A Freeup Is A Spectrum, Not A Switch
A freeup is not just one big goodbye.
This article is about freeup stages: all the options between staying exactly the same and walking away completely.
The Old Way Is All In Or All Out
All in. Fully bonded. Everything shared.
Or all out. Done. No contact.
Real life has lots of room between those two.
Part Of The Vehicle Can Dissolve, Not All Of It
Your relationship has a shape, made of your agreements and your ways of doing life together. In tantric coupling, this is called the coupling vehicle.
In a freeup, the vehicle can be changed and expanded. Some parts dissolve. Other parts stay. Sometimes all of it is complete.
A Freeup Offers A Menu Of Options
- Change The Agreements — “Some of our rules limit one of us, so let’s open them up.”
- Free Flow — “We want to stay close and be open to other connections.”
- Live Differently — “Let’s stop living together and see how that feels.”
- Different Cities — “We can stay connected while living in two places.”
- Take A Break — “Let’s pause for a month, maybe longer, and then talk.”
- Complete The Chapter — “We shared what we came to share, and we’re moving on with love.”
Free Flow Is One Of The Options
Free flow means moving from an exclusive relationship to one with sexual openness and connection with more than one partner. Some people call it an open relationship.
The new agreements are made together, by both partners.
Agreements Can Grow With You
Your field of agreements is allowed to evolve, and you can stay connected in a new format.
Too Close Can Squeeze The Life Out Of Both Of You
When two people are fully symbiotic, with everything shared and no room to breathe, they can asphyxiate each other’s lives.
Without spaciousness, it gets hard to keep evolving.
Space helps love keep growing.
Going Straight To Goodbye Can Skip Beautiful Middle Stages
Going from completely in to completely out can skip stages in between. Sometimes those middle stages hold more life and a higher frequency than a full separation.
Your Relationship Has Its Own Purpose
Every coupling has a purpose, called its dharma. You can tune into your coupling destiny line and feel what shape serves that purpose now.
- Get Quiet — “What does our connection want to become?”
- Notice Energy — “Which option feels the most alive and honest?”
- Ask Together — “Let’s each say what we need, then design the next stage.”
- Test Gently — “Let’s try this for a month and check in.”
Some Chapters Are Simply Complete
Sometimes the experiences you came to share are finished. The loving move is to complete the chapter with respect.
Completing a chapter can still bring tears. Let them come.
Moving In Sync Helps You Both Thrive
When both partners move through a freeup in sync, it feels like surfing the same wave. A follow-up video shares specific codes and techniques to help you do that.
If You Are In A Freeup Right Now, Start Tuning In
Check in with yourself today. Ask which stage is true for you right now.
Not sure which stage of your freeup is true? Reach out for coaching and let’s find the right shape for your relationship together.
Keep Reading
- Tantric Coupling Freeup: Why A Great Relationship Can End With Nobody To Blame
- How To Master Your Freeup
- Free Up Is Not The End, But The Transmutation Into A New Relating Format
- Your Freeup Is Not Failure, It Is A Natural Step In Your Coupling Cycle
- Rebuild: Adjust — Why The Best Agreements Are Built To Evolve
