WARNING!
This post contains a lot of sensitive examples!
I started listing these a few months back and I quickly woke up to the realization of how diverse and subtle female shadows can be.
Some isolated examples are from personal experience, some from social circle and clients.
Some more examples are the fruit of my fertile imagination, or witnessing scenes in movies or pop culture.
If you are a woman, don’t take any of these personally!
You are beautiful WITH your shadows!
The reason I expose these examples is to give men the tools to better relate to you so that connection deepens, matures and evolves!
Of course, the list can be expanded and refined indefinitely.
I totally encourage you to experiment with it and make a list of the triggers you are exposed to.
These are dozens of behaviors, attitudes and things a woman might say that can trigger men.
I am aware that many of these repeat a few times in the list…
That’s just the way they emerged and I don’t feel like editing them too much to keep the raw, spontaneous aspect of it.
Sorry about the all caps!
I started writing this list that way and it sticked. It would take me too long right now to rewrite it in normal caps.
Some of these are not female shadows, simply behaviors that can trigger men!
And most of these shadows are not gender specific and can be expressed by both women and men.
The reason I talk about female shadows is because this article is geared towards men and right now, in my direct circle, they are the ones who seem to struggle the most with these behaviors.
Here are some simple examples of female shadow expressions you might be exposed to as a man.
By mastering her shadows, I don’t mean that you master her, I mean that you master the way you relate or position yourself towards her shadows.
Her we go… Ready?
What to do when she…
- CRITICIZES YOU
- CHALLENGES YOU
- MICROMANAGES YOU
- IS AGGRESSIVE WITH YOU
- IS DEMANDING
- IS NEEDY
- CONFUSES YOU
- MISLEADS YOU
- ABUSES YOU
- PLAYS WITH YOU
- REJECTS YOU
- HARRASSES YOU
- IS MOODY
- DOESN’T TRUST YOU
- CHEATS ON YOU
- BETRAYS YOU
- DISCONNECTS FROM YOU
- DOES SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE
- TRIES TO ARGUE
- WANTS YOU TO DO THINGS
- IS SEXUALLY PUSHY
- GETS UPSET
- GETS SAD OR DEPRESSED
- LOSES FAITH IN HERSELF
- FEELS LOST
- PROJECTS STORIES ON YOU
- IMAGINES THINGS
- IS DELUSIONAL
- IS INSECURE
- TRIES TO EDUCATE YOU, COACH YOU OR FORCE DIRECTIVE ADVICE ON YOU
- COMMUNICATES WITH LOTS OF EMOTIONAL CHARGE
- IS ANGRY WITH YOU
- PLAYS GAMES WITH YOU
- DOESN’T REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES
- SAYS NO TO YOU
- IS INCOHERENT
- IS INCONSISTENT
- LOSES HERSELF IN A LONG STORY TELLING
- GETS JEALOUS
- IS IN RIVALRY WITH YOU
- GOSSIPS ABOUT YOU
- TRIES TO DESTROY YOUR REPUTATION
- THROWS CHARACTER ATTACKS ON YOU
- ACCUSES YOU OF NOT GETTING HER HINTS
- TELLS YOU TO DO ONE THING AND THEN ACCUSES YOU OF NOT HAVING DONE THE OPPOSITE
- GIVES YOU DIRECTIONS VERBALLY AND THEN ACCUSES YOU OF NOT LISTENING TO HER ENERGY HINTS THAT SHOULD DIRECT YOU IN OPPOSITE DIRECTION
- PROJECTS HER PAST RELATIONSHIPS STORIES ON YOU
- DOESN’T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT YOU
- REACTS WHEN YOU POST SOME PICTURES ON FACEBOOK
- BELIEVES HER FRIEND’S LIES ABOUT YOU
- MAKES MISTAKES WITH HER MONEY
- DOESN’T FOLLOW UP WITH PROFESSIONAL GOALS
- ACCUSES YOU
- BLAMES YOU
- THREATENS YOU
- EMOTIONALLY WITHDRAWS FROM YOU
- BRINGS UP PROCESSING DURING ROMANTIC TIME
- THROWS EMOTIONAL STUFF AT YOU
- BLAMES YOU FOR YOUR PAST
- SAYS YOU ARE NOT THERE FOR HER
- SAYS YOU ARE SEXUALLY INCOMPATIBLE
- BREAKS UP WITH YOU
- SAYS SHE WANTS SPACE
- SAYS SHE WANTS TO BREAK UP
- CHANGES HER MIND ALL THE TIME
- IS UNSUPPORTIVE
- IS DISTRACTED BY HER CELL PHONE
- PLAYS GAMES TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS
- IS LATE
- PREFERS SPENDING TIME WITH HER GIRLFRIENDS
- HAS MORE EMOTIONAL INTIMACY WITH ANOTHER MAN THAN WITH YOU
- WANTS TO BE FREE
- WANTS AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP
- IS NASTY WITH YOU
- IS AGGRESSIVE WITH YOU
- IS AGGRESSIVE WITH SOMEONE YOU CARE FOR
- IS MANIPULATIVE
- DOESN’T VALUE YOU
- SAYS SOMETHING BUT DOES THE EXACT OPPOSITE
- GIVES YOU MIXED SIGNALS
- EXPRESSES HER INSECURITIES
- DOESN’T TAKE CARE OF HER BODY
- LACKS SELF LOVE
- WANTS TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH OTHER MEN
- FORCES HER AGENDA ON YOU
- TRIES TO DOMESTICATE YOU
- BLAMES YOU FOR EVERYTHING
- CHEATS AND TELLS YOU IT’S YOUR FAULT
- EMOTIONALLY HARASSES YOU
- GETS OFFENDED
- GETS TRIGGERED
- PUNISHES YOU FOR DOING WHAT SHE SAID SHE WANTED
- USES EMOTIONAL THREAT TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS
- ACCUSES YOU OF TAKING SOMETHING PERSONALLY
- DOESN’T LISTEN TO THE ESSENCE OF WHAT YOU SHARED BUT CRITICIZES THE FORM
- DEPRIVES YOU FROM SEX
- EMOTIONALLY DISCONNECTS FROM YOU
- SHUTS DOWN EMOTIONALLY
- DEPRIVES YOU FROM SEX TO PUNISH YOU
- TRIES TO EDUCATE YOU
- SHARES CHALLENGING EMOTIONS
- SAYS SHE’S NOT AVAILABLE FOR INTERCOURSE
- GIVES YOU CONFLICTING MESSAGES CONCERNING HER SEXUAL DESIRES
- EXPECTS YOU TO BE A FINANCIAL PROVIDER
- SEXUALLY WITHDRAWS IF YOU DON’T MATERIALLY PROVIDE FOR HER
- ACCUSES YOU OF THINKING TOO MUCH
- CAN’T STAND YOU GOING IN PROCESSING MODE
- GOES INTO HER OWN PROCESSES AND EXPECTS YOU TO BE PRESENT AND LISTEN BUT DOESN’T GIVE YOU SPACE TO DO THAT YOURSELF
- PROVOKES YOU
- IGNORES YOU
- PLAYS GUERILLA TACTICS ON YOU
- ACCUSES YOU OF DISCONNECTING
- WANTS TO STAY FREE AND ACCUSES YOU OF NOT COMMITTING TO HER
- GIVES MORE LOVE TO HER PETS THAN TO YOU
- PUTS HER CHILDREN FIRST
- EXPRESSES NO TENDERNESS
- DOMESTICATES YOU
- IGNORES YOU
- IS SELFISH
- IS TOTALLY OBSESSED BY HERSELF RATHER THAN GIVING CARE AND LOVE TO YOUR COUPLE
- DEPRIVES YOU FROM ANY LOVE, ATTENTION OR CONSIDERATION
- STAYS IN THE SAD ZONE
- PROJECTS HER PREMENSTRUAL MOODS ON YOU
- GOES INTO RADICAL MOOD SWINGS
- PROJECTS UNJUSTIFIED ANGER ON YOU
- SAYS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HER
- GOES THROUGH EXTREME MOOD SWINGS
- IS SEXUALLY PUSHY
- SABOTAGES YOUR RELATIONSHIP
- SABOTAGES YOUR PROJECTS
- CRITICIZES OR ATTACKS YOU IN FRONT OF OTHERS
- LIES TO HERSELF
- IS TRAPPED IN NARCISSISTIC TRIPS
- DOESN’T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT HERSELF
- WHAT SHE SAYS SOUNDS COMPLETELY UNTRUE
- ACCUSES YOU OF BEING TOO SENSITIVE
- SAYS YOU THINK TOO MUCH
- TELLS YOU TO FUCK OFF
- HARASSES YOU
- EMOTIONALLY ABUSES YOU
- IS UNRELIABLE
- IS INCONSISTENT
- SHOWS UP ONE HOUR LATE AND IS TOTALLY UNAPOLOGETIC OR BOTHERED BY IT
- IS STACKED BEHIND HER CELL PHONE
- SPENDS HOURS ON FACEBOOK
- STARTS TEXTING HER FRIEND WHILE YOU HAVE A CONVERSATION
- CHOOSES TO DO ADMIN WORK LATE AT NIGHT INSTEAD OF SEXUALLY ENGAGING WITH YOU
- IS NOT LOYAL
- BETRAYS YOU AS SOON AS SHE HAS AN OPPORTUNITY TO DO SO
- WANTS TO APPEAR AVAILABLE TO OTHER MEN
- DOESN’T CREATE ROMANTIC SPACE
- PLAYS WITH HER CELL PHONE WHEN SHE GOES TO BE BED INSTEAD OF SEXUALLY ENGAGING WITH YOU
- SETS YOU UP FOR FAILURE
- SETS UP TRAPS FOR YOU
- CREATES LOSE LOSE SITUATIONS FOR YOU
- WAKES YOU UP AT 3AM BECAUSE SHE NEEDS TO PROCESS RIGHT NOW
- TELLS YOU SHE DOESN’T WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU AND THEN ACCUSES YOU OF NOT BEING COMMITTED TO HER
- SAYS SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU BUT DOESN’T REALLY MAKE TIME FOR IT, OR PUTS ALL OF HER OTHER PRIORITIES FIRST
- TAKES PICTURES YOU DON’T LIKE AND POSTS THEM ON FACEBOOK
- DOESN’T VALIDATE YOU ON FACEBOOK OR DOESN’T WANT TO SHOW SHE’S CONNECTED TO YOU
- MANIPULATES YOU TO GET YOU TO FINANCIALLY SUPPORT HER
- LIES TO YOU
- HIDES AN IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION AND THEN PRETENDS SHE TOLD YOU
- HAS A SILENT AGENDA
- ENTERS IN RIVALRY PATTERNS WITH YOU
- GIVES YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT
- WANTS YOU TO SHARE BUT BLOCKS YOUR FLOW AS SOON AS YOU DO
- TELLS YOU THAT YOUR STORIES, IDEAS OR WHAT YOU SHARED IS BORING
- EXPOSES YOU TO EMOTIONAL THREAT WHEN YOU DON’T DO WHAT SHE WANTS
- GOES INTO SILENT TANTRUM, INTERNALIZES HER ANGER OR FRUSTRATION INSTEAD OF VOICING IT
- DISCONNECTS FROM YOU FOR HOURS
- DISSOCIATES WHILE HAVING SEX
- APPEARS AS COLD BLOODED IN HER JUDGMENTS OR THE WAY SHE TREATS YOU
- EXPOSES YOU TO ATTENTION, CARE OR LOVE DENIAL OR DEPRIVATION
- EXPRESSES ZERO KINDNESS TOWARDS YOU
- TREATS YOU LIKE SHIT AND IS SUPER PLEASANT TOWARDS OTHERS
- DIVES IN TOTAL LACK OF JOY
- IS IN SAD ZONE
- EXPOSES YOU TO SILENT PUNISHMENT
- IS AN ATTENTION SEEKER
- GOES INTO “HURTING YOU” PLEASURE
- SEEMS TO BE IN “HURTING YOU” TRANCE
- GOES IN SEXUAL DISSOCIATION
- IS SELFISH
- IS NOT A TEAM PLAYER
- SABOTAGES YOUR EFFORTS TO CREATE HARMONY
- DOESN’T EXPRESS HER GRATITUDE FOR WHAT SHE RECEIVES FROM YOU
- DOESN’T WANT TO CHANGE HER BEHAVIORS, IS SELFISH AND THEN COMPLAINS OR TRIES TO EDUCATE YOU ON SMALL DETAILS
- IS HAPPY WHEN YOU GROCERY SHOP FOR BOTH OF YOU BUT IS SUPER SELFISH AND DOESN’T SHARE WHEN SHE BUYS STUFF HERSELF
- GIVES YOU BIG ABSTRACT SPIRITUAL BYPASS PRINCIPLES ABOUT MALE AND FEMALE ROLES TO JUSTIFY THE FACT THAT YOU MUST BE A PROVIDER OR DO THE PRACTICAL, DIRTY STUFF AROUND THE HOUSE
- SAYS SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TAKE TIME TO MODIFY SHADOW PATTERNS, THAT IT’S SUPERFICIAL OR IRRELEVANT AND THEN FORCES YOU TO DIVE INTO IT AT INAPPROPRIATE MOMENTS
- SAYS SHE WANTS TO BE FREE AND DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS AND THEN TRIES TO EDUCATE YOU OR MANIPULATE YOU TO BE IN SERVICE TO HER OR YOUR COUPLE
- SAYS SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND BUT HAS NO PROBLEM EDUCATING YOU TO BE A PROVIDER AS IF YOU WERE IN THE BOYFRIEND ROLE
- PLAYING GAMES BY SEEING YOU DO THINGS FOR HER OR YOUR COUPLE BUT CONSCIOUSLY NOT RECIPROCATING, BEING SELFISH AND HOLDING BACK FROM GIVING, SHARING OR CONTRIBUTING, CREATING A STRONG GIVE/RECEIVE IMBALANCE
- SABOTAGING YOUR POSITIVE INTENTIONS, HIGH ENERGY, JOY, HIGHS OR SEXUAL HIGHS
- PRESENTING HERSELF AS FREE AND AVAILABLE TO OTHER MEN
- NOT VALIDATING YOU, YOUR LOVE OR YOUR CONNECTION PUBLICLY OR ON SOCIAL NETWORKS
- WANTING TO APPEAR AS IF SHE IS INDEPENDENT AND DOING EVERYTHING BY HERSELF WHILE YOU ARE BEING A PROVIDER FOR HER, HELPING HER OR SUPPORTING HER IN VARIOUS WAYS
- EXPECTS YOU TO TRAVEL TWO HOURS TO SEE HER WHEN SHE WOULD CLEARLY NEVER DO THAT FOR YOU
- ATTACKS YOUR DIGNITY BY ABUSING YOU OR SHAMELESSLY TRYING TO MANIPULATE YOU
- PROVOKES YOU
- SEES YOUR WEAK POINTS AND SAYS THINGS TO TRIGGER YOU
- CHALLENGES YOU
- IS UNRELIABLE
- IS INCONSISTENT
- PLAYS GAMES
- PLAYS TRICKS ON YOU
- IS A TRICKSTER
- REACTS WHEN YOU WANT TO MAKE PLANS WITH HER
- TELLS YOU YOU HAVE NO FUTURE TOGETHER
- IS NOT EMOTIONALLY SAFE TO BE AROUND
- IS NARCISSISTIC
- IS CONDESCENDING
- IS ARROGANT
- IS PEACOCKING
- GETS LOST IN ULTRA COMPLICATED WAYS OF DOING THINGS
- COMPLICATES EVERYTHING
- MISTAKES YOUR KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS
- GETS MEANER WITH YOU AS SOON AS YOU GET KIND WITH HER
- LOVE BOMBS YOU THEN SHIFTS TO TOTAL OPPOSITE
- SAYS YOU ARE PERFECT AND THEN ONLY FINDS NEGATIVES ABOUT YOU
- IS EXTREMELY JEALOUS OF OTHERS
- IS EXTREMELY PRONE TO CHEATING
- USES SEX AS A WEAPON
- MAKES YOU GO WITHOUT SEX TO FRUSTRATE YOU OR PUNISH YOU
- CREATES LOVE TRIANGLES AND SYSTEMATICALLY MAKES YOU COMPETE WITH OTHER MEN
- LECTURES YOU
- BELIEVES SHE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS FOR EVERYTHING
- BELIEVES THAT SHE IS WAY MORE KNOWLEDGEABLE, TALENTED OR SOPHISTICATED THAN YOU
- NEVER ENGAGES OR INVESTS IN ANYTHING SHE CAN’T CONTROL
- USES YOU OR OTHERS AS MEANS TO AN END
- CHARMS THOSE IN POWER TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS
- DEVALUATES THOSE SHE CAN’T COMPETE WITH
- PUSHES YOU TO BE EXCLUSIVE AND THEN ACTIVATES LOVE TRIANGLES WHERE SHE IS THE CENTER
- RAGES A LOT
- LIES A LOT
- LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING
- HAS A WEIRD GIGGLE WHEN YOU ARE NICE (SELF ABSORBED DISCONNECTED, INTERNAL SUPERIORITY, DISCARDING)
- IS OBSESSED WITH HER REPUTATION
- IS SELF ABSORBED IN HER OWN STORY
- SHARE POSTS ON FACEBOOK OR IN SOCIAL CIRCLES THAT TELL A RADICALLY DIFFERENT STORY THAN WHAT YOU WITNESS IN PRIVATE
- SYSTEMATICALLY CROSSES YOUR BOUNDARIES
- FORCES YOU TO DO THINGS AS SOON AS YOU SAY YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THAT
- CONSTANTLY CHALLENGES YOU
- HAS INABILITY TO EMPATHIZE
- CANNOT RELATE
- CANNOT CARE
- IS VERBALLY, EMOTIONALLY OR MENTALLY ABUSIVE
- PROJECTS STUFF ON YOU THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU
- PROJECTS HER STORIES ON YOU
- IS BRUTALLY HONEST
- SAYS SHE WILL HURT YOU
- DOESN’T CHANGE
- RELIVES YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE ELSE
- ACCUSES YOU OF BEING DRAMATIC
- ACCUSES YOU OF GOING INTO DRAMA
- SAYS YOU ARE CREATING DRAMA AND DOES THE SAME HERSELF
- IS SUPER CLUTTERED
- ACCUMULATES STUFF AND JUNK SHE DOESN’T NEED
- SMOTHERS YOU
- TREATS YOU LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD KID
- SPEAKS TO YOU AS IF YOU WERE A LITTLE BOY
- ALWAYS WANTS TO GUIDE YOU BY THE HAND
- IS ALWAYS TRYING TO TEACH YOU STUFF
- LECTURES YOU ON VAST VAGUE PRINCIPLES
- IS PROTECTIVE OR GREEDY WITH HER TOOLS, TECHNIQUES OR KNOWLEDGE
- GETS LOST IN THE PAST
- ENGAGES IN LONG ENDLESS DETAILED STORIES THAT ARE IRRELEVANT TO YOU
- IS STACKED IN THE PAST
- IS AFRAID OF SMALL THINGS
- TRIES TO DOMESTICATE YOU OR MICROMANAGE YOU AROUND THE HOUSE
- CAN’T GIVE YOU A SIMPLE YES
- MAKES EVERYTHING MORE COMPLICATED THAN IT NEEDS TO BE
- BLAMES YOU FOR THE CHOICES SHE MAKES
- ACCUSES YOU WRONGLY
- ACCUSES YOU OF SOMETHING YOU DIDN’T DO
- SAYS YOU ARE GUILTY OF SOMETHING WHEN YOU AREN’T
- WANTS TO NEGOTIATE EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR CONNECTION
- ARRANGING ANYTHING WITH HER IS ALWAYS COMPLICATE
- SYSTEMATICALLY CHANGES APPOINTMENTS
- SYSTEMATICALLY TRIES TO NEGOTIATE AGREEMENTS AGAIN DEPENDENDING ON TEMPORARY NEEDS OR MOODS
- GIVES YOU “DOOR HANDLE” ATTACKS – SAYS SOMETHING NASTY OR CHALLENGING JUST WHEN SHE’S ABOUT TO LEAVE
- IS VINDICTIVE
- COMES WITH LOTS OF DEMANDS AND PRESSURE
- HAS A STRONG SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT
- FEELS YOU OWE HER SOMETHING
- ATTACKS YOU AS SOON AS YOU DISAGREE WITH HER
- THREATENS YOU
- ACCUSES YOU
- ATTACKS ANYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH HER
- HARASSES YOU
- HARASSES OTHERS
- INVADES OTHER PEOPLE’S SPACES
- TRIES TO CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE
- IS EXTREMELY DEMANDING
- DISTORTS FACTS
- OVERGENERALIZES FACTS
- TWISTS FACTS
- EXAGGERATES FACTS
- COMPARES FACTS THAT HAVE LITTLE IN COMMON
- DRAMATIZES FACTS
- IS TRAPPED IN HER OWN STORY
- IS TRAPPED IN HER OWN SELF ABSORBED TRIP
- TAKES OFF WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE AS A THREATENING OR ATTENTION SEEKING MOVE
- TRIES TO GET YOUR ATTENTION OR MAKE YOU JEALOUS BY GETTING SUPER HOT AND SEXUAL WITH YOUR BEST FRIENDS + MAKES SURE YOU WITNESS IT
- PUTS YOU UNDER PRESSURE OR COMES UP WITH A WHOLE LIST OF EXPECTATIONS AND DEMANDS AS SOON AS YOU START RELATING TO HER
- CONTRACTS YOU INSTEAD OF SETTING YOU FREE
- PUTS YOU UNDER SUBTLE PRESSURE
- EXPECTS YOU TO BE PERFECT
- EXPECTS A LOVER TO BEHAVE IN VERY SPECIFIC WAYS AND ACCUSES YOU OF NOT BEING A MATCH BECAUSE YOU MISS CERTAIN POINTS IN YOUR BEHAVIOR
- IS CONSISTENTLY TRYING TO MICROMANAGE, EDUCATE, DOMESTICATE OR MANIPULATE YOU SO THAT YOUR BEHAVIORS AND CHOICES ARE A PERFECT MATCH TO HER NEEDS
- BLASTS YOU WITH PSYCHIC AND EMOTIONAL ATTACKS AS SOON AS YOU DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T MATCH WHAT SHE WANTED
- PROJECTS LOTS OF COERCIVE OR EMOTIONAL THREAT ON YOU TO TRY TO GET YOU TO BEHAVE IN A CERTAIN WAY
- DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO TAKE A NO OR BOUNDARY FROM YOU
- SABOTAGES YOUR ATTEMPTS TO CONNECT DEEPER WITH HER
- TELLS YOU THERE IS NOTHING ANYMORE WITH HER EX AND THEN FUCKS HIM
- IS COMPLETELY STACKED ON HER CHOICES, BOUNDARIES AND CHOICES AND ENDLESSLY ASKING YOU TO ALTER YOUR CHOICES AND PREFERENCES TO FIT HER NEEDS
Ok!
Glad you survived and made it to the end of this list!
Do you recognize any of these?
Any other behaviors you are exposed to that is not mentioned in this list?
What do you do when you are exposed to some of these?
What’s the impact of these shadows on your couple?
What’s the best response to the shadows you are exposed to?
Which of your possible responses would create more bonding in your couple?
What are your own shadows or attitudes that might trigger her?
—–
Here are some possible responses…
I am not judging or giving you any specific directions yet, just exposing the range of what your reactions might be:
LEAVE
STAY PRESENT
DON’T REACT
GET TRIGGERED
FEEL IT
ARGUE
DEFEND YOURSELF
EMOTIONAL RELEASE
GET DRUNK
SURF THE NET
CONNECT WITH FRIENDS
GET CREATIVE
GET LOST IN WORK
TEASE HER
USE HUMOR
MEDITATE
DISCONNECT
PERMANENT SEPARATION
JOURNAL
STAY UNTOUCHED
…
The main mistake you can make is to take toomuch in a woman’s feelings, emotions and more.
In most cases the best response to female shadows is to stay centered and untouched.
This means that you go on doing what you are supposed to!
Stay centered on yourself!
Don’t let her emotions or projections become yours.
This can mean putting up walls or distracting yourself online or connecting with friends.
This can mean dissociating from staying present with her.
Be non reactive!
Often the best is to not escalate fights or not let her provoke you.
You can as well go fiery and into fights if it’s something you consciously do and master together.
You notice that through all these experiences, the target is emotional mastery!
It’s not about just being passive or non reactive to a trigger.
It’s more complex than that.
You can express anger or frustration for instance but the goal is to master that emotion, not to be enslaved by it.
These situations are like emotional ninja training.
Some women will be super challenging to be around and attack you in various ways multiple times a day, or they might get suddenly distant or sad.
This means that as a man, you could be exposed to multiple situations a day where a woman you are with challenges you.
You could as well be exposed to multiple shadow attacks coming from various sources like a friend, lover, ex, daughter or colleague.
I feel that the dynamics between men and women are specific enough for us to focus on that specific category where men are exposed to female shadows.
And within that category, maybe 80% of the shadows men are exposed to might come from their romantic partner, lover or wife.
Mothers are very present as well as possible shadow sources.
Teenage daughter, female boss, colleague, sister, etc score high as well as potential shadow sources.
Shadow attacks from women are very specific and once you label them as shadow, it becomes way easier to master them.
There is often a deep confusion in men when being exposed to shadow attacks from romantic partners because you expect love and get an attack instead.
For instance you just had sex and your lover projects on you some untamed judgement or criticism.
You just had sex!
You are wide open emotionally!
You dropped your emotional weapons when engaging into sex.
An emotional attack is the last thing you expect!
Or maybe you do expect it but are not fully ready for it.
The point is that it is an emotional or energy attack, and this attack can send you off center and make you do stupid things.
—
So, what’s the point of these attacks ?
Just wrote another post on that one
—
When it comes to responses, it’s good to have a trained set of moves, weapons, behaviours, emotional responses or tactics .
In many cases one of your tactics might work really well with one specific person but then be useless with other specific challenges or with someone else.
You notice as well that I use the word tactic because it is a battle!
These psychic projections and destabilizing actions, words or emotions from women are attacks and if you want to win at this game, you need a battle plan.
Next point, emotional or energetic intelligence!
You can rationally understand a tactic but embodying and mastering it is a whole different story!
You don’t know if you fully master a challenge pattern or not until you are exposed to it and thrive through it multiple times.
For instance your wife might criticize you. You listen and take it as constructive feedback one day.
Maybe next time you are exposed to a similar criticism attack, you feel totally offended and enter in reactive mode.
Training an emotional response takes, clarity, understanding and often repetition.
You must be smart and stay awake.
—
Seeing your romantic or sex partner as your shadow trainer is a big mind shift.
Sex and relationship become your training ground.
The tactics I offer you are the battle strategies that you can then apply in real life.
The emotional intelligence that you develop in these sex and relationship spaces can be applied of course in other aspects of life as well.
You have two core aspects to this shadow training.
The first one is understanding the tactics.
The second one is applying these tactics in real life.
Most people tend to run away from high energy challenges when they arise.
If you experience discomfort, strong emotions, energy challenges, the goal is to stay present and feel the best emotional response to these specific situations.
You must feel in the flow the best response!
These responses are energy postures, attitudes that are a combination of winning mind sets.
Each response is an energy posture, set of thoughts, beliefs, associated feelings and emotions.
This means that your energy posture is not just an affirmations or a communication tactic for instance.
It is the full embodiment of an energy that translates itself through the filter of your mind creating thoughts, emotions, feelings, bodily sensations or even physical postures.
Your energy response is a transmission that radiates out a certain message.
Your shadow training is part of your life mastery training.
STAY PRESENT
DON’T REACT
GET TRIGGERED
FEEL IT
ARGUE
DEFEND YOURSELF
EMOTIONAL RELEASE
GET DRUNK
SURF THE NET
CONNECT WITH FRIENDS
GET CREATIVE
GET LOST IN WORK
TEASE HER
USE HUMOR
MEDITATE
DISCONNECT
PERMANENT SEPARATION
JOURNAL
STAY UNTOUCHED
…
The main mistake you can make is to take toomuch in a woman’s feelings, emotions and more.
In most cases the best response to female shadows is to stay centered and untouched.
This means that you go on doing what you are supposed to!
Stay centered on yourself!
Don’t let her emotions or projections become yours.
This can mean putting up walls or distracting yourself online or connecting with friends.
This can mean dissociating from staying present with her.
Be non reactive!
Often the best is to not escalate fights or not let her provoke you.
You can as well go fiery and into fights if it’s something you consciously do and master together.
You notice that through all these experiences, the target is emotional mastery!
It’s not about just being passive or non reactive to a trigger.
It’s more complex than that.
You can express anger or frustration for instance but the goal is to master that emotion, not to be enslaved by it.
These situations are like emotional ninja training.
Some women will be super challenging to be around and attack you in various ways multiple times a day, or they might get suddenly distant or sad.
This means that as a man, you could be exposed to multiple situations a day where a woman you are with challenges you.
You could as well be exposed to multiple shadow attacks coming from various sources like a friend, lover, ex, daughter or colleague.
I feel that the dynamics between men and women are specific enough for us to focus on that specific category where men are exposed to female shadows.
And within that category, maybe 80% of the shadows men are exposed to might come from their romantic partner, lover or wife.
Mothers are very present as well as possible shadow sources.
Teenage daughter, female boss, colleague, sister, etc score high as well as potential shadow sources.
Shadow attacks from women are very specific and once you label them as shadow, it becomes way easier to master them.
There is often a deep confusion in men when being exposed to shadow attacks from romantic partners because you expect love and get an attack instead.
For instance you just had sex and your lover projects on you some untamed judgement or criticism.
You just had sex!
You are wide open emotionally!
You dropped your emotional weapons when engaging into sex.
An emotional attack is the last thing you expect!
Or maybe you do expect it but are not fully ready for it.
The point is that it is an emotional or energy attack, and this attack can send you off center and make you do stupid things.
—
So, what’s the point of these attacks ?
Just wrote another post on that one
—
When it comes to responses, it’s good to have a trained set of moves, weapons, behaviours, emotional responses or tactics .
In many cases one of your tactics might work really well with one specific person but then be useless with other specific challenges or with someone else.
You notice as well that I use the word tactic because it is a battle!
These psychic projections and destabilizing actions, words or emotions from women are attacks and if you want to win at this game, you need a battle plan.
Next point, emotional or energetic intelligence!
You can rationally understand a tactic but embodying and mastering it is a whole different story!
You don’t know if you fully master a challenge pattern or not until you are exposed to it and thrive through it multiple times.
For instance your wife might criticize you. You listen and take it as constructive feedback one day.
Maybe next time you are exposed to a similar criticism attack, you feel totally offended and enter in reactive mode.
Training an emotional response takes, clarity, understanding and often repetition.
You must be smart and stay awake.
—
Seeing your romantic or sex partner as your shadow trainer is a big mind shift.
Sex and relationship become your training ground.
The tactics I offer you are the battle strategies that you can then apply in real life.
The emotional intelligence that you develop in these sex and relationship spaces can be applied of course in other aspects of life as well.
You have two core aspects to this shadow training.
The first one is understanding the tactics.
The second one is applying these tactics in real life.
Most people tend to run away from high energy challenges when they arise.
If you experience discomfort, strong emotions, energy challenges, the goal is to stay present and feel the best emotional response to these specific situations.
You must feel in the flow the best response!
These responses are energy postures, attitudes that are a combination of winning mind sets.
Each response is an energy posture, set of thoughts, beliefs, associated feelings and emotions.
This means that your energy posture is not just an affirmations or a communication tactic for instance.
It is the full embodiment of an energy that translates itself through the filter of your mind creating thoughts, emotions, feelings, bodily sensations or even physical postures.
Your energy response is a transmission that radiates out a certain message.
Your shadow training is part of your life mastery training.
