------- Side note ---------------
For break up or divorce, get these now! They show you how to get your power back in no time! :wink: - vitalcoach
Hi, I don't know if you are going to say I'm a loser or what but I need some advice. I dated a guy for nearly 4 years, he could never commit, messed with my head, my heart for a long time till I didnt know if i was coming or going. He called the shots, he never wanted to discuss the relationship and he never once told me he loved me. But I was completely and utterly drawn into his melodrama and could not extricate myself. he had broken up with me many times too, not knowing what he wanted etc..
in the end one night i snapped and ended it with him. He went bollistic, saying how much he loved me, what a fool he had been, i couldnt believe it. i didn't think the would even notice i had gone, this is what i had wanted to hear from him all that time. I started dating someone who treated me like a princess and i told my ex. I was unsure that he meant all the things he was saying so i was wary about going back.
when he knew this he erupted and one night he saw me out with this guy and he asked me to go outside, he didn't even give me a chance to say anything and he hit me and broke my nose. I was a mess and I totally shutdown and became a recluse, i was a terrible mess. He wanted me back so we kind of limped along and tried to fix it but then after a few months for the most riciculous reasons he dumped me, i was a broken woman. I had a breakdown and could not function. I felt that i had deserved everthing that happened to me and that i had driven him to hitting me. he said i did.
now a year on and i'm still not recovered, he has moved on and has another girfriend. he contacted me months after the breakup, and gave me hopes and played with me again only to finally end it when he had met someone new and didn't need me hanging in the wings anymore.
i feel like i have lost my lust for life, my confidence, i have no self esteem and yet he has found the strenght to rebuild his life.
i have not been able to date since he walked away as i simply cannot trust that a man will not hurt me like that again. this destroyed me and whilst i am not as bad as i was months ago, i still have no strength or self esteem
am i a loser? I have tried to forgive myself but i feel as though i was the most evil woman in the world for breaking up with him,