Every test here runs two directions. It’s not just what they do — it’s what you do too.
1. A Litmus Test Isn’t A Vibe Check
It’s not a feeling. It’s a specific moment that reveals the truth underneath the surface — in both people.
One clear moment tells you more than a hundred good days ever could, about them and about you.
2. The Bad Day Test
How does either of you treat the other on your worst day?
Anyone can be kind when everything’s easy. The test is what’s left when it isn’t — for both of you.
3. The Money Test
Can the two of you discuss finances without it turning into a power struggle?
Sounds like: “Let’s actually look at this together” — regardless of who brought it up.
4. The Apology Test
When either of you messes up, does the apology own the impact, or explain it away?
A real apology looks the same no matter who’s giving it.
5. The Sick Day Test
Whoever is wiped out, contributing nothing for a few days — does the other show up anyway?
Warmth that only exists when someone’s useful isn’t warmth. It’s a transaction.
6. The Correction Test
When either of you gets something wrong and the other points it out, what happens?
Defensive, or willing to hear it — the answer should look the same whichever side you’re on.
7. The Absence Test
What either of you does when nobody’s watching is who you actually are.
Are you both the same people alone as you are in front of each other?
8. The Boredom Test
Strip away the excitement, the trips, the plans.
Can the two of you sit in a quiet, uneventful Tuesday together and still feel okay — not just tolerated, but okay?
9. The Disagreement Test
Can either of you be wrong without it becoming a character attack?
Sounds like: “Okay, I see your point” — said without resentment trailing behind it, from whichever side loses the argument.
10. The Growth Test
You both change. Neither of you is who you were a year ago.
Does the relationship bend for both of you, or does it quietly ask one person to stay the same while the other keeps growing?
If running these tests honestly was harder than expected, that’s worth sitting with. Reach out for coaching and let’s go through it together.
