They take a victim role
You are not a victim, you area winner. In fact this break up might be the best thing which ever happened to you. Put it this way: you are free!
They still hope to get back together
She is gone and gone forever. You won’t get back together. In other terms don’t hope she’ll change her mind. If you meet her by coincidence, don’t see this as a secret sign that you two are meant for each other”
They believe they need her
You don’t need her. This is an illusion. You are perfectly fine with or without her.
They believe she was the one
You will meet new girls. Right now, she does not deserve the attention your give her.
They go into a self destructive spiral
Alcohol or drugs does not help. Getting drunk is the worst thing you can do. Drinking does not give you your power back. In fact it does exactly the opposite.
They believe that the more they say they care, the more chances she has of coming back
What they chose for is power and confidence. Do your realize that your sentimentalism is a turn off. Shift your mind set!
They fail to create fresh space
Have you ever had that experience? You call a friend who broke up 6 months ago. He used to live together with his partner. Now he is alone. The message on the phone says: “Hi, this is the house of X and Y (name of his ex), bla, bla, bla…” What does it say? “I am still attached to the vision of us being together”.
Then you see your friend’s house and there are signs of her presence everywhere (she is gone for six months now!): old picture, old note on the fridge, a souvenir from a tropical holiday, etc.
You see the picture? What do you think? What would you do?
They believe that they have rights
You might believe you have rights? You don’t! Simple as that. She does what she wants, when she wants, with whoever she wants. You have no control over that.