The Scenario
You tell a friend your father passed away and you’re struggling.
Instead of sitting with you, they say: “Everything happens for a reason.” Or: “He’s in a better place now.”
You Can Do It To Yourself Too
Meditating through the grief. Telling yourself you’ve already let it go.
When really, you’ve just stopped looking at it.
This Is Spiritual Bypassing
The tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to avoid facing unresolved emotional wounds, painful feelings, and unfinished developmental tasks.
Where The Term Comes From
Coined in 1984 by psychologist and Buddhist practitioner John Welwood, after he noticed the pattern in himself.
Spirituality Itself Isn’t The Problem
Welwood’s point: the problem is using it as a shortcut around the work.
His Example
Someone tries to practice non-attachment by dismissing their own need for love.
That doesn’t remove the need. It just pushes it underground, where it keeps shaping their behavior without them noticing.
It’s Been Studied Since
Psychologist Jesse Fox and colleagues built a spiritual bypass scale to measure it.
Described as a defensive posture that privileges spiritual beliefs and experiences over real psychological needs.
It Isn’t Always A Red Flag
Some researchers argue certain behaviors labeled as bypassing may just be a normal stage of spiritual development.
The difference comes down to what the practice is being used for.
If you suspect you’ve been using a practice to skip past something instead of moving through it, reach out for coaching and let’s find out what’s actually underneath it.
Keep Reading
- Unraveling: The Spiritual Breakdown That Awakens Your Real Self
- Not Every Feeling Is A Truth: Stop Worshipping Mind Fog
- The Goddess Syndrome: When Empowerment Turns Into Entitlement
