Here are 20 specific examples of flaky behavior, the negative impact it may have on others, and suggestions for more committed, present, and considerate responses.

1. “I’ll try to make it.”

• Impact: Creates uncertainty, leaving the other person hanging.
• Shift: Say: “I’ll confirm by [specific time]. If I can’t, assume I won’t make it.”

2. “Let’s meet sometime soon!”

• Impact: Comes across as vague and insincere.
• Shift: Say: “How about Thursday at 6 PM?”

3. “Sorry, I forgot!”

• Impact: Makes others feel undervalued and disrespected.
• Shift: Set reminders or say: “I’ll make sure to write this down so I don’t miss it.”

4. “I’ll text you later.”

• Impact: Leaves the other person waiting and frustrated.
• Shift: Say: “I’ll text you by 5 PM today,” and follow through.

5. “Let’s play it by ear.”

• Impact: Creates confusion with open-ended plans.
• Shift: Say: “Let’s check in at noon to finalize plans.”

6. “I might come, but no promises.”

• Impact: Signals low commitment, diminishing trust.
• Shift: Say: “I won’t be able to make it this time, but let’s plan something soon.”

7. “Sorry I’m late!” (Repeated behavior)

• Impact: Disrespects the other person’s time.
• Shift: Plan to arrive 10 minutes early, and say: “Thanks for waiting. I’ll be more mindful moving forward.”

8. “I’ll think about it.” (With no follow-up)

• Impact: Creates false hope and leaves the other person waiting.
• Shift: Say: “I’ll let you know by Friday.”

9. “I was going to come, but…” (Excuses)

• Impact: Feels dismissive and disingenuous.
• Shift: Take ownership: “I missed it, and I’m sorry. I’ll make it up next time.”

10. “Something came up.” (Repeated excuse)

• Impact: Erodes trust over time.
• Shift: Be honest: “I didn’t prioritize this, and I recognize that wasn’t fair.”

11. “I’ll get back to you soon.” (With no follow-through)

• Impact: Creates frustration and confusion.
• Shift: Say: “I’ll get back to you by [specific day/time].”

12. “I forgot to RSVP.”

• Impact: Makes organizing events harder for others.
• Shift: Say: “I’ll RSVP now so it’s clear whether or not I’ll be there.”

13. “Let me know if you need anything!” (Without real intention)

• Impact: Can feel like an empty offer.
• Shift: Be specific: “I’m free on Saturday if you need help with anything.”

14. “Let’s catch up sometime.”

• Impact: Can feel superficial or insincere.
• Shift: Say: “Can we grab coffee on Monday? I’d love to catch up.”

15. “I’ll help out if I can.”

• Impact: Comes off as non-committal.
• Shift: Say: “If you still need help, I’ll be available at [specific time].”

16. “I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

• Impact: Dismisses the other person’s effort or expectation.
• Shift: Say: “I realize this was important to you. I’ll be more mindful next time.”

17. “Sorry, I totally missed your message!”

• Impact: Feels like a lack of care.
• Shift: Check in regularly: “I saw your message. Here’s my response.”

18. “Let’s just see how it goes.”

• Impact: Can create anxiety about unclear plans.
• Shift: Say: “I’m open to being flexible, but let’s start with [one clear detail].”

19. “I thought you knew I wasn’t coming.”

• Impact: Shifts responsibility onto the other person.
• Shift: Say: “I apologize for not being clear. I’ll do better next time.”

20. “Sorry, I’ve been so busy.”

• Impact: Can feel like an excuse or a dismissal.
• Shift: Say: “I’ve been overwhelmed, but I value our connection. Let’s find time to reconnect.”