The first thing to realize is that you are the one who has the greatest influence over what happens in your mind and in your life.
Your thoughts, emotions, beliefs and attitudes are in your territory.
This means that if there is something you don’t like, it is in your right and power to do something about it.
The second step is to break your challenge into small “affordable” parts.
You reduce the problem or challenge to its real size.
You make it very specific.
For instance if you tend to get angry in certain situations, identify exactly what are the circumstances which bring these emotions to the surface:
- What is the context?
- With who does it happen?
- What are the underlying dynamics behind this anger?
Once you know exactly what the negative pattern is, identify what you want.
Think of what you want, not what you believe you should do or what others ask from you.
If you don’t like the pattern you manifest now, identify exactly what the ideal behavior, thought or belief would be.
What does the perfect action, thought or attitude look like for you?
Once you know what your plan or desire is, you need to retrain your mind or behavior.
You do this in real or in “simulation” as role play for instance.
For instance, if you tend to get angry with someone, practice being in front of this person and expressing your new behavior or attitude.
If a mind set has been with you for years, it takes some focus and energy to shift that pattern,
A mind set is like a path way you traced in your life.
It is a habit.
If you want to shift this pattern, you need to repeat the new behavior over a period of a few weeks until this new behavior, belief or emotion is truly grounded in your life.
Focus on one pattern at a time.
Focus on this behavior shift for at least a week and then let it go.
If you can identify 4 or 5 patterns you don’t like, it will take you one to three months to create a new mind set and align your actions, thoughts and emotions with your ideal mind set.
True, it does take focus and energy.
Now, if you make it your top priority for minimum a week, you usually can break through.