When launching communities, one of the skills you have to learn and develop is how to be an optimized leader for this community.
In some cases, the original intention is to create no hierarchy so that we are all on the same level.
I quickly realize that this vision was not too realistic for various reasons.
The first one is that I am the only one who invested financially, had all the pricing and agreements negotiations with the owners of the place.
The second point is that I am the only one being here permanently, welcoming and integrating new visitors and so on.
The third point is that quite a few people told me I should take this leadership position, set up clear and empowering structures and protect the space by having clear boundaries.
I do the shopping and take care of all infrastructures to make sure the place is running in optimized ways. I make decisions like turning the kitchen into a raw food space. I make strategic decisions about cleaning, connection with neighbors, maintenance, etc.
I created and hold space for practices, events and workshops. I did set up the format for morning activations practices and have been leading most events so far.
I did set up VITAL GATE as temple space, activating it with mantras and symbols, doing rituals and invocations to activate the energy.
Most of the practices at VITAL GATE are aligned with my VITAL TANTRA and VITAL COACHING systems. These represent the core mindsets and practices we use here.
This means that I am doing 95% of what it takes to launch and sustain this community.
This naturally positions me as the only leader or master of this community so far.
I use the word master in a very conscious way.
I see the glory, respect, authenticity and beauty in it.
If you have negative emotional associations with that word, feel free to use another term that feels more appropriate to you.
I discovered 2 clear YAMI STYLES or LEADERSHIP STYLES I have now been using consciously.
The first style is firm and strong.
The second style is flexible and gentle.
I am consciously playing with these 2 complementary qualities and shifting from one to the other depending on the context.
Being a DAVARA YAMI or GATE MASTER is definitely an art form and I deeply enjoy discovering the energies and mind sets that sustain that role.
I am totally committed to being the best I can at it and developing new mind sets and skills if I have to. I shifted for instance my communication style multiple times each time I noticed that it needed improvement. I have been as well asking for and integrating feed back since the beginning of this project.
Being a GATE MASTER has been one of the core learning experience for me at VITAL GATE.
Another core skill I discovered was navigating between being a friend or manager.
As a friend, you invite people into your space.
Boundaries and agreements are often very blurry.
As a manager, you set up clear agreements, use leadership skills and protect the interests of what you create.
Those are two fundamentally different roles or hats you can wear.
They are two different agendas as well.
Talking to a friends and having clear and firm agreements with them especially about payments or vital gate guidelines has been has been a fascinating experience.
Because if you face a managing challenge with a friend it can impact the friendship as well.
So clarity, firmness or flexibilty, playing skillfully with these different attitudes especially with friends has been such a revealing experience.
What I do now is I consciously choose the hat I am wearing and let them know when I communicate with them.
I might say something like “I have something a bit challenging to tell you and to do that I will put my manager’s hat – My role here is to protect the community and this is why I have to share this with you…”
I am going in detail in explaining this specific subtelties because they make a huge difference at how good you are at being in these two roles, friend and manager.
For me it is like discovering a new art form.
I love it!