By Francisco Bujan — vitalcoaching.com
Table of Contents
Part 3 — Fighting Skills
You can’t totally avoid fights.
What you can do though is shift the way you stand in them.
If you feel overpowered by your partner’s bossy attitude and you want a way out of this without breaking up, these strategies will give you new tools to empower yourself.
The goal is never to destroy your opponent! ☺ The goal is simply to make sure that you have enough resources to protect your personal and mind space.
In the next few pages, I’ll give you essential strategies to develop new fighting skills.
Get Extra Power and Enjoy the Fight
You might have heard this before: Fights are usually healthy for a relationship. When you fight you express what you want. You constructively generate energy and fire and it is a chance to expand the territory of your relationship. So, why can fights hurt you and your partner? Fights hurt you because you resist the energy behind them. You try to suppress the fire which wants to come through.
Fights are good!!! They are the result of positive constructive forces in your life! You might believe that because you fight with your partner, there is something wrong with you. There isn’t! In most situations, fights are perfectly fine and healthy. Fights come from a positive desire to express yourself and your desires. They come from a desire to secure your relationship. Fights are psychic battles. They are a battle for power. They are a “relationship environment” you want to master.
They can burn you because they bring in extremely powerful energies. They can burn you because there is an inner conflict happening in you: Something in you believes that fights are wrong. Something in you wants to suppress them or delete them, while another aspect of your instincts simply wakes them up as a conquering mechanism. Imagine yourself trying to tame a wild mare. That’s exactly what happens when your fighting power wakes up in you. It is an emotional instinctual response which burns you because it wants to break free and find its natural expression. Fights are part of life. They are part of relationships.
You can’t run away from them. What you can do is develop new skills to stand in them in a different way. You know how it feels to win, right? It is thrilling and exciting to break through. Guys can be overpowering. Right now, you want to wake up your fighting power and give yourself a true kick to shift this dynamic. You have psychic power. You have determination.
You have power in you that you are not using. Fighting power is a mind set. You realize that you don’t have to make yourself smaller than you are. In situations of abuse or disrespect, you want to get you message through, right? You want that man to get it and shift his behavior. Your desire is healthy. To win fights emotionally, you need extra power and effective strategies. A strategy is a mind set. His will power has been piercing your mind and you want this to stop. You want your will to be stronger and gain power and independence. This is a freeing move. How to make sure he gets it? Here are some key fighting strategies:
Love Fights
! Fights are healthy! They are an expression of your will power. Say what you want. Enjoy the challenges.
Don’t step back or be afraid.
Use Your Psychic Power
. A fight is an emotional battle. Your psychic power is your ability to channel your desires, wants, ambitions. These are powerful channels. Wake them up and use them. 100% instinctual!
- Scream and yell if you have to. Don’t be afraid of what is behind your temper. Your voice is a powerful tool. Express what you want! Let it out!
- Be firm and direct. Repeat your message until he gets it! No need to go in circles. Identify what you want say it.
- You are a winner! Not a victim! Don’t let anyone or anything put you down. Identify your target and hit it! You want respect and you will get it!!!
- It’s in your instincts! This is the top secret. This is where your energy lies. Nature gave you these fighting powers. They are in you. You know all the right moves!
- Express, don’t suppress! Move forward. Destroy resistance.
I know these are radical ideas and to tell you the truth, I love them.
Extra power is what you need right now.
Go and get it! A relationship is not an occasion to die and hide your desires.
It is your right to get what you want. Dare to stand for what you believe is true for you.
If you feel oppressed, attacked or challenged, defend yourself!
How to Win Fights
You win by using your determination. You focus on what you want and build up energy.
Use your full power to break through. This is what fighting is about.
You win, the moment you go with the flow.
Fighting energy is in you. Open your channels to it. Open at 300% and make yourself conductive to it. This is how you win. This is how you break through.
Delete the suppressing forces which want to make you smaller than you are. You destroy resistance. You build up energy and concentrate all your power and desire.
Emotional fuel is what you want. Wants are your desires. This is what fuels your battle and wakes up new emotional resources in you.
Be totally in touch with your instincts.
Anger and Aggressiveness Are Okay
Anger and aggressiveness are okay as along as you are not overpowered by them.
These forces were given to you.
Imagine a wild mare trying to break free. She is the symbol for these instinctual forces.
Anger and aggressiveness play a freeing role in your life. they are instinctual powers and it is okay to use them when you want to free yourself.
Use them when you feel constricted, cornered or when you when you want get your message through.
When energies are competing, anger and aggressiveness give you the final victory. Master these forces!
Give Rhythm
Rhythm and speed are two more fighting skills. Change rhythm to surprise your enemy. Shift gears when he does not expect it.
Go from fast to slow.
Shift the tone of your voice. Shift the volume as well. Shifts in rhythm are what gets your message through.
Know exactly the right moment to push further or to disinvest.
You want to use your energy in the most effective way.
Shift rhythm to break through.
These are natural fighting skills. The goal is simple: You want to win, right?
Rhythm makes your power much more effective. It concentrates your will in one single point in time and space. This is why it works and is super powerful.
A Natural Need
Fighting comes from a natural need to express yourself.
It is a way of communicating and exchanging life force.
Fighting is the core of conflicting energies. It is what happens when tow energies clash with each other.
Your will is powerful. Your will is what supports your fighting power.
You fight because you want to express your will. You fight because you want to expand, protect, preserve, conquer or get what you want.
It is your basic human right to express your fighting power. The goal is clear: express your rights.
Respect Your Body
In other words, don’t get hurt! Your body is your greatest asset.
Protect it!
With fighting, there is a line you must not cross. This is the line of the physical body. You want neither you, nor your partner to get hurt.
Respect this limit! It is your number one priority when fighting!
Love fights Love fights!
Fights are healthy!
They are an expression of your will power.
Say what you want.
Enjoy the challenges.
Don’t step back or be afraid.
Fights are about energy.
The moment you fight you express your life force and will power.
This is immensely energizing.
This is the fighting trance.
You wake up your wild side.
Fights are energizing.
Wake up your fighting skills and destroy resistance!
Use your psychic power Use your psychic power.
A fight is an emotional battle. Your psychic power is your ability to channel your desires, wants, ambitions. These are powerful channels. Wake them up and use them. 100% instinctual!
Your psychic is your emotional power. Project your desires forward.
Focus, use fire and fight with your invisible tools.
Fighting Weapons
When you fight, you express one of your most basic instincts. Fights in relationships are about power Love is in the background of course, but the reason a fight happens is because there is a conflict of interests. You have a plan. Your partner has another one. These two plans clash. I bet that what you want right now is extra power. I have no idea of what you situation is. However, this book has one aim: give you an extra power kick to help you get what you want. The first thing you need is extra power. Your life can feel crushed. These endless fights are your way of defending your territory. This is what you go for, right? You don’t want anyone to put you down. If your life is under attack, you have only one solution: wake up your fighting power and defend yourself. You have basic human rights and your goal is to defend these rights. These fights are an occasion to grow. Here is what you can do:
- Enjoy the fighting! I know how this can sound to your ears: weird! It’s not. Fights are healthy. They are energizing. There is nothing wrong with it. Shift the way you stand in them. Be fearless
- Strategies! A strategy is a battle plan. Every situation is unique. Think about your plan. Have a vision. Experiment with it. Ask for advice. Don’t go to battle without a strategy.
- Wake up your power! Power is a substance. It is energy. You have a vast resource of it in you but sometimes, you don’t dare to use it. Dare! It is your right. •
Defend what is yours! Career, personal space, time frame, ideas, emotions, social circle. All these are yours. It is your right to have control over them and decide for yourself. No one has the right to tell you what to do.
- Be firm and direct! Simple, don’t bend! It takes sometimes repetition for a guy to get your message. Educate your partner. Make him respect your needs and desires.
- It’s between you and him! Others, friends, in laws have nothing to say about it. This is a one on one thing. Relate to him! This is your story and no one else. If others want to get involved on his side, kick them out. This is between you and him.
- Use all your weapons! Fighting is a skill you can learn. You can kick, use strong language, use anger, determination. In other words, use all your power. Dare. Don’t be afraid. It is your right to do what it takes. Be sure your break through and get where you want to be.
I know these are radical ideas and to tell you the truth, I love them.
Extra power is what you need right now. Go and get it. A relationship is not an occasion to die and hide your desires.
It is your right to get what you want. Dare to stand for what you believe is true to you.
If you feel oppressed, attacked or challenged, defend yourself!
Play the Fighting Game
Fighting can be fun!
It might even be healthy for your couple How do you play the fighting game?
You fight with humor.
You fight with teasing.
You own your fighting skills.
When you do this as a game, you are in charge of your emotions, not dominated by them.
Instead of being a slave of irritations you don’t control, you are their master.
You can have “teasing sessions” together.
You can go in the kick boxing mood and actually get physical (no serious punching though!).
You can insult each other.
Playing the fighting game is a key strategy to deal with fights.
You get the emotional relief of expressing your fire in a safe set up.
Challenging each other can be energizing and empowering.
You need a fighting ground though.
You need a common agreement that it’s okay to go that way.
You can go to your partner and say something like: “I really feel like challenging you today! Is this okay? Is this the right time?” When you play this fighting game, there is little negative emotional load! You see it as a game! It is a way of generating energy.
You interact in a dynamic way and wake up fire.
This can as well be an excellent foreplay for sex.
