When you are exposed to her shadows, the intention is often to try and suppres, educate, shift, limit these expressions.

A lot of what I discovered over the last few years is that I tend to do now the exact opposite when exposed to female shadows.

I open space, encourage, respect, honor all aspects of her being.

That doesn’t mean that I accept everything!

I sometimes remove myself from situations that might be toxic to me.

But the difference now is that I refrain from telling her what to do or how to behave.

I accept, stay present, disconnect or engage but almost never from a place of wanting to change her.

There is no force or control.

I rather focus on optimizing my emotional response to any shadow outbreak.

So, what’s the fundamental difference in my response?

I focus on my emotions and reactions way more!

I focus on myself and optimize my response rather than trying to control or educate her.

Basically I take responsibility for how I am receiving her shadows.

I step out of victimization and instead focus way more on my dignified, present and powerful responses.

If I experience discomfort I might stay or I might leave.

I still offer feedback or reflections in the form of:

“When you do this, here is what my system is enclined to do…”

This is a subtle game!

It is an art form!

It’s not jut one response or emotional posture that I practice all the time.

Sometimes, my reaction will be a shadow emotion that I own as much as possible!

I’m not always trying to be virtous or contain whatever emerges in me!

Sometimes I’m pissed and I might let her know by ignoring her or shouting back if she’s screaming!

I use my weapons and I let her use hers!

What does this bring to a relationship or lover’s connection?

Truth! Authenticity! Emotional range!

It unleashes energy!

It awakes emotional resources that would otherwise be suppressed!

Shadows are energy!

More on this coming soon!

Love you!