When you are exposed to her shadows, the intention is often to try and suppres, educate, shift, limit these expressions.
A lot of what I discovered over the last few years is that I tend to do now the exact opposite when exposed to female shadows.
I open space, encourage, respect, honor all aspects of her being.
That doesn’t mean that I accept everything!
I sometimes remove myself from situations that might be toxic to me.
But the difference now is that I refrain from telling her what to do or how to behave.
I accept, stay present, disconnect or engage but almost never from a place of wanting to change her.
There is no force or control.
I rather focus on optimizing my emotional response to any shadow outbreak.
So, what’s the fundamental difference in my response?
I focus on my emotions and reactions way more!
I focus on myself and optimize my response rather than trying to control or educate her.
Basically I take responsibility for how I am receiving her shadows.
I step out of victimization and instead focus way more on my dignified, present and powerful responses.
If I experience discomfort I might stay or I might leave.
I still offer feedback or reflections in the form of:
“When you do this, here is what my system is enclined to do…”
This is a subtle game!
It is an art form!
It’s not jut one response or emotional posture that I practice all the time.
Sometimes, my reaction will be a shadow emotion that I own as much as possible!
I’m not always trying to be virtous or contain whatever emerges in me!
Sometimes I’m pissed and I might let her know by ignoring her or shouting back if she’s screaming!
I use my weapons and I let her use hers!
What does this bring to a relationship or lover’s connection?
Truth! Authenticity! Emotional range!
It unleashes energy!
It awakes emotional resources that would otherwise be suppressed!
Shadows are energy!
More on this coming soon!