VITAL SHADOW – INTEGRITY GAP

Here are some variations:
  • Integrity gap
  • Incoherence
  • Unreliability

Integrity gap happens when someone doesn’t respect an agreement.

This happens typically with:

  • Financial agreements
  • Breaking an ethical guidelines
  • Not being true to your word
  • Disclosing confidential information
  • Not showing up for an appointment
  • Etc.
  •  not respecting an overall set of values
Incoherence means for instance:
  • Not respecting an overall set of values
  • Saying you will do something and do something else
  • Changing your mind all the time
  • Not respecting agreements
  • Etc
Incoherence, inconsistency or unreliability are soft versions of integrity gap and betrayal.

They don’t carry the same emotional load.

But these patterns can still have a big often negative impact when exposed to them either as a giver or receiver of these qualities.

For instance a baby sitter who is unreliable will quickly get fired when not showing up for appointments.

If you use the word “betrayal” it is heavier than what the situation truly is because betrayal carries a higher charge.

The correct term is unreliability because there is often no premeditation or real intention to hurt in the baby sitter case.