Look… I agree, sometimes people around you are toxic or simply mess up.
Sometimes their intentions will just be to hurt you.
The fact that negative energy can be projected on you is obvious.
And blaming others can be totally disempowering and put you in victim mode.
The moment you take responsibility and decide to do something about it, you radically shift dynamics and often take back control.
Sometimes, toxic situations are cocreated.
This happens typically in relationships.
The thing is that the blame game takes you nowhere.
It gives you the feeling that a given conflict or situation has nothing to do with you.
So next time you enter in blame mode, pause, take a deep breath and say something like:
- ” And here is what I am going to do about it… “
- ” Here is how I contributed to this situation… “
- ” Here is what I will do to avoid being in the same situation again in the future… “
- ” Here is how I will constructively communicate with that person so that this situation shifts… “
See what happens?
You make it evolve, shift or change.
You start looking for solutions.
You can do that only when you perceive the role you play in any shadow dynamic.
I know this post might challenge you a bit.
If this applies to you, I hope it’s ok.
If this is useful to you, apply it.
If it’s not, and you feel that it doesn’t apply to you, it’s ok, forget what I just said and move on to the