20 SPECIFIC “I STATEMENTS” AND “YOU STATEMENTS” EXAMPLES


Certainly, I’ll provide 20 examples of social situations where two men are having a conversation. In each example, I’ll first give a “you statement” and then rephrase it as an “I statement” to illustrate the positive impact of using “I statements.”

  1. At Work:
  • You Statement: “You never listen to my ideas.”
  • I Statement: “I feel unheard when my ideas aren’t considered.”
  1. During a Sports Game:
  • You Statement: “You always hog the ball.”
  • I Statement: “I feel frustrated when I don’t get a chance to handle the ball.”
  1. While Driving:
  • You Statement: “You’re driving too fast.”
  • I Statement: “I feel anxious when the car goes this fast.”
  1. Discussing Politics:
  • You Statement: “You just don’t understand the issues.”
  • I Statement: “I feel concerned that we’re not on the same page about the issues.”
  1. During a Movie:
  • You Statement: “You always pick the worst movies.”
  • I Statement: “I feel like we have different tastes in movies.”
  1. At a Restaurant:
  • You Statement: “You always want to go to the same place.”
  • I Statement: “I’d like to try something new for a change.”
  1. Planning a Trip:
  • You Statement: “You never help with the planning.”
  • I Statement: “I feel overwhelmed doing the planning by myself.”
  1. At the Gym:
  • You Statement: “You’re not doing that exercise correctly.”
  • I Statement: “I learned a different technique that might be helpful.”
  1. Discussing Finances:
  • You Statement: “You spend too much money.”
  • I Statement: “I am concerned about our budget.”
  1. During a DIY Project:
    • You Statement: “You’re doing it all wrong.”
    • I Statement: “I have some ideas on how we might do this differently.”
  2. Watching Sports:
    • You Statement: “You always root for the losing team.”
    • I Statement: “I notice we have different teams we support.”
  3. While Cooking:
    • You Statement: “You never clean up after yourself.”
    • I Statement: “I feel frustrated when the kitchen is left messy.”
  4. Discussing Children’s Education:
    • You Statement: “You don’t take our children’s education seriously.”
    • I Statement: “I am really concerned about our children’s education.”
  5. At a Family Gathering:
    • You Statement: “You always start arguments with family.”
    • I Statement: “I feel uneasy when there are arguments at family gatherings.”
  6. Debating Personal Preferences:
    • You Statement: “You have bad taste in music.”
    • I Statement: “I realize our musical preferences are quite different.”
  7. On a Road Trip:
    • You Statement: “You always pick the worst routes.”
    • I Statement: “I feel like there might be more scenic routes we could try.”
  8. Discussing Home Decor:
    • You Statement: “You have no sense of style.”
    • I Statement: “I feel like our styles don’t always align.”
  9. While Shopping:
    • You Statement: “You spend too long making decisions.”
    • I Statement: “I feel impatient when shopping takes a long time.”
  10. Discussing Work-Life Balance:
    • You Statement: “You work too much.”
    • I Statement: “I am concerned about how much time we spend working.”
  11. During a Night Out:
    • You Statement: “You always choose the most boring places.”
    • I Statement: “I’m interested in exploring different places next time we go out.”

These examples illustrate how rephrasing statements from a “you” focus to an “I” focus can change the tone of the conversation, making it more about expressing personal feelings and less about casting blame or judgment.


About the author

Shiva Rajaya

Tantrika / Life coach / Activator of new evolutionary codes for the planet and humankind


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