In the last few days, a new level of awareness started emerging in me concerning the impact of our communication patterns and how we create realities and energies through what we say.

2 core questions I have since I launched VITAL GATE 5 months ago are:
  • Is gossip ok or not?
  • Confidentiality or not?
Intuitively, common sense tells me that being gossip free and respecting confidentiality are right.
And still, practically the application of these two points are challenging to implement.
Both gossiping and sharing private information are elements that can bring transparency and are simply fun.
They are shadow aspects of our social interactions and they are used in society all the time.
Talking about people who are not physically present can simply be fun and entertaining and is one of the core sharing social practices.People gossip all the time!

They do it because it’s fun and entertaining!

People talk about family, friends or lovers all the time.
Sometimes you withhold sharing someone’s private story because you know that sharing it could hurt them.
You might use gossip, judgement, criticism, disclosure of private information as subtle attacks towards others.
These are language and communication patterns that shape the way people feel towards others.
The core idea is to master criticism, judgement and gossip.
It is not necessarily to stop it!Gossiping can be another nasty form of criticism that sometimes reaches the criticized in very indirect ways.

It might sound like:

“The other day we were talking about you at this meeting and realized how stubborn you are when it comes to collaborating…”

Or with friends

“I heard this rumor about you… Is that true? Did you do that?”

How do you master that pattern especially when you are the target?

What do you do when people talk about you behind your back?

We’ll check ways of mastering this challenge.

That’s another core shadow totally prevalent in society that has the potential to destroy someone’s reputation or life!

Sometimes, you might b confronted with someone giving you the cold shoulder and you have no idea why.

You might never get an answer but if you do it might sound like:

“Well, I was chatting the other day and she said that you said this about me! I felt really upset! Is that true? Is that what you think about me?”

You might correct that idea straight away or tell them that it is actually true.

The point though is that it is challenging to control, influence or avoid what people say about you or what they share when you are not present.


 Judgement or criticism are a powerful useful weapons.
Suppressing judgement means negating this shadow rather than embracing it.
The goal is not to suppress, it is to master these tools!
It is to use them with wisely with full awareness.
It is to be conscious of their impact.Be conscious of the subtle attacks often hidden in the essence of what you say.

Mastering criticism is mastering it when you use it.It is as well mastering it when criticism is directed at you.

You might be afraid of criticism.

You might try to avoid it by pleasing others or staying away from the public eye.

Criticism can feed you with energy.

You take someone’s criticism and this the energy increases your vibration.

You feel more present, more real and more energized because of it.

Imagine what happens when you make that energetic shift.

Be happy when being criticized.

Another aspect of criticism and gossip is to start rising your vibration to live in a reality in which the people who are connected with you are in your field all the time, not just when they are physically present.

So suppose that you talk about your partner to someone.

Imagine that this partner is not physically present but they can feel everything you say.

The words you say stay in your aura, in your electromagnetic field.

If you criticize them, these words stay present in your field like aggressive arrows.

This partner feels these attacks at one point or another.

They might have this pure energetic feeling they can’t describe.

These judgments might appear as well your body language.

It doesn’t mean stopping to criticize.

You can still use that weapon if you want to.

However, if you want to master it master it be totally aware of its impact.

Instead of being dominated by impulsive emotions, you use the criticism, gossip or verbal attack exactly when you want to.

For some people, mastering criticism might mean to never it.

For others, it might mean being an active gossiper and spreading destructive rumors simply to have fun.

I am not here to tell you what’s right or wrong.

The way you use these weapons is up to you.

Criticism has many variations.Here are some examples:

  • Criticising
  • Gossiping
  • Blaming
  • Feed backing
  • Complaining
  • Judging
  • Reflecting
  • Correcting
  • Educating
  • Accusing
  • Fixing
  • Patronizing
  • Smothering
  • Offending
  • Using sarcasm
  • Lecturing
  • Mocking
  • Ridiculing
  • Cursing
  • Commenting
  • Etc
People often use the term constructive criticism or positive criticism to give it a positive spin.
Eventually, all these variations have the same energy building or expansive potential if they are embraced rather than blocked.
Shadows are aspects of human consciousness.
In their present state, they are mainly undigested disturbances creating a field of stacked traumas.
By analyzing shadows we  are imprinting them with new codes and clarifying them.
We are energetically clearing human consciousness. and designing new mind sets.
A vast portion of human thinking is dedicated to the expression of one of these patterns.
Check your inner dialogue and your conversations and you might see complaining or judgement omnipresent throughout your day.
You have various ways to express criticism:
  • Face to face
  • Gossip
  • Thought
  • Written form
  • Broadcast
  • Other communication mediums
  • Etc
Understand that even when criticism is just a thought it becomes present in tour field.Depending on how in tune you are with the target of your criticism a person, they might perceive your thinking with various levels of intensity.

Criticism can have various intentions.
For instance it might be:

  • Associated with a request to change or do something.
  • Vindictive, aimed at hurting.
  • A conscious attack.
  • A gentle feed back.
Criticism has various levels of intensity.
With all these variations, playing with this weapon in a skillful art.
You can be the criticizer or the criticized.
You can give or receive.
If you are good at receiving  criticism, you are like a ninja, playing with these attacks in masterful ways.
Criticism can be positive or negative.
It can be justified or unjustified.
It can useful or useless.
And you have all shades of possibilities between these opposite polarities.
If a criticism is useful to you, you might use it to modify your actions or attitude.
If it is unjustified you might discard the attack.
These multiple variations create a powerful martial environment in which you evolve like mind fighter.
Unjustified judgement happens for instance when you are doing your best do please someone and are accused of not caring.The judgement is unjustified.

Mocking, ridiculing and sarcasm are all using humor as a weapon.
Mockery is gathering support to laugh at a target and is one of the most painful bullying experiences kids can have.

Negative or nasty comments is one of the strongest and most used attacks these days!
Think of facebook or youtube and observe the energy battle, arguing going on some groups and people’s walls

If you use criticism against yourself it can be:



  • Self blaming
  • Self pity
  • Self judging
  • Self ridiculing
  • Negative self beliefs
  • Negative self talk
  • Being self conscious
  • Etc.
Fixing or trying to fix someone is a directive communication style that leads to lots of conflicts especially in couples and friendships.
When you try to fix someone, you correct them and assume that there is actually something wrong that needs to be fixed.
Someone might be sharing and then you try to fix them.
Even if it comes from a desire to help it is often received as criticism!
There is as well often a strong emotion urge or emotional load behind the one trying to fix someone else.
Trying to fix someone is a controlling input.
In most cases it is not just a gentle open suggestion!
It is often like a direct threat or ultimatum.
You can coach someone if they give you the permission to!
But stepping in without their permission is a violation of their basic human right for self determination.
If you know you can help someone, simply say:
“Are you open for some coaching, advice, reflection, etc?”Check in with them before offering unrequited advice.


That shadow is self judgement.

It is the projection of self criticism or fear of external criticism.


Another shadow aspect that emerged has to do with arguing or debating.

Some people will be in the debating or arguing mode all the time.

For them, it’s difficult to say ye to anything because they get a kick out of opposing any ideas or suggestions.

That’s connected with mental wrestling!

Any opportunity to have a challenging conversation will be taken because this mental challenge is their favorite way to grow, compete or generate energy.

Agreeing to anything means that the competition or mental wrestling is over and peace and harmony kick in.

A huge portion of discussions in the west will be arguing or debates.

This pattern is often expressed in couple, families or businesses.

The shadow of this pattern is that it is expressed with lack of awareness.

It will often trigger fights in situations where harmony would be a better match for everyone.

The urge to argue is the urge to use the mental realms, logic and reason as a battle ground that one wants to conquer.

Instead of physical battle it is really a mental battle going on.

The target is the conquest of the mental territory, the realm of ideas, thoughts, beliefs, etc.