I did already record a video on this topic some time ago. Here it is:
Now, because I had this question sent to me again, I realize that I need now to go deeper so that you really understand what goes on in his mind.
The key question is:
“why does he ask for my number if he has no intention of following through?”
Well he does have the desire to follow through when he asks you for your number.
What really happens is that once he has your number and wakes up the following day, he realizes he does not want to follow up or wants to follow up but not straight away
There can be various reasons for that:
- Sudden interest loss
- He feels it will be too complicate
- He now “disqualifies” you in his mind for a reason or another.
- He has other priorities
A guys will often ask you for your number simply to have that option.
Getting a girl’s number is like a traget to conquer.
Every time a guys gets a girl’s number, he feels like it’s a small (or big) victory by itself.
Yes! He will sometimes act in the dating scene as a predator and the action of conquering and seducing is thrilling by itself.
Once the target has been reached, it is part of the thrill which is gone.
He will then “hunt” for more numbers rather than following up with the ones he has.
Why? Because what is more challenging and “harder” to conquer gives him a stronger kick.
Have you ever been to the gym?
If you do some power building, go on the tread mill or the cross trainer, what is the target you select?
Is it the one that requires little effort and does not challenge you?
Or do you go for a target you feel more challenged by?
If you know the outcome and you know it is too easy for you, you might lose interest, right?
Guys like adrenaline rush.
They sometimes find it super challenging to ask for a girl’s number but confront themselves with this challenge because it gives them and energy kick to do so.
Why do people go and watch thrillers?
Because of the emotional kick or energy boost, right?
Well, guys and their dating challenges often function in the same way.
Once the main challenge is mastered (getting your number) the rest can feel much easier and almost downhill for many guys.
Now, I am of course not saying that this is the case in real life.
Having a successfull and exciting date with someone can be as challenging as getting a girl’s number for a guy.
But yes! If you ask guys:
“What is the most challenging step in dating?”
My guess is that most men will say:
“Approach a girl, have a nice conversation and get her number”
This means that they are in the “approach” stage of their courting behavior.
When you have a girl’s number, you already move into the “comfort” area.
There is a higher potential for multiple dates with the same person, relationship and so on.
So, many guys will choose to stay in this “approach” zone because they find it more exciting than meeting the same girl multiple times.
It has to do with mystery as well.
Once they get your number, it is part of the mystery which is unveiled and they might lose interest.
By the way, this works same way for both men and women.
So you got it now, right?
For many men the thrill and excitement is higher before they get your number than after.
Does it mean that you must not give them your number if you want them to stay interested?
We’ll check that one in a coming post!
There are a few strategies you can apply that keeps guys interested and thrilled to see you even after they have your number…