Certainly! Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a method that fosters empathy, understanding, and connection between people. Here are 20 core principles with examples:
- Empathetic Listening:
- Person A: “I’m feeling overwhelmed at work.”
- Person B: “It sounds like you need some support and understanding.”
- Expressing Feelings:
- Person A: “I feel hurt when you ignore me.”
- Person B: “I’m sorry. I feel frustrated, but I didn’t mean to ignore you.”
- Expressing Needs:
- Person A: “I need some time alone to think.”
- Person B: “I understand, and I need some clarity about what’s going on.”
- Making Clear Requests:
- Person A: “Could you please help me with this task?”
- Person B: “Sure, I can assist you right now.”
- Observing Without Evaluating:
- Person A: “You left the door open.”
- Person B: “Yes, I did. I was bringing in groceries.”
- Taking Responsibility for Feelings:
- Person A: “I feel angry because I value respect.”
- Person B: “I understand your anger and your need for respect.”
- Avoiding Blame and Judgment:
- Person A: “I see that you’re late, can you tell me what happened?”
- Person B: “I got stuck in traffic, I’m sorry for being late.”
- Focusing on Positive Action Language:
- Person A: “Let’s find a way to solve this together.”
- Person B: “Yes, let’s work on this constructively.”
- Gratitude and Appreciation:
- Person A: “Thank you for helping me.”
- Person B: “You’re welcome, I’m glad I could assist.”
- Developing Compassion:
- Person A: “I’m sorry you’re feeling down. How can I support you?”
- Person B: “Thank you for caring, just being here helps.”
- Equality and Partnership:
- Person A: “Let’s make this decision together.”
- Person B: “Yes, I value our partnership and collaboration.”
- Being Present in the Moment:
- Person A: “Let’s focus on what’s happening now.”
- Person B: “I agree, let’s be present with each other.”
- Speaking Honestly Without Criticism:
- Person A: “I felt uncomfortable with what you said, can we talk about it?”
- Person B: “Sure, I’m open to understanding your perspective.”
- Recognizing Common Humanity:
- Person A: “We all make mistakes, let’s learn from this.”
- Person B: “I agree, let’s move forward together.”
- Willingness to Apologize and Forgive:
- Person A: “I’m sorry for my behavior.”
- Person B: “I forgive you, let’s grow from this experience.”
- Avoiding “Should” and “Shouldn’t” Statements:
- Person A: “I’d like to explore different ways of doing this.”
- Person B: “I’m open to exploring alternatives with you.”
- Separating Opinions from Facts:
- Person A: “The report shows a decline in sales, what are your thoughts?”
- Person B: “I think we should investigate the reasons.”
- Honoring Each Other’s Choices:
- Person A: “I respect your decision even though I don’t agree.”
- Person B: “Thank you for honoring my choice.”
- Creating Emotional Safety:
- Person A: “I want this to be a safe space for both of us.”
- Person B: “Me too, I appreciate that intention.”
- Commitment to Growth and Learning:
- Person A: “I want to keep improving our communication.”
- Person B: “I’m committed to that as well, let’s keep learning together.”
These principles aim to promote compassion, understanding, and effective communication, thereby fostering healthier relationships.
