55 SHADOW ATTACKS SHE MIGHT PROJECT ON YOU

1. ANGER
2. ATTACKING
3. BEING BITCHY
4. CONFUSING
5. MISREPRESENTING
6. BLAMING
7. COMPLAINING
8. CRITICIZING
9. RESENTING
10. DEPRIVING
11. BEING UNGRATEFUL
12. IGNORING YOU
13. CUTTING YOU OFF
14. EXCLUDING
15. EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY
16. BEING TRIGGERED
17. SABOTAGING
18. MISLEADING
19. LYING
20. SARCASM
21. BETRAYING
22. CHEATING
23. MANIPULATING
24. ARGUING
25. DISTORTING
26. DENYING
27. STORY PROJECTING
28. EMOTIONAL THREAT
29. GOSSIPING
30. SELF ENTITLEMENT
31. SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS
32. PRIVACY INVASION
33. HARASSING
34. EMOTIONAL HARASSMENT
35. SURPRISE ATTACKS
36. EMOTIONAL SHIFTS
37. EMOTIONAL INTENSITY
38. DRAMA
39. NARCISSISM
40. RESTRAINING
41. DOMESTICATING
42. CONTROLLING
43. MICROMANAGING

SOFT SHADOWS – INTERNALIZED SHADOWS

1. VICTIMIZATION
2. SELF PITY
3. INSECURITY
4. NEEDINESS
5. SADNESS
6. CONFUSION
7. DEPRESSION
8. BEING OFF
9. DRAMATIZING
10. GENERALIZING
11. JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS
12. AVOIDANCE

You notice that I separated these shadows in two categories because some can be attacks while others can be internalized.

The impact on how you feel is totally different.

A typical internalized shadow is “Sadness”.

A typical externalized shadow is “Anger”

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

Which of these shadows does your current partner express?

What are her 3 core shadows?

What about previous relationships? What shadows do you see?

How doe the expressions of these shadows impact on you?

How do these shadows impact on your couple?

What is your best response to these shadow attacks? Analyze them one by one

Are her shadows internalized or externalized?

Do you recognize in her other shadows that are not in this list?

What are your 3 core shadows?

How do you intend to shift or integrate these behaviors?