This question comes often in your dating life.
Is it better to simply follow your wild impulsion and go with it or is it better to slightly hold back?
When a man shows his interest is it better to go with what he wants or is it better to keep your mystery alive?
I’ll be direct:
When a man looses semen, he goes into an after sex emotional dip.
This means that the “sexual tension” drops. The intense desire and sexual drive has been released.
When this happens, two partners usually want space.
The same might happen to you.
This after sex effect is a well known phenomena.
The goal is simple: make sure that your newly built connection is empowered by sex rather than diminished.
You want sex to be a reinforcer of the love you already have.
After sex, you want the connection to grow stronger rather than weaker.
This will happen only if there is a high level of love and complicity between the two of you.
You want intimacy to enhance your love experience and give it a new dimension.
Your first goal is to establish complicity, flirt, love and romance with your new date.
Once your complicity is established, you can move safely to greater levels of intimacy.
Intimacy does not mean intercourse.
It means touch, exchange, kisses, smile and your two naked bodies sharing energy.
Sexual intercourse comes after.
Sure, you can jump into a wild one night stand.
However, this requires greater power and emotional autonomy.
If you want to have a direct sexual experience, you need extra power and skills to really make it work emotionally.
The risk is to go into sexual intercourse too soon.
If you have a few dates with a man before you have sex, it gives you time to build sexual tension which will multiply the pleasure you can have from this experience.
There is no given rule which works for everyone.
However, if you keep the mystery alive and don’t unveil yourself too soon, it builds up the sexual tension and increase your link with your date.
Imagine having a couple of dates and not sharing intimacy yet.
Imagine this going on for two weeks for instance.
Imagine after that, sharing intimacy with that man without sexual intercourse yet.
Kisses! Touch! Sensuality! Refinement! Pleasure!
All the ingredients are there but you still did not have sexual intercourse.
This immensely builds up sexual tension and mutual attraction.
If you do have sex after two or three months of “flirting foreplay”, I guarantee you that the moment will be magical.
Because love, complicity and freshness have been nurtured and empowered between the two of you.
You know that attraction between the two of you is now solid.
There is romance and flirt.
In other terms love is blossoming.
Taking this “intercourse step” early on in the first or second date makes you emotionally vulnerable.
Why is that?
Because there is no guarantee he’ll still be around tomorrow.
You might have sex and then stay apart.
This leaves an emotional gap behind which is bigger if you had sex than if you didn’t.
Sex is an emotional investment.
It is a love investment you give to someone.
If you give him all your pearls and he runs away with them, you end up with nothing.
This makes it tougher.
You don’t want to go there.
The goal is simple.
Share intimacy, sure!
Enjoy it, but delay the moment of intercourse until you know the sexual tension is strong enough.
Sexual intercourse usually calls for some form of exclusivity.
It is very rare for a woman to have sex with a man without feeling a sense of commitment to that person (unless it is clearly a one night stand).
As long as you stay on the flirting ground, there is still no commitment.
There is a dimension of innocence and freedom in it.
Sexual intercourse shifts this dynamic.
It makes it “serious”.
Nature created it like that.
Put it this way: sex could be the moment your decide to procreate together. (Create something together).
This means some form of partnering.
Of course the modern idea of sex is not so much focused on procreation.
The first goal is pleasure, expression of desire and sharing of energies.
However, nature still invests a couple who has sex with a very special touch.
It is like a marriage and definitely shifts the dynamics between two lovers.
My advice is simple: if you want to stay emotionally independent, don’t rush into sex too fast.
The ideal timing would be to flirt and be intimate over a period of one to three months.
If the attraction keeps on growing and you feel a sense of mutual commitment, then take it to the next level and do enjoy it!
No shame! No Guilt!
Choose the right moment.
Create the right space to enhance this experience and make it a wonderful exchange.