another form of polyamory in disguise
YOU CAN BE POLYAMOROUS AND SEXUALLY EXCLUSIVE
You can be polyamorous and sexuallly exclusive. This means that you only have sex with one person and might share various levels of sensual or emotional intimacy with multiple partners
DIFFERENT LEVELS OF INTIMACY
You have different possible levels of intimacy
RESPECT EACH OTHER’S CHOICES
We won’t get anywhere as a human race until we learn how to respect each other’s beliefs, choices or sexual preferences. Respecting both monoamory and polyamory is no exception to that rule
SAY “IT DOESN’T WORK FOR ME”
Saying that polyamory doesn’t work is as limiting and narrow as saying that homosexuality or marriage doesn’t work. Say “It doesn’t work FOR ME” instead
DON’T GENERALIZE BASED ON ONE EXPERIENCE
The fact that a polyamory partner betrays you doesn’t mean that polyamory doesn’t work, it simply means that one human being betrayed you. Don’t make assumptions or overgeneralize based on one experience. Stick to the facts
MARRIAGE DOES WORK
In a similar way, the fact that cheating and divorce often happens in marriages doesn’t mean that marriage doesn’t work
MAKE IT HAPPEN
If you want monoamory make it happen. If you want polyamory make it happen. It’s in your hands
NOBODY CAN FORCE YOU
If someone tries to force you into a polyamory relationship against your will, they betray your right for self determination
WHAT WORKS FOR YOU
It’s up for you to decide what works best for you
TAKE SMALL STEPS
If you don’t know what you want when it comes to dating, relationships, mono or polyamory take small steps in various directions and see what makes you happy
Don’t be a polyamory hater or a marriage hater! Being a hater of any sort doesn’t serve you! Respect!
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DISAGREE
If someone tries to convince you that polyamory is right for you, you have the right to disagree
IF IT CHALLENGES YOU
The fact that you experience discomfort and challenge with polyamory doesn’t necessarily mean that it doesn’t work for you. It could mean as well that it expands you.
TAKING YOU TO YOUR EDGE?
In the same way, the fact that you experience challenge in monoamory doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work. It might mean that it takes you to your edge and makes you a more powerful being
Many people claim to be monoamorous but their actions, attitudes and choices tell you the exact opposite
If you want to enjoy your sexual freedom you must be ready to embrace your partner’s sexual freedom too
There is such a thing as sexual intolerance. It’s what people do when they say that homosexuality, polyamory or monoamory are not normal
The fact that you embrace certain sexual choices doesn’t mean that everyone else has to embrace them too
MIGHT NOT WORK FOR OTHERS IT
If you are polyamorous, stop trying to convince others that your sexual choices are better. What works for you might not work for others
If you are polyamorous and have something to suggest or offer to others, offer it as an open invitation rather than an experience or belief you try to force on others
NEW DEFINITIONS FOR POLYAMORY?
New definitions for polyamory? monoamory = you love yourself – duoamory = you love just one other person – polyamory = you love more than one other person
You have an unlimited number of possible relationship model variations
CHECK IN FIRST
Before you sexually engage with someone, it is always a good idea to check sexual preferences first to make sure you are a good match
When we talk about relationship models we mainly talk about boundaries, values, what is ok and what is not
Sometimes, you might have a 1 minute one time experience that goes way deeper than many marriages. How long it lasts is not an indication for how deep it went
GO DEEP WITH MULTIPLE PARTNERS?
You can go deep with multiple partners
Feelings change. You might say I love you to someone and I love you to some else the following day, week or year. Both of these experiences can be true and real
Being polyamorous or monoamorous is not necessarily a permanent thing, it can evolve and shift over time
Some people say they are monoamorous but behave in polyamorous ways. Some others say they are polyamorous but behave in monoamorous ways
POLYAMOROUS AND SEXUALLY EXCLUSIVE?
You might be polyamorous and decide to be sexually exclusive
Polyamory is not a perfect model. It is an evolving experiment and has it’s own set of unique shadows and challenges, like any other aspect of life expression