What are flying monkeys?
Flying monkeys are the people manipulators send to do their dirty work.
They’re the messengers, the guilt-trippers, the gaslighters-by-proxy. They spread rumors, apply pressure, or shame you into compliance—all while pretending they’re just “concerned” or “trying to help.”
Think of them as emotional hitmen dressed in empathy.
Where does this term come from?
Straight out of The Wizard of Oz.
The Wicked Witch didn’t get her hands dirty—she sent flying monkeys to attack for her. Same in real life. Narcissists and manipulators love enablers who carry their chaos for them.
It’s not fiction. It’s textbook.
Why do people become flying monkeys?
Because they’re hooked.
Hooked by loyalty. Hooked by fear. Hooked by the manipulator’s charm, sob story, or lies. Some want to be heroes. Some want to feel important. Some are just too emotionally immature to see they’re being weaponized.
But make no mistake—they’re still part of the abuse system.
What do flying monkeys say?
- “She’s really hurting, you know. Can’t you just talk to her?”
- “He didn’t mean it like that. You’re overreacting.”
- “Why are you causing drama? Just move on already.”
- “You need to forgive and be the bigger person.”
Translation? Gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and shaming all rolled into one passive-aggressive package.
How can you recognize one?
They show up after you set a boundary.
They question your version of reality. They subtly pressure you to go back to the person you escaped. They twist your words. They defend behavior they didn’t even witness.
And they do it all with a smile that says, “I’m just trying to help.”
Are flying monkeys always conscious of what they’re doing?
No—but that doesn’t make it harmless.
Some truly think they’re helping. Others know exactly what they’re doing and enjoy the control. Either way, the impact is the same: You feel confused, manipulated, and unsafe.
Good intentions don’t excuse emotional terrorism.
What should you do if a flying monkey shows up?
Hold the line.
- Don’t explain.
- Don’t justify.
- Don’t argue.
Say: “This is between me and them. I’m not discussing it.”
Or: “I’m not available for triangulation. Please respect that.”
Then exit the conversation.
The less you engage, the more power you reclaim.
Why do manipulators need flying monkeys?
Because they hate direct conflict.
They want control without confrontation. So they outsource pressure. They make themselves the victim. They let others fight their battles while they stay clean.
It’s cowardice disguised as strategy.
Can flying monkeys ever wake up?
Yes—but only if they stop drinking the Kool-Aid.
That means questioning the story they were sold. That means seeing the manipulator’s pattern. That means owning their role in enabling harm and deciding not to play that game anymore.
Waking up requires courage. And accountability.
FINAL TRUTH BOMB:
If they need an army to fight you, you were probably never the villain.
Watch who flies in. That’s who’s really holding the leash.
