VITAL GATE – SHARING

Another core aspect of a VITAL GATE is daily group sharing.Set up a sharing circle to check how everyone is doing.

Here are some guidelines about that practice:

  • We set up a timer and each person gets 3,5 or 7 min depending on group size and day’s energy.
  • When you share, simply answer the question “How are you feeling right now?” or “what’s alive in you right now?”
  • Be real with your sharing. Say truly what is at the core of your being. You don’t have to please anyone.
  • Listen to the one sharing without interrupting, cross talking or asking questions.
  • At the end of a person’s sharing, we can offer reflection or follow up questions.
  • This 1 min max reflection is short and to the point.
  • If you want to offer reflection, ask first to the person “Are you open to receive some reflection?”.
  • If they say “yes”, try to start with “This is how your sharing made me feel…” rather than offering advice, lecturing or coaching them.
  • These reflections are not invitations to enter into a conversation.
  • You can be very specific with what you want to offer as reflection so that the person knows exactly what they say yes to.
  • You can for instance say: are you open to receive “Reflection”, “Question”, “Clarification”, “Coaching”, “Advice”, “Challenge”, “Truth”, etc.
  • This means that when you offer reflection, identify exactly what you want to offer. Identify your exact intention.
  • If you feel that your reflection will be challenging, ask something like “Are you open to receive some challenging reflection?” so that the person receiving is warned.
  • If you are the one receiving reflection, simply take it in and say “thank you”.
  • You can reflect back by asking the person who reflected if they are open to receive follow up reflection.
  • If someone asks to offer you reflection, it is ok to say “No” if you don’t want it right now.
  • At the end of the sharing circle, let people process what they shared without following up on what they said. Simply give them undisturbed time to reflect on whatever they shared. Ideally 24 hours to let them feel into what they shared.
  • If something comes up during the sharing that requires group or individual coaching or discussion, we might engage into it at the end with just one person a smaller group or the whole team.
  • It is possible to take turns facilitating the sharing. Either one person does it all the time or one person does it for a week and then someone else takes over. You can as well alternate facilitator daily if that’s a better fit.
  • It is usually more powerful to have sharing facilitated by someone who is experienced with it.
  • Sometimes, especially when you are only 2 or 3 participants, sharing will be less formal often not timed, more spontaneous or free flow.
  • This is obvious of course but stay present and don’t use your cell phone or tablet, unless it’s for timing or taking notes.