Nobody voted on these rules. You just started following them anyway.
1. Always Say You’re Fine
Someone asks how you’re doing. You say fine, even when you’re not.
Honesty got traded for politeness, and nobody even noticed the swap.
2. Small Talk Before Real Talk
Weather. Traffic. Weekend plans. Ten minutes pass before anyone says anything true.
Sounds like: “How about this weather?” — while the actual conversation waits in line.
3. Never Talk About Money
Salaries, debt, savings — all off limits, even with people you trust.
- Stay Vague — “I do alright.”
- Change The Subject — “Anyway, how’s your family?”
Silence around money keeps everyone guessing and nobody informed.
4. Wait Your Turn To Speak
Raise your hand. Don’t interrupt. Speak only when it’s your turn.
This trains people to rehearse their next sentence instead of actually listening.
5. Don’t Question Authority
The teacher, the boss, the expert — you nod along even when something feels off.
Sounds like: “I’m sure they know what they’re doing.” Even when the evidence says otherwise.
6. Stay Busy To Look Successful
A packed calendar reads as importance. Empty time reads as failure.
Being busy became the costume people wear instead of being fulfilled.
7. Apologize For Taking Up Space
- Speaking Up — “Sorry, can I just say something quick?”
- Asking For Help — “Sorry to bother you, but…”
You didn’t do anything wrong. You just existed out loud.
8. Match Everyone Else’s Energy
The room is low energy, so you go low too. The room is fake-excited, so you fake it too.
Your actual mood becomes whatever the group needs it to be.
9. Don’t Cry In Public
Tears get hidden, held back, apologized for.
Sounds like: “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying.” As if a real emotion needs an excuse.
10. Follow The Timeline
School, then job, then marriage, then kids, in that exact order, by a certain age.
One life plan, worn by everyone, fitting almost no one perfectly.
None of these rules were ever laws. They were just repeated long enough to feel like one. You’re allowed to check which ones are actually yours.
