Suppose that you are the victim of a shadow.

In so many cases, the challenge is not the shadow source itself, it is the fact that you expect something else.
Suppose that you are in the divorce process and your partner attacks you in court.
What hurts is not so much the attack, it is the fact that you are so unprepared and didn’t expect it.
The monent you shift gear and engage into battle and fight back, everything in the dynamic changes.
Some of the main shadow challenges is the difference between what you expect and what you actually get.
For instance you might expect a thank you and you get an insult.
That’s a conflict between these two realities. 
It is often what hurts and allows a shadow to hit you.