One big sad mess

One big sad mess

Postby dd » Tue Aug 16, 2005 9:35 am

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Hi, I don't know if you are going to say I'm a loser or what but I need some advice. I dated a guy for nearly 4 years, he could never commit, messed with my head, my heart for a long time till I didnt know if i was coming or going. He called the shots, he never wanted to discuss the relationship and he never once told me he loved me. But I was completely and utterly drawn into his melodrama and could not extricate myself. he had broken up with me many times too, not knowing what he wanted etc..

in the end one night i snapped and ended it with him. He went bollistic, saying how much he loved me, what a fool he had been, i couldnt believe it. i didn't think the would even notice i had gone, this is what i had wanted to hear from him all that time. I started dating someone who treated me like a princess and i told my ex. I was unsure that he meant all the things he was saying so i was wary about going back.

when he knew this he erupted and one night he saw me out with this guy and he asked me to go outside, he didn't even give me a chance to say anything and he hit me and broke my nose. I was a mess and I totally shutdown and became a recluse, i was a terrible mess. He wanted me back so we kind of limped along and tried to fix it but then after a few months for the most riciculous reasons he dumped me, i was a broken woman. I had a breakdown and could not function. I felt that i had deserved everthing that happened to me and that i had driven him to hitting me. he said i did.

now a year on and i'm still not recovered, he has moved on and has another girfriend. he contacted me months after the breakup, and gave me hopes and played with me again only to finally end it when he had met someone new and didn't need me hanging in the wings anymore.

i feel like i have lost my lust for life, my confidence, i have no self esteem and yet he has found the strenght to rebuild his life.

i have not been able to date since he walked away as i simply cannot trust that a man will not hurt me like that again. this destroyed me and whilst i am not as bad as i was months ago, i still have no strength or self esteem

am i a loser? I have tried to forgive myself but i feel as though i was the most evil woman in the world for breaking up with him,

any advice?

Get your confidence back

Postby vitalcoach » Wed Oct 19, 2005 9:05 am


I am really sorry to hear that story.

I know how you feel.

Now, I'll be direct and tell you what other people probably told you.

This guy is a bastard!!!!

Hitting a woman is not acceptable under any circumstance. This is called physical abuse and it is a crime!

Now, part of you is still luck warm about it.

In your words, you still condemn your attitude and justify his.

That's where you can shift it.

This guy tried to rob you from your life and dignity.

He tried to create a psychic prison for you and let you trapped in it.

Now, I won't get too excited about this because the anger and the furry to get your life back has to come from within you.

It has been a year, so I am convinced that it is now time to go beyond the healing mode.

It?s time to take action!

I can't wake up for you but I can help you take the steps.

I can be there just next to you as you walk back into your real life.

It is normal to be scared but this should not stop you.

You can take many micro steps which will become a bigger step soon.

What you faced with this guy is an exception.

95% of men are not like that.

It is a traumatic experience which tends to leave a print behind.

Now is the time to fight and defend yourself.

To recover your power you need to do something different: wake up and fight!!!

It starts right here, right now.

If live help is what you want, then follow this link and sign in for a live session:

If it's too intimidating start by a smaller step:

Get this e-book: ... aks_up.htm

It is in your hands. Good luck

Posts: 1724
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:06 pm

Postby vitalcoach » Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:57 pm

PS: forgot that one! No! you are not a looser! But it is time to wake up and fight back! yes!

Last bumped by Anonymous on Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:57 pm.
Posts: 1724
Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 6:06 pm

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