I met this guy totally by accident

I met this guy totally by accident

Postby Guest » Sun Oct 10, 2004 5:55 am

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I met this guy, totally by accident through my brother. He comes to my city a lot but lives somewhere else. We connected instantly although I tried not to pay any attention to him at all as he was sort of cocky and annoying.

After about a week I bugged my brother about this guy and it turned out he was interested in me as well. We hooked up and it was the most amazing time I've ever had with anybody. He unleashed something inside of me (I am 30) was like I've been locked in a cage that has suddenly become unlocked. We only spent a week together as he was travelling abroad for 2 months. Before he left he invited me to his city and said that he would definitely pursue me further (had he not been leaving) but to put the relationship on hold for now until he returns. He emailed and wrote postcards and even called once (leaving a msg saying that I should be flattered since I was the only person outside of his mother, father and brother whom he's called).Anyway, things were great but I was really stressed out with my life situation at home and was under a great deal of stress. So one day, in response to one of his distribution emails from his trip, I sent him a bitchy email...I was really stressed, and the timing of his email was bad, I was a bit over sensitive and I did that. I apologized for it but he wrote me an awful email back writing me off saying that I reminded him of his ex and that he would not see me when he returns. I was so upset and so heartbroken, given the stress I was already under, this was the last thing I needed.

So I sent him 6 emails in a span of 2 days, asking to call me so we could talk and I was really remorseful for what I did....I still feel horrible about it.....but it obviously pissed him off even more. When he returned, he didn't call, so I couldn't take it anymore and called him and asked if we could see each other to talk but he kept making up this busy schedule and and said maybe the next day the next day I made the terrible mistake of calling him (since according to his schedule there wasn't any time left but that day) and he just yelled and said that I freaked him out and hung up. And then I spoke to him again the day before he left (not having seen him) and he said that I did scare him off with my behaviour, that he forgave me and understood why I acted the way I did, he confirmed that what we had was "nice" but that there was nothing between us (even though he told our mutual friend that he liked me a lot which is why the whole situation upset him so much), he said that I should be careful what I say to people (and of course I learned my lesson), that he wouldn't use this to judge me in the future but that he doesn't forget things either, that he is sure he would see me again the next time he is in town and that we are "friends".

He also told our mutual friend that the whole thing happened way too quickly for him.

Anyway, we were lovers and now we are supposedly friends. I really really like this guy and I want to know if I give him a lot of time (without contact) is there any way he will remember me when he comes back to this city (he comes back often)? There was a deep connection between us, however brief, I felt it and he felt it but he is really stubborn which is probably why he refused to see me. If we saw each other while he was here, the whole problem would evaporate. But he told our mutual friend that seeing me would make things worse....why would that be??

Anyway, do you think this situation is completely hopeless? This guy is not a player and I know this for a fact. Does he need time or is he scared off permanently??

Can you offer any advice? My heart just aches...I have never been so impacted by a man before and I feel that there is so much "unfinished" business between seeing how we would feel if we continued dating instead of tearing each other up over one stupid email...


Postby vitalcoach » Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:55 pm

Hi Paula,

I know exactly how you feel.

I'll be direct, okay?

He had negative experiences in the past with the type of behavior you showed him (a bitchy email). A one time message like this one opened wounds again, reminded him of past similar experiences.

In the past, somewhere, he probably decided that this would never happen to him again. He decided to show 0% tolerance to anything from a girl which puts him down. That's his way of defending his territory.

Can you see how it works in his mind?

He is epidermically allergic to any love connection which sounds "complicate".

How to win him back? What he says sounds so firm! I can feel where he stands. I don't feel you will be able to "bend" his mind. He will stick to his spirit and stay truthful to what he decided. That's my opinion.

I know you got excited by this time and intensity you shared. You think that this experience is unique and you associated it with him. It's not the case.

I know exactly what is happening to you and I can help you further with that.

It has to do with your feminine power and the way you relate to life and to yourself. I know what he oppened in you. What you want is keep this door opened. You don't want it to shut down.

You received an "initiation" from him. I can help you understand what is behind that and what to do next with it.

Email advice is not enough though.

Check further this link to see how coaching works:

I can help you unleash the full potential of what is behind all that.

I can help you with:

Undertsanding what exactly happened with that man?
What is this "cage" he freed you from?
What you can do keep this "door" open in you
What is the profound meaning of what is happening to you now
What you can do to "stimulate" this experience again
Why he won't help you further with that
How to get back your full power and emotional freedom
And so much more...
This is a unique experience. It is powerful stuff.

Questions? feed back?



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