WHAT ARE “YOU STATEMENTS” ?


The opposite of “I statements” is typically referred to as “you statements” or “other-directed statements.” These statements often shift the focus and responsibility from the speaker to another person or group. While “I statements” are centered on the speaker’s feelings, perceptions, and experiences, “you statements” tend to attribute actions, intentions, or feelings to others.

For example:

  • An “I statement” might be: “I feel upset when meetings start late.”
  • The opposite, a “you statement,” would be: “You always make me upset by starting meetings late.”

“You statements” can sometimes lead to defensiveness or conflict in conversations, as they can come across as accusatory or blameful. This is in contrast to “I statements,” which are generally used to express one’s own feelings or thoughts without making assumptions about others, thereby fostering more open and constructive communication.


About the author

Shiva Rajaya

Tantrika / Life coach / Activator of new evolutionary codes for the planet and humankind


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