Interviewer: “Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Soul to Soul. My guest today is Shiva Rajaya. Shiva is a practitioner of Tantra for more than 30 years and has been teaching Tantra for the last 20 years. Shiva, welcome.”
Shiva Rajaya: “Thank you, it’s such a pleasure to be here.”
Interviewer: “So, what is Tantra?”
Shiva Rajaya: “Good question. There’s a big distinction between what Tantra is and what is being exposed out there in the world. To summarize it into a couple of concepts: Tantra, for me, is a complete path of life mastery. Imagine, already in ancient times, and also within classical Tantra, that you have masters and teachers who want to teach the world how to be a better embodied human being. How to optimize, deal with food, society, and embody all the different aspects of our lives in ways that are optimized. So, for me, this is what Tantra is. It’s not just personal development; it is a mystical path of life mastery. That’s the first frame. The second frame is a complete path of awakening. We want to wake up, go beyond the limits of the Matrix, beyond the constructs of society, and reconnect to the source. The field of Tantra is a path of awakening as well.”
Interviewer: “What is awakening for people who are not in the spiritual realm? What do you mean by ‘Matrix’?”
Shiva Rajaya: “You saw the movie, right? We live in a construct, within the field of four dimensions – three dimensions of space and one of time, which we call physical reality. But when we enter the fields of energetics, for instance, we realize our bodies aren’t separate entities. Through quantum physics or shamanism, we discover that physical matter is mostly emptiness. As we have these conversations, our minds and spirits interact, impacting each other. Entering from the fourth dimension into the fifth dimension of energy, we activate energy. The first layer of awakening is when someone suddenly has a mystical experience, feeling a connection with nature and the world, sensations of love for everything and everybody. That’s entering the fifth dimension. The second layer of awakening is connecting to the source beyond that, which I call the sixth dimension.”
Interviewer: “We should sing a mantra, but not yet. Let me ask you a couple more questions. One stigma about Tantra is that it’s all about sex. When people hear ‘Tantra’, they often think it’s just an orgy. What is the distinction between Tantra and sex, and what role does sex play in Tantra?”
Shiva Rajaya: “That’s a beautiful question. I believe that sexual energy and sexual practices are part of the tantric field, but they represent only a fraction of what Tantra encompasses. The spirit of Tantra has been evolving for over 3,000 years. At some point, it inspired teachers to bring new teachings to the Western world, specifically addressing sexual pain and trauma. This new wave of teaching doesn’t discredit classical Tantra; it adds to it. Sexual practices in Tantra open up fields we wouldn’t tap into otherwise, which is very healing for humankind and a stepping stone in our evolution. However, some of the neo-Tantra teachings can be shallow. It’s important to find depth and not just focus on sensual gratification.”
Interviewer: “What would I see differently in a room where you and your partner are practicing Tantra, compared to just having sex?”
Shiva Rajaya: “In tantric sex, the intention is different. It’s not just about sensual gratification but about opening a sacred space, offering our connection as a divine prayer. We sing mantras, create a sacred space with geometry and other elements. The quality of the experience differs significantly. It’s like the difference between doing stretches at a gym and practicing yoga. Yoga is not just physical; it’s a prayer, a spiritual practice.”
Shiva Rajaya: “The core element of tantric sex is the intention behind the act. It’s more profound than regular sex. You don’t just feel pleasure; you experience a deeper connection with your partner, viewing them as a divine being. It expands your emotional and energetic potential beyond previous experiences. It’s surprisingly simple to access. By singing mantras, making eye contact, and engaging your entire being before making physical contact, you transform the experience. Your body becomes an erogenous zone, not focused solely on the genitals. You might also explore Lingam and Yoni massage, but the first step is always energetic connection.”
Interviewer: “I’ve heard about full body orgasms in Tantra. Can you explain that?”
Shiva Rajaya: “A full body orgasm doesn’t need to be tantric. It’s a biological or energetic response that can happen to many people. The mystical experiences in Tantra…
Shiva Rajaya: “The mystical experiences in Tantra, feeling the divine and activating a sacred temple, are different from traditional friction-based sex. If you feel something is missing in your sexual experiences, tantric sex might offer new channels and possibilities.”
Interviewer: “From what I see, many who practice and teach Tantra are often in open relationships. Is that something you practice as well?”
Shiva Rajaya: “There’s a distinction between polyamory, open relationships, and Tantra. They sometimes overlap but are different concepts. In my experience, most Tantra practitioners I know are in committed relationships. The trend is shifting from open to more committed relationships. For beginners, the allure of exploration in open settings is attractive. In my life, I’ve been in mostly committed relationships. I find that opening a relationship brings instability and challenges. Only a small percentage of people are emotionally equipped for open relationships. Tantra and polyamory are separate, though they might seem to overlap. In my belief, focusing your energy on one person in tantric sex, especially in the beginning, creates a safer, more profound experience.”
Interviewer: “I had friends who said they wanted to try Tantra, but it seemed more like they just wanted to get laid. Is the stigma around Tantra attracting people more interested in sex than spiritual connection?”
Shiva Rajaya: “What you’re pointing out is true. The deeper desire is to return to a state of oneness. Through sex, we connect and have beautiful experiences. Our society, with its frustrations and conditioning, often suppresses this. Pleasure itself is sacred. If someone wants deeper and more pleasurable sexual experiences, that’s a positive thing, as long as it’s done with integrity and safety. The world is sexually frustrated, with many distortions and shadows around sex. We need teachings to harmonize this field. Often, decisions made on a global level are influenced by this frustration. Improving the optimization of our sexual energy, which I believe is currently at only 20% of its potential, could lead to more balanced and healthy dynamics.”
Interviewer: “Why do you think there’s so much shadow around sex?”
Shiva Rajaya: “It’s ancestral. I believe that before the advent of modern religions, we probably engaged in much more sex, like some primate species that resolve everything through sex. However, as society developed, we needed order. Religious figures like Moses came along, setting rules around sex, confining it to marriage, and making anything outside of it a sin. Over time, this created a shadow around sex, leading to issues like rape, cheating, and other unhealthy behaviors. Even now, these shadows and traumas are embedded in our collective consciousness, not just from Christianity or Judaism, but most major religions. We’re ready for a shift, to open up the field and educate people more openly.”
Interviewer: “What about masculinity? There’s a lot of discussion about the crisis of masculinity. How do you see that?”
Shiva Rajaya: “We’re rediscovering ways of being male on this planet. There’s a crisis in leadership, with structures leading us in unhealthy directions. Instead of competing, we can support each other as brothers. In relationships, instead of toxic or abusive patterns, we can choose to be protectors and supporters. We need training systems to evolve from immature to mature masculinity. In men’s circles, we support each other in this evolution. We call each other out and create a brotherhood resonance field that supports our growth.”
Shiva Rajaya: “In these circles, we encourage honesty, transparency, responsiveness, and support among men. It’s about shifting from toxic masculinity to healthy, mature masculinity. The same applies to femininity; there’s both toxic and healthy femininity. We often hear about toxic masculinity, but not as much about toxic femininity, which is also important to address.”
Interviewer: “I’ve been struggling to feel emotions. They seem diluted, like sparkling water that’s lost its fizz. I understand I’m happy or angry, but I don’t fully feel these emotions. Have you faced this, and how would you navigate it?”
Shiva Rajaya: “The first step is understanding the source. Were you born with an inability to feel, or did it develop over time? Our education system often focuses on the head, not emotions. It trains us to suppress emotions, leading to situations like yours. Reclaiming your emotions involves practicing presence, breathing, disconnecting from the past and future, and getting back into your body. In men’s circles, for example, we engage in activities that embody and release emotions. It’s about moving one step at a time from the head to the body.”
Interviewer: “I thought I had lost my capacity to feel. I tried different therapies, but nothing worked. Maybe your approach is the answer.”
Shiva Rajaya: “It’s simpler than it seems. Your wife, for instance, could help you enter energetic states that allow your emotions to circulate. Sensuality, self-exploration, and focusing on subtle sensations can awaken emotions. It’s about retraining a skill that’s been dormant due to our societal conditioning.”
Interviewer: “One part of my podcast involves soulful questions. One question I ask is, what do you think happens after we die?”
Shiva Rajaya: “I believe our physical body dissolves, and most aspects of our personality do as well. We return to a unified field of consciousness. The concept of reincarnation is mysterious, and while I believe there’s some form of it, it’s still a question I’m exploring. Some spiritual practices, like Tibetan meditation, prepare for the next incarnation, suggesting many possibilities in the spiritual field.”
Interviewer: “What are some beliefs you used to hold, perhaps a year, ten years, or twenty years ago, that you don’t hold anymore?”
Shiva Rajaya: “One major shift is in my perception of humankind. I no longer believe that something is fundamentally wrong with us. Instead, I see everything as perfect in its own way. The notion that humankind or the planet needs rescuing has changed in my perspective. I now view life with ‘pronoia’ rather than paranoia, believing life gives us what we need to evolve. I’ve also moved away from the duality of good and evil, seeing things more in terms of non-duality. It’s all just energy in motion, with our physical reality making distinctions between pain and pleasure, but in the grander scheme, it’s just energy interacting.”
Interviewer: “If you could meet your younger self, say 20 years ago, what would you tell him?”
Shiva Rajaya: “I’d say, ‘Trust and keep moving forward. Everything’s okay.’ It’s about embracing the journey and trusting the process.”
Interviewer: “Let’s talk about living a happy and fulfilling life. What would be your advice for this?”
Shiva Rajaya: “Self-reflection is key. Instead of blaming external circumstances, understand that much of what happens in our lives is within our control. Find a system, a mentor, or a support group that accelerates your evolution. We have abundant resources and tools available now. It’s about taking intentional steps towards growth and not being afraid to explore new possibilities.”
Interviewer: “Lastly, any parting words for our listeners?”
Shiva Rajaya: “To everyone listening, I encourage you to reach out if you have questions or need guidance. Keep searching, keep moving forward. There’s so much more beyond what mainstream media and society present. There are mysteries and secrets waiting to be unveiled. You’re doing great, you’re powerful, and there’s much more ahead for you.”
Interviewer: “Thank you, Shiva, for your wisdom and for joining us today. To our viewers and listeners, please like, subscribe, and share so more people can benefit from this knowledge. Thank you, and goodbye.”
