FORUM ARCHIVE

haven't dated much

haven't dated much

Postby kedmann » Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:01 pm

I'm 32, male and have never really dated before. I've had a few girlfriends, but have never really liked the whole idea of dating. Is this unusual? I guess I feel like I've missed out on some different experiences, but I also feel like I'm someone who will never be comfortable with the whole idea of dating for the sake of dating. If this is who I really am, can this be okay? My philosophy, I guess, is to just wait until I find someone I really like or really likes me, and then go ahead. Can this strategy really work in finding someone or am I kidding myself? Thanks, and I really love to come here to read what people write and the responses they receive!
kedmann
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:46 pm

Postby vitalcoach » Fri Jul 06, 2007 2:12 am

Hi Kedmann,

Cool question! I'll be gald to check this with you.

You say you had a few girlfriends...

How did you meet them?

What did you do when you saw them one on one for the first time?

vitalcoach
vitalcoach
 
Posts: 1724
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:06 pm

Postby kedmann » Sat Jul 07, 2007 12:11 pm

It just seemed easier before, especially in college. There were always lots of girls around and I just let them make the first move. Now it seems harder and not as natural before. Maybe I am thinking about it too much now or that younger girls are more forward in general--I am not sure which. My question as to why I'm having trouble now is that I'm not putting myself in the best circumstances to meet girls or that I'm just not willing to face rejection and everything else that goes along with dating? Any thoughts? Thanks Vitalcoach!
kedmann
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:46 pm

Postby vitalcoach » Sat Jul 07, 2007 1:52 pm

You're welcome!

Two things I need to tell you.

First, you need to get rid of all the preconceived ideas you have about dating.

If in your mind it's like: "I don't like it! I don't want to do it!", it's pretty sure that you'll have the hardest time learning anything.

The second point is that to be good at it, you need to develop new skills and take some risks.

Yes! Sometimes, you'll get rejected which is no problem if you have a couple of strategies to deal with it.

It takes around 3 months to develop a dating attitude which gives you good results.

Now, if you would rather sit back and wait, you can do that as well.

Not sure if you will get anywhere, though... :wink:

If you are 32 and feel like your dating life is flat lining in the 0 date/year area, it's probably the sign that whatever you are doing or not doing is not working.

Are you that attached to your comfort zone? :wink:

Or are you ready to destroy self defeating attitudes and take action?

I think you are just scared or lazy :D

Which one is it?

To your power

vitalcoach
vitalcoach
 
Posts: 1724
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:06 pm

Postby kedmann » Sat Jul 07, 2007 7:20 pm

Vitalcoach,

I hear what you're saying that I need to be more bold and go for it more. But is there some possible middle ground between all out dating and not dating? I was thinking along the lines of doing group activities to maybe get around the whole one-on-one date dynamic. Could this be a dating loophole that I've found? If not, what are simple ways to ease into the dating world? Thanks again for the feedback!
kedmann
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:46 pm

Postby vitalcoach » Sun Jul 08, 2007 4:35 am

kedmann wrote:I was thinking along the lines of doing group activities to maybe get around the whole one-on-one date dynamic. Could this be a dating loophole that I've found?


Yes! Engaging in group activities is an excellent strategy to meet new women. It's not a loophole. It is one of the key dating strategies you can apply.

The question is, once you start connecting with a woman you are attracted to, what do you do?

What happens next is called dating.

Does it mean that you can engage into dating without ever asking a woman out?

Of course you can.

There are dozens of ways to get to know each other without "officially dating".

You can call it flirting, intimate friendship or light dating for instance.

The word dating still summarizes best all these activities you engage into when you get to know a woman and are interested in sharing some form of intimacy with her.

Group activities? What did you have in mind? :wink:

vitalcoach
vitalcoach
 
Posts: 1724
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:06 pm

Postby kedmann » Sun Jul 08, 2007 8:54 pm

I'm not really sure what kind of activities I would want to participate in. I've been out of the dating scene so long now that I don't really have a clue! Could you recommend some e-books or audio tapes that would give me some tips on where to start? I would be more than happy to study them. Thank you.
kedmann
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:46 pm

Postby vitalcoach » Mon Jul 09, 2007 5:19 am

Check this link:

http://vitalcoaching.com/datingformen.htm

To your dating power!

vitalcoach
vitalcoach
 
Posts: 1724
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:06 pm


Return to Dating skills



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron