This is a fascinating exciting topic we don’t often dive into:
I get a deep sense of excitement when focusing on these ideas and designing tactics to play with conflict and friction.
The idea is to be comfortable around the energy of friction or fights.
You are probably bombarded a few times a week with fights or conflict situations!
Some of these conflicts might be omnipresent in your life.
You might for instance be in a divorce battle with an ex, or in high tensions with a neighbor, angry with what a friend did years ago, still in pain for feeling rejected by a parent, etc.
In a “conscious” community, tensions and frictions are everywhere.
They appear in the form of unsolved conflicts with specific people, competitive attitudes when you offer similar services, deep rooted frustrations because you felt abused or disrespected by someone and never voiced it, etc.
Just in the last 24 hours, I had 3 different discussions in unrelated situations that were all about unsolved conflicts people were sharing concerning specific aspects of their lives.
Take an authentic minute and look at your life and situation right now.
I am sure you can identify at least 5 ongoing conflicts, tensions or unresolved fights.
Write them down!
What would happen if you solve them?
Conflicts can be either within yourself or with others.
We’ll check the inner conflicts another time as they involve very different tactics and mind sets.
Right now we are looking at conflicts with others.
The reason these conflicts might stay awake and unresolved is because we often miss the tools to master these situations.
You might miss the tools to:
SAY I AM SORRY
FIGHT WITH FUN
ENGAGE IN CONSTRUCTIVE FEED BACK
EXPRESS YOUR TRUTH
EXPRESS YOUR ANGER IN SAFE WAYS
HAVE SAFE FIGHT SIMULATION SPACES
OWN YOUR FRUSTRATION
BE OK WITH DISAGREEING
All these examples are about tension, friction and fights!
The problem is not the fight!
The problem is being dominated by emotions, situations, mind sets we don’t own, control or master!
Being angry can be an incredibly euphoric experience that opens whole new gateways of energy and realizations in you!
The problem is not the anger!
It is how it is expressed or not expressed!
The problem is how it can get stacked in your system and create this limiting disturbance in your field!
The problem is not having a fight!
The problem is being totally clueless and ungrounded in the middle of it!
The problem is letting this fight sometimes destroy what you care for the most!
I have seen the most incredible resolutions coming out of friction!
I am sure you did too!
Think about a conflict or friction situation in your life that led you to an awakening experience!
How powerful was that experience?
How did it shift your perspective and led you to constructive follow up action?
Would this action have happened without the friction?
If we manage to solve and master conflicts on a small personal scale, then we can start looking at larger scale conflict resolutions!
Yes! Wars! How do you think they originate?
Large scale wars are reflections of small scale conflicts happening in your life.
If you solve it in your life, you take a massive step to solve it on a large scale.
Look, many of those who read this message see themselves as part of a conscious community, right?
Expressed or not, you might see yourself as part of an elite!
Well, if we want credibility in the eyes of the invisible and the forces that watch over us, we better look at this shadow aspect and do that fast!
Because as long as we don’t, we are stacked in our evolution as a tribe and as individuals!
I believe that the inability to master conflict situations is one of the major road blocks in our evolution.
Your Asana in the yoga hall might be refined to perfection but you can’t pass through the gates of higher initiation if there is one person in the room you can’t stand.
You don’t need to love everybody!
It’s totally ok to be frustrated and angry with someone but own it!
LOOK AT IT!
DO SOMETHING WITH IT!
Don’t deny it or try to hide it behind a lavender mist!
We are being watched!!!
Forces in the invisible are looking at us!
Inspiring new powers, skills and talents!
Now a new power delivered to us will highlight unsolved tensions!
More energy and power bring more energy to the conflict as well!
A potentially explosive situation will get even more tense the moment you are given more weapons!
That’s unless you have the skills to master these conflicts and tensions.
To put it in blunter terms:
WE MUST GET OUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!
AS A TRIBE!!!
TO GAIN LIFE MASTERY, WE MUST EXPAND BOTH IN THE SHADOW AND THE LIGHT AND SET UP POWERFUL ROOTS IN ALL ASPECTS OF OUR HUMAN NATURE!
Look at frictions and master them!
How can we be examples for humankind if we are clueless when it comes to conflicting energies.
In the communities we live in, this is definitely a shadow side that is often not addressed at all!
We might spend our time focusing on love and harmony when deep tensions stay unsolved!
My invitation to you this week is to go into that shadow and face it!!!
Face your anger, your frustrations, your conflicts and own them!
Accept them, don’t deny them!
In the last 2 months, I had at least 20 conflicting or friction situations I can easily think off.
Simple examples like:
HURTING SOMEONE BY BEING TOO DIRECT
GETTING DIRECT CHALLENGING FEED BACK
BEING BOMBARDED BY PRESSURE AND DEMANDS
GETTING IRRITATED BY A FRIENDS INCESSANT COMPLAINTS
ARGUING ABOUT WHAT’S RIGHT AND WHAT’S WRONG
I keep it vague but I could describe each situation in detail.
You get the picture.
Some of these conflicts were handled with mastery on my end.
One time a simple “I am sorry” was all that was needed.
Another time the magic expression “tell me more…” saved me from entering in reacting mode.
Another time, I totally blew it!
The intention this week is to look at solutions, tools, attitudes, mind sets, tactics that allow us to navigate these frictions and win these challenges, use them, survive them, trigger them if we want to or destroy them if that’s needed!
That’s the idea!
I have dozens of FIGHT MASTERY techniques that come to mind.
I am sure you do too!
Some of them are new.
Some I have been practicing for years.
Here are some examples that come to mind:
SAFE VOCAL FIGHTS SIMULATIONS
10 WAYS TO SAY I AM SORRY
SIMPLE TACTICS TO TAKE CHALLENGING FEEDBACK GRACEFULLY
HOW TO VOICE YOUR FRUSTRATION
10 SIMPLE EMOTIONAL RELEASE TECHNIQUES
5 SIMPLE THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU’RE ANGRY WITH YOUR PARTNER
HOW TO DEAL WITH JUDGEMENT AND GOSSIP
We could set up a large scale community game!
THAT WOULD BE FUN!
If you want to play, approach someone and say “VITAL FIGHT!”
If you get a “yes” you can engage for 5 min without physical contact + stop if the other person says “pause”
If you get a “no” drop it.
You need two conscious sides to create a win-win fight.
The goal is not to destroy your opponent, the goal is to CONSCIOUSLY GENERATE ENERGY USING FRICTION!
Creating conscious FIGHT SIMULATIONS is a great way to train these FIGHTING SKILLS.
Martial art training is of course one way of doing that.
What do you think happens when you step into a capoeira challenge?
It’s a fight simulation, a game, a safe set up so that you and your opponent can express your aggressive impulses in safe, harmonious and beautiful ways!
You can do the same with verbal fights!
You create a VOCAL FIGHT GAME with a few simple rules:
YOU ASK FOR PERMISSION
YOU BOTH AGREE TO PLAY
YOU TIME IT TO 5 MIN
YOU CAN SAY “PAUSE” ANY TIME
NO PHYSICAL TOUCH
RESPECT YOUR SURROUNDINGS
DON’T BREAK ANYTHING
If you don’t know where to start, say a few “fuck you!” to warm up! 😉
Then tell your opponent why!
There is way more to VOCAL FIGHT GAMES.
Let’s explore it next time we have an opportunity to play.
That’s one of the possible games!
THAT’S MY INTENTION FOR THIS WEEK OF JOYOUS BLISS IN PARADISE!
LET’S PLAY! HIHAAAAAA!!!! JAYAAAAA!!!!!